Muppet FanFic: The Malady Lingers On

[Kristine73]

Awegh! Great story you planning on writing more chapters??!

Yes there is one more chapter plus an epilogue to come which will hopefully wind things up nicely!

 

[Janice+Floyd<3]

Sweet can't wait

 

[Kristine73]

Well, all good things must come to an end! Here are the last two installments.

Chapter 22


”I want those flowers strung up straight! Straight I said!” demanded Sam the Eagle.
Kermit looked over his shoulder at the activity behind him and shook his head, before focusing back on tonight’s running list. The great day had dawned, the show with Rudolph Nureyev had finally arrived and Sam was absolutely beside himself with pride. Sam had insisted the theatre be decorated appropriately and had ordered in a whole florist shop of flowers. Now poor old George the janitor found himself put upon as the pedantic eagle insisted everything be perfect for the most important, the most distinguished guest this weird, sick show had ever had the honour of hosting!

“Huh, you’d think it was the Queen of England visiting us.” grumbled George. “Not some dumb old dancer!

“Yes, well we all have to make sacrifices George.” retorted Kermit. George grunted his disapproval as Kermit continued “Don’t forget you have to mop down the stage with Coke as soon as Scooter get back with it.”

“Whaddya mean? Mop down the stage with Coke?” asked George.

“It’s an old dancer’s trick George,” Kermit explained patiently. “Apparently mopping the stage floor with Coke prevents it from being too slippery. Rudolph asked me especially to prepare the stage this way. We can’t have the great Nureyev injuring himself while he’s on our show, can we?”

George simply grunted again and left, grumbling the whole time. Kermit chose to ignore him and turned his attentions to the running list of tonight’s show. Sam had demanded that everything be “cultured and dignified” this evening from playing only classical music to insisting everyone dress in tuxedos. Kermit did wonder why he was giving way to Sam so much. After all, when Kermit first met with Nureyev about appearing on the show he was honest with him about the Muppet Theatre set up. The Palais Garnier it was not! Nureyev assured Kermit it did not bother him in the least. Still, if it kept Sam quiet instead of his usual carry-on about sending letters to important people about disgusting happenings, Kermit was all for it.

Relaxing in the musician’s lounge, Doctor Teeth once again read the sheet music for the minuet the band was performing tonight. Janice was keeping him company at the moment as Zoot had taken Animal for his walk and Floyd was currently with Hilda in the costume room having his orchestra suit fitted, tonight being the first show Floyd was playing both in the orchestra and with the Electric Mayhem since his operation.

As he read the music Doctor Teeth shook his head. “Huh, this bummer brings