Rainbow Connection Parody

[Don'tLiveonMoon]

I've been on a parody-writing kick lately, and today I decided to write one to the tune of Rainbow Connection, from the perspective of Willy Wonka. Enjoy!

The Perfect Confection

Why are there so many makers of candy,
Of chocolate, jawbreakers and gum?
Candy is tasty but kind of a waste;
See, your dentist would say that it's dumb.
So I've been told many times by my father,
But he's not much fun, now is he?
Someday we'll find it, the perfect confection,
Those round Oompa-Loompas and me.

Who said that rotten teeth are to be avoided?
They make your mouth full of gold.
I say, the stickier and harder the candy,
The more likely it gets sold.
Kids don't mind holes in bicuspids and molars,
And I am inclined to agree.
Someday we'll find it, the perfect confection,
Those round Oompa-Loompas and me.

Keeping a kid from his sweets
Is nasty, cold-hearted and tragic...

Have you been forced to eat a gaggy green veggie?
I feel so sorry for you.
Have they insisted that candy is harmful?
I do not think that could be true.
I've eaten too many sweets to believe it;
A chocolatier's what I must be.
Someday we'll find it, the perfect confection,
Those round Oompa-Loompas and me.

Erin

 

[Kimp the Shrimp]

ex cellent

 

[MartyMuppets]

You have a talent for parodies I think Erin.
Very well done

 

[Sgt Floyd]

As Mr Burns always says...

Eeeexcellent

(bleh, couldnt think of a better joke/quote XD)

 

[Don'tLiveonMoon]

Glad y'all like it!
Erin

 

[redBoobergurl]

That's great Erin! Wow, I really like it!

 

[Java]

That's really good.

 

[roastnebrie]

cool song! I think at the nest Muppetfest someone should get Mr. Whitmire to perform it!

 

[Don'tLiveonMoon]

Here is another, for I Love Trash. The speaker in this one is all me; I am cheese's most ardent advocate!

I Love Cheese

Well, Camembert carries a certain appeal,
And Gouda is good to digest with a meal.
Just what do those holes in the Swiss cheese reveal?
I love it because it's cheese!

Oh, I love cheese.
Anything gorgeously gloppy and oozy.
'Long as it's cheese, I don't need to be choosy.
Oh, I love cheese!

Tortillas are better with Cheddar, I say,
And Muenster's worth munching throughout the whole day.
Oh, I would be blue if you threw Blue away.
I love it because it's cheese!

Oh, I love cheese.
Anything gorgeously gloppy and oozy.
'Long as it's cheese, I don't need to be choosy.
Oh, I love cheese!

I'd never say no to a nice Provolone,
And Parmesan's perfect on pizzas. I'm known
To eat a whole bag of Cojack on my own.
I love it because it's cheese!

Oh, I love cheese.
Anything gorgeously gloppy and oozy.
'Long as it's cheese, I don't need to be choosy.
Oh, I love, I love, I love cheese!
Erin

 

[BEAR]

Very funny.