Robin's Welcome to Muppet Theaters

outerelf

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Chapter 7: Call to the Theater

Kermit slowly made his way to the small trailer he was sharing with Robin, feet aching. They had filmed five segments strung together, ended up running overtime, and he was slightly worried about Robin.

Sweetums would look after him, but it still had to be overwhelming- “Excuse me Kermit.”

“The Frog, yes how may I help you?”

“We were thinking over what you were saying and about how the Princess should turn into a pig or another frog for it to stay truly happy- I was just thinking that maybe we should get a new lead.”

Normally he’d be shocked and saddened- right now he could barely keep himself jumping from glee. It was perfect! Now he could leave the set early and spend some quality time with his nephew, and get the theater moving smoothly again-

“I-I see.”

“So you have no objections?”

“None.”

“And you don’t mind whoever is cast instead of you?”

“No.”

“You won’t interfere in the filming process.”

“No.”

“Promise?”

“No, I won’t! Why are you asking me all of this?”

“Perfect, then Mister Robin the Frog will play the part of Sir Robin.”

“…WHAT?! Now look here, Robin’s still a child-“

“You gave permission and promised you wouldn’t interfere.” The director smirked at Kermit’s panicked expression as he held up a recorder. “I have you on tape giving your word.”

“B-But what about what Robin? What did he say?”

“He said, and I quote, ‘Ask Uncle Kermit, if he says yes then sure, I’ll do it’.” The director walked away laughing at the top of his lungs. Kermit watched him go, mouth hanging open.

“Robin- my little nephew Robin? The star of the movie? What is going on here?”

Slowly he made his way to his trailer, fully expecting to see Robin playing around either around or inside of it. Instead the trailer sat empty and dark in the slowly gathering twilight.

Kermit turned right around and headed for the pond- if Robin wasn’t there, then Kermit would begin worrying.

The frog hummed softly to himself as he waltzed down the walkway, watching firefly’s dance in the cool late spring breeze. The first few twinkling stars appeared in the sky.

It was under this peaceful scene he found Sweetums slumped against a stone wall, snoring softly, a curled up Robin snuggled in his arms. Kermit’s heart did a weird little flip-flop. He was glad… yet sad at the same time.

Gently he lifted Robin from Sweetum’s arms. “Sweetums, you should go to bed now- I’ll take care of Robin.”

The Ogre yawned as he nodded and slowly trooped off, sleep ladened feet heavy. Kermit grunted as he shifted Robin around until he was carrying his nephew piggy-back, and started out on the journey back to the trailer.

Robin stirred slightly, in time to see his uncle’s tongue shoot out to catch a firefly. Slowly his eyes ran over the scenery- in the forgiving cover of darkness and moonlight, everything was soft-edged and beautiful. Firefly’s danced around flowers and trees, reflecting off the small pond.

“I was right Uncle Kermit. Everything really does look better when you’re around.”

Robin slipped peacefully into sleep, missing his Uncles surprised, happy look, and the deep green blush that splashed the cheeks of one very proud uncle.

-------------

Kermit tucked Robin into bed, and looked worriedly at the phone- did he or did he not dare call the Muppet Theater? Their phone usually didn’t work, but he knew exactly how it went- if some huge problem was going on then it would undoubtedly go through.

He gulped, tugging at the ringed collar around his neck. One trembling finger punched in the numbers, a half-second pause between each number.

Ring.

One ring. So far so good.

Ring.

Two… How long does a phone take be answered anyways?

Ring.

Three rings! Ah-ah-ah. Oh sheesh-

Ring.

-I’m beginning to count like the Count now.

Ring.

...What number was that?

Ring- SPLOOSH!

Water poured out of the phone, smacking Kermit in the face. The frog sniffed delicately, testing the water. “Oh hey, this is fresh water from Louisiana- I’d recognize that spice from there in anything.”

“H-Hello, this is Muppet Theater, how can I help you?” Fozzies voice snapped Kermit out of his contemplation.

“Fozzie, want to tell me why there’s Louisiana river water coming out of the phone?”

“Uhhh- W-Well, I had to plan a new act- hey you guys, could you row a little closer to the phone? We’re getting to the end of the line here-“

“You wanna try rowing upstream when you’re only so less then a foot tall?” Snapped a voice from the other side of the line.

