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One Shots, Parodies, & Trailers!

WebMistressGina

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Seems to me it'd be easier if all your Miss Piggy's Adventures fics including Bogen County Farewell are in the Muppets 2011 camp, and then any new fic takes place in the Muppets 2015 timeframe. That'd lend believability to Up Late being on the air for at least five years.

So long as you post, we'll come and read what you've got.Thanks for the Mupdate. :jim:
See, I had thought that, but the problem is, Bogen County Farewell takes place in the 2015 timeframe. And I reference it - I used Up Late through out, I have them discussing the show and who would be hosting, I mention the executives, and the whole thing. And of course, the first portion of the story takes place after Bear Left, Then Bear Right (the seige at Christina Applegate's).

I mean, I could move this out from MPA to that of MFA, which is in 2015 and that would keep all MPAs in 2011. If my brain can get around that. You know it changes its mind every day.
 

The Count

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Your mind changes its mind too huh. Bogen County Farewell can work in either of your main camps. Just seems like an eaiser choice to put it with the other Bogen County fics and the Desert Delay, then your Season 2 can start in earnest for the 2016/2017 TV season.
Noted you changed your sig. Good, because Gonzo could totally be a member of the X-Men, look at him and tell me he's not potentially related to Nightcrawler, having the one power I'd love to have, instant teleportation.
 

WebMistressGina

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Your mind changes its mind too huh.
Of corpse it does. You know this. Why do you think I still haven't finished 2 Ball yet? I've managed to come up with like 8 different stories in between chapters! LOL

Bogen County Farewell can work in either of your main camps. Just seems like an eaiser choice to put it with the other Bogen County fics and the Desert Delay, then your Season 2 can start in earnest for the 2016/2017 TV season.
Well, technically they can't. Desert Delay is a stand alone, much like Meeting at Shotsky's. Just to be clear - I'm not moving anything around; I'm just telling people which work goes in which universe. There's no need to change anything on the library (which, speaking of, weren't you supposed to be doing a 2016 version of that?), I want people to be thinking in the right universe for the right fic.

Why is this important?

Well, I'll tell you cause SPOILERS. Sorta. So, I'm sure you're all familiar with our dear Amanda Chase, who has jumped from just being in the Pool Hall series to that of the Monday series (yes, there is more Mandy there). The reason I want and probably need to make separate universes is...she isn't gonna be in the Up Late universe.

So, Scooter is gonna have a different girl in any story taking place in that universe. It was surprising, surprised myself, but I think it fits in with our Mupps and some other stuff that would spoil things. Also, Scooter is gonna get a slight name change in the Up Late universe. Same guy, different middle name.

Oh...there's also Robin. I haven't decided what to do with Robin's age. So, in the M11 universe, he's a teenager; as we saw on M15, he's still a child. I haven't settled on if I wanna age him up or not yet. I might cause it's been a while and he should age, but...kids do say the darnedest things and he was the one who wholeheartedly should be the team captain of Team Love.

Noted you changed your sig. Good, because Gonzo could totally be a member of the X-Men, look at him and tell me he's not potentially related to Nightcrawler, having the one power I'd love to have, instant teleportation.
I did. I figured now that I have an actual working season 2 outline, I'd change it up some. And what better way to announce that I have returned (really, this time) than a change in avatar and sig?
 

The Count

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Eh, at this point I'd say you go with what feels best for the fic you're writing. If it works better with Robin as a kid, keep him as such. If it's Robin as a teen, then age him up. Sorry for not updating the library, I've been more engaged in other things, but it does need some and will hopefully receive some maintenance in the future. :wink:
 

WebMistressGina

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Listen up, y'all!

Gina...has finally come BACK...to Muppet Central!!

Yes, yes, it is I, you're lovable mistress of the web and I have missed you guys! First off, I am super sorry, so so super sorry for leaving you all with unfinished stories and tastes of stories yet to be written. I wish I had an excuse of IRL, but TBH...I got caught up in binge watching. That's what started it - I dived deep into Bob's Burgers, then I let YouTube pick my next show, which was Steven Universe and...it went down hill from there.

Don't these people know good writing and good musical numbers are both my jam and Achilles Heel?

BUT...within the last week, I was jonsin' for some Muppets and thus, here I be! And I did not come empty handed. I actually have a new story for you!

:concern::eek::confused::electric:

I know, right? And you can blame the aforementioned Bob's Burgers for this cause it's now on my work background rotation. This little tidbit - that I'm writing right now - is from the episode Bob Day Afternoon and I have included the scene of inspiration here. Why this didn't occur to me before now, I don't know.


Gimme...an hour or so and I shall have a new piece for you. And after that, I WILL update 2 Ball, everyone! Not only that, but I will FINISH it! It's gonna happen, everyone! It will happen!
 

WebMistressGina

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And your wait is over!

EDIT - Just realized that the video above didn't start where it should've. You can skip ahead to 1:44 where the real madness starts.


Title: Frog Day Afternoon

Genre: Comedy/Parody

Inspiration: Bob Day Afternoon, Bob’s Burgers, season 2, episode 2

Summary: In which Kermit finds himself the friendly negotiator in a hostage situation



It was a surreal atmosphere within the borrowed offices of Shuster & Lutz, a former law firm that was going to be turned into a small children’s clinic, though you wouldn’t have guessed that from the commotion that was happening in the street. On the same block, across the street to be specific, was Best Solution Financial Bank and it was currently involved in a hostage situation.

Police had of course moved in as soon as one of the bank tellers had hit the silent alarm, but it gave the robber enough time to sequester himself and several hostages within the building. That had been about an hour ago, with LAPD blocking the neighborhood and area, and sending over a hostage negotiator to try and talk things out. This would all be fine ad dandy if not the problem that was now occurring in Shuster & Lutz.

Because of the building’s change of format, the cast and some of the crew of Up Late with Miss Piggy were actually inside the former law offices, filming a segment that was, hopefully going to be played either tonight or when the building was officially opened as the kids’ clinic. And while they had been in the middle of rehearsal, Best Solution was being robbed, which put several Muppets inside the temporary headquarters for the police while they straightened out the situation.

To make matters worse, the robber had since discovered who was across the street and wanted the executive producer himself to bring over the recently delivered food.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how Kermit the Frog found himself being strapped into a bullet proof vest and heading into what would, by far, be the most absurd and dangerous thing he had ever done. This was literally supposed to be an hour, maybe two, off set, where they would do a quick little piece for a news segment Miss Piggy wanted to try out. It should have only consisted of himself, Piggy, and their cameraman Stoli, but no, even that couldn’t have been simple.

So instead of three people, he almost had half the set inside the building with him. Fozzie Bear, the show’s announcer/unrecognized co-host, insisted he be there as Piggy’s comic foil – which Piggy quickly noted she didn’t need – and sidekick; the Great Gonzo, the show’s head writer, insisted he come along because what if they needed to change the script? Scooter Grosse, the assistant producer, naturally wanted to go to give Kermit a hand and then there was fifteen-year-old Robin the Frog, Kermit’s nephew, who shadowed Scooter at most times, but was today taking over for Stoli, who had gotten sick during lunch.

Kermit couldn’t think of a worst time or the worst group of people to be stuck with during a time like this. Not that he didn’t love or care about the people around him, it was just dangerous to be here and worse considering that he was the one who had to go across the street. Detective Sloan, the lead detective and negotiator there had been talking about getting Kermit to talk with the robber, which had led to the frog now being put into a bullet-proof vest.

“I really don’t like this plan,” the frog was saying, shaking his head as his third vest was being put on. The police normally weren’t going around putting bullet-proof vests on Muppets and certainly not on Muppet frogs, so it took some maneuvering to make sure that Kermit would actually be protected should a shoot out occur, which did nothing to lessen the frog’s apprehension. “And I’m not feeling right about wearing this.”

“It’s just for protection, Kermie,” Piggy cooed, rubbing a satin hand down his arm.

“This way you don’t get popped in case Big Bank Hank over there wants to throw down,” Gonzo added. “Scooter would have to take your place.”

Scooter turned wide eyes on the former stuntman. “I don’t want to go over there!” he protested.

“No, dude,” Gonzo said. “I mean, take over as producer. You know, in case Kermit gets made into frog tar-tar or something.”

“Gonzo!” Both Kermit and Fozzie exclaimed, turning annoyed looks towards the weirdo.

“I’d be ready to be the Muppet of this company,” the page nodded.

“I’m ready to call you boss, Scooter,” Robin admitted. “Like Springsteen!”

“No one is calling Scooter ‘boss’,” Piggy affirmed. “Or Springsteen.”

“Scootersteen!” Fozzie piped up, the nickname just slipping out before he realized what he had said and was alluding to.

“Okay, yeah, let’s go,” Kermit muttered. “I’m kinda looking forward to being in a new kind of insanity now.”

“Remember Kermit,” Sloan replied, looking the frog in the eye. “You want to keep the perp talking until we get our units close enough to take him out. If he wishes to engage in conversation, do so, but don’t upset him in any way, got it? He seemed to really like you, so maybe you can draw him out.”

