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Robin's Welcome to Muppet Theaters


Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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a/n: Well, I would just like to say, before anyone reads any further, that this is a highly experimental fanfic. I'm mostly experimenting on different voices and while I got some of them, I don't think I got others. So any nitpickings and character voice help you give will be welcomed.



The low grumble of an engine rumbled through the early late afternoon, filling the mostly empty streets with noise. The line of streetlights slowly, one-by-one, flickered on, bathing the streets in a soft yellow light.

The old bus lurched like it was going to break apart at any time, the engine straining just to keep going. All of this was lost on the small frog curled up on the scratchy seat. He kept, close to his chest, the old worn bag.

The bus drivers’ sharp eyes, though slightly dimmed with age, spotted an old theater by the side of the road, it’s lights brightly beckoning any and all visitors. A small stream of various Muppets entered in through the doorway, interspersed by the odd human.

“Hey, Kiddo! This is your stop!”

The small frog stirred weakly, curling up into an even smaller ball, flippers over his non-existent ears. “Just five more minutes ma.”

“I am not your mother! Get up! It’s your stop!”

The frog sat up with a start, already big eyes even bigger. “O-Oh, right! Thank you Mister Bus Driver!”

The frog hopped down from the seat, and in a single bound, was out the open door. With a rattling moan, the door closed, the engine spluttered, and with a dull roar the bus trundled down the road slowly.

The young frog looked up at the theater, wide eyes taking in the run down, worn out place. He pulled off his backpack, and reached in, rummaging around for the piece of paper.

With the letter clutched firmly in one flipper, the small frog cautiously approached the theater. The building loomed above him, long, dark shadows swallowing the small child. A gulp soundlessly made its way down a throat.

“W-Wait, in order to see Uncle Kermit, should I go around to the back first?”

The alleyway, pitch black in the late afternoon light, menacingly taunted him, attempting to lure him further in. The frog took a step towards it, and a step back, eyes flickering from the front door to the alleyway.

A small, golden pool of light shot out from the alleyway, as a grumbling old Muppet dumped offending trash into a nearby trashcan. The frog bolted directly for the Muppet, noticing the yellowish skin, and the fluffy grey hair. “H-Hello. My name is Robin, I’m Kermit’s nephew.” The introduction came out in a single breath.

The janitor leaned against his mop, eyebrows rising. Robin blushed slightly at the look. “S-Sorry, I’m Robin the Frog.” Deep breath, “I’m here to see my uncle Kermit the Frog.”

“You’re one of his nephews huh? Well, it’s not my problem. Find him yourself.”

The curt response wasn’t the most helpful, but at least he wasn’t barred from the theater entirely. “Oh, and Kid? Make certain you don’t get stepped on. It’s hard enough cleaning the floor already without you go and making a mess.”

The janitor walked away, Robin’s question dieing in his throat. “S-Stepped on?”

Slowly he peeked around the corner, head swinging back and forth to check if the coast was clear.

It wasn’t.

Various muppets rushed to and fro frantically, some with arms waving frantically, others carrying various props. He could spot someone with a trumpet, attempting to stuff a cannonball into it, a chicken sitting on top of a table, a dog pushing a piano off to the side, someone who looked like a chef sharpening a knife, a large hulking ogre lifting a beam of wood with at least five muppets on it-

His jaw dropped, as he watched the swirling chaos around him.

Gee, back at the swamp we’re never half so frantic! Everyone is busy-

“And so the guy asks me, ‘Did you take a bath today?’ and I said- why hello there little guy. Aren’t you a little small to be onstage?”

Robin leaped one and a half feet (brand new record!) into the air, heart racing a mile per minute. The bear leapt back with his own startled shriek. The chaos around the corner didn’t even pause- instead it only seemed to grow louder as a giant blue creature rounded the corner.

“Oh, heya Thog!” The bear waved to the giant blue thing- Robin took advantage of the distraction to duck underneath the bigger creature and dart towards the stairs- He could see a flash of green exiting from one of the doors.

Quickly he threaded his way through the chaos, dashing straight for the green. A familiar spiked collar that only one frog ever seemed to have filled his eyes. “Uncle Kermit!”

A green flipper raised in the air froze mid-gesture. Robin stopped at that gesture, worry seeping through him. Would Kermit welcome him with open arms? “I- RobiIIIIINNNNNNN!”

The welcoming tone changed pitch to pure terror as the older frog abruptly found himself airborne. “That’ll teach you to ignore moi when I’m talking.” The haughty voice was punctuated by the door slamming shut before Robin could see who was inside.

Not that Robin particularly cared at this moment. Instead his little froggy legs carried him to his uncle as fast as they could. “K-Kermit! Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just fine.” Woozily, the bigger frog climbed to his feet. “By the way, what are you doing here Robin?”

