Muppet Survivor

[minor muppetz]

Here is my attempt at a Muppet version of Survivor. Now, keep in mind that I don't watch survivor, and I don't like reality shows (I might change my mind when Americas Next Muppet is broadcast), and I am working as I go along. I have no set winner in mind, and I am not really doing an official "vote", but I am open to suggestions. Also, these episodes might not be written as frequently as my other posts (or even outlines). but enjoy!

Muppet Survivor

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen, it's Muppet Survivor! (we see the logo over a shot of an island). Our host is kermit The frog.
(cut to a shot of kermit The frog).
Kermit: hi ho, kermit the frog here, and welcome to Muppet Survivor. Our contestents are: Miss Piggy....
Miss Piggy: Moi will surley win! now where is my hair dryer...?
Kermit:... Fozzie bear....
Fozzie Bear: did you hear about the survivor who didn't win? he ended up getting....
kermit: ....The great Gonzo....
Gonzo: I am sure that I will win.
Kermit: ....The swedish Chef...
Swedish Chef: duu hop hwamp de survivor moopets! yayyy.....
Kermit: ... Pepe The King Prawn....
pepe: I will win, okay?
Kermit:.... janice...
Janice: like, I rully hope I win, fer sure!
Kermti: ... Bean Bunny...
Bean: oh, I am so cute, I am sure to win!
Kermit:... and Beauregard.
Beauregard: Why am I here?
Kermit: but first a commercial break.

(cut to muppet central, the controll room from The Jim Henson Hour, not the website)
Sam The eagle: i cannot beleive that the muppets are now doing a reality show.
Rizzo: it could be worse, sam.
Sam: How?
Rizzo: I could be participating on the show.

Announcer: and now, back to the show!
Kermit: okay, now our first activity will be building shelter for this island. let's start now!
Bean Bunny: oh, I've got my cute little shovel here. I will dig a burrow for myself.
Pepe: wait! I have to dig a home for myself, okay?
Kermit: yes, yes, you do.
Pepe: (blank stare, then panicky) I am doomed, okay!

Gonzo: hey, kermit, don't you think this outhouse would make good shelter?
Kermit: personally, no, but whatever makes you feel comfortable.

(cut to statler and waldorf watching the show from the muppet boarding house)
Statler: can you beleive that the muppets are doing a reality show?
Waldorf: No. What's next? A decent show?
(they laugh)

(in a garage of the boarding house)
Floyd: well, it looks like my woman janice is going to win.
Dr. teeth: well, I hope she gets voted off soon.
Floyd: why, man?
Animal: yeah! Why! Why!
Dr. Teeth: well, our ageant just called. we got a gig, but if janice is on the show, then we won't have a guitar player.
Zoot: oh, this is a serious problem.
Animal: serious! serious!
Lips: you said it, animal.
Floyd: well, theres nothing left to do but vote her off.
Animal: vote off! vote off!

(back to the show...)
Kermit: well, let's see how everybody is doing. Checks miss piggy first). Piggy, what is this!?
Miss Piggy: oh, this is my trailer. You said we could pack some items.
Kermit: yeah, but I didn't think you could carry the trailer. Let's see who's next. (goes to fozzie) hey, fozzie, that's a nice cave.
Fozzie Bear: yeah, a cave is where a bear should be.
(a bear comes out)
Bear: heyt! who said you coudl share this caev!?
Fozzie: ahh... (runs)

(cut to the living room of the boarding house, where Bobo, Scooter, camillia--holding a "Go Gonzo!" sign-- and spamela hamderson are watching)
Bobo: go fozzie, go!
Scooter: maybe fozzie will win, and maybe he won't.
Spamela: I am just upset that I wasn't chosen to participate.

(at Muppet Central...)
sam: I am disgraced that some of these weirdos are not finding shelter properly. i mean, pepe builds a tent? talk about lazy.
Nigel the Director: maybe so, sam, but it is allowed in the rule book.
Digit: I hate that I can't do any digital effects.
Crazy harry: (popping up) did somebody say "digital effects?" (sets off a digital explosion). (crazy harry wildly laughs).