Kermit nodded, reluctantly. He really didn’t want to be doing this, but as Sloan stated, the robber seemed to only want to talk to the frog and was very relaxed in doing so. If Kermit was hopeful, he could try and talk the robber into either letting go his hostages or maybe even give himself up.

“Okay, let’s go.”

Kermit hadn’t taken one step before he was being wrapped up in a hug and kiss from Piggy. “Kermie, vous is so brave,” she gushed. “Please be careful!”

“Come on, Kermit.”

“Yeah,” the frog began. “I just…”

“Kermit, I love you!” shouted Fozzie, who managed to throw his arms around Kermit’s neck in his own bear hug.

“I know, Foz…”

“Kermit,” Sloan insisted. “Let’s go.”

“Hold…” the frog tried but was silenced by another kiss and by Scooter and Robin both jumping in front of him. “Hold on, a second. I'm trying to say goodbye or something here.”

“Uncle Kermit,” Robin began. “I’ll have to write my report on Scootersteen if you die.”

“Kermit…”

“Yeah!” Kermit said, over the rising voices of the other.

“He’s not gonna die,” Gonzo chimed in, though he also managed to attach himself to Kermit’s side. “Kermit, we’ll be useless if you die!”

“Guys, come on,” Kermit tried to reason. “Get off me, please.”

“Kermit, don’t go!” Scooter screamed, throwing himself around Kermit’s leg and nearly causing the frog to fall forward.

“Scooter!”

“This is a timely operation, Frog.”

“I-I know that!” Kermit groused, trying to make headway towards the door. The more he moved however, the tighter the huddled embraces got.

“I changed my mind!” Robin shouted, jumping on the frog and trying to climb him the way he had when he was five. Except, the young frog wasn’t five and his extra was causing the frog to tip like the leaning tower of Pisa. “Don’t go, Uncle Kermit!”

“Robin! Scooter, let me…boys!”

What should have been, as Sloan had repeatedly said, a precision operation was now being hampered by, if anything, the power of love. No matter how much Kermit was obviously trying to do his duty, his Muppet cohorts weren’t letting him, clinging to him like dew that clings to a window after a summer storm or sweat to an athlete. Soon, words of love and admiration were being shouted over each other, which meant they were also being shouted over Sloan’s words for the frog to get a move on and Kermit’s insistence that he was on the way, plus the pleas that the others let him go.

“I love you so much, Kermie!”

“Frog of my heart, I can’t quit you!”

“Kermit, let’s go!”

“Don’t go! No one’s gonna okay my squid act!”

“Dad gave me the talk, but I still have a lot of questions!”

"Enough, Kermit!"

“Robin, get down!”

“I don’t wanna run the show without you!”

“No squids, Gonzo! Get off me!”

“If you come back, everything’s on the table. Even on the table!”

“Oh my God! Kermit!”

“Piggy!”

“I don’t think Gonzo’s the right person to answer them!”

“I said I’m coming!”

“How am I supposed to officiate if you’re dead!?”

“Shake them loose, Kermit!”

“I don’t wanna be an only child!”

“I am trying! They won’t let go!”

“I need you to be uncle to my wickens!”

“What do I do if…”

“Fozzie, you’re choking me!”

“I’m too young to be a widow!”

“Robin, this is not at all an appropriate time for this conversation!”

“No, Kermit! No!”

At wit’s end, Sloan used the one thing he apparently had left in his arsenal – a bullhorn. “Kermit!” The unwieldy mass that was Muppets came to a shaky stop, thankfully for Kermit, who was being bogged down by weight. Fozzie had all but jumped on his back, Scooter was clinging to his leg, while Robin was clutched around his front and middle; how Piggy and Gonzo were able to keep their hold on him from either side of him, he didn’t know.

“Come back safely, Mon Capitan,” Piggy replied. “Don’t leave me with these lunatics.”
 

WebMistressGina

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Heeeeeeeeey youuuuuuuuuu guuuuuuuuuuys!

Hey, what up? How ya doing? Sooooooo....we've come to this. You know Gins has got more ideas that Piggy has designer dresses, so thought I'd throw another one at you. I literally think I came up with this idea because of the beginning and had to write down. This was going to be a stand alone one shot, but once I came up with the ideas for The Muppets Season 2, this kinda started to slot itself into a season 3 type scenario. Anyway, I has this and like two more stories to share with y'all for Christmas and then I will hopefully have something brand spanking new for the new year!

Story Summary - Piggy goes away and leaves Kermit and the boys to house-sit. Hilarity ensues.

Without further ado, I present -




First Guys Club



Thursdays were usually the last day for taping on Up Late with Miss Piggy. The show normally ran Monday through Thursday, giving both cast and crew the opportunity for a three-day weekend before needing to come back to work on Monday. This Monday however was a holiday and right before the start of their summer vacations, so executive producer Kermit the Frog had deemed the Wednesday before their last show before they returned after the summer.

This worked out perfectly for much of the Muppet cast. The summer offered up a ton of different opportunities – from making another movie to working on side gigs or, heaven forbid, having actual vacations. For her, the star of Up Late had a standing commitment to former employer Vogue to be a part of their New York fashion week that would start that following week.

Kermit: [on confession cam] Piggy does these Vogue fashion weeks twice a year, depending on our own schedule. It was part of the deal of her leaving and coming back to the Muppets. She’s been doing this for a while now, so she usually asks if I can watch her place while she’s gone. And because sometimes I might get bored by myself, I usually invite one or two of the guys to come by to keep me company. Which…has led to some…mishaps.

Currently, Kermit stood in the diva’s living room, along with head writer Gonzo the Great, announcer/co-host Fozzie Bear, and Tavern bar owner and former cast member Rowlf the Dog. Miss Piggy had gathered the group together, knowing it was pointless to just invite the frog when the other three would be following suit, and was running down what would have seemed to be last minute instructions to those house-sitting her house.

“Before Moi forgets,” she replied, grabbing a piece of paper from the nearby coffee table and handing it to Gonzo. “This is for you.”

“What is it?” asked Fozzie, leaning over to see what Gonzo now held in his hands.

“Your obligatory list of what you can and cannot do in Moi’s house,” came the answer. “Now, Moi has asked Uncle Deadly to stop by just to make sure you haven’t all died in the night or worse, destroyed something in here.”

“Hey!” Gonzo exclaimed, reading over the list. It was an instructional list, typical dos and don’ts for the house, however most of the list were definite don’ts and while it was just one piece of paper, the diva’s list ran both front and back.

“I resent number three on here.”

“Do you deny it?” the diva countered.

“No,” the head writer said, squirming slightly under the star’s gaze. That little incident, while involving him, certainly hadn’t been started by him, so yes, he was going to take offense. Of course, he hadn’t exactly stopped it and had been more encouraging than discouraging… “But I heavily resent it. Look, why don’t you just put Kermit in charge like you always do? Or Rowlfie here?”

“See, normally Moi would do exactly that,” she said, with a slight smile on her face. “Because Kermit and Rowlf are probably the most responsible people we know.”

And that was true. There was a reason they all looked up to both the frog and dog in their little group. Not only were they the most responsible, but they both carried an air of leadership, captains able to handle anything that could come up on their little ship and still make sure it and their crew made it through the storm.

The downside to that was, like any member of their ilk, they were highly susceptible to the infectious shenanigans that often happened when you put a group of performers together for roughly thirty-aught years: certain combinations were more trouble than they were worth. Case in point…

“However…when they throw you two into the mix,” she continued, gesturing between both Gonzo and Fozzie. “Everything seems to fall apart.”

Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were best friends. Together with Gonzo the Great, they were the three best friends that anyone could ever have. Throw in Rowlf the Dog and one would think they were the four musketeers, which in some ways was true. But unlike the musketeers, having the four of them together usually meant they were up to something that defied explanation. Piggy would never forget the time – many times, actually – she had walked into the frog’s apartment and found him, Rowlf, and Fozzie trying to stuff Gonzo into a gaudy white sequined dress.

“That is totally not true!” exclaimed Fozzie. Things did not fall apart around them. They just sorta…didn’t stay together sometimes.

“Absolutely not,” Gonzo agreed.

“Mon Capitan, oui ou non?”

Kermit, who had been quiet this entire time, merely shrugged. They had been doing this for a while a now and if there was one thing he had learned within the past year, it was to stop avoiding the inevitable, especially when it came to his friends and double that when it came to Piggy.

“Oui,” he answered.

Piggy then turned her gaze to Rowlf.

“I can’t confirm or deny any event in which I was not in full participation of,” he said.

A quick succession of knocks on the door interrupted them before it opened, revealing associate producer Scooter Grosse walking, laptop bag across his shoulders and rolling a small duffel bag behind him. His eyes widen slightly when he saw that Piggy was there. “Hey,” he said, nodding to the quartet before looking at the diva. “You still here?”

Instead of answering, the diva turned to the group in front of her. “You brought the boy in?”

This time, it was the comic who shrugged. “Well,” he said. “We hardly ever hang out with Scooter, so…”

“Oh well then,” she began, taking the list she had given Gonzo and tossing it aside. She then went back to the coffee table and grabbed yet another list, once again handing it to the writer. “Vous is gonna need this list then.” Pointing to the younger Muppet, she said, “Moi has already emailed yours.”

