Pre-Wedding Jitters ~ A Series of Short Muppet Fan-Fiction Stories

[TogetherAgain]

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.....<GLOMP!>

<points at Prawnie> I love this prawn. Here y'go, dear, have a muffin. Because THAT <points at latest Jitter> ...Is wonderful. And it makes me feel all smiley inside. And now, for some reason, I think I'm getting a mosquitoe craving, so if you'll excuse me... (...Maybe I've been spending TOO much time with the the Frogs? ...It's not MY fault Mom the Frog makes great chocolate-covered mosquitoes... <ahem>)

MORE PLEASE! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

 

[redBoobergurl]

I love the family dynamics going on here! It's good old froggy fun!

 

[AnimatedC9000]

Yay, the family's invited!

And were those Muppeteer and MC members that I saw earlier?

 

[The Count]

Yep. Muppeteer and MC friends are often frog names for Kermit's family, check Swamp Call and/or Getting Swamped for further examples.

 

[theprawncracker]

"Grover, I just don't think that's what Kermit--"

"Did he not say we will talk about flying you out to California?"

"Well, yes, he did, but--"

"Well are you not you?" Grover asked Maria.

"Yes, Grover, I am me, but--" Maria started.

"And Gordon, are you not you?" Grover asked Gordon.

Gordon sighed. "Yes, Grover, yes."

"Mm-hm," Gover said. "Bob, are you not you?" Grover asked.

"Yes, Grover," Bob said, rubbing his forehead in annoyance.

"Elmo things Grover is right," Elmo said.

Cookie Monster licked his fingers after devouring a jar of cookies in Hooper's Store. "Me think so too," he said. "Me think frog want us all to come--and all to eat his cookies!"

Luis looked at Maria, who shrugged. "Grover does have a point," she said.

Hooper's Store was crowded all of the Sesame Street residents either inside or out on the veranda, all of them arguing about the meaning of Kermit's letter.

"We could just call Kermit and ask him," Susan said.

"Oh, good idea, Susan," Zoe said.

"Si, asking questions is a great way to find out things you do not know," Rosita said.

Alan pulled out the phone from under the counter and pushed it towards Gordon. Gordon picked up the receiver and dialed a number. Then he pressed a button with a speaker on it and layed the phone back on the counter. The ringing of the phone could be heard now thanks to the speakerphone.

"Oh, I'm so excited," Big Bird said. "I love talking to Kermit."

"Hello, Muppet Boarding House here," said a voice sounding something like Bert's. "Fozzie Bear, here not there! Wocka! Wocka!"

"Hi Fozzie," Gordon said. "It's Gordon, from Sesame Street."

"And Big Bird!" Big Bird called out.

"Grover is here as well!" Grover said.

"Elmo is here too, mister Fozzie!"

"Me here too. You have cookies?"

"Ernie's here too!"

"And Bert!"

"Can we quit introducing ourselves and get on with this?" Oscar asked.

"Hi there, erm... everyone!" Fozzie said. "I bet you want to talk to Kermit, don't you?"

"That would be great, Fozzie," Bob said.

"Oh, well, um, he's not here," Fozzie said. "I'm sorry."

"Well maybe you can help us, Fozzie," Maria said.

"I'm sure I could at least come up with the bear minimum," Fozzie said. "Ahh! Get it?"

"Oh, I do!" Baby Bear said. "That's vewy funny!"

Telly slapped his forehead. "Oh good grief."

"Anyway Fozzie," Luis said. "Kermit sent us a letter about all of us coming for the wedding, we were just a little confused about--"

"Oh--oh, the wedding! Yeah, yeah! Kermit told me he wanted all of you guys to come!" Fozzie said. "I should know, I am the best man."

"Or best bear, as it may be," Baby Bear said.

"Ahh! Right!" Fozzie said happily.

"So he does want us all there?" Alan asked.

"Of cours he does!" Fozzie said. "Kermit loves you guys!"

"Yuck," Oscar groaned. "I hate this wedding already..."

"I don't!" Big Bird said happily. "I love it! Hey, Snuffy, we're going to California!"

Snuffy laughed happily. "Oh boy!"

Maria, Luis, Gordon, Susan, Bob, Alan, and Gina all exchanged looks and shrugged. "I guess we are going to California."

"Yay!" Elmo cheered. "Sesame Street is going to California!"

"Yeah, yeah," Fozzie said. "We all can't wait to see you!"

Grover moved up to the phone receiver and spoke directly to the speaker. "Hello Fozzie, tell Froggy baby that I, Grover, will be on the next flight to see him, okay?"

"You betcha!" Fozzie said. "Umm... who's Froggy baby?"

"Oh, why, it is Kermit!" Grover exclaimed. "You should be sure to call him that, he just loves it!"

"Ahh! I'll have to remember that!" Fozzie said.