The smaller frog abruptly remembered the letter he still had clenched in one hand. With a small, sheepish smile he proffered the letter to his uncle. “Mom and Dad told me to give this to you-“


“Okay!” Distractedly Kermit took the letter from Robin.

The small frog shyly asked, “Can I look around?”

“Go ahead, just don’t get hurt.”

Robin instantly scurried off. He could guess what was on that letter, and he wanted to make certain he wouldn’t be found once it was read. Maybe later, after Kermit read it and had a chance to cool his head…

He escaped around the corner into a slightly darker part of the backstage as Kermit’s voice sang out, “Places everyone!”

Robin pressed himself against the wall, just as five Muppets slowly walked past, their voices blending into each other in a wild cacophony.

“Come on Animal!”

“Drum! Drum!”

“And I was so totally like I don’t pose naked even if it is artistic-“

“Whoa, calm down Animal!”

“Heya Rowlf, you playin’ the opening with us again?”

The only non-bright member of the group shook his head. “Nah, I have a sketch later with Fozzie, and the old piano needs some tuning.”

“Didn’t know you could tune pianos.”

“That’s the problem- I can’t!”

The dog parted with the band there, and Robin followed behind, a half-step behind, cautiously watching the Muppet in front of him. Being tossed from place to place had at least taught him something- how to run.


Well-Known Member
Jun 11, 2006
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What a very good start to a story. I really get the feel for being backstage just before showtime and I'm really intrigued. I would love to know why Robin is scared of what Kermit maybe reading in the letter. More please.


Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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a/n: Thanks to those who read, and more special thanks to my one reviewer :big_grin: Hopefully as the story gets rolling, more people will be interested in this. Anyways, on with the story!


Rowlf was well aware that there was a little green frog cautiously following him, but wasn’t very concerned with it. They got lots of strange people in the theater- even for Muppets. No doubt the little guy was backup for a song that Kermit would be singing later.

The gleaming piano, slightly off key, but solid nevertheless, was waiting for his attention. Whatever miserable amount of tuning attention he could give it. But first…

He settled into the seat easily, ignoring the frog as it settled into a seat in the furthest corner of the room. A press of ivory keys, and Rowlf sang along softly.

I'll admit I split bananas,
Take Easter eggs and make them dye.
But I never harmed an onion
So why should they make me cry?

The frog swayed in time to the piano, eyes bright and curious as he moved a few seats closer, attempting to get a closer look.

Rowlf half-turned from the keyboard, his paws doing all the work of hitting the right keys. “Hey there kid! Want to come up close?”

The frog blushed bright green- it was probably a good thing he knew Kermit so well, otherwise he’d never of spotted it. Green was hard to spot on green after all. “N-No, it’s fine.”

“Aww, c’mon kid. I won’t bite unless you’re a mailman.”

The frog actually scurried back a seat at that. The music paused at that scurrying away, and Rowlf frowned slightly. The frog scooted a little further back. “Don’t worry, I’m a domesticated dog- besides, my bark is worse then my bite- just ask Jimmy Dean! I bit him three times and he didn’t even flinch!”

That seemed to reassure the frog as he crept closer. Rowlf, remembering good old Jimmy Dean, “Ahh, I still miss working with him, even though it’s been five years… Now it's 1975 and my fan letters have just about dried up.”

The dog sighed, the tune coaxed out of the piano taking on a slightly more longing, wistful tone. ”Do you not like working here?” It was a question Robin wanted to ask him, but didn’t dare.

It’s time to play the music
It’s time to light the lights
It’s time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!

The opening strands of music caught their attention, as Kermit’s soft voice drifted through the walls, unintelligible. “Well, what act are you here for?” Rowlf asked idly, brought out of old memories.

“Oh, I-I’m not part of any act. I’m here to visit Uncle Kermit.”

The piano music stopped then, and tuning forgotten, Rowlf turned to the small frog. “You’re one of Kermit’s nephews? I heard him talk about you guys a few times before- there’s what… three or four thousand of you guys?”

“Erm, yeah. I’m from Kermit’s forty-fourth sister.” Frog relationships could often be confusing- even for other frogs. Rowlf nodded slowly as he turned back to the piano, plinking a single key. The slightly off key sound floated in the air, and Rowlf began to pull himself up over the top of the piano.

“Hey, could you do me a favor kiddo? Press the middle C key.”

“…The what?” It came out more of a squeak then a question, but Rowlf heard it nonetheless.

“Middle C key. White one, right next to the D key.”

“Which keys are those?”

One paw extracted itself from inside the piano to plink a key. “That’s the C key. C, D, E, F, G, A, and then B. Just keep pressing down on it until I can get it where it should be-“

“Fozzie! You’re up! Fozzie!”