“I’m guessing then, the second list is the one I should be looking at,” Scooter huffed, taking at his phone. It wasn’t unheard of for Scooter to receive emails early in the morning, especially considering that he held stake in other businesses besides the Muppets, but Piggy’s had been a bit of a surprise. The first one had come in right as he was getting ready to start the day, while the second popped up as he was heading out.

“The first one was just for vous,” she explained. “In case you and the frog decided to just work all summer. The second one is for the group.”

“Oh come on!”

“Well…”

That had been Gonzo, who was looking through this much longer list. It was around three pages, nicely typed and stapled together and it pretty much went through everything the five could get up to in a week’s time.

“You know, in Piggy’s defense,” he continued. “We would’ve done number four here, for sure.”

“And there was a possibility of number seven,” Fozzie added, also looking at the list.

“And number eight,” said Kermit.

“And there would’ve been a high potential for numbers fifteen through twenty-one,” Gonzo concluded.

The sounds of her car pulling up caused Piggy to glance out the window. “Alright,” she said, heading towards the door, picking up her bag, and turning back to the group. “Moi is off.”

“That’s usually my assessment,” Kermit joked, smiling when the diva poked him.

In quick succession, Piggy delivered a quick kiss to the frog’s lips, telling him “I love you” before turning to look at Gonzo and saying “Behave.” She then pointed to the comic and told him, “No sweets”, which caused him to whine in displeasure. She told Rowlf to “Stay out of trouble” and then said it was double for the so-called named Boy Wonder.

“Moi will see you all in a week,” she concluded, before opening the door and heading out.

As one, the quintet moved to the window to watch the driver get Piggy settled in and then return to his place behind the wheel. They all watched as the car started up and began to back out the driveway and head down the road. As soon as the car was out of sight, the others began throwing out complaints and suggestions, however Kermit interrupted them, holding his hand up to silence them.

Within two minutes of quieting the others, the same car came around the corner to pass by slowly by the house, the back window rolled down. On the other side was Piggy, her eyes covered by a pair of fashionable shades and looking out said window. Her focus however was on the very window Kermit and the others stood at, almost daring them to start up something as soon as her car had pulled out from the driveway.

Kermit waved happily as his girlfriend drove by, mentally laughing at knowing she wasn’t going to catch them this time, while also hoping she’d have a good enough trip that wouldn’t include worrying about what they could be doing to her home.

Once again, the car went by and when the frog was sure she wouldn’t be coming back, he said, “Now.”

Gonzo quickly crumbled up the lengthy list he had been handed, asking, “We don’t need this anymore, right?” He tried to lob the paper towards the kitchen, namely the trash can that was nowhere near him, however Fozzie managed to jump up and batted the paper in the air, knocking it back towards the living room.

“Anything in the fridge?” Rowlf asked.

“Uh yeah,” the frog replied, heading for the kitchen. “Piggy ended up getting some healthy meals, cause you know…we aren’t gonna live forever, so we should be taking care of ourselves and stuff.”

“Princess on a health kick?” Gonzo asked.

Kermit nodded. “Yeah,” he said, opening the door to the refrigerator. Once again in his preferred role as dutiful boyfriend, the frog found himself usually caught up in Piggy’s newest obsession; not always, but usually. Her new health kick was actually the longest thing she had committed to recently and while he certainly did want her to live as long as possible, he also enjoyed her curvaceous figure.

Inside the refrigerator were a variety of pre-cooked lunches and dinners that Piggy had bought for the group to enjoy while they were there. “Well,” the frog began, looking through the boxes that sat within the fridge. “We have some veggie medleys, a couple of low fat casseroles, and a bunch of stuff with tofu as the main ingredient.”

“What’s toe fu?” asked Fozzie. It sounded like a form of martial arts that Piggy practiced and there was no doubt in the comic’s mind that she was probably a black belt in that, too.

“Oh, it’s this kinda squishy, healthy square that you cut into cubes,” Gonzo answered.

“Oh,” the comic said, though his fuzzy face morphed into one of confusion. “What’s it taste like?”

“Like nothing,” the head writer said. “But you can mix it with other foods and then it tastes like…nothing.”

Gonzo had eaten tofu and while not bad, it wasn’t all that great. Camilla usually made a scramble out of it, switching out the eggs for tofu and mixing together some veggies, like bell peppers. It was a good breakfast, though it did leave him hungry when getting to the studio and he ended up snagging a donut to make up for it. He didn’t tell her that, because the point of eating tofu was to reduce his cholesterol and it was heart healthy.

It just wasn’t tasty.

Rowlf and Kermit continued to peer into the refrigerator, though neither was excited about the prospects that awaited them. Kermit was all for eating healthy, but healthy could sometimes equal boring and he didn’t want a boring meal. At least not right now. The pianist turned to his longtime friend and asked, “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

[hr]

Summers in California were heaven – not too hot, but just right and the days made it perfect to just sit outside and eat.

“Oh my God, this is so good!”

“So good!”

Parked in the parking lot of Carl’s Jr, that’s exactly what Kermit and his four friends were doing, alternating moans of bliss as they sat and ate their delicious charbroiled burgers. They really did try to eat healthy, in many cases, but there were times when you just needed a burger or a taste of those crispy, golden fries and today was one of those days.

Actually, the whole week felt like burgers or steaks would be on the menu.

That was probably the opposite of what Piggy had wanted for the group, but in their defense, she never said they couldn’t cheat. And at no point – either by her or on her very long list of instructions – did she say they couldn’t have fast food. So with no instruction on what they should be eating, all five had gotten into Kermit’s car, drove to the closest burger joint, ordered food, and immediately started eating it in the parking lot.

“Uh oh.”

In the middle of enjoying his delicious Guacamole Bacon Thickburger, Fozzie came to a near fatal realization. He had forgotten to ask for no bacon and then proceeded to forget to remove said bacon from his burger. Pulling a stringy piece of the meat from his burger, the comic leaned between the front seats, and held up the object. “Is this bacon?”

Rowlf took the piece from Fozzie and popped it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully before nodding and saying, “Yeah, that’s bacon.” Looking at his own burger, he said, “Shoot.”

“I totally forgot to tell them no bacon,” the comic sputtered, looking at his burger as though poisoned.

“Oh yeah,” Gonzo mumbled, mouth full of burger and fries. “Me, too.”

“Not good,” Fozzie sighed. He should have immediately tossed the burger back into the bag or at least gotten rid of the bacon, but the burger was delicious and he was near convinced it was because of the bacon. And that made him feel worse.

There was something to be said about working with people who, for some, were considered food. Piggy had made it known from the start that she was not at all amused by ‘pig jokes’, especially if they were food related. Gonzo had made some comment once about a honey ham and it had landed that same ham on his head.

“I hope we aren’t eating one of Piggy’s uncles or something.” Quickly turning to the driver, the comic begged for forgiveness and understanding. “Please don’t tell Piggy! Don’t tell Piggy, Kermit! She’ll kill me!”

“He’s not gonna tell Piggy,” Rowlf replied, throwing the frog a look.

“I’m not gonna tell Piggy,” Kermit agreed. As much as Piggy would hem and haw about pork products, he knew she wasn’t the kind of person to make someone stop eating it for her benefit. However, the frog admitted that it was very endearing that his friends ended up cutting pork from their diet.

He noted that both he and Piggy had stopped eating chicken around the time Gonzo and Camilla starting dating.

“I’ll just be indignant on her behalf,” he added, throwing a smirk towards the comic. “After I finish my lunch.”

Lunch ended pretty much as it began, with sounds of happily filling stomachs that craved burgers. With tummies now sated, the more important portion of the day would need to be explored. “So what do we do now?” asked Scooter, glancing at the others.

“Well…” Their leader replied, blowing out a breath. “What we should do is something productive. Yeah, we’re just starting summer, but we know that three months can go by in a flash.”

Fozzie nodded. “I should probably work on my routine,” he admitted.

“And I probably got some writing to do,” Gonzo added.

“We’ll need to do finances,” Rowlf said, looking at Kermit. While The Tavern was all Rowlf’s, some of his friends did have stake in the business, even if they didn’t want to admit they did. Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo, Scooter, Floyd Pepper, and Dr. Teeth were all starting investors into the bar and were adamant that the dog and owner didn’t have to do anything to pay them back.

They considered it payment for all the years of helpful advice the dog had given them.

But Rowlf always wanted to do the right thing, so he ended coordinating his administrative duties along with theirs, so he could get the best advice and guidance possible from the two people who managed finances for a large entertainment holding.

“Good idea,” Scooter nodded. “I always find that working in an active and sociable environment is conducive to my productivity.”

“Huh?” asked Fozzie.

“He likes being around people when he works,” Gonzo explained. Sending a cheeky grin towards the associate producer, he quipped, “Probably all that time running around after us in the theater.”

“Well, when you’ve worked on business management duties and homework while trying to avoid Muppets flying in the air, you can pretty much work in any environment.”

