Muppet Star Wars

[muppets2]

yea

 

[Scooterthegofer]

I have decided to abandan Statler and Waldorf as Tarkin and Tarkin for funnier roles. Also, instead of 4,5,6, I will do these in order of 4,6,5 for my convenience.


Setting: Death to Muppets Star

Gonzo:
And now, I ask you once more: Where is the Muppet base?
Piggy:
Umm... Dantooine. Yes, it's on Dantooine.
Gonzo:
YOU ARE A FLAT-OUT LIAR! Now we will do what we do to all flat-out liars: blow up their home planets! Officer; set course for Alderaan!
Piggy:
No, not Alderaan! Blow up Dantooine, or even New Muppetemia if you want, but not Alderaan!
Gonzo:
You have used up your last chance, lady! Officer; you may fire when ready.
(Laser blows up Alderaan)
Piggy:
That's the last straw, you buzzard-beak! HIYAA!​

Next time: the stories converge!​

 

[theprawncracker]

Haha! Very nice exchange between Piggy and Gonzo there. Nice karate chop.

 

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Millenium Falcon. R2-D2 and Chewbacca are playing chess.

Sweetums:
Oh, darn it!
Fozzie:
What is it, Chewie?
Sweetums:
He captured my last knight!
Fozzie:
You might not want to do that, R2. In fact, it would be better for all of us if he won.
Robin:
Why?
Fozzie:
Because droids don't tear peoples' arms off when they don't win. Wookiees have been known to do that.
Sam:
May I suggest a new strategy?
Robin:
What?
Sam:
Let the Wookiee win.
Fozzie:
Probably a good choice.
Luke is lightsaber practicing with a training remote while Rowlf looks on. He gets hit by its laser several times, then decides to spear it with his lightsaber.
Kermit:
Oh, what the hey.
Rowlf:
It's good I have another one. But...
Kermit:
But what?
Rowlf:
You'll have to practice with the blast shield closed.
Kermit:
But how will I do that?
Rowlf:
Use the force.
Luke continues to practice until:
Fozzie:
Coming out of hyperspace! But where's Alderaan?
Rowlf:
Blown up by the Empire.
Fozzie:
But h-(breaks down stuttering) They couldn't do that! No one could do that!
Rowlf:
Still, they did it. I sense it.
Fozzie:
Oh, you and you're stupid sensa- Look! That moon is intact!
Rowlf:
Silly. That's no moon, it's a space station! And it's pulling us in with its tractor beam! Wait-it's pulling us in with its tractor beam?
All:
WOAAH!
(Falcon zooms toward Death to Muppets Star.)

Next time: I'm not telling!​

 

[theprawncracker]

Good stuff! Like how you kept the chess scene in-tact, it's one of my favorites. I like when Fozzie broke down stuttering after hearing Alderan was destroyed--very good character moment for him. More please!

 

[Scooterthegofer]

Setting: Death to Muppets Star, Hangar

Gonzo:
TK-421, tell your troops to get into that ship and scan it.
Chicken:
Bawk bawk!
Gonzo:
Great. Now get into there!​

TK-421 heads into Falcon, followed by two chicken stormtroopers with a heavy scanner. We hear blaster shots and Luke and Han come out, uncomfortably wearing their suits.​

Gonzo:
TK-421, did you find anything? Where's the scanner? And the third trooper?
Fozzie:
Umm...Bawk bawk bawk-bawk bawk bawk bawk-bawk-bawk (Whispered: say, this is easy) bawk-bawk bawk-bawk-bawk bawk.
Gonzo:
Aha.
Fozzie (to Luke):
Gosh, that was easy.​

Gonzo:
Oh... I sense a presence i've not felt since...
Officer:
Bawk Bawk?
Gonzo:
Since he left me an a burning lava shore twenty years ago.
Officer:
Baaawk!
Gonzo:
No, it was great! And the Emperors* gave me this great suit after it.​

While they are distracted, our heroes sneak past them.​

Next time: We finally get a Kermit/Piggy moment.

*: No, not a typo.​

 

[theprawncracker]

*laughs* Love Gonzo at the end and Fozzie's Stormtrooper talk! Too funny!

 

[Scooterthegofer]

Thanks. Does anyone have any idea why no one seems to be posting? I think I may want a few more positive comments before I move on.




Trying not to be pushy,
Scooterthegofer

 

[GonzoLover85]

So far.. great story!
my question to you is, are you doing the original star wars.. or the special edition release? B/C Jabba the Hut makes an appearence in the SE, and I'm kind of interested in seeing who would play him.

 

[Scooterthegofer]

I'm not particularly doing either. I will do 5 and 6 (which includes Jabba The Hutt) eventually. (though I may take a break after 4 and work on another fanfic.)