Pre-Wedding Jitters ~ A Series of Short Muppet Fan-Fiction Stories

[The Count]

Take it up with the frog babe.
Pepe: Jes, I am wanting the celeries too okay?

 

[AnimatedC9000]

... Okay, guys.

Seriously, Prawnie, when's the next chapter coming? I don't think I can distract them for much longer.

~ AnimatedC

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh good grief.

Well... the short answer is it's not coming tonight...

The long answer is... it's not coming tonight because I'm insanely tired and can't focus on my homework, let alone a story long enough to accomplish anything with it. I'd say the next time you can expect another chapter of this or any fan-fic with my name attached to it is Friday at the latest. Thursday as an extremely low possibility.

...I prefer the short answer.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

I know you do...

Wish me luck with my test tomorrow and on Friday. Science AND social studies, man.

~ AnimatedC (wishing luck to all the testers out there)

 

[theprawncracker]

I know you do...

Wish me luck with my test tomorrow and on Friday. Science AND social studies, man.

~ AnimatedC (wishing luck to all the testers out there)

Urgh, yes, I wish you MUCH better luck than I had on my physics test that I got a... erm... a D on... *cough*

 

[Beauregard]

~ AnimatedC (wishing luck to all the testers out there)

When Dr Bunsen Prawniedew, it's defiantly testers that need luck...BEAKER, GET IN HERE!

 

[AnimatedC9000]

That's Ceaker. Nurse AnimatedCeaker, or Nurse AnimatedC. Or Ceaker.

What... wait. *clears throat* Mee mee mee?

 

[AnimatedC9000]

Science test done. Social studies test tomorrow. Please update by tomorrow, Prawnie.

~ AnimatedC

 

[theprawncracker]

Afternoon at the Muppet Theater was anything but normal. However, normalcy was hardly ever anywhere to be seen within anything with the name "Muppet" in it's title; thus making abnormality normal and normalcy abnormal.

For the life of him, Kermit the Frog couldn't figure out how that had happened.

An obviously flustered teenager came running backstage, he shouted something and then quickly ducked down underneath a flying chicken (talk about oxymoron) that skimmed his orange tufts of hair. "I said not to the throw the chickens!" he shouted out onto the stage as he pulled himself up from the floor and dusted off his green "The Muppet Show" jacket.

Kermit gulped as this ensued. "Problem, Scooter?" the frog asked.

Scooter the go-fer exhaled deeply. "No, not a problem, chief," Scooter said, "I've got it all under control!"

"Yes it looks like it," Kermit said sarcastically. "Are you sure you don't want my help?"

Scooter shook his head. "No way boss," he said, "if you're becoming a married frog someone's gonna have to hold down the fort around here, and I figure I'd better start learning now!"

Kermit scrunched up his face. "What makes you think you'll be holding down the fort, Scooter? I'm not planning on going anywhere," Kermit said.

"You'd better not tell Miss Piggy that, boss," Scooter said. "From what I hear she's pretty set on a honeymoon somewhere tropical."

"Scooter!" Kermit scolded the go-fer. "Of course I'll be going on a honeymoon, but after that I'm not going anywhere."

Scooter put his hand on Kermit's shoulder. "You don't have to play dumb with me, Kermit," Scooter said, "I know what happens on honeymoons."

Kermit's face went through a myriad of expressions in about a second. "Y--you do?" Kermit gulped, he was certainly not the one to be having this talk with Scooter.

"Of course," Scooter said, "timeshares."

Kermit did a double take. "Hubba-hubba-wha?" the flabbergasted frog forced free from his mouth.

"Mm-hm," Scooter said with a nod. "Couples go to these nice places and end up in a timeshare meeting with a deal they just can't pass up." The go-fer sighed. "That's why no one ever comes back the same."

Kermit wiped his brow in relief. "I suppose you have an explanation for why the earth moves during the honeymoon as well, eh?" he asked jokingly.

"Well sure I do, boss," Scooter said. He looked around cautiously. "But, uh, are you sure I can talk about sex here?"

Kermit collapsed onto the floor and was now hiding beneath his desk.

"Boss?" Scooter asked, kneeling down to look under the desk. "Are you okay?"

Kermit was visibly shaking and stuttered as he spoke. "Y-yes Scooter, j-just go on now, we-we'll talk l-later," Kermit said.

Scooter shrugged. "If you say so, chief. I guess I can always bring up the topic of your honeymoon with Miss Piggy," Scooter said, "she's always seems excited about it."

Kermit grabbed the leg of his go-fer before he could carry on. "Don't even think about it, kid," Kermit said quickly.

"Sorry, chief," Scooter said. "Is there something I can do for you?"

Kermit pulled himself out from under the table. "Yes Scooter there is," Kermit said.

"What's that, boss?" Scooter asked eagerly.

"Go home and watch Sesame Street," Kermit said. "Do not pass Go, do not collect two-hundred dollars."

Scooter shrugged. "If you say so, Kermit," Scooter said, "but Kermit...?"

"What is it, Scooter?" Kermit asked, now more than annoyed with Scooter's questions.

"Should I still talk to Miss Piggy about your honeymoon?" Scooter asked.

"No!" Kermit shouted. "Go!"

"But you said not to pass--"

"Just go!" Kermit shouted, waving his arms at Scooter, forcing him to flee from the theater.

Kermit groaned and picked up a pen from his desk and scribbled something furiously on his notepad. He ripped the page off and taped it to a wall backstage. He read it again, and then walked away.

In neatly scribbled handwriting it read, "Do not expect postcards during honeymoon. ~KTF"

 

[AnimatedC9000]

*giggles* Timeshares. And then the thing right after that. *laughs*

Ya got to love Scooter in that scene, though.

Great chapte, Prawn! I can't wait for the next one!

~ AnimatedC