Forty-five minutes later, all five found themselves back in the living room of Piggy’s home, not at all doing what they said they would do. The plan truly and honestly had been to get some actual work done, but the thought of working – especially after such a heavy meal – put them off. Within five minutes, Fozzie began to complain that he was tired and wanted a nap, so the only way to keep themselves occupied and awake was to do something that wasn’t work for the moment.

So, instead of actually working, Fozzie, Gonzo, Scooter, and Rowlf were in the midst of a heated battle of Formula 1, a popular racing game Piggy owned for the Console One gaming system. Kermit, who had quickly lost after running headlong into the crowd barrier, sat next to the head writer, cheering him on as he took the lead from Rowlf.

The thought of working was now a distant thought, even as Kermit heard his phone going off. However, while he may have ignored any other call, this one came with the sounds of some inappropriate pop song.

That meant only one person would possibly be calling.

“Crud, it’s Piggy!”


And that's it for now. I may come back to this one in the future, cause I totally like it and it's premise. But yeah, there you go for your Sunday Funday!
 

WebMistressGina

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Muppet Central, are you ready!?

For what, you may ask? Well, you all remember how like after the 2015 show came out and then ended, I was like I'm not satisfied with this cliffhanger ending, so therefore I must continue on with this. You all remember that?

You all: Vaguely.

Well, certainly you remember that a number of my one shots started to incorporate what I call the Up Late universe, which is to say that they take place during the 2015 show, yes?

You all: Yes, we remember this.

Great! Excellent! Whelp...it's a new year, Mupps, and I promised at the end of last year, that THIS year 2020, I was gonna start all of those storisodes and well...I haven't started yet, but BUT I do have a one shot for that takes place in between Single All the Way and Swine Song that will of course jump start our new series that I will call...well, it's the Up Late universe, so we'll leave it at that.

Long story short...

You all: Too late.

I have a new one shot for you. This actually started as another story during my other random UL one shots and suddenly the other day, I had a really great scene that I decided I would add to the first one I started years ago and we have this. Needless to say, I had this scene in mind BEFORE getting the quick on Swine Song, so while the breakup between Kermit and Denise still happens in that episode, BUT I changed it to think that maybe Denise had been thinking about this before that episode.

Here's the first two sections for you and I hope to have the concluding sections up this weekend!



Title: On the Carpet
Summary:
An awards dinner spells doom for Kermit's relationships with...well, everyone.


The new year brings many different things to many different people. In Hollywood, a new year meant the start of award and charity season, with just about every week for the next two months inundated with every type of award show and charity dinner that could possibly happen within the first part of the year. For the executive producer of Up Late with Miss Piggy, the end of Christmas and the start of the new year seemed to finally put him on equal footing with, well, everything.

Kermit the Frog, had for better and hopefully not worse, put his relationships in order – he had made some peace with his ex-girlfriend, said host of Up Late, while also strengthening his relationship with his girlfriend of four months. It had been a little touch and go, to be honest; the whole first half of their show had been chaotic, more so than normal, but most of that tension had been between him and Miss Piggy after their very rough and somewhat bitter breakup.

Clearly there hadn’t been that many hard feelings on either side because why else would she have asked her ex to be the executive producer of her show and why in the world would he even agree to work with her again when he had been so very adamant of not seeing her again? But literally ten minutes before the airing of their Christmas show, the two of them had at least made a breakthrough on what they really were to each other. They weren’t together, that was for sure, but Kermit reaffirmed something that he had hoped had been happening for the last few months –

They were becoming friends or rather, he hoped they were friends. It would be an effort on Piggy’s part, he knew, given that she still clearly held feelings for him and while he certainly wouldn’t deny that he was completely over her – he technically wasn’t – but he couldn’t still pine away when their previous relationship had more downs than ups. He had broken up with her for a reason, a good reason at that, and it was indicative of their relationship as a whole that it was mostly break ups and make ups.

And if Kermit was honest, completely honest, with himself, he liked being friends with Piggy. There was a level of friendship they had never experienced when they had been dating and while they still traded barbs and tried to one-up each other on occasion, it didn’t seem to be malicious and it wasn’t heralded by destructive words that hit too close to home.

Today was looking up, too.

Piggy had been in great spirits since coming back from vacation and the two of them had exchanged a few texts, but it had been a relatively quiet winter vacation. He and Denise did stuff too, he thought; strangely, the frog had a little trouble trying to remember what things they had done together, but he was pretty sure they had done a ton of things. He and Fozzie had gone over his new routine, he and Gonzo had seen just about every winter movie that came out, along with taking Fozzie to see any movies that he may have missed.

It had been a pretty good and very relaxing time off, to the point that when his first interruption came in that day, he hadn't been completely prepared for it.

Kermit had been sitting in his office, speaking with Denise about their plans for later, which the frog had pretty much left up to whatever his girlfriend wanted to do. He was pretty happy in letting Denise take charge of their relationship, allowing him to just sit back and enjoy a perfectly stable and non-confrontational relationship.

That of course changed when someone slapped down a number of tickets on his desk, thus disturbing the peace he tried so hard to find and maintain. Looking up, Kermit shouldn’t have been surprised – and truthfully, he wasn’t – at the usual suspects that stood before his desk. “Can I help you?” he asked, already knowing whatever it was they wanted would ultimately doom him and his so far, peaceful day.

Pointing a satin glove at the tickets on the desk, the star of Up Late, Miss Piggy, declared, “Tickets to the annual Starforth Dinner.”

“We’re not going,” head writer Gonzo the Great added.

“We don’t want to go,” piped up announcer and co-host Fozzie Bear.

“We’re totally striking on this,” finished business manager and assistant producer Scooter Grosse.

“As the – ahem -” Piggy interrupted, looking at the others. “Speaker of the house, as it were, Moi would like to formally inform you that we are not attending this year’s dinner.”

Kermit just glared at all four. The Starforth Dinner was a celebrity dinner held at the Starforth resort and usually held a charity event that most wanted to participate in. The problem, of course, was that these events were usually more networking and less charity or the charity in question wasn’t nearly as…helpful as one would hope. This year was the eighth such year and the second in which the Up Late crew would be involved, however it was the sixth time the Muppets as a whole had been invited and the third they had participated in.

Normally, the group loved charity events, especially those that focused on charities that were near and dear to them, which is why having to attend the Starforth event felt like a slap in the face. Any entertainer will tell you that no publicity is technically bad publicity and the Muppets weren’t too proud to beg, borrow, or even stage their own charity events if it meant they could get out to their fans. But there were lines they wouldn’t cross and Starforth just happened to start being one of those lines.

“So let me get this straight,” the frog began, rubbing one of his temples. “The star, announcer-slash-co-host -” Here, Piggy interrupted him by clearing her throat loudly; she never did like the fact that Fozzie was technically considered her co-host on the show, the Ed McMahan to her Johnny Carson so to speak. “Co-host, head writer, and associate producer of Up Late with Miss Piggy have decided to not attend the Starforth Dinner because, you know, that makes sense.”

“Hey, the two of you,” Gonzo said, pointing between Kermit and Piggy, and completely ignoring the cute little way Denise wrinkled her nose when he did. “Are more than happy to go. Us lesser cast and crew members don’t need to be in attendance.”

“Moi doesn’t even need to be there,” Piggy protested. “This is purely for administrative purposes. I am not your girlfriend anymore.” Gesturing to the frog’s current girlfriend, she said, “Take Denise.”

Said current girlfriend was a little shocked and surprised at the way she had been singled out. She hadn’t spent a ton of time with Kermit’s friends – in fact, her boyfriend seemed to spend more time with them than he did with her – and to be honest, she was nearly convinced that they didn’t particularly like her, not if they were adamant about her spending time with their boss.

“And she’s the marketing manager!” Scooter exclaimed. “She can promo this stuff all over the place!”

“See, that’s perfect,” Gonzo added. “We stay home, you take Denise, and the two of you can…cross promote or whatever the heck it is you two do.” The writer tried to avoid the look he was receiving from the self-appointed speaker of the house, but ended up turning an annoyed glare on her. “What?”

“Listen to me very carefully,” Kermit growled. It wasn’t like he wanted to go to this thing either; he actually didn’t enjoy going to these types of things in the first place and if he was honest, it was only having Piggy by his side that made those evenings enjoyable in the first place. It fact, a few of those events he might even call fun because the others had been there as well.

And there was no way he was going by himself.

“The five of us are going to that dinner, so I suggest you all get prettied up and be on your best behavior at this thing. And I swear if I have to drive to each of your doors, like I had to do last time, I will be very unhappy.”

“Well, that’s not gonna happen,” Fozzie huffed.

“Kermit,” Denise piped up, placing a supportive hand on his shoulder. “I can certainly go with you, if you’d like.”

“See?” Piggy pointed. “Denise wants to go. She literally and maybe even figuratively, wants to go!”

“Take her with you!” Scooter added.

“Oh, the four of you would like that, wouldn’t you?” the frog spat.

The four looked at him in stunned silence. “Yes!” Piggy exclaimed. “We…we just now got finished saying that!”

“Pressure’s finally got him,” Gonzo muttered.

“Alright, that’s it,” Kermit announced. Pointing to his office, he said, “Everybody out.”