The bear from earlier went rushing past, rubber chickens streaming out from a hat onto the floor behind him. “Coming Kermiiiiiittttt! Ouch!”

Robin’s flipper came down solidly on the key that Rowlf had pointed out as his head turned to watch the bear fly by. The dog yelped in surprise as the rubber hammer flew in a direct line straight for his nose.

Rowlf fell back, clutching his nose. The small frog scrambled to the side, barely missing being crushed as the bigger dog landed heavily on the wooden floor. “Oooh, officer! It wazzan’t me!”

The paw being waved in air flopped backwards, while little Gonzo stars danced above his head. He could hear shuffling off to right, and a cold flipper being placed against his forehead, but it was all ignored in favor of the pain. A small flipper shook his shoulder frantically, chasing some of the stars away.


“Are you alright?” Worry seeped through that voice, as the hands finally stopped shaking him.

“Yeah, just saw my life flash before my eyes for a second there.” The dog groaned as he slowly sat up. “From now on, no more tuning pianos.”

“Oh, well, I should probably get going.” The small frog tossed a look over his shoulder, as Rowlf could’ve sworn he heard a screech from Kermit. “It was nice meetingyou,goodbye!”

In a surprising display of speed, the frog took off down the hallway, dodging curtains and chickens. Interestingly enough, he was going in the opposite direction of Kermit. Rowlf didn’t get much time to think about, when Kermit’s distracted voice yelled, “Rowlf! Fozzie! You two are up next! Get into position!”

“Okay Kermit!” Rowlf picked himself off the floor, pushing the piano on wheels into position. “You got a cute nephew by the way.”


Kermit cradled his head in his hands, his little froggy mind racing thirty hops a minute. He had read the letter, and found he didn't like what it was saying. Why would they send Robin here? For how long? Why didn’t they tell me? Where are they? Where’s Robin? How does he feel about this? Where am I going to put him?

Fozzie trooped past worriedly looking over his cards, while Rowlf, already in position, began to play the music. First things first. I need to find Robin.

Kermit pulled himself to his feet, dodging a small group of rats, and George’s mop. Sweetums, holding a piece of wood at least three times the size of Kermit, head slowly swung towards the frog. “Kermit, something the matter?”

“Yes, I’m looking for my nephew, Robin. If you see a little frog, could you tell me? I don’t want him to wander into the upper theater.”

“Oh, no. I’ve heard there’s a ghost up there.”

“A ghost? Sheesh.” Kermit shook his head as he moved further into the theater. “Hey, Fozzie, until I find my nephew it’s up to you to keep the show running!”

“M-Me? Bu-But Kermit!”

“No buts Fozzie! I’m sure you’ll do just fine!” The airy reply was tossed over a shoulder as Kermit forged deeper into the theater, eyes sweeping the darkness for his nephew. Ruefully he reflected on the fact that it would be much easier if he knew his nephew just a little more. But it was hard to make time for all of his nieces and nephews!

“Robin? You here? I need to talk to you for a minute-“


“What! Aw, Fozzie! You ruin all my fun! Come on, this’ll be great!”

“Furst yuoo teke-a zee kneeffe-a, und huld it feemly in oone-a hund. Bork bork bork! Zeen, yuoo reeese-a it ebufe-a zee heed und coot ooffff zee leg furst-“

Kermit shot one last look into the backstage, before running to the theater stage to put a tragedy in the making to an end. Robin would have to come later. Much later.


Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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Chapter 3: Welcome to the Boarding House

Four sketches, five cut-short looking for lost nephews, and three explosions from the Muppet Labs, Kermit was about ready to call it quits. Luckily for him, there was only one more sketch, which was handled by Dr Bunsen, and then the show would close.

“Hey, has anyone seen my nephew Robin?”

Negative’s and nopes flew around those in the main room, with a few scattered mentions of seeing him earlier on in the night. But nobody had seen him recently. Which was extremely worrisome. “Yeesh, I already lost him? But- But I only had him for two minutes!”

Kermit collapsed into a chair, trying and failing to not panic. “M-Maybe Sweetums has found him.”

Sweetums, in one of the further back rooms, was currently pondering his predicament. He had found the little froggy that Kermit had mentioned awhile back- but the little frog was currently curled up on top of a pile of (hopefully) clean blackout curtains. He was clutching a small backpack to his chest, and nearly snoring.

“Aww, how cute. Sleep tight little guy.”

Despite the fact that these particular blackout curtains probably reached into the low hundreds of pounds, Sweetums lifted them and the frog into his arms, taking care not to disturb the sleeping occupant.