A chorus of agreement rose. “It takes three of us to just move it one inch!”

“A-Anyways Kermit,” Fozzie spoke louder, attempting to drown out the rats, “We’re just trying to tidy the place up a little you know? WAAAHHHH!”

“THAT’S IT! MOI CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! MOVE OVER BEAR! HIYAAH!”

Kermit winced as he heard the distinct sound of a bear flying through air, followed by the dull thud of landing in a wall. “Now then, who’s on the line?”

“Miss Piggy?”

“Oh, why it’s you Kermie! Ahahaha! So, how’s filming?”

“Oh, just fine. Apparently my nephew Robin is going to be the main character now instead of me, which frees me up for Sesame Street. Is everything going alright over in the Muppet Theater?”

“Oh, the Theater? Don’t worry Kermie, I’m going to call over a giant sponge act and have them mop up all the water. And I already have George cleaning the seating area now so that way our customers won’t get wet when they walk in.”

Worry melted from Kermit like snow in the afternoon sun. “That’s good to hear Miss Piggy, I’m glad that you have everything under control.”

“Of course, moi will simply ask for a little repayment smooch when a certain frog comes back to the Theater.”

“You want a kiss from Robin?”

Crack went the phone on the other end- he’d have to replace it. “No. Well, yes, if you’re not willing to do it, moi am willing to work my way up if needed. Not that it is.”

“Well, would you look at the time! It’s almost time for opening curtains right, so I’ll just let you get too it. Goodbye Miss Piggy-“

“Hey! Wait a minute frog! Don’t you dare hang up that phone!”

Click!

Kermit sighed in relief as he sat back, thankful that he was on a phone, in a trailer, with his nephew, rather then all the way back at Muppet Theaters- Not that he didn’t expect to be karate-chopped into a wall anyways once he got back for being gone for so long.

He hummed, deep in his throat, fingers trailing over the banjo nestled on top of a suitcase. So many songs to sing, so little time, and… well… he wanted to sing them. Looking at Robin curled up in his little bed peacefully sleeping made Kermit remember times from the swamp. Times with his brothers and sisters, times with everyone.

But most of all, it brought up a choking nostalgia that wouldn’t be settled without a song. “Maybe I should call Rowlf and we can play a duet over the phone.”

Kermit smiled at that idea, trying to imagine which instrument Rowlf would pull out for such a thing. A harmonica? A guitar? A trumpet? His trusty piano? Whatever it would be, it would be played, and it would be played well.

Robin stirred again, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. Kermits eyebrows, if he had eyebrows, rose at the sight. What was with the frog and his sleeping patterns? “Robin, is something the matter?”

“I’m just thirsty Uncle Kermit.”

The young frog began to slip out of bed, when Kermit motioned for him to stay put, and got up himself. “You comin’ to bed anytime soon Uncle Kermit?”

“Soon enough- I was just thinking about playing some old tunes.”

“Oh, can I hear?”

“In the morning Robin- In the morning. For now it’s time for young frogs to be asleep- after all you have a big day ahead of you being the new star of the movie.”

“I’m the what?!”
 

outerelf

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Chapter 8: A Quiet Confession

Robin stirred slightly, and Kermit held his breath- neither of them got much sleep last night, Robin too busy panicking, and Kermit too busy trying to calm him down- while fielding calls from the Muppet Theater.

Apparently one night to themselves had the entire place almost falling apart, and the cleanup of the water continued long after the guests had floated out. Which meant that there were a lot of phone-calls to the trailer.

Eventually Kermit, listening to the angry calls of neighbors, unplugged the phone, and tossed it out the window, where it made a rather satisfying thudding noise.

Then it was back into the fray to calm down Robin who was quite literally bouncing off the walls- there were three new dents in the walls that he’d have to get replaced eventually. When he had enough money. Whenever that was.

“Uncle Kermit?”

“Yes Robin?”

“I can’t believe that I’m the star!”

The older frog sighed, torn. On one hand there was the wish to protect him from everything, to make him safe, but at the same time… the theater blood that ran in him told him that he needed to let Robin do this.

“Alright Robin, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. We’re going to hold a mock audition.”

“A mock audition? What for Uncle Kermit?”