While the other four were displaying some annoyance at being driven out, Denise reluctantly took a step back and began to turn to leave. “Oh no,” Kermit said, holding the smaller pig back with his hand. “Denise, you can stay. The four of you, get out.”

The four disgruntled cast and crew members began to shuffle out, with Kermit hearing Scooter’s muttered, “Producer’s pet” as he passed Denise. “Don’t forget your tickets,” the frog continued, pushing them towards the annoyed Gonzo, who snatched them up in irritation. Both Kermit and Denise watch the quartet stomp out, solidarity in their reluctance to be a part of an upcoming dinner they all loathe to attend.

“Those four are the reason I have no hair.”

Denise looked down at the frog, running a fond hair over his head. “Did you have hair before?” she asked.

“No,” he muttered. “But if I did, I would’ve pulled it out by now.”

“Is this dinner really so bad?”

Kermit huffed, before sighing. “It’s more annoying than bad,” he admitted. “It’s literally just a spectacle of who can show up to promote their own thing, despite this being an actual dinner for charity. Believe me, the majority of people who go are there for their own charity benefit.”

“Well,” the brunette cooed. “I certainly wouldn’t mind going with you. Show of support from your girlfriend.” She had hoped the reaction form her boyfriend would be excitement, their first award show dinner, a place where he could show people he had moved on from Miss Piggy and that he was in much more stable and non-toxic relationship that had been the topic of so many magazines and headlines.

What she got was a seemingly aggravated huff and what she normally saw when her frog had any dealings with the show or anyone from the show – complete distraction. And like a light turning on, Kermit turned to her, as though just remembering she had been standing there this entire time. “What, babe?”

“I said I wouldn’t mind going,” she repeated. “To this dinner thing.”

“Really?” he asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I mean, that’s great. I…I want you to go, but you don’t have to. I mean -” He pointed towards the door. “None of us want to go to this thing, but publicity and all.”

“Of course,” she nodded, staring at him. “Regardless, I wouldn’t be a very good girlfriend if I let you just suffer with the others, right?”

It took a moment before Kermit uttered a word, forming “Right” complete with a slight laugh. Something passed between them, but neither knew exactly what it was or rather, Kermit wasn’t sure what it was, though later after he thought about it, it seemed to be the very writing on the wall he had been ignoring for a few months. Denise felt it too, a strange disconnect that seemed to be growing between them or that had perhaps always been there from the start.


[hr]


Trying to appeal to the frog had probably been a mistake, but it was something that had to be done if they wanted to avoid the angry arm waving that occurred when they had all tried to skipped out on the golf tournament last year. But it meant that they were now stuck going, with no recourse of calling it off because Kermit would indeed drive by their houses if he thought they wouldn’t show up. So that left Piggy, Gonzo, and Fozzie standing at the snack table trying to figure out who they would now need to take to this thing.

“Who’re you going with?” Piggy asked, grabbing a cookie and breaking off a piece. She had taken the last one apparently, seeing as Fozzie let out a whine of disappointment that had her huff and roll her eyes before she handed over the rest of the cookie.

“No one,” Gonzo said, clearly still annoyed at their earlier meeting. “Obviously. Camilla’s out of town.”

“Why don’t you take your other girlfriend?”

“Ha ha.”

While Gonzo would always be a part of his friendship trio with Kermit and Fozzie, he had found a similar personality with friend and current roommate, Rizzo the Rat. The two were literal peas in a pod, having the same ideas on schemes and everything else; it was to the point that the others, even Gonzo’s own girlfriend, categorized the rat as the weirdo’s ‘other’ girlfriend.

It was testament of their friendship that the weirdo didn’t take offense to the suggestion, especially when he had considered it within five minutes of receiving his ticket. “And I can’t,” he continued. “Rizzo’s out of town visiting family and I’m not about to unleash Pepe on unsuspecting people.” Snapping his fingers, Gonzo looked at Piggy and asked, “Hey, why don’t we go together?”

“What?” Piggy spat. “No. Ew. Gross.”

“Who’re you going with, Piggy?” asked Fozzie.

“Well, no one now,” she pouted. “Moi didn’t even want to go in the first place.”

“Then go with me!” Gonzo protested.

“No,” repeated the diva. “Fozzie doesn’t have a date either. I may as well go with him.”

“You would rather go with Fozzie than go with me?”

“Uh, excuse you!” Fozzie interrupted, throwing annoyed looks at both. “Fozzie is standing right here and I am a fantastic date, thank you very much!”

“Gonzo has a great idea,” the weirdo replied. “Problem solved. Fozzie and I will go together and you can go with Scooter.”

“Moi can’t go with Scooter,” Piggy said. “Because Scooter has a date.”

“Say what?” asked Fozzie. “With who?”

“How does Scooter have a date and the three of us don’t?” Gonzo demanded.

“I don’t know, Gonzo!” Piggy mocked, though it did bring about an interesting question that she herself had asked and hadn’t gotten a direct answer on. “But Moi is gonna find out.”

“Do that, please!” Gonzo exclaimed, watching the diva walk off in a huff. As an afterthought, he threw out, “See if she has any friends!” Seeing the look Fozzie gave him, he shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to ask.”


Stay tuned for more!
 

WebMistressGina

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The Starforth Banquet Dinner was normally a small event, despite attracting and inviting several A through D-list celebrities to attend. As Kermit had noted to his girlfriend and as others had noted in the past, the banquet dinner was pretty much an excuse for those in attendance to discuss charities that may or may not have existed, as well as to get funding for such endeavors.

Anyone that was invited that believed this was a…noble event was definitely taken aback when presented with the award like atmosphere and red carpet appeal. Because it was considered a lesser event, the paparazzi wasn’t as heavy, but it didn’t mean there wasn’t some sort of camera activity or even interview booth that would help promote whatever celebrity was there to promote.

Like his boss, Scooter Grosse never really enjoyed these types of events, with the attention focused on whoever managed to make in front of the camera first. The gofer turned associate producer always liked being behind the scenes rather than being front and center, though he certainly enjoyed performing, but he always found he was better suited to organization. Hence why he had made himself invaluable to the frog in just about every aspect of their productions.

Tonight was just another event that Scooter didn’t truly want to be at, though this time things seemed to be a looking up, thanks to his date. Amanda Cosgrove had been a co-worker when Scooter had been at Google, but the two had begun to spend a lot of their together while there, observing a very clear attraction and interest in each other. Unfortunately, Scooter got called back to the Muppets and Amanda had been transferred to one of the east coast offices, so any dating prospects had put on indefinite hold.

At least until Amanda had returned to the west coast for a joint project.

It had only been a few weeks, but the two had seemingly picked up where they had left off a few years ago and Scooter hadn’t hesitated to invite her as his date to this banquet; if he had to suffer at this thing, he had least wanted to have something beautiful to look at. In hindsight, he knew he could’ve still enjoyed himself if he had gone with Piggy, but at this point it felt as though well…he was going to the prom with his mother, which he did not want to repeat ever again.

Thankfully, the two red heads had only been on the so-called red carpet – despite the carpet being a deep purple – for a few minutes before Scooter caught sight of the others coming towards them; or rather, the trio of Muppets had seen the gorgeous red head first and realized that her arm had been intertwined with that of their friend and associate boss. “Hey,” he greeted, turning at their approach.

Dress code for the evening was like any other celebrity event, black tie formal, and the cast of Up Late did not skimp. Fozzie Bear had donned his favorite and nicest tux, though he did call both Gonzo and Piggy to come over to help tie his tie; Gonzo through in a little flair as he was wont to do, with a deep purple jacket that matched his bow tie, while Scooter had taken Piggy on one of her many suggestions on throwing some designer color in his wardrobe, going with a red vest under his black jacket that also matched the red bow tie he had gone with.

The ladies for the evening had of course gotten dolled up, with Amanda Cosgrove going with a flattering red ball gown that matched the hue of her dark red hair and seemed to bring out the sparkle in her green eyes. Piggy, never one to turn down the opportunity to dress up, had gone with a dark blue sequin cocktail gown that accentuated her own figure and gave a highlight to her dangerous baby blues.

“Andrew,” Piggy cooed, running a few fingers fondly over his tie. “Always dashingly handsome at these things.”

“Miss Piggy,” Scooter countered, sending the diva a flirty smile. “A stunning vision, of course.”

“Careful there, Scooter,” interrupted the weirdo. “You’re gonna make your date jealous and she’ll have to move on to someone else. Like me. The Great Gonzo, at your service.”

“You don't wanna spend your time with this lunatic,” Fozzie piped up. “Woman love a guy who’s funny and no one is as funny as yours truly.”

Amanda actually laugh at that, causing Scooter to throw her a look. “Don’t encourage this,” he joked, though he did so with a smile. “Amanda Cosgrove, Fozzie Bear, the Great Gonzo, and Miss Piggy; guys, Amanda Cosgrove.” After introductions had been made, the next logical question came from the associate producer’s lips.

“Where’s Kermit?”

“Good question,” Piggy replied, looking around the area.

“If Kermit made us come to this thing and bailed on us…” Gonzo muttered.

“I say we drive over and make sure he’s coming,” Fozzie said.

“You think he’s running late?” asked Amanda.

“He’d better be,” Piggy huffed.