Within moments, blackout curtains and nephew were laid on top of Kermit’s lap. “Thank you Sweetums for my nephew. Now if you’ll kindly get the curtain off me before my legs fall off, I’d be much obliged!”

“Sorry boss.”

Nephew and curtains were settled onto the floor this time. Kermit sighed in relief, head flopping back. Okay, so he now had his nephew, who was soundly asleep, the busses were closed… “I guess I’ll just have to carry him home. I wonder what he did to wear himself out so much.”

“I heard him running around earlier saying something about a ghost. Don’t worry about it Kermit.” The airy explanation came, from all people, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. “Now then, about me getting some assistance down in the lab-“

“Erm, later Dr. Honeydew. Right now I gotta get Robin here to bed.”

Kermit grunted as he lifted the small frog into his arms. Fozzie looked thoughtful, “But, Kermit, I don’t think that we have any extra rooms in our boarding house!”

The frog stared at the bear, as each of the Muppet theater cast fell quiet, trying to remember the layout of the large house they had taken over. “I- Isn’t there a smaller room up near the attic?”

“Maybe in the attic, but we don’t want him to become a addict!”



The small green frog stirred weakly. If he had eyelids, then he’d probably be squeezing them tight, but he didn’t. And it was still dark. Wha…happened? The sleepy thought threaded its way into his mind, as he slowly sat up.

The last thing he could remember was a bright blue Muppet that was some kind of ghost laughing at him, and then he hid in a pile of curtains… and apparently fell asleep. He sat bolt upright, stricken by the sudden thoughts. Oh no, I fell asleep! What time is it? Is the play over, did Uncle Kermit leave me?

He scrambled up to his feet, eyes darting around the room.

Glowing numbers from an old alarm clock soothed the worries. He wasn’t forgotten about like that one time, and he most definitely wasn’t left behind like several times before.

Panic calmed, he actually managed to look around the room- it was empty, that much was certain even in the darkness. There was no snoring croaks or anything like that. Not even so much as a low ribbit.

Slowly he slipped out of bed, cold feet hitting the surprisingly warm carpet. He didn’t dare turn on a light- instead he slowly made his way to the barely silhouetted window, hands slowly reaching for the curtains.

A deep breath, and the curtains twitched open to a smoothly paved street, with neatly manicured lawns. A bus was parked just a few feet away- if he leaned out of his window and bent down far, he could probably make touch it.

“This-This is so cool! I can’t believe that this is what life outside of the swamp looks like!” He leaned slightly out of the window- Just in time to see a rat go flying out of the window. “…Huh?”

“Sorry Rizzo!”

“I’m outta here! Don’t expect me back until 1980!”

“What? But Rizzo!”

Too late. The small frog watched as the rat scurried away, muttering darkly about bad dreams, spacemen, and movie deals. “Aww, now I gotta get a new roommate.” The windows slammed shut.

Robin was left staring out of the window all on his lonesome, wondering where exactly he was. It was still dark, and the numbers on the clock clearly stated that it was somewhere around four in the morning.

It was far too early in the morning for any self-respecting frog to be up.


But apparently not to early for a really hungry stomach. “Gee, I hope that there’s some good bugs around here. And moreover, I hope that Uncle Kermit doesn’t mind me helping myself to some of the bugs around here.”

He leaned against the window, staring up at the sky… a sky strikingly lacking in bugs. “Aww, c’mon, just a few of them! I just want to eat a small snack.”

“Sneck?! I cun meke-a fuud! Bork, bork, bork!”

Robin darted away from the window as a particularly loud voice split the night air. A pounding came shortly after, followed by a crotchy voice snapping, “Aww, give it a rest you fake chef!”



“Huh? Penguins?”

“Everyone, quiet down please! We’ll disturb the neighbors!”

“The neighbors?! Try disturbing us!”

“Aww, keep it down, would ya all? Our band has a concert early tomorrow!”

“WHAT? I thought I told you all to keep tomorrow open! We’re supposed to paint the theater!”

“Aw man. C’mon Kermit-“

“Excuuuuseeee moi, but moi has an important interview to do tomorrow. So shut it!”

“Not you too Miss Piggy!”

“Zip it frog!”

“Heya guys, this is no time to be awake. Not even for dogs.”

“QUIET!” The powerful roar echoed through the house, jolting the heavy sleepers awake with a start. “ANIMAL WANT SLEEP! SLEEP! GO TO SLEEP!”

Silence fell on the house for a brief, blessed second. It was startlingly interrupted by a sleepy voice asking, “What’d I miss man?”

“SLEEEEPPPPPPPP!” The drawn out roar made the very house shake.

The sound of glass shattering came only a few seconds later, as a startled voice asked, “My goodness, what is going on?”


“Oh my, what an-“


“What? Explosion?”