Kermit: Nice tee pee, janice.
janice: thank You, fer sure!
Miss Piggy: you like her ...uh... Shelter?!
Kermit: well, she roughs it more than you...
Miss Piggy: hiiiyyyaa... (karate chops kermit)

Sam: (watching) well, at least her shelter is done the way that the american indians did it.

(back to the electric mayhem watching)
Zoot: yay! go, janice, go.
Dr. Teeth: don't you rememebr, zoot?
Zoot: remember what?
Floyd: we're hoping for her to get voted off so she can play with us in concert.
Zoot: oh, oh yeah.

Kermit: and here is beauregard. Nice log cabin, bo.
beauregard: yeah, it was hard, but I made it work.
kermit: you sure did.
(the logs accidently fall apart)

Kermti: well, now everybody gets to vote for somebody to not get voted off, and for a surprise twist. we'll be right back after this commercial break.

(the commercial starts)
Announcer: this weekend at the palace, come see Rowlf the dog play his piano in concert.
Rowlf: I will sing "cottlesone pie", "you and I and George", "Show me a Rose", and many more.
Announcer: Rowlf in Concert, this weekend. admission is $2.00 per person.

(back to the show...)
Kermit: welcome back, and now let's see who is not qualified to be voted off first. I just looked through all these ballots and apparantly everybody voted for themselves. Well, that's not fair, so I will vote for beauregard. Bo, for your hard work you cannot get voted off untill at least next week.
beauregard: oh, boy!
Miss Piggy: You mean you didn't vote for me?
kermit: well, i...
Miss Piggy: hiiii---ya! (karate chops Kermit into the river).

Kermit: (after falling into the lake) Well, now it is time for our twist. You knwo how the shows producers said that you all get to go home between shows?
all: yeah!
Kermit: well, we, uh, lied. we all stay here untill we get voted off!
(everybody groans)
Kermit: And now I will get in my helicopter and... wait a minute! come bakc for me!
Pilot: sorry, frog, but you've gotta stay here, too!
pepe: ha, ha! kermin has to stay here tooo, okay!
Kermit: well, it's no big deal.
Fozzie: say what?
Kermit: I can just swim and enjoy nature. Oh, and don't forget to vote for who you think should be voted off.
Beauregard: except me.
kermti: tune in next time, whenever that is.

 

[minor muppetz]

what do you think?

What does everybody think about this? Who do you hope becoems the winner? Who do you hope loses?

what do you all think about the mix of major and minor characters participating?

Do you think The Electric Mayhem will get their way and have janice voted off soon enough for the concert? Do you think there will be any sore losers (hint: there will be)? Do you think kermit will survive with the contestants? Will there be a prize? What could the prize be? Is it something worth winning?

These will be answered later. I do plan on having appearances by more characters who weren't included yet, including Louis Kazager, J.P. Gross, Bunsen, Beaker, Seymour, Johnny Fiama, Sal, and others.

I have already decided on who the first loser will be, and have thought of a few sub-plots for some of the losers (mostly having to do with revenge).

Comment!

 

[minor muppetz]

episode 2

Well, it looks like nobody has commented on this, so I am going to write episode two now.

Muppet Survivor

Announcer: welcome to the second edition of Muppet Survivor! Here is our host, Kermit The frog!

Kermit: thank you, thank you. Good evening and welcome to our second show. Tonights show will be a real blast! (an explosion is set off).

(cut to Muppet Central)
Sam: (to Crazy Harry) Harry, I don't know how you were able to set off an explosion from this studio to that island, but please stop.