“You’ll see. Now then, here’s your script- open it up to page five and read me the first line.”

Confused, the young frog opened up the script, and peered at the first line. “Sweetums lay your ugly head down upon your wretched bed-“

“CUT!”

Robin jumped as Kermit made a stopping motion. “Robin, don’t just read me the line, act it out with your voice!”

“But, Uncle Kermit, aren’t we just practicing?”

“…Robin, how did you do the script with Sweetums?”

“Well, I just read it out like Mom does with a storybook whenever- erm… Like Mom did.”

Kermit caught the hesitation, but stored it at the back of his mind for now. He’d investigate it later. For now- for now Robin had a very, very important lesson to learn about acting.

“Pretty soon you will be practicing lines in front of lots of crewmembers- will you give it your all then?”

“Yes, of course-“

“Then why aren’t you giving it your all now?”

Robin fell silent, looking at his uncle in a mixture of confusion and resentment. The green-toned frog sighed as he sat down in a chair, pulling his banjo into his lap. “Robin, do you know how someone is hired?”

“No, not really.”

“If a person wants to get into show business, they have to audition. When I wanted to create the Theater, I listened to every single one of the acts that came along before I let them into the theater- if it didn’t meet a certain standard, then I wouldn’t allow it in. I’ve turned down some of Fozzies acts, some of Gonzo’s- a few of Miss Piggy’s but then she’d give that look of hers and I’d let it pass.”

Robin quietly sat on the bed, as Kermit strummed the first chord that came to mind. “So Robin, can you show me today what you showed the director yesterday?”

“I think so Uncle Kermit.” Robin stared at the script for a moment longer. “Uncle Kermit… will you help me?”

The frog smiled up at the ceiling- he was now due for a lot more work, getting Robin settled into his roll, Sesame Street, the Theater but…

“Of course Robin. All you have to do is ask.”

-----

Snippets of audio from the location of The Frog Prince:

“I have to pretend I can’t swim?”

-&-

“Jump Robin! Jump higher!” THUD! “Ouch.”

-&-

“So Robin, what do you do for a hobby?”

“I collect stamps.”

“…Ever thought of taking up banjo playing? I know someone who could teach you.”

-&-

“Bake the crackle in the middle of her- huh, what was my line again?”

-&-

“No, no, don’t eat the frog! Help Uncle Kermit!”

“I’m coming!”

-&-

“King Rubert the- oh, wait, erm, can we try that one more time?”

-&-

“Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection~”

“There, there Uncle Kermit, I’m sure they’ll have the pond fixed in no time.”

-&-

“Uncle Kermit, I’m so sleepy.”

“Don’t worry, so am I.”

“Can we just sleep in the pond tonight?”

“Yes. Goodnight.”

“night.”

-&-

“Uncle Kermit?”

“Yes Robin?”

“Tonight’s the last night of filming right?”

“Yes, and I can’t wait to get back to the theater.”

“Well…”

“Yes Robin?”

“Thank you Uncle Kermit. For everything.”

“It was my pleasure Robin.”

“Oh, and Uncle Kermit?”

“Yes?”

“You’re the best uncle any frog could ask for.”


 

outerelf

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Chapter 9:

Muppet Theater buzzed with energy- after two weeks, Kermit was finally coming back! Rat’s scurried on the wall boards, quietly chattering with each other, wondering where on earth Rizzo was.

“I heard he isn’t coming back into the show until Christopher Reeves appears.”

“Like that’d ever happen!”

A single pig peeked out of her dressing room doorway, attempting to see if her favorite frog was back yet. It wouldn’t be good to appear to be waiting- A lady was always fashionably late.

Rowlf pressed down on the keys of the piano, the soft melody of Welcome Back filling the Muppet Theater. Fozzie nervously chewed on his fingers glancing between the door and the notes spread out on the desk. Notes about various sketches including a brand new one Miss Piggy insisted on called Pigs In Space, lay silently waiting for their true owner to arrive.

Paws paused perfectly above the gleaming ivories, ears perked. One paw cupped around a floppy ear, as he listened.

The soft strands of a banjo playing, and two voices singing along drifted to his sharp ears.

Country roads, take me home
To the place I belong
Muppet Theater, Hensonville
Take me home, country roads

Rowlf smiled as he began moving to the door- it was a cataclysm for everyone else.