“Oh! Did someone say explosion?” The insane laughter of a Muppet echoed in the quiet neighborhood for a long time after, interspersed with something blowing up.

Robin decided that it was perhaps better to stay in bed.


Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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Chapter 4: The Truth is Out

Kermit flopped into the chair at the head of the table, as singed, grumbling Muppets took their seats. The Swedish Chef, his floppy hat half burnt, grumbled as he began to prepare breakfast.

Crazy Harry, tied up and tossed next to Animal, was finally silent. And not blowing stuff up. Which was always good.

A froggy green head buried into froggy flippers. “I’m forgetting something, I’m forgetting something, I know I’m forgetting som…eth…ing… ROBIN!”

The frog took the stairs in a single leap- a quite impressive display of athletics, honed from years of doing his own stunts. Three foot tall green stunt-doubles were not high in demand for some odd reason.

The door to the small room in the attic flew open, as Robin looked up from a book he was reading. “Uncle Kermit! Is it safe to go down yet?”

“Yes. Yes it is. Sorry that I couldn’t come up to you earlier-“

“It’s alright Uncle Kermit. I don’t mind.” Softer, soft enough to be almost missed by the older frog, “I’m used to being forgotten about.”

Kermit sank down next to Robin, leaning against the bed. His eyes stared at the old, small room. It was dirty, there were cracks in the walls, the window covered in grime- it wasn’t the most welcoming room. “Sorry about the room Robin. We didn’t get much warning to clean up.”

“It’s okay Uncle Kermit.” Again, the voice was guarded. Kermit didn’t quite get it- at the swamp Robin was quieter then most yes, but he wasn’t this withdrawn. But maybe he was mistaken…

A low grumble from two stomachs filled the air, and Kermit brought himself to his feet. “Shall we go downstairs and see what the Swedish Chef has cooked for breakfast?”


“That’s right, you haven’t had any human food before, have you?”

“N-Not really Uncle Kermit.”

“Well then, this will be a learning experience. But it’s best to get used to the Chef’s cooking- there aren’t many bugs around here.”


“Well, there is one bug hunting ground, but a group of local frogs make their home there. In exchange for leaving the grounds alone, I can hire them as backup singers for half-price.”


“No worries, I’m sure if you ask they’ll let you get some bugs there as well.”

“You think so Uncle Kermit?” A note of wistfulness crept into the young frogs voice. Homesickness? Kermit could remember when he had left the swamp for the first time- as fun adventure as it had been, it had also been slightly lonely, not having the thousands of his brothers and sisters around him.

“Of course Robin. Now, let’s go get some breakfast.”


Breakfast, to the surprise of everyone, was actually edible. Not delicious, but edible. Robin picked at his food, and Kermit leaned across to whisper, “I’ll get us some better breakfast after the Chef leaves.”

“Naw, it’s alright Uncle Kermit. I was just wondering if I could explore the area. Please?”

“W-Well, I don’t know…” Kermit trailed off, remembering just how many close calls there had been to a middle-school science class. He shivered at the memories. “It’s a bit of a rough neighborhood around the school. You know, with science teachers and all.”

“Science teachers? I’ll be good Uncle Kermit, I promise. I just want to take a look around.”

“Well… I suppose if you stay away from the School District it should be fine.” Kermit gave permission reluctantly- He’d seen enough frog leg stands to last him for life- and curious interviewers saying that they’d dissected frogs before didn’t help. At all. And how many times had be nearly mauled by toddlers? “Oh, we got a TV in the living room if you want to watch. Just ignore Statler and Waldorf in the chairs.”

“Okay Uncle Kermit.”

Robin stuffed the rest of the meal into his mouth, swallowed, and began to race out the door, dodging rats, rabbits, and the reclusive raccoons. “Hey, Robin, come back before it gets dark, okay?”

Too late. Robin was far out of earshot by the time his uncle yelled the words, racing off towards where the river was vaguely located- hopefully he’d be able to find some good frog friends out there.

“Hey Kermit. Are we going to start painting the theater yet? Too much longer and it won’t be dried by opening time.”

“Oh, erm, certainly Sweetums. But before we go, I want to have a talk with the Electric Mayhem.”


“Cool your jets Animal. What is it boss frog?”

“Could you keep an eye out for Robin? I’m a little worried if he gets back before I do he might be-“

“EHEM! Excuse me, but I would think that a motley band such as The Electric Mayhem is not suitable for doing anything as important as looking after a child-“

“Oh, so you’re volunteering? Thanks Sam. Alright everyone! To the theater!”

“Wait, what?!”


And Kermit never saw his nephew again.

“Hey, that’s not true! Now shoo! Italic narrators don’t belong here!” Kermit flapped a hand at the air, and grumbling, the italic narrator departed.