Gordon shook his head. "Thanks Fozzie," he said. "We'll see you all soon."

"No problem! See you!" Fozzie said, hanging up the phone.

Ernie tapped Bert on the shoulder. "You hear that, Bert? We're going to California!" Ernie said.

"Yes, Ernie, I heard," Bert said. "I was standing here the whole time."

"Oh yeah, well do you think they have glue for your loose nose in California?" Ernie asked, grabbing Bert's nose and pulling it off his face.

Bert's eyebrow lowered and his expression turned to a scowl. "Ernie!"

Oscar rolled his eyes. "Maybe I can find a nice garbage barge to move to out in Calfornia," he muttered.

~-~-~-~-~

Fozzie smiled and moved away from the phone. "Oh, Kermit is going to be so glad to hear that Grover's coming soon." The beat turned around and straightened his hat and tie in the hall mirror. "Yup, and everyone else from Sesame Street is excited about coming whenever the wedding ends up being," Fozzie said, not realizing that all of Sesame Street was coming--and soon. "Now... where's that penguin with the cue cards? I need him to hold up those cards that say 'LAUGH,' that's genius..."

 

[AnimatedC9000]

CHAOS! CONFUSION! HILARITY! All in one chapter!

But that was just a given fact.

Beware, Muppet Boarding House, of the Sesame Street gang!

~ AnimatedC

 

[The Count]

Ha... Wait... "The beat straightened his tie and hat"? All this time, I thought Fozzie was a bear. Oh well. Live and learn.
*Leaves Prawny to the mercy of the rest of the naggers with nary a lifeline tieing him up to the roofedge fixtures.

 

[theprawncracker]

Kermit woke up suddenly. He had fallen asleep doing the finances for the show on the kitchen table. He groaned and lifted his head up from the table. He looked down at the still-large pile of papers beneath him, with so many numbers that he thought maybe someone had turned on "The Matrix."

He shook his head and tried straightening the papers, but failed and gave up. He pushed his chair out from the table and stood up, he stretched his arms out wide, ready to plop down in his bed and not do another thing until morning.

He turned around to walk out of the kitchen and found that the doorway was blocked. Kermit gulped loudly as his eyes grew larger and they ogled Miss Piggy standing before him.

She was leaning helplessly against the doorway with a red silk night gown draped down her entire person (or pig, as the case may be). "Come, mon frog," she said to her flustered froggy fiance, "moi has something to show vous."

Kermit's face scrambled to compose it self. "Oh, why, Miss Piggy," he said sheepishly. "What a--erm, surprise seeing you this late."

"Kermie, Kermie, Kermie," Piggy chided. "Something vous must soon learn is that moi is most definitely a night owl."

It was a miracle that Kermit didn't trip over himself as he took a step forward. "I see," Kermit said. "That's certainly a hoot."

Piggy frowned. "Ah, shut up and come see what moi has to show you," she said.

Kermit caved and grabbed Piggy's extended hand. She pulled him (not literally, surprisingly) up the stairs and towards her room.

"Now Piggy," Kermit said. "You know I have my own little qualms about this sort of thing before the--"

"Yeah, yeah, so do I, dumb frog," Piggy responded. "Moi really does have something important to show you."

"Oh good," Kermit said with a smile. "'Cause if that sort of thing was to happen I don't think they'd ever let me on Sesame Street again."

"Well if that's your only problem with it--"

"Pig-gy!" Kermit scolded, scrunching up his face.

"Kidding!" Piggy said. "Geez, take a joke why don't'cha."

"I have to, my best friend's Fozzie," the frog said.

Piggy reached her bedroom door and turned the knob slowly. She pushed open the door, revealing her room. Nothing out of place, nothing out of the ordinary, no skeleton hanging out of the closet.

Kermit looked around. "Piggy, there's nothing here," he said.

"That's what you think, frog," Piggy said. "Sit on the bed, moi has to get something."

Kermit did as he was told and sat on the pink and white quilt ont eh edge of Piggy's bed. She swept over to her vanity and pulled open the drawer. She reached inside and twisted her face as she looked for something. Her expression lit up as she found it, and her arm pulled back.

Suddenly, a framed picture of Kermit and Piggy lifted up on the wall, revealing a safe on the wall.

Kermit's face pulled back in surprise. "Piggy! What is this?" he asked.

"A girl's gotta keep somethings out of the public eye," she said, moving towards the safe. "Especially moi!"

"Can't argue with you there," Kermit said.

Piggy reached for the safe's knob and quickly sifted through the combination on the lock. It clicked open and Piggy pulled the door open. She reached inside carefully. Kermit peered around Piggy's shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of what she could possibly be hiding. All he could see past his beloved was a stack of three gold bricks.

He decided it would be better not to ask.

Piggy pulled a shoebox out of the safe. She walked over, her red silk flowing behind her feet. She sat gently down on her bed next to Kermit and layed the box in between them. She put her hands together and held them in her lap, sitting quietly.