(back to muppet survivor)
Kermit: Now, last week beauregard got the privledge of not being qualified to get voted off this week, and our first loser will be announced today....
Miss Piggy: But it will not be moi, right, kermie?
Kermit: well, uh, that.. uh... depends on who the viewers at home vote against.
Miss Piggy: oh. (looks at audience) now listen up, if you vote for me, I will put you in the hospital. (she leaves)
Kermit: now, today we will be looking for food on this island but first we will have a commercial break.

(commercial begins)
Announcer: ladies and gentlemen, presenting The Muppet Show: Season One on DVD!
(shows clips such as "mahna mahna", "raggmopp", and "lady of spain")
Announcer: this set includes special guest stars Leena Horne (clip from Sing), Jim Nabors (clip from Thank God I'm A Country Boy), Rita Moreno (clip from fever), Mummenshaz (clip from their part of the opening) and much more! On this set, you can watch the u.k. spots, previously unseen in the u.s. (clips from I'm My Own Grampaw, Cottlesone Pie, Nobody, and I'm In Love With a big blue frog are shown). The special features are spectacular! there are muppet morsels (shows a clip from "good grief! the comedians a bear!" with the morsels on), as well as the original pitch tape (shows clips with newspaper headlines in the background), promo gag reel (shows clip from the peter ustinov promo), and even the original pilot (shows clips from the results of the seven dealdey sins pageant, kermit dancing, and the muppet gene shallit). but that's not all! Unfortunately, some scenes had to be edited (shows clips from All Of Me and Stormy Weather), but not everything did! Buy today and we might get season 2!

(cut to Muppet Central)
Scooter: I can't beleive that they are advertising the cut segments.
Sam: Well, at least they are honest about the cuts.
Leon: hopefully when this show comes to DVD nothing will be cut.

(cut to the living room of the muppet boarding house, where dr. teeth, floyd, animal, zoot, lips, clifford, rowlf, jowls, Nigel The Conductor, and the solid foam drummer are watching)
Floyd: well, I voted jancie off so that she can perform with us.
Dr. teeth: I hope we don't have to postpone or cancel our gig.
Animal: no postpone! no postpone!
Clifford: cheer up. If jancie can't play, you could find a new guitar player, like my man Beard.
Dr. Teeth: uh, no thanks.
Floyd: we just want our own guitarist.
Animal: Gui-tar-ist!
Rowlf: hush, animal.

(at a bar...)
Statler: well, I voted the bear off.
Waldorf: so did I.
Bobo: (entering) uh, how could you vote me off? I'm not even participating.


(back to the show...)
Kermit: today we have to find food for us. ready, set, go!
(they all start running to find food)
Gonzo: hey, what's this shiney stuff? maybe that will make some good food.
Bean: (sees a carrot stem in the ground) hey, that must be a carrot! Oh, carrots are just so cute! (he starst to pull, but it turns out to be the seven foot tall talkign carrot).
Carrot: oh, a bunny! I'm hungry!
(the carrot chases after bean)

(at muppet central... )
Scooter: hmm. I didn't know that carrots chased rabbits.
Bunsen: neither did I, but I did want to show you my latest mechanical catepult.
Scooter: not right now, Bunsen.
beaker: mee mee mee mo shew!

(back on the show...)
Beauregard: Oh, looky looky! These leaves will make a good salad.

(at muppet central)
george: Go, Beauregard!
Lindberg: go! go!
george: let's hope beauregard wins!
Lindberg: yeah! Custodians need more respect, and we'll get more respect if Bo wins.

(back on the show...)
Janice: wild berries! fer sure!
The Swedish Chef: de shky flurre me ska flabby dchapbity boooku booka!
Fozzie : ahh... Honey! from a beehive!
Miss Piggy: yucko! this food is terrible looking! don't they have any pizza?