Kermit glanced up to the clock that read 11:12 P.M., and looked back to the door, perfectly balanced on top of Robin’s bed. One month was more then long enough for Robin to overcome any shyness he felt to the members of the Muppet Theater.

Instead he had seen Robin for the grand total of three times. Each of them in the early morning when Robin had appeared for breakfast, then vanished like the morning dew.

But… it was nearing summer, and it was almost time for Frog School. And Kermit had no idea when exactly Robin was supposed to go back to the swamp.

The door creaked softly, as a small head poked around the wood. “Robin. You’re finally back home.”

The young frog froze in the act of opening the door. Kermit sprang to his feet. “It’s rather late for you to be coming home, isn’t it?”

Robin gulped, eyes darting from his uncle to the door. Kermit could already see the headlines.

Young Frog Runs Away From Home

Young Frog Caught on the Wrong Side of the Pond. Is It Because of Lilypad Life?

He swung his head back and forth, dispelling the unwanted images. “You see Robin, pretty soon I’m going to start filming a movie, and I want to know when your parents will come to pick you up so that way I know whether I should leave you here or take you with me.”

Now Robin’s face was practically consumed with guilt. “Well… I don’t know when mom and dad will be here to pick me up Uncle Kermit.”

Panicking was not a viable option, although it looked better with every passing second.


Well-Known Member
Jun 11, 2006
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I'm still very interested in the story and reading it. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It's nice and I'm very intrigued by the details you haven't included yet. Will be waiting for more when you have it.


Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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I'm still very interested in the story and reading it. Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. It's nice and I'm very intrigued by the details you haven't included yet. Will be waiting for more when you have it.
I'm glad that someone likes it :big_grin: I've got it all done, I'm just pacing myself inbetween posts. And like I said, this is more of an experiment then anything so its kind of rough. Hopefully my next story is better.


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Jun 29, 2011
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Chapter 5: Not Funny

Kermit gaped at his nephew. “You don’t know when?”

Robin shook his head miserably, and looked up at his uncle hopefully, gesturing frantically, “I can stay out of the way, I promise Uncle Kermit! I won’t get into any trouble and you’ll barely notice that I’m here-“


Robin stopped dead, wilting at his Uncles quiet voice. “No, you are not going to vanish. You’re my nephew. And you know what? This crazy place always has room for one more. So don’t worry about a thing.”

“Really Uncle Kermit?” The voice was small and frail, an almost silent sigh of relief filling the room.

“That’s right. And because of that, I think we need to start establishing some rules- mainly bed-times.”

“WHAT! I’m old enough to not need a bed time!”

“Nonsense. Everyone has a bedtime. Especially Animal.”


“…You’ll meet him properly later. Anyways, it’s time for bed Robin.”

“But I’m not sleepy!”

Kermit, with a lot of practice from his extended family, knew just how to deal with this. A song. And what song should be sung today?

Ignoring protests, he tucked Robin into bed, and pulled a banjo out of nowhere. It was rather handy.

Hush a bye, baby bye,​
We’re a family​

A level below, a harmonica picked up the strands of music, floating through the wooden floor boards.

I’ll try to take my time with you​
And slowly let you see​

More instruments joined the harmony, pouring up from below, easily interweaving and picking out their own counterpoints, in a soft melody perfect for sleep.

That we’re a family​
With feelings too,​
When I wait late at night​
It means that I love you​

The last notes lingered in the cool night air, and Robin was already snoring. Kermit smiled at that perfect smile, and leaned over to place a soft kiss against his nephews temple. “Good night Robin. I’ll see you in the morning.”

The light clicked off, the door closed, and the Muppet Boarding Home settled back into sleep.

Kermit walked down the hallway, heading for bed, when one door creaked open. Rowlf, still holding a harmonica, leaned against the door. “Well, how’d it go?”

“Quite well I suppose.” All of the earlier, suppressed panic was coming back now that he no longer had an audience to play too. “Apparently my sister and her husband have taken off and abandoned Robin here. What should I do? What should I do? The Theater is no place for a kid!”

“I thought we were supposed to appeal to all audiences.”


In full panic, Kermit did the Kermit ArmFlail©. “I’m not qualified to raise a child! I don’t even have a girlfriend!”

“Excuse Moi? You have moi, don’t you?”

“Now look here Piggy, I don’t have time for this! I have a movie to film, a News Reporter Job on Sesame Street, and a nephew that’s been abandoned at my doorstep like Superman!”

“Ahahaha, you know Kermie, I could’ve sworn for a moment that you said you didn’t have time for Moi. It had better be wrong.”

“Or what?” One day Kermit was going to learn not to ask.

