Muppet fic: Once in a Lifetime

[SkeetScootSquat]

Sorry, Slackbot. No,Nuthin,Nada,Zero,Zip,none. dont recognize the tune.);

 

[TheWeirdoGirl]

It took me a minute, but I do recognize it! There's a Zumba dance class that meets in the same building where I have homeschool band rehearsal, and I hear them dancing to that song a lot.

 

[Slackbot]

Hee hee. The song is Dragostea Din Tei by O-Zone. We know it as "the numa numa song." It was popularized worldwide by this video, which is the second-most-viewed viral video on the 'net, second only to the Star Wars Kid.

 

[SkeetScootSquat]

Post more or I will use the dreaded nagging stick.''laughs in a creepy kind of way''MwaHaHaHa!!!


Uncle Deadly:Hey,laughing in a creepy kind of way is my job!!!

 

[WebMistressGina]

Didn't realize I was behind until I saw this and was like, "what the heck is everyone talking about?"

Once again, I'm enjoying the protective/wise Piggy you've got going. If anyone knows the destructive pageant circle, it's our diva and this proves she can be cut throat while doing good (man, if House of Cards was a comedy, Piggy would be the Kevin Spacey character. OMG, the Muppets should do a parody!)

Wondering if Scooter did a TED Talk like video, but would he make that public? I seem to remember that he originally came out to the rest of the group like in story one or two of this, right?

Anyway, enjoyed definitely!

 

[Slackbot]

You're on the right track with the TED talk video idea. That's not quite it--although he did do one TED talk in real life. It was about whether tactile icons could survive in the digital age. Translation: puppetry versus CGI. "CGI is 3-D? Puppets have always been 3-D! You want motion capture? Puppets invented motion capture! Hand moves, puppet moves!"

Scooter has always been shy on the subject of his sexual orientation. (Well, in my stories at least.) It just ain't nobody else's business. It took him several years to even come out to the other Muppets. Now it's several years later and he's got the next step in mind. Not because he wants to make it known what he is--he's no George Takei, he has no desire to be "the gay Muppet"--but because he wants to reach a specific audience. The only way to do that is to go public.

Sure hope Miss Piggy doesn't get the idea he's upstaging her...

Re Miss Piggy, Heh, this is a difficult experience for her, but it's helping her work through some stuff. In an odd way this could be therapeutic for her. Just don't tell the network or they'd try to find a way to market that. Hmm, I bet Fleet would pay for a tip like that.

 

[The Count]

Heh... Isn't it because of Fleet's journalistic impulsivity that Piggy's in this fine little kiddie corral in the first place?

 

[Slackbot]

Why yes, it is, and don't think Piggy has forgotten his role in her career.

 

[Slackbot]

Man, I wish I was writing this faster. I've only got so many hours in the day, and lately puppet-making commissions have been squeezing out most of my other creative endeavors. Still, I don't leave stories unfinished!

*****

Once in a Lifetime​

Part 13: The Stranger​

by Kim McFarland​

*****

Muppets filled the theater from the back forward. Their psychedelically-painted bus was parked behind the building, and the Muppets went through the backstage area to the house and sat in the audience.

Kermit waited until everyone was situated, which didn't take long. Amazingly, Piggy, the pageant girls, and the camera crew entourage arrived at the same time. Piggy usually preferred to make a fashionably late entrance. And it normally took some yelling and arm-waving to get everyone settled down, yet they all looked attentive and ready to go. Either they were as serious about the show tonight as he was, or Scooter had finally figured out how to hypnotize them via E-mail.

When everyone was there Kermit sat facing them on the rail around the orchestra pit. He said, "I'll keep this short because we've got a lot to do to get the show ready for tonight. Are there any big snags? Logistical issues? Anything Scooter or I need to deal with?" Nobody answered. "Piggy?"

Miss Piggy answered, "We're on track. We rehearsed all last evening. We just need to run through it a few times more."

He glanced around at the girls' faces. They looked confident and eager. They believed they were ready. Good. "Will twice do? Once before the tech rehearsal and once during."

"Perfect. Oh, Kermie, could we do one right now, in in front of everyone? So they can get a feel for performing in front of an audience?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah, but let's hustle. We don't have a lot of time."

Piggy stood. "You heard him. Move it!"

Cheerfully the girls scampered for the exit to the backstage, with Piggy and the crew following. Kermit said. "Anyone else? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

Rowlf said, "I got something. It's not a problem. In case things run short or we need to stall I have an act that'll fill a few minutes. Just me, backstage, on a piano. We can pipe that onto the screen on short notice, right?"

Janken turned back in his seat to face Rowlf and answered, "I'll need to set up the camera and lights ahead of time, but after that it's just a few button presses. Easy peasy."