“Well,” Scooter stated. “Keep an eye out. Mandy and I are gonna go grab a table somewhere in the back, near a dark corridor and surrounded by exits.”

The two red heads began to head off, only stopped by a few camera people and reporters, halting them before they could grab a coveted seat in the back. Which of course is when Kermit showed up in chauffeured car, stepping out in all his tuxedo glory. He looked none the worse for wear, though there was something that did seem to be amiss when he reached the trio waiting for him.

“Vous was this close to having us driving to your house,” the diva greeted.

“Well, I figured if I tried to run and hide,” Kermit retorted. “You four would try to find me.”

“Uh, you bet we would.” Gonzo huffed.

Seeing their associate producer on the carpet with a lovely red head on his arm, Kermit couldn’t help but ask, “Who’s the red head with Scooter?”

“That’s Scooter’s date,” Piggy supplied. “Amanda.”

“How does Scooter get a date and the four us don’t?”

All three turned to the frog. “What are you talking about?” Piggy asked, surprised. “You have a date.” Looking around, the thing that seemed to be missing was now seemingly apparent. “Where is your date?”

“My date is at home, sick.”

“Is she really sick?” asked the diva, a knowing look thrown at the frog. “Or did she not want to come?”

Both Fozzie and Gonzo looked at each other. “Why didn’t we think about calling out sick?” the former asked.

“She’s really sick,” Kermit huffed. “She has the flu.”

There are moments when the door is open for a perfectly timed joke. The Muppets, and thus Fozzie Bear, were usually primed to see the door opening and walking through it; or in many cases, storming right through. And that was why he said what he did, heedless of any consequences that could come from the diva only one weirdo away.

“Swine flu?” Fozzie nearly exclaimed. Seeing the annoyed looks at came from the frog and pig and instead concentrating on the muffled laugh that Gonzo tried to hold back. “Oh come on! You left that door wide open! And if I hadn’t said it, Gonzo would’ve.”

Throwing his own look at the bear – he wasn’t particular about being thrown under the bus like that – Gonzo tried and failed to look the duo to his left in the eye and with a straight face. “I…” he chuckled. “Yeah, I would’ve. Yeah.”

“If Denise is really and truly sick,” Piggy said, pointing at the well dressed frog. “Then you stay the furthest away from us. You’ve probably caught it.”

“No, I didn’t,” Kermit replied, glaring at Piggy. “And haven’t.”

“Did you see Denise before you got here?”

“Yes.”

“Then vous probably caught something.”

“I am not sick.”

“Not yet!”

“You are being paranoid.”

“Moi is being cautious.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is crazy.”

“Kermit,” the diva sighed. “Darling, light of my life…Moi was with you for like a thousand years and in all that time, whenever Moi got sick, it was because of you. Vous are a walking germ factory, letting out bursts of microscopic bacteria ready to infect people.”

“You’re insane,” Kermit retorted.

“And you are the walking dead,” Piggy countered. “You’re most likely contagious. Stay away from us!”

“What’s going on?”

As was his innate intuition, Scooter had seemingly appeared out of nowhere to stand in front of the group. “Oh, uh,” Gonzo began, pointing at both the diva and the producer as he did. “Piggy’s gone crazy and Kermit’s a walking germ factory.”

“What?” Amanda asked, confused.

“Ignore them,” Kermit stated. “I know it’s hard, but it’s just better to pretend like they aren’t there.” Holding out his hand, he introduced himself. “Kermit the Frog.”

“Amanda Cosgrove.”

“Wash your hands after you touch him.”

“Shut up, Piggy!” Turning to the second red head, who clearly was equally confused and slightly scared, Kermit explained, “My girlfriend couldn’t attend tonight because she is sick with the flu.”

“Swine flu?” Scooter asked, smiling, causing the others to once again laugh at the joke. Kermit’s eyes and irritation turned where they normally did, at the diva that stood giggling on his right.

“What?” she questioned. “It’s funny the second time.”


[hr]


Having the flu was the worse. And the fact that it happened on a night when she was supposed to be showing support for her boyfriend made it even more miserable.

Denise had felt the oncoming feelings of fatigue and sickness two days beforehand, but had hoped it was just the run of the mill colds until she had woken up sweating and shivering. She had felt horrible about calling Kermit and telling him that she wouldn’t be able to make it tonight. Her feelings for the frog had been growing steadily, however there always seemed to be something – or rather, someone or someones – that put a block between them. She knew it wasn’t Kermit, per se – he was the executive producer for a late night television show, after all, and it seemed as though he was the only one who could keep the cast and crew in line when needed.

And Denise understood all that, she did! The problem was there always seemed to be something in the way, something that always took Kermit’s attention away from her, from them. The southern born pig thought she could handle this, thought she could understand just what it was that these people, her boyfriend’s friends, held over him that could lead him to such distractions and as much as she tried to reason and explain to herself, it always came back to one person.

If this had been any other person or any other show, it would be one thing, but Kermit the Frog was the executive producer of Up Late with Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy being his ex-girlfriend. Denise didn’t want to be jealous, she didn’t, especially when it looked like both Kermit and Piggy were trying their best to be friends in order to make the show work. And Denise liked Piggy, she did! She was intimidating as all get out and probably invented the word diva, but Denise had seen and heard the person that was underneath all of that.

As much as the diva stated that she couldn’t stand the others and they drove her as crazy as they did the frog, surely she would’ve vetoed anyone she didn’t truly like. Instead, she had not only suggested and hired back the insane bunch that were the Muppets, but she had enlisted the help of the ex-boyfriend who had, clearly, broken her heart. Piggy could’ve made her life, their lives, very difficult and Denise almost thought she had in those first few months, but aside from a few flare ups – mostly from the ex-couple – life had been, rather enjoyable on set.

The brunette had been worried that Piggy would use her position or Kermit’s position to try and win Kermit back, to try to put him in compromising situations that would make Kermit question his new relationship or even make her jealous, but she hadn’t. And Denise wasn’t completely blind – even if things were slightly out of focus when she wasn’t wearing her glasses – she knew some of the things the two did to each other were backed by Kermit; for as much as he may have complained about the diva, there were stunts that Kermit had pulled to get back at Piggy or did to undermine just how authority she had with the others.

It was a strange dynamic that Denise didn’t want to even comprehend and had decided to stop trying to understand.

But it did bring to light something the two clearly hadn’t discussed or maybe even acknowledged – Piggy still had feelings for Kermit, that was as clear as day and Denise was starting to think that perhaps Kermit may still have feelings for her in turn. It wasn’t a suspicion, more like a feeling, especially considering that much of the stuff Kermit dealt with usually involved Piggy in some way. And it wasn’t just the frog leaping to save the diva from whatever trouble she got into either.

Denise had seen and was starting to see it more and more. There was a look the two of them had with each other, a longing one might say, and something she tended to see from Piggy when the diva thought no one was looking. Denise had seen it a few times on her boyfriend’s face as well and was actually starting to see it more and more.

She shook her head. It was the flu making her think this way. Kermit had been a doll when she called, coming over before heading to the banquet to drop off some soup for her and just generally checking on her to make sure she was alright. He had been the normal sweet self, inquiring about her, and if she needed anything else, he was more than happy to get one of the monsters or Uncle Deadly to stop by for her.

That alone should have satisfied her, but some addled part of her fever insisted that if Kermit truly cared about her, he would’ve offered to stay. It was a selfish thought, she knew, but so often Kermit tended to put the others before her and this was a perfect situation in which he could’ve proved that she was the priority and that she was just as important as his ex and their friends.

But that wasn’t what happened and Denise, not wanting to let her illness dictate her relationship, watched her boyfriend go and leave her to watch the start of this event on low budget cable. Which is what she was doing right now. Wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by tissues, soup, and cough syrup, Denise sat on her couch and flipped to the channel Scooter mentioned might have the pre-carpet attractions. The Starforth Dinner wasn’t as big as say the Academy Awards, but it attracted enough attention that reporters and paparazzi wanted to get their shot at a celebrity and fame.

In order to show that it was just as important as other banquets, there was at least two different interview booths that had been placed around the area. On the current channel, that booth was manned by comediennes Kathy Griffin and Lily Tomlin, who appeared to be just shooting the breeze as though this was a normal day for them, despite being surrounded by a boon of different stars. Fate must’ve thought the young pig couldn’t suffer worse because she happened to switch on the TV just at the moment Griffin spotted Kermit and Piggy.

Now, Denise had to remind herself that she was not a jealous pig; she wasn’t. She had known full well that Piggy was going to be in attendance and as far as she had heard, she couldn’t remember the diva mentioning that she was going with anyone. In fact, she vaguely remembered Gonzo or Fozzie asking if she wanted to go with one of them. Either way, Piggy was without a date and with Denise sitting there on the couch, it also meant Kermit was without a date.

And as what always occurred whenever Kermit and Piggy were seen together, everyone assumed they were actually together.

Both Griffin and Tomlin were long time friends of the Muppets and the former couple, so inviting them into the booth was a no-brainer. And Denise had to give it up to both Kermit and Piggy, who immediately squashed any rumors that they were getting back together and even mentioning that the former had a girlfriend; that of course came about as Piggy kept stating that Kermit was a ‘plague’ factory and that the two should be careful touching him. It was done in jest, clearly the diva making jokes with someone she had not only known, but dated, for several years.