Miss Piggy slammed the door shut, Fozzie began to run for the back of the stage, Gonzo picked up Camilla and swung her in a circle laughing happily, and many of the backstage members breathed a sigh of relief.

“Kermit! Welcome back.”

“Heigh-ho everyone! We’re back.”

Robin, perched on Kermit’s shoulders nodded in excitement as he held up an film reel. “And we brought along our own copy of the movie while we were at it as well!”

“They already edited it?”

“It wasn’t a very big production Rowlf, it was just to- wait, where’s Fozzie?”

Miss Piggy, upstairs and waiting for her darling Kermit to say her name face palmed. “When something needs done then a woman needs to do it.”

The door was thrown open with a properly theatrical flair, and Miss Piggy descended from her room in a swirl of silk fabric and golden jewels. “Oh, Kermiiieeeee. Do you happen to remember a little mention of a kiss? Your lady awaits!”

Kermit paled, and trembled, as Robin looked at his uncle curiously. A wonderful, horrible idea sprang to his head- “Robin, go give Miss Piggy a kiss on the cheek okay? I gotta go check up on my banjo’s.”

The big frog skedaddled leaving the little frog and the pig staring at each other. “Erm, hello Miss Piggy, I’m Uncle Kermit’s nephew Robin.”

“Oh? Then from now on, call me Aunt Piggy- Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a frog to catch.”

Robin watched as Miss Piggy made a grand exit stage right, after his uncle. Rowlf patted Robin on the head as he quietly laughed, “Don’t worry about those two. I heard you singing back there with Kermit- you got a good singing voice.”

“Thanks!”

“So, when you going back home?”

Robin’s face fell, and he looked down at the ground. Rowlf, sensing he had trodden on sensitive ground, immediately back-tracked. “You know, this place is your home for as long as you need- the Muppet Theater is always happy to bring in new family. Now c’mon kid, Gonzo’s about to perform one of his stunts and you don’t want to miss it.”

“Is it really cool and exciting?”

“More like it ends in a spectacular flop.” Rowlf laughed at his own inside joke as he swept Robin away.

----------

Kermit, a few lipstick kisses still stuck on green felt, snuck a glance at the audience from backstage- although it was the number one rule of what not to do in a theater production, he needed to know where Robin was- and his little nephew was in the front row watching the Theater Production avidly.

The smile on his face faded slightly as he moved to a letter waiting for him- he’d written back home asking about Robin’s situation, and his mother mailed back about a week ago. The frog just never dared open the letter around Robin in fear of what it would have to say.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Dear Kermit,
I am so pleased that you’re doing well and that your theater has been flourishing- we received the tapes of the performances you’ve done, but seeming how we don’t have anything to play them on, we’ve been storing them in the murkiest, muddiest part of the swamp just for you.
You asked about Robin your little nephew from your sister right? Well, I’m not certain where the poor dear is now, but truthfully, his parents leave him with other families a lot as they go traveling the world. I think they might have been near a contaminated pond when they first got poor Robin- he’s smaller then most frogs. And such a dreamer! He reminds me of when you were younger.
I do hope he finds somewhere permanent where he can stay before he becomes permanently scarred. Or scared- there were a couple times he came running to me because where he’d been put at got fed up with his dreaming ways.

The rest of the letter was nothing but fluff and chatter about how other various other family members where doing. Kermit sat back heavily, eyes lingering on the first few paragraphs.

He didn’t understand what his sister was thinking, but… Robin’s clear laughter echoed down the hallways as a skit ended.

Dear Mom,
Thanks for your prompt reply, and the family update. It’s good to hear that everyone is doing well and not chopped up for food.
You mentioned Robin earlier- could you please tell my sister that if she wants to come visit Robin, he’s found his home here at Muppet Theaters.
Yours faithfully,
Kermit.

He sketched out a small banjo beneath, the first stanza to the Rainbow Connection floating out of it, before sealing it in an envelope.

He couldn’t take all day- he had a nephew to take care of after all.

-End-
 

Twisted Tails

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This was a great story you did. I LOVe Robin, Kermit, Foozie, Miss Piggy... all of the Muppets. Ah yes the 1970s the golden age of Muppet Theaters. Good job, outerelf!
 
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