Kermit trusted Rowlf. The dog was a trouper, and one of the very first Muppets. He wouldn't pick a song that was unsuitable or that they didn't have the rights to. "Sounds good. Have it ready in case we need it." Rowlf nodded. Scooter made some notes. Kermit heard the sounds of Piggy and the girls getting set up on the stage behind him. He said, "Anyone else?"

Gonzo said, "I got an idea. You know how I submitted a pile of stunt ideas. I can do a bunch of 'em in one show! Start out on one, then have it cut off by another act or a prop failure or something. Make it into a running gag, over and over. Use up all the ideas that'd never work for real."

Frowning, Kermit began, "Gonzo, we don't have time-"

"I know! This'll take a lot of planning. I'll need to focus on it if I'm gonna get it ready for next week or the one after that. So I'll sit this week's show out if that's all right with you. I'll be here, but just as Billie's roadie, unless you need me."

In other words, Kermit mentally translated, don't worry about trying to write me into and act so my feelings won't be hurt; I'll save it up for another show. Thank you, Gonzo. "Sounds like a good idea. When all this is over we'll talk more about it. Anyone else?"

Nobody answered right away. Behind him Miss Piggy said, "Ahem."

Kermit looked back. Miss Piggy was in the wings, glowering at someone in the audience. "Can we get some playback here?"

"Oops, sorry." Janken jumped up and scrambled over to backstage left. After a minute the stage lights came up and the background music began. Offstage, Miss Piggy screamed as if in a rage. The girls scattered onto the stage and made as if hiding behind props or each other. Kate said, "I told you that was her feather boa!"

Haughtily Tessie replied, flipping an invisible boa over her shoulder, "It doesn't have her name on it!"

Julie complained, "Some babysitter she is."

Duffy nodded. "The theater's supposed to be fun."

"It oughtta be fun," Molly said.

Pepper put her fists on her hips. "If we want fun, we're gonna have to make it ourselves!"

The children griped a bit more about their lousy babysitter, then segued into their song. They performed it with all the energy of little girls venting their frustrations onstage. When Tessie began strutting about the stage, doing a broad impression of Miss Piggy, the other Muppets laughed. Kermit glanced at Piggy, who as watching in the wings. She was grinning. He'd bet she had coached her in that imitation.

At the end of the song Miss Piggy stormed onto the stage and snapped, "Do I hear happiness out here?"

The girls froze, then chorused, "We love you, Miss Piggy."

She stopped, surprised, then said, "Well. Um…come along, dears."

She escorted them offstage again. The last to leave the stage was Tessie, who glanced back at the audience, then did an exaggerated, hip-wagging impression of Miss Piggy's strut as she left the stage.

In the wings, they heard the applause. The girls were grinning excitedly. Miss Piggy told them, "That was perfect! Do it just like that and we'll knock 'em dead!" She went back onto the stage and asked Kermit, "Was that all right?"

"That was great," Kermit said. "We'll just need a smooth segue into and out of that. What about the backstage business?"

"That won't take but a moment to film. We'll need Hilda and the wardrobe room, plus whoever will be hanging around backstage."

"Do that now. Janken, film 'em."

Over the PA system Janken replied, "Will do."

Kermit looked back at the other Muppets. "Okay. Anything else? No? Well, let's get cracking. The girls and Piggy will be in the second act, so anyone who'd be hanging around then, get into costume to shoot the backstage bits."

The Muppets scattered. Kermit sat in the seats. Barring any unforeseen disasters—as opposed to foreseen ones—he could relax for a few minutes. He was emceeing the show, and had a role in one act, but nothing he need worry about. It looked like everyone else knew what they were doing. The corners of his mouth twitched upward in a grin as he thought that merely saying that to himself was tempting fate.

Scooter sat beside him. He said, "We're nearly there, boss."

"Yep. Y'know, Scooter, I know that we can pull a show together. No matter what has happened—guest stars backing out or getting sick, even having to do the show in a train station—we've always come through. When we're going nuts trying to get our acts together I have to remind myself of that, over and over."

Scooter chuckled. Then his expression became more serious. "Um, Kermit, there's something I'd like to talk with you about. Nothing to worry about, but can we go to your office?"

Kermit, not 'boss'? "Sure."

*

When Scooter closed the door behind himself Kermit said, "What's this about?"

Scooter hesitated, then said, "I made a video last night. I want to post it, but I'd like you to see it first. Partly because, even though it's personal, it'll still reflect on me as a Muppet. And, well, because you're my friend."

"All right," Kermit said.

Scooter tapped and swiped on his pad for a moment, then handed it to Kermit. It was a YouTube page, and the video's preview image was Scooter in front of the brick wall at the back of the stage. Scooter said, "Right now this is a private video. Nobody else can see it."

Kermit tapped on the play icon. After taking a few moments to buffer, the video began. "Hi, I'm Scooter. I'm the stage manager for The Muppet Show. And, as you must've guessed since this is another of those It Gets Better videos, I'm gay.