(at the boardign house)
Floyd: well, it looks like janice is winning.
Zoot: maybe we should rig this show.
Dr. teeth: well, if we rig it, we can wait six weeks before we start, since the concert is a few weeks later.
Beard: (entering) hey, what's this I hear about you not wanting me to play guitar.
Rowlf: uh, they want you to play guitar.
Lips: just not in our band.
(everybody else laughs, Beard hits Lips)

(back on the show)
Kermit: now, let's see what food everybody found. (goes to Pepe first) So, pepe, what did you find?
pepe: oh, I didn't find anything. Instead, I ordered McDonalds, okay!
Kermit: (shouting) pepe you were supposed to find food on this island! How could you?! (whispers) oh, and besides that, McDonalds isn't even sponsoring our show.
Pepe: si, si, but ever since I was fired from the resturaunt I have been boycotting Long John Silvers. Don't eat at Long John Silvers, okay?
Kermit: but that is one of our biggest sponsors!

(cut to the resturautn that clueless morgan and polly lobster worked at on the Muppets tonight u.k. spots)
Polly Lobster: oh, this is bad! I just hope our boss doesn't find out.
Clueless Morgan: yeah! he doens't want us to lose buisness.

Kermit: so, chef, what did you find?
The swedish Chef: (has a plate of pancakes) puncooks! (the pancakes run off the table)
Kermit: Fozzie, what did you find?
Fozzie: honey! (he gets attacked by a herd of bees)
Kermit: Piggy, what did you find?
Piggy: uh, nothing.
Kermit: good grief! beauregard, what did yuo find?
beauregard: oh, I found some elafs and made a salad. (starts eating hi salad)
Kermit: oh, that's a good-looking salad, but.. uh... those leaves are poision ivy leaves!

(at the muppet boarding house)
Rowlf: I wonder how those leaves tasted.
(they all laugh)
Floyd: oh, look, janice is next.
Clifford: turn up the volume.
Rowlf: yeah!

Kermit: so, you found wild berries by yourself?
janice: fer sure! Rully!

Dr. Teeth: I think she will win.
Floyd: our concert is doomed.
Beard: Like I said, I can play guitar.

Kermit: and that's everybody. Gonzo is disqualified from not being voted off, and we will announce our first loser after this commrcial break.

(commercial fro Bobby Bensons Day Care)
Bobby Benson: Hi. I am bobby benson. At this day care, i will teach your kids music. Just look at how my babies turned out. (the babies play music) so if you need a baby sitter, or if your baby needs musical talent, send tem to my day care center.

Kermit: and now, the first person to be voted off is... (checks list) Pepe The king prawn!
pepe: What!?

(at muppet central)
Sam: oh, good. That prawn is so unamerican. If it weren't for the chef I would have voted that shrimp off.
pepe: (on monitor) I am not a shrimp! I am a king prawn!

(at the comissionary from Muppets Tonight)
Seymour: well, I guess now pepe will be able to cook with me again.

(back on the show)
pepe: how could you viewers vote me off soon? Aren't I sexy enough, okay?
kermit: oh, brother. Look, they get to choose who gets voted off.
Pepe; this show had to be rigged! Theres no other explanation!
Bean: well, you're not cute enough.
beauregard: or dumb enough!

kermit: pepe will be off our show, and tune in next week, our next loser could be anyone.
Fozzie: even me.
Beauregard: or me.
Bean: or me.
Swedish Chef: ur me!
janice: or me!
Miss Piggy: oh, but it definately culdn't be moi!
beauregard: who's moi?
miss piggy: moi is moi.
Beauregard: I still don't understand.

Kermit: come join us next time on Muppet Survivor!

 

[Effralyo]

*Feels quite hey-hola-fringarola from all that fussing but quickly decides what to do*
<Effralyo the Echo Dwarf appears just for a second, winks to Clifford, hugs Beau and gives him a charming-up ability>
Now no one will even dream to vote you off. Huhahaa, huhahoo!..
<Whizzzzz away!>

 

[minor muppetz]

refference?