Kermit looked at Piggy solemnly. "Piggy...?" he asked quietly.

"Please... just open the box, Kermie," she said softly.

Kermit nodded and lifted the lid off the box. He peered inside and looked back at Piggy. "It's... it's just a letter," he said.

"Please..." Piggy whimpered.

Kermit reached inside and pulled out the frail letter. He looked at it for a moment, then began to read it to himself.

Two minutes of silence passed as Kermit scrolled slowly and carefully through the words. He gasped near the end and then set it down carefully back in the box.

He looked at his flippers, still silent. "Piggy..." he finally said. "I--I had no idea."

Piggy wiped her eye with her purple gloved hand. "Oh, oh Kermie, it's--it's nothing, really. I--I just wanted you to know."

"Miss Piggy," Kermit said to the whimpering pig, "this--this is your family. Piggy, honey--this is not nothing."

Miss Piggy put the lid back on the shoebox. "No, it is, really," she said, grabbing the box and moving back to the safe and locking it back in.

"But Piggy--"

"Kermie," Piggy snapped, "please don't make this hard, I just--I just needed you to know."

"Miss Piggy," Kermit said, now standing from the bed. "Talk to me about this. I love you, you love me, we can share this with each other!"

Piggy bit her bottom lip, holding back the tears. "Alright Kermie," she said softly, grabbing his hand and sitting back on the bed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about this?" Kermit asked.

Piggy wiped her eye and turned away from Kermit. "I--I was... I was ashamed..." she said, hiding her now-flowing tears.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Kermit told her softly, caressing her hand. "Nothing at all..."

"There is, though, there is!" Piggy wailed, whipping her face back around to Kermit, her golden hair clouding her vision. "I let it happen! I left them, I could've saved them, but--but I left them!"

Kermit grabbed Miss Piggy's shoulders and turned her towards him. Their eyes met and he kissed her lips forcefully. "You left them to try to help them," he said. "Am I right?"

Piggy sniffed and nodded slowly, a tear rolled down her cheek, leaving a streak down her coat of makeup.

Kermit reached out with his finger and wiped the tear away. "Then you did all you could to save them," he told her. "If you had still been there... im--imagine what could've happened to you too."

"But--but I--"

"You tried," Kermit said, "you did all you could, and they know that. They--they would've been very proud to call you theirs."

Miss Piggy broke down and wrapped her arms tightly around Kermit's neck, sobbing on his shoulder. Kermit ran one hand through her golden locks and another to rub her back.

"I love you, Miss Piggy," Kermit said quietly. "Please... don't ever forget that."

"I... I love you too, Kermie," Piggy said, pulling back her sobs. She pulled her head up from the frog's shoulder and wiped her eyes. "Don't you forget it, frog!"

Kermit the Frog laughed and smiled happily at Miss Piggy. He held her hand in his and pecked her cheek. "How can I?" he asked. "There's a constant reminder for me everyday in those looks you give me."

Miss Piggy nuzzled her face into Kermit's shoulder and hummed the wedding march. "Don't pretend vous don't enjoy them."

"Oh, I won't," Kermit said.

"Kermie?" Piggy asked.

"Yes, my dearest?" Kermit responded.

"Did we ever pick a date for the wedding?" she asked.

"What wedding?"

"WHAT? !" Piggy shouted, jumping up from the bed. "HI-YA! !"

Kermit flew across the room thanks to the force of Piggy's karate chop, smacking against the wall and falling down to the floor. He shook his head vigorously and mumbled woozily. "Oh yeah... I remember now..." Kermit's head rolled back and he fell face down on the floor.

Miss Piggy rubbed her fist on her chest and smirked. "I may be engaged, but I've still got it, pal!" Piggy tossed her hair behind her head and scoffed. "What wedding my snout," she muttered. "Somebody's getting married, and if it isn't me and the frog, then nobody's getting married!"

~They're finally getting married now!~

THE END

 

[TogetherAgain]

<GLOMP!>

Prawnie... That- ...That is incredible.

...There is SO much... LOVE, there... as there SHOULD be, in a couple soon to be wed! And her TRUST in him, telling him... and I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE how you dealt with her telling him... wow. Just this Jitter, alone, Prawnie, is worthy of the praising adjective of... fantasticabulous. And multiply that by two for all of the Jitters.

<GLOMP!>

Oh I already did that.

That's okay.

<GLOMP!>

Once for each mind, then.

Looking forward to the wedding! <sings> Somebody's getting married...

 

[The Count]

Hmmm... So I take it Hortense won't be present at this version of The wedding? Nice ending... But Piggy's the one who needs to learn to take a joke, she still lives with Fozzie too, for the moment.

Thanks pal. Hope your next work lives up to your rep here as one of our best authors.