"It's taken me a long time to get the nerve to speak up. Not so much of because I'm afraid of what anyone else might think or do, but because, well, it's a hard thing to come out and admit to the world. I've known all sorts of gay people, and it never seemed like a big deal to me. But when it's you, yourself…that's scary.

"You hear it every day, things like 'that's so gay' meaning that it's stupid or lame. There are organizations that will fight for their legal right to discriminate against us. There are states that will pass legislation specifically letting anyone refuse us service just because. And even though things are changing fast now, with more and more states allowing us legal rights like marriage, every time there's a step forward like that there's a lot of vicious backlash. Knowing what lengths people will go to to exclude you, and seeing them get away with that, makes you feel rotten, like you're some sort of freak. It makes you want to hide in a closet, lock the door from the inside.

"Stepping back, for the longest time I didn't know I was gay. Sounds funny, but it never occurred to me. I went on dates, they never went further than 'just friends,' and I figured I just hadn't met the right person yet. And when I did, when I understood why, I was scared. 'Why am I like this? What happened? What's wrong with me?' It's weird. If it was anyone else, no problem, it wouldn't have occurred to me to think less of 'em because of that. But I couldn't accept it in myself. I told myself I was okay, but it was a long time before I came to believe that on a gut level.

"I didn't tell anyone, not even my closest friends or my family, for years. I never thought they'd have problems with it, but I still kept it to myself. I could say it was because my private life was nobody else's business. But that isn't true. It was a lie, and that was one more thing to feel bad about.

"Nobody hassled me. It was all me doing it to myself. Internalized homophobia can make you chew yourself up from the inside. I spent years like that, and I didn't have to. And when I finally told the other Muppets, boy, they were surprised. But...it was fine with them. They told me the one thing that I most needed to hear, that I'd been wanting to hear for years: that it didn't change who I am. I'm still the same person I always was. That it's okay." He paused and wiped his eyes. "And the next day, things were back to normal. The only difference was, I no longer had to hide anything from them, and I no longer felt guilty about that. It doesn't sound like a big thing, but it meant the world to me."

He looked at the camera. "I'm really lucky. I have friends and family I can trust. And throughout all this time I've had that 'special someone' who has been ridiculously patient with me and put up with my lying silence without complaining. A lot of people have to face a lot more than I did, and without friends and loved ones they can trust. Those are the ones who really suffer—loneliness, fear, shame, losing their homes and jobs and even their lives. I could quote statistics, but I'd rather just ask you to imagine what that feels like to be in that situation. I hope imagining it is all you'll ever have to do.

"That's why I'm making this video. It's not because I want to tell the world about my private life. But when I felt alone with my secret, it would have helped to hear that there were others like me. You don't have to be alone. You don't have to hide. You don't have to be afraid or ashamed of yourself and tear yourself up from the inside. You don't deserve that. You're fine, and you have as much right to be happy as anyone else. You deserve to be respected as much as anyone else does, and that begins with self-respect. If you need help, get it. It gets better if you make it better.

"And maybe you know someone who needs help. Having even one friend can make a huge difference to someone who's alone in a dark closet. Be that friend. Just say hey, I know, and it's okay. You can't solve all their problems, but you can at least let some light into that closet. A locked closet may seem safe, but it's a coffin."

He looked upward and, blinking, took a breath, then smiled and said to the camera, "Well, that's all I have to say. I hope this'll help someone out there. There are links in the description of this video that can start you off, help you find people and organizations to help you out if you need support or to find a home, or want to make a difference in someone else's life. See ya later," he finished with his signature perky grin.

Kermit scrolled down. There were several links there: the "It Gets Better" project, a TED talk, some other organizations. Kermit looked up at Scooter. "Sounds like you've had this bottled up for a long time."

Scooter shrugged, then admitted, "Well…yeah. I just now finally got the nerve. What do you think?"

Kermit patted Scooter's shoulder. "Go ahead and post it. We'll back you up. I think it'll do some good out there. And if there's flak, you won't face it alone."

"Thanks, Kermit. That means a lot. Um, I want to show it to the rest of the Muppets before it goes live."

"Good idea. What about your character on the show? I noticed the rings."

Scooter glanced at his hands. "Oh, yeah. Um, I'd rather not bring it onto the show that Jan and I are a couple. I just wanna be Scooter, stage manager and your right-hand man."

"All right." That might change someday, Kermit thought. And if it did, fine.

****

All named characters except Janken and Tessie, are copyright © The Muppets Studio, LLCAll copyrighted materials are used without permission but with much respect and affection. Janken and Tessie are copyright © Kim McFarland (negaduck9@aol.com), as is the overall story. Permission is given by the author to copy it for personal use only.

The It Gets Better Project is here: http://www.itgetsbetter.org

 

[charlietheowl]

Good to see Scooter willing to put himself on the line and share his story with everyone. Hopefully his story will help others. Thank you for sharing!