And it could have been left at that, if the live feed cameras hadn’t picked up what Denise had been seeing for a while now.

Despite declaring Kermit a plague ridden factory of disease, it didn’t seem to stop her from leaning into Kermit from time to time or even whispering in his ear about something that caused him to laugh. And if the joking was annoying or irritating on his side, Kermit showed he was the perfect gentleman, keeping a hand on Piggy’s lower back to steady her. It was no wonder people thought they had been together, even before they had gotten together, and now when they weren’t together.

It was hard to deny what was clearly being caught on camera, but Denise did her best to make the situation look different than what she saw. Kermit and Piggy were friends, that was all, and they had been in a long-term relationship for a very long time, so of course they would care about each other. There was nothing there and certainly, Kermit wasn’t the kind of guy or frog that would keep another girl on the side…

But did that really matter? He may not be seeing Piggy on the side, but he clearly hadn’t moved on from the feelings he’d once had for her. And if that was true, where did that leave them?


[hr]


It took less than fifteen minutes before Kermit and Piggy had been shanghaied by a reporter, though ‘reporter’ was given loosely seeing as it was just Kathy Griffin and snagged cohort Lily Tomlin. The two should’ve known what they would’ve gotten into, because Kathy was just as bad as Joan Rivers whenever she and Piggy were in the same room together and adding Lily in the mix was instant doom in Kermit’s mind because it meant this ‘interview’ would eventually stray off course.

Which it did and in record time, too – as soon as Piggy walked up the steps, she announced that he should be banned because he was a ‘plague ridden factory’. He could’ve punched her for that and Piggy knew it, gave she threw him a saucy look and a wink that did nothing – completely – to soothe his feelings. But he was a good boyfriend and explained that his poor girlfriend, who was decidedly not Piggy, was at home sick with the flu. That, once again, opened the doors to the swine flu joke, which Piggy – once again – laughed at, stating that the third time made it hilarious.

From there, it hadn’t exactly been an interview. Most of their interviews usually weren’t – when one gets to talking with the Muppets, it’s pretty much like having a standard conversation with someone you haven’t seen in a while. That was especially true for the two comediennes in the booth – they were long time friends, so most of their interactions were just tossing jokes back and forth until it was time for the two Muppets to leave and find the seats Scooter had rounded up for them.

Right as they were leaving, Kathy called them back slightly, bending over to whisper to both. Apparently, their other friend Rosie O’Donnell had started a legitimate charity drive that run counter to the sham that was the Starforth Dinner and Kathy wanted to know if the Muppets were in to donate and possibly promote. While she had several different philanthropic endevours and achievements, O’Donnell focused on several different charities that were close to her heart, including Rosie’s For All Kids Foundation, a project that both Kermit, Piggy, and the troupe as a whole contributed to.

The decision to participate was easily done.

And it seemed that O’Donnell wasn’t the only one running a legitimate charity banquet under a very sketchy one. Right as the former power couple were to enter the banquet, they were stopped by the other three members of their cast and crew, where they promptly told them about Rosie and were then promptly told by Scooter that both Paula Poundstone and Lady Gaga were also promoting their actual charities and foundations under the guise of the current banquet.

“Oh,” Scooter added. “Stefani also invited us to her after party. Are we going?”

“Uh, yeah,” Gonzo said, giving the red head a look. “Ain’t no party like a Gaga party.”

“True that,” Piggy agreed.

That conversation had taken place nearly four hours ago, with three hours being devoted to the dinner none of them wanted to be at and culminating in an after party that was thankfully no where near the banquet hall, which meant no one they didn’t want to associate with knew where they were.

And for Kermit, that ultimately meant that his girlfriend most likely had no idea where he was.

“Hey,” Piggy asked, nudging him from his current conversation with Gonzo. “Does your girlfriend know where you are?”

Kermit rolled his eyes. “Uh yeah,” he said, his tone stating exactly what he thought of that question. “I was supposed to come here with her, remember?”

“No, dummy,” she huffed. “I mean does she know you’re here at this after party that started three hours after that dinner you didn’t want to go to?”

It took a beat before Kermit came to the realization that, no, Denise had no idea that he was going to this after party. “Oh,” he whispered. “Oh yeah. I should probably let her know where I am.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and immediately hit the power button to bring the phone out of sleep mode.

Only…it didn’t wake up. In fact, it told him very clearly that it was dead and would need to be resuscitated.

“And my phone is dead,” he sighed. Holding out his hand, he said, “Gimme your phone.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

Kermit huffed in annoyance. “You just told me to call her!”

“Oh my god,” Piggy grumbled, before turning her own annoyed look on the frog. “Do you think it’s a good idea to call your current girlfriend using your ex-girlfriend’s phone, Kermit?”

Again, it only took a beat before the very connotations slammed into his brain, screaming at him that, no, calling Denise while using Piggy’s phone was not a good idea. But he didn’t have to let Piggy know that right away, so he kept the glare up for about a minute before saying, “Yeah, that’s a good point. Fozzie, hand me your phone.”

Piggy leaned back in her chair and huffed. “You are hopeless.”

“That’s what I have you for,” he retorted.

“Obviously.”

Denise was still awake when her phone rang, showing that Fozzie Bear was calling her for some reason. The actual banquet had been closed, so no cameras were allowed in, so the southern pig had switched channels, coming upon some romantic comedy that she barely remembered; she had drifted off after about fifteen minutes, but had woken up about two hours later when the credits began to run and the next movie was starting. It had been another hour after that when Denise was sure Kermit would’ve texted her, letting her know what was happening or if he was having fun or not; however, her phone was pretty much silent other than a few emails that came in and a few updates on her social media account.

Wondering how the night was going, she sent him a text, then another just to add a joke to her previous statement. She knew he wouldn’t respond right away, it was a miracle he answered his phone in a timely manner period, but he would usually get some word that his phone had gone off and he would respond as soon as he saw her message. However, an hour passed, well past the time the dinner should have finished, but she hadn’t gotten a text or even a phone call.

Which was why a call coming from Fozzie raised the hair on the back of her neck. Had something happened?

“Hello?”

“Hey! Hey, Denise, it’s…it’s me.”

“Kermit?” she asked. “Why are you calling from Fozzie’s phone?”

“Oh, ha ha,” he chuckled. “Cause mine is dead and in critical need of being charged apparently.”

It was clear from the background that her frog was…somewhere loud, as she could hear music being played in the background. Denise wasn’t too worried, as it sounded as though the others were with him – he was using Fozzie’s phone, so clearly the comic bear was with him; she thought she heard Gonzo in the background, yelling about someone getting a purse and then telling Kermit to tell ‘her’ to get a purse. Piggy, of course, was there because Denise could hear her retort to Gonzo’s complaint with a ‘Moi has a purse’ followed by Gonzo’s ‘then use them!’.

“Where are you?”

“Oh, I’m at uh…” he began, clearing his throat a couple of times. “So, Lady Gaga, you know Lady Gaga? She was hosting this after party, so we all…so we’re here…at that…how ya feelin’, baby? Better?”

“Well,” the pig said, adjusting herself and her blanket. “I’m not shivering anymore and I’ll probably need to take more medicine before I go to bed. So, how was the banquet? You said Lady Gaga was there?”

“How’s that?”

“The banquet?” she asked again. “How was it?”

“Oh yeah,” Kermit said, though it sounded as he had pulled the phone away. “It was…what? Wait…hold on, Denise. What?”

“Where is your phone!?”

“In my pocket,” Kermit stated. Turning back to his conversation with his girlfriend, he said, “It was boring, like normal. Right pocket. It wasn’t even…my right, Piggy! It was boring, but we discovered something very interesting. Actually, cause I have you, can you remember that we’ll need to set up some time for For All Kids and Born This Way? We’ve got a couple of favors to put in.”

“And we need to book Stefani on the show,” she heard Scooter state.

“Hey, we can do Bad Romance.”

“Yes! We’ve wanted to do that for years!”

“Only if you can find room for it, Piggy,” Kermit admonished. “We only got like thirty minutes…”

“We will make time, Kermit!”

“Let’s just make it one show,” Gonzo suggested.

“That’s brilliant,” Piggy replied. “Scooter, put that in rotation.”

“Hey, hello, let’s talk this over with the executive producer,” Kermit interrupted. “Oh wait, that’s me!”

“You’re on the phone.”

“Obviously.”

“Uh Kermit?”

“Sorry!” the frog started. “Sorry, Denise, I’m here. So, you said you were feeling better?”

Denise nodded, slightly to herself, and tried to keep her comments to herself as well. She had mentioned she felt somewhat better, but apparently the scheduling and marketing for two foundations and a Lady Gaga show held more precedence than how she was actually feeling. As soon as the thought entered her mind, she tried to banish it; that was unfair. Kermit’s mind just worked that way, always wanting to help and be helpful to people, especially those he considered his friends and family.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “I’m feeling a little better.”