*Feels quite hey-hola-fringarola from all that fussing but quickly decides what to do*
<Effralyo the Echo Dwarf appears just for a second, winks to Clifford, hugs Beau and gives him a charming-up ability>
Now no one will even dream to vote you off. Huhahaa, huhahoo!..
<Whizzzzz away!>

is this supposed to be a refference to something? I kind of get the joke and kind of don't. Are you saying that you want beauregard to be the winning survivor?

One of my reasons for including him is because he is a handyman, so that gives him some skills for surviving on an island (the ability to build things). Unfortunately, since he is also dumb, he can mess up what he provides for himself.

 

[Effralyo]

Well,...let`s assume that it was an ability to mess rarier, at least, and being more clever than he was.
And "hey-hola-fringarola" is a kind of interjection, which actually means something like "ndah, nice show.."

 

[minor muppetz]

discuss

Remember, you can all discuss, tell me what you like about this, tell me what you hate about this, let me know who you want to have voted off, who you want to win, and so on. I do have a winner in mind, but that could change depending on everybodys reaction (and no, I am not going to say who I currently plan to have win. If that person ends up getting voted off, then I will tell you. The winner should be a surprise).

Also let me know if there are any characters you want to see included on Muppet Survivor.

 

[G-MAN]

I got an idea that will be really funny, have Bean Bunny win.

 

[minor muppetz]

why kermit isn't a contestant



I know that nobody has asked this yet, but if you are wodnerign why kermit is the host instead of a participant, it is because if he was a contestant he would probably win and he would be too obvious of a choice for a winner, and if he didn't win (or got voted off early on) it would look a bit weird (just like how it was weird for him not to host Muppets Tonight).

 

[minor muppetz]

episode 3

Here is episode 3 of Muppet Survivor.

Muppet Survivor

Announcer: ladies and gentlemen, here is Muppet survivor, with your host, Kermit The Frog.....

Kermit: (to an unseen member of the crew) Now, I don't know if this show is going o work out, but... what? I'm on? (to audience) oh, uh, Hi ho! Kermit The Frog here for Muppet Survivor!
Miss Piggy: (interrupting) The show that moi is going to win, (sternly to kermit) Right!?
Kermit: well, you're chance of winning depends on whether the people vote you off. (to audience) last time Gonzo won the ability to be immune from being voted off this week, and our first loser, pepe, was voted off.

(cut to the dining room of the muppet boarding house, where Bunsen, beaker, Clifford, Seymour, Pepe, Rizzo, Yolada, Hilda, Link Hogthrob, Johnny Fiama, Sal, Gorgon Heap, Lew Zeland, Animal, Lips, Rowlf, Pops, two chickens, a penguin, and Mo the frackle are all eating and watching the show together)

Pepe: I shouldn't have been voted off, okay!
Seymour: but it's only a game.
Pepe: only a game? only a game!?
Clifford: cheer up, man.
Rizzo: yeah, we can't all win all the time. (to himself) althouhg I wish I always won....
Seymour: yeah, part of having fun is playing, not winning.
Pepe: how wold you know, you stupit elephant?
Rowlf: now listen, many of us are not contestants.
Animal: contestants! contestants!
Lew Zeland: yeah, listen to Rowlf.
Rowlf: thank you, lew.
Pepe: well, it doesn't matter, this show is probably going to bomb anyway....
Crazy Harry: (popping up from out of nowhere) Did somebody say bomb?
Pepe: oh, no, okay...
(crazy harry sets off an explosion)

(back on the show.... )
Kermit: well, welcome back to the show. Here is Louis Kazagger to explain todays challenge.
Louis Kazagger: Today we will have a sack race around the mountain. You run in that field, but there are some mines supplied by Crazy Harry, so be careful.
Fozzie Bear: what? mines? oh, no...
janice: like, isn't that a little bit dangerous?

(cut to a bedroom at the muppet boarding house, where dr. teeth, floyd, and zoot are watching the show)
Floyd: looks like janice is scarred.
Zoot: good. maybe she'll be too scared to participate and leave the show.
Dr. teeth: no, she signed a contract. she can't leave unless she is voted off the island.