“Or I’m going to decorate the hallway wall with a brand new froggy print. Ahahaha.”

Rowlf held up a paw, interjecting in the argument. “Anyways Kermit, what are you going to do?”

“Take him with me to the filming of the Frog Prince. And then I guess I’ll start filming lectures for Sesame Street- or whatever the writer want. Yeesh. I need to find some way of sorting this all out.”

The green frog sighed as he leaned up against a wall. The dog patted him on the shoulder. “If you ever need help, we’re here for you Kermit.”

“Thanks Rowlf.”


The morning began like usual. One smashed alarm clock, one alarm clock out the window, and one explosion from Crazy Harry’s room. Robin stretched in bed, mentally chronicling where he should go for the day to stay out of Uncle Kermit’s way…

“AH! That’s right! Uncle Kermit has already found out!”

No more lonely days spent with nothing more then a book in a shaded corner near a river! No more forging for food! No more tiptoeing around the house to keep from being spotted by Uncle Kermit! For once he could go outside-


“No Animal! NOOOOO!”


On second thought, it was probably best to stay in bed. But he had promised Uncle Kermit-

“Robin, if you want some food, come get it now! Wait, Gonzo! Don’t feed Animal yet!”

“Why no-waaargh!” Crack!

“Erm, um, Gonzo?”

“Wow, that was so cool! Hey Animal want to be in an act with me?”

Robin cautiously approached the kitchen table, half dreading what he’d see- normally he’d be gone by now, yelling goodbye to Uncle Kermit. But now that he was actually staying…

“Hey, Kermit, when you leaving for that movie of yours?”

“Hmm, oh, I’ll be leaving later today. Robin! Do you need to pack? The movie location is a bit far- closer to Sesame Street actually, so we won’t be able to come back soon.”

“Uhh, Kermit? About these notes for opening? Am I supposed to introduce our guest star first, or am I supposed to do the opening song first?” The nervous brown bear looked like a wreck- probably because he was.

“Fozzie! How many times do I have to tell you? First introductions, then opening number. I’m really beginning to think leaving you all to do this film is a bad idea.”

“It is, so stay here Kermit!”


“Uncle Kermit, duck!”

“Huh?” A duck slammed into Kermit’s face, making the frog topple backwards. The Swedish Chef came after it in a single heartbeat, waving a cleaver the size of Robin. Robin decided that valor was for the better people, and ducked behind his uncle.

“Erm, Uncle Kermit, can we go soon?”

“Yes. Just let me pack my banjo, and we can get some food on the way.”

Kermit shook his head, muttering under his breath about how he wasn’t certain if the theater would survive, when a wild red-haired Muppet patted him on the shoulder, gold tooth winking in the light. “Don’t worry Kermit- at the very least we can’t get any worse. Who knows, we actually might attract some Star-power while your gone!”

He laughed loudly as he walked away, leaving behind two confused frogs. “I think he started a pun, but then got sidetracked.”




Well-Known Member
Jun 29, 2011
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Chapter 6: Frog Prince Start!

The set was extremely busy, people rushing frantically to and fro in panic, some carrying props, some carrying costumes, others carrying other characters, be it human or Muppet. Robin watched them run to and fro, safely tucked into the watery pond provided for all frogs.

Kermit was in the midst of the storm, looking like he was arguing with the director, pointing at different parts of the script and shaking his head at it. The director looked frustrated as Kermit glanced at a clock, and gestured towards the pond.

Robin sat up as straight as he could with his slightly hunched back as Kermit made his way towards him, dodging the chaos easily, but in a slightly frantic manner. “Robin! I’ve gotta go and film some segments for Sesame Street. So be a good frog and wait here okay? We should be done in three hours.”

“Okay Uncle Kermit. Is that a copy of the script.”

“Yeah, here you can read it. Just don’t let it get damaged- I won’t be able to pay for an extra copy.”

The green frog sighed as he remembered the state of the Muppet Theater’s finances. Maybe he should ask Count vonCount to help him out? All the numbers made his head spin.

Robin eagerly took the script from his uncles’ flippers, and Kermit was struck by a sudden thought- Is Robin… a Acting Muppet?

There were two kinds of Muppets in the world- the ones that hid away and chose to live their life away from Humans and the spotlight completely; and then there were the acting Muppets who thrived in the spotlight, who traveled the world of Humans with a love of life.

Robin first seemed like the type to hide away, but perhaps- “Hey, Robin, could you do me a favor? Sweetums still needs to practice his lines as the Ogre- could you practice with him a little?”

A hide-away Muppet would refuse. Robin perked up immediately and nodded. “Sure Uncle Kermit.”

Yeup, he needed to get Robin out onto some sort of stage, sometime. Soon, before Robin’s enthusiasm died away into quiet acceptance. His mouth opened, as he glanced upwards. His jaw dropped. “I’m late! See you Robin!”