“Oh excellent,” he said. “Hey listen, I’m gonna get my phone charged and then leave at some point. But I’ll come over, okay?”

“Sure,” she said. She actually wondered if he would remember that statement and actually show up, but before she could say anything, Kermit was telling her goodbye and she heard the three beeps that signaled that the call had ended. Denise sighed again, looking down at her phone, a million thoughts roaring in her head.

When she had first noticed Kermit the Frog, he was setting up the show as best as he could, considering that it was his ex’s show he was running. There was something about watching the captain of the crew maintain the chaos that flowed around him, the eye of the proverbial hurricane as it was, and do such an incredible job that it didn’t ever seem to phase him. It was such an interesting sight, a delicate balance between holding and losing the sanity that he desperately tried to keep.

She couldn’t lie – it was extremely attractive, the confidence that contributed to holding down the fort was alluring. The fact that he was also extremely nice and kindhearted had made him even more attractive to her and then learning that he was single meant that she might…might have a chance. Denise never imagined that the frog would have an interest in her, too.

But maybe…maybe it wasn’t meant to be. They had a lot in common, that was for sure, but Kermit’s work life always seemed to intrude on their personal life, which was ironic as he had told her that was the main issue he had when he was with Miss Piggy. Denise knew the work he did was important, but she was starting to realize that his work was…everything to him and that it was the main focus of his life. Strange as it may have been, Denise had thought about asking Piggy if she ever suffered the same thing; if Kermit had ever put work above their relationship and if that was perhaps another reason why their very long term relationship had failed.

Maybe it was the flu, maybe it was some clarity that was making its way through the fog of the flu, but Denise was met with a preview of how this relationship would continue to go. The question was…did she want it to continue?


[hr]


Five hours was probably five hours too long, but Kermit had to admit that the night had been far more productive than he would have given it credit. While the Starforth Dinner was a waste of a perfectly good Thursday, the moments that had taken place weren’t – discovering that there were others who dreaded having to come to this thing and were actively making steps to actually make their charities known and focused was a treat, especially when a number of their friends were providing the means to help those that needed it.

Kermit, and by proxy the Muppets, never turned down a charity that helped kids or helped to provide education for those who didn’t have access to it and they would jump at the chance to promote and support these foundations. He admitted it – sometimes work took precedence over other aspects of his life; he couldn’t help it. His mind housed a volume of ideas, some that he couldn’t wait to tell the others and then of course, those ideas would be met with ideas from the others, so he would need to add those to the ones he already had.

On top of that was his strange super powered ability to handle the lunatics that made up the show.

It seemed to be something he was made to do and something he was apparently far too good at; everyone seemed to listen to him, up to a point, and he managed to keep everyone in line.

Up to a point.

It had to be that reason for Piggy to hire him as the executive producer of her talk show, especially after they had been broken up for a good two months. He should’ve said no, he probably should’ve said no, but as with anything that involved Piggy, when she called him, telling him she needed him, that was all it took.

Even Piggy felt it – why on earth would she want to see the same frog everyday that had broken her heart? Kermit was a hands on leader, always on set, always keeping a watch on what was going on. She knew, had to have known, that Kermit wasn’t just going to sit in his office all day long, which meant they would absolutely have some sort of interaction while he was a part of the show. And she hadn’t even made him just a part of the show – he was the executive producer, which meant he pretty much had overall control of her show.

It didn’t make sense on paper, but when had Kermit and Piggy ever made sense when together in the first place?

But in this reality, Kermit had another girlfriend, who was at home suffering from the flu and he had spent five hours out on the town. Knowing he would definitely need to make this up to her any way he could, Kermit said his goodbyes to Lady Gaga, JGL, Tony Bennett, and a few more people before he went past his own table on the way out. And while Fozzie and Gonzo were distracted by comedian Aziz Ansari and Scooter was distracted by his date, Piggy wasn’t so distracted she didn’t see the frog start to head out.

“Heading out, Kermie?”

Slinging his jacket over his shoulder, Kermit turned to address the voice. It was going on hour six and Piggy still looked as glamorous and gorgeous as she had been when he first saw her in the night. He had to constantly remind himself that he and Piggy were friends and because they were friends, it was perfectly normal for him to think her beautiful; he always thought she was and that certainly didn’t change because they weren’t dating anymore.

“Yeah,” he said, starting to feel the hopefully few drinks he managed to get down, a few he was sure he had finished from Fozzie and he knew that Piggy and Gonzo had finished a few of his. “I’ve had my obligatory dinner interaction for the night. And I have a sick girlfriend to check on.”

“Right, right.”

Reaching for her hand, he pulled her towards him. “Hey,” he whispered. “Thanks.”

“For what?” she asked, confused by the strange gratitude.

“For hanging out with me at this thing,” he said. “And you know, keeping me on the straight and narrow with my girlfriend.”

He had to thank Piggy for a lot, especially in regards to his relationship with Denise. She had saved his proverbial bacon more than once, especially when his requests would’ve normally gotten him a slap in the face or a complete rejection of ever talking to him again. Yes, the music box he had her get for Denise for her birthday had not only been a great idea, it had also been a major faux pas – no smart man or frog ever asks their ex to help them get a gift for their current girlfriend.

It was the desperation talking, he knew that now; he had been so busy with the show that when Denise said she didn’t want anything, he took her literally. So when Yolanda pretty much gave him a verbal slap in the face that, duh, of course his girlfriend would want a gift, from him, on her birthday, he had panicked. And unfortunately, there was only one person he knew was the perfect gift giver and that was Piggy.

So he couldn’t exactly blame her for getting a music box that would play their song whenever his current girlfriend opened it when he practically asked for retribution.

Piggy gave a one armed shrug, though she looked away to hide the slight blush that rising to her cheeks. “Yeah, well,” she started. “Denis is an alright kid.”

“She’s not a kid,” Kermit rebuffed. “She’s perfectly legal.”

“And you aren’t completely hopeless,” Piggy continued, disregarding anything to the contrary of her previous comment.

“That almost sounded like a compliment.”

Piggy chuckled. “Wasn’t supposed to be.”

He matched her chuckle with one of his own. “Still think I’m a walking plague factory?”

“Absolutely,” she stated. “But you’re my…I mean, our walking plague factory.”

Neither missed the slip, but both were well adapted at ignoring flare ups that could put them back into a situation that leaned far more romantic and reminiscent than their friendship should recall. “Right,” he said. “Anyway, I’m out.” In hindsight, the frog knew he had forgotten himself, even though the gesture was born out of friendly affection. He kissed her on the cheek, receiving one from her at the same time.

“Night, darlin’.”

“Night.”

There was a moment, because Kermit and Piggy always had moments between them, even when they were trying to avoid these moments. Maybe it was the term of endearment the frog hadn’t used in a while, something he had only used with Piggy; maybe it was the hours of banter and fun they’d had over the night; maybe it was the alcohol they had both been drinking…whatever it was, there was a moment between the two that felt like old times in new times.

“Tell the guys?” he asked, clearing his throat nervously.

“Of course.”

Moments between them could go from hot and heavy to frosty; in most recent times, they were friendly, a part of their relationship that they had completely overlooked while dating. Giving him a slight push, she commanded, “Go see your poor sick girlfriend. And if you come in tomorrow with even the hint of a sniffle, Moi is sending you home, capiche?”

Kermit chuckled, making his way towards the door. “Yes, ma’am.”

It didn’t take long for Kermit to get a car and pull away from the banquet. He made a quick stop for some hot tea before making his way towards his girlfriend’s house. Because his phone was still charging, he had no idea that it was nearly one in the morning by the time he actually reached Denise’s, so when she answered the door, drowsy from sleep and illness, Kermit realized that perhaps he should’ve checked his phone before arriving.

His apology was of course the tea, which had gone from hot to luke warm, and his own sleepiness meant that he just wanted to check on her, deliver the tea, and go home to his own house. Denise appreciated the gesture, she absolutely did, though the rude awakening made her more than a little miffed at why it took so long for her boyfriend to come by. Did his work really mean more than her? Did he maybe still have some lingering feelings for the star of Up Late?

Could she continue this relationship when she had so many doubts?

That was the question wasn’t it? And it was a question both Kermit and Denise would need to answer before the start of the season.


And that's it. This story would lead into Swine Song, where Denise officially breaks up with Kermit, though Piggy won't discover this for a number of episodes. All of this of course sets up the season two of our little show. Stay tuned for the very first storysode - Weekend at Piggy's!
 
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The Count

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Hmm, something feels, off, about this one. Only read the first full segment of the first post but it didn't feel right to me for some reason. Maybe it's me. I know that a good story has to have some sort of conflict to drive the narrative and a conflict resolution that generates feelings of humor or thoughtful emotion. But if Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo and Scooter are all against the Starforth dinner, they come to Kermit's office and potest/strike going, the first thing my mind thought of would be for Kermit to ask why they were striking the banquet altogether. Just getting angry and demanding their attending the function seems out of character. Then again, that was kind of the problem with the first half of the 2015 series, a general OOC-ness attempting to mesh with the more Hollywoodized version of the pilot live performance at that year's SDCCI of the show's true concept.

Hope this helps somewhat. *Shrugs.
 
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