(cut back to the show)
Gonzo: well, I think that having a sack race through a fied of mines is cool.
Louis kazagger: that's the spirit! Now let's begin the race. On your marks, get set, go! (they all start running) So far, Gonzo is in the lead.

(cut to a barn where T.R. Rooster and several chickens are watching. some chickens are holding up a "go gonzo!" sign)
T.R. Rooster: go gonzo!
chickens: go! Gonzo! Go!
T.R. Rooster: if you take out the "onz" in "gonzo", you only get "go".

Louis kazagger: oh, now janice is in the lead, but the swedish chef is catching up with her. oh, and bean Bunny is just hopping past them. we see bean hopping, and he accidently jumps on a mine, sending him flying through the air, going backwards)

(back at the boarding house)
Rizzo: ha ha ha, that bunny got hurt again.
Pepe: si, i see this show is good for something.
Bunsen: that's the spirit, Pepe.
beaker: mee mee mee.
pepe: yeah, but I still wan tmy revenge, okay?

(at Muppet Central....)
Scooter: well, I hope Fozzie wins.
Digit: I hope Gonzo wins.
Flash: I hope janice wins.
Sam: I don't care who wins. they're all weirdos.

(statler and waldorf are watching some TVs on display outside a store)
Statler: well, look at how Fozzies doing.
Waldorf: yeah, he's bearly making it.
(they laugh)

(fozzis mom is watching)
Emily bear: that's my son! (sees fozzie crash into a mine) yep, that's my son, alright....

(back on the show...)
Miss Piggy: (having trouble jumping) (panting) I am having so much trouble with this race. (beauregard gets past her)
Beauregard: hey, aren't you going to jump in the race?
Miss Piggy: well, I... (notices a tunnel with a sign that says "too dangerous to go into")... think you should go through that tunnel. I hear it is a short cut.
Beauregard: hmm, okey dokey! (he runs into there, and we hear lots of explosions)

Louis kazagger: well, this race is abou to come to a big finish.
Kermit: it's about time, too.
Louis kazagger: janice and The swedish Chef are both in the lead. Looks like it could be a tie. they are tied up, now janice is in the lead...

(at the bedroom of the baording house)
Floyd: aw, man, she's going to win.
Dr. Teeth: if there is a muppet survivor 2, we sould all promise not to participate just in case we get a musical offer.

(back on the show, janice is close to the finish line, when the swedish chef jumps on a mine, which is powerful enough to send him flying past the finish line, beating janice)
Louis Kazagger: we have a winner! The swedish chef canot be voted off.
Kermit: and when we get back, the next loser will be announced.
Beauregard: (arriving, all singed up) ah, did I win? (faints)

(commercial break...)
Bunsen: hello. I am dr. bunsen honeydew, and this is my assistant, beaker.
Beaker: mee mee.
Bunsen: We have formed an exhibet, "the muppet labs exhibet", at your local museum. We will be displaying inventions of the past, such as this Muppet Labs all-purpose tenderizer. (beaker holds it up, but it spills on beaker, causing his hand do get numb)
beaker: mo mooooo.....
Bunsen: uh, and we also have exploding clothes (beaker suddenly blows up), hair tomic (beakers hair blows off his head), and even edible paperclips (beakers nose falls off) so come on down and experience "the muppet labs exhibet". limited time only.

(back to the show)
Kermit: and now here is the newsman to announce our loser.
Newsman: and the loser, wiht the most votes, is... Janice!
(floyd, dr. teeth and zoot cheer)
Dr. Teeth: now she can play with us at our concert!

(back on the show)
Kermit: oh, I am so sorry, janice.
janice: well, I had fun anyway, but I would rather perform witht he band. That makes e happier, fer sure!
Miss Piggy: wait a minute! does this mean that you are not a sore loser?
Janice: like, no.
(miss Piggy karate chops her)
Kermit: well, don't miss our next show!