Robin waved goodbye to the retreating back, nose already buried in the script, eyes drawn to the part of the prince- there were little margin notes of Kermit absolutely refusing to turn into a prince at the end. The princess needed to turn into a frog. In even smaller handwriting under that, was the tiny note of, ‘or turn into a pig.’

Curiosity flittered for a brief second across Robin’s face before he shrugged. Uncle Kermit could be attracted to another species- it was fine with him. But…Who was Sweetums anyways?


It took a surprisingly short amount of time to discover who exactly Sweetums was- he was the big guy that he vaguely remembered seeing around the house, that all of the cast, crew, and directors avoided.

Robin approached cautiously, holding the script close to his chest as the large ogre swallowed down lunch- metal box and all. A self-satisfied burp came from the ogre as he leaned back, patting his stomach.

Robin shrank back a step. “Hey Robin, could you do me a favor? Sweetums still needs to practice his lines as the Ogre- could you practice with him a little?” Kermit’s soft reminder floated in the air.

I can do this. I can. He’s depending on me to do this, so I can do it. The small child’s back straightened as he approached the ogre, now sitting back and patting his full stomach. “Excuse me? Mister Sweetums?”

One giant eye opened to fixate Robin with a beady stare. It took every ounce of courage to stand there- or maybe he was too scared to move. Either way he weakly continued, “Uncle Kermit asked me to help you practice your lines?”

Sweetums sat up straight, the idea of a nap forgotten. “Really? That would be great! For some reason nobody else is willing to practice with me.”

Invisible tension in Robin’s small body trickled out as the ogre quite happily walked off to retrieve his script. “That wasn’t so scary after all.”

Sweetums came back holding what looked like a tiny piece of paper clutched in oversized paws. Robin smiled up at the giant, as he flipped to the first page of the script that contained Sweetums- It was the flashback scene.

“To show myself through and through/
I chanced upon a forest glen/
And there I met, an ogre!”

“Ha, ha!” Sweetums roar was backed by him shaking an imaginary club.

“His teeth were long I feared to tell with muscles strong dreadful smell/ He looked at me, he wished me dead/ and then I said-“

Robin paused there, switching to another part of the script, one where Sweetums actually had lines other then pantomine. “Ahh yes,” He cackled softly, pitching his voice higher, “He makes a cute little frog, don’t he?”

“Awww, yes.” Sweetums didn’t even have to glance at the script to know what his next parts were.

The small frog and large ogre made an unlikely duo as they traded lines, and Robin found himself playfully ducking blows as Sweetums found a proper prop club, and swung it around.

“Sweetums lay your ugly head down upon your wretched bed. Close your eyes and go to sleep, rest your hulking heap.” The young clear voice sang out, catching a few of the cast members curiosity, as they dared to creep out of hiding to watch the two play-act.

Sweetums, at the end of the sleep song, obligingly fell backwards, and Robin laughed as he hopped on top of Sweetum’s broad chest, slightly delighted by contrast between the rough texture of the cloth, and soft fur.

The ogre made a single swipe at the frog- Robin bounded into the air, dodging the hand. The large Muppet sat up quickly, throwing Robin off balance.

With a startled yelp be tumbled backwards into large hands that carefully caught him. Stunned, Robin sat there for a second, as the ogre lifted him up- “What am I, a parrot?” Robin muttered without sting as he pulled himself onto Sweetums shoulder.

“I got some prop-building to do- we can practice lines together like this if you hang on.”

Robin’s eyes went wide as he realized just how high up he was, and he quickly grabbed for a handhold- rough, coarse hair rubbed against flippers. He clung to the hair for a few moments as Sweetums began to walk towards the construction of the small castle.

As the ogre began to climb the stairs, for one brief, glorious second, Robin could see the entire set spread out before him. The steep walls of the castle give way to a small wooded garden, with a beautiful pond full of lily pads shimmered softly in the sunlight. A few flowers floated on the water, not quite blooming yet- Older frogs then him happily splashed through the water, playing water games.

Robin smiled slightly as he watched them playing mud sliding, when Sweetums climbed a step higher.

In a second it was as if the illusion was shattered- he could see the flat, one-dimensional props leaning against a wall, the people running back and forth to create a tide of work. But at the same time- “So, what’s my line again?”

Quickly Robin snuck a peek at the script- he was having a much better time remembering Sir Robin’s lines then any others.

In the shadows, a human man watched the two practice lines together, smiling slightly as he regarded the script in his hands. Kermit didn’t want to turn into a human did he? Well then… he’d just have to get another frog to play the part.

And he had a good idea of who exactly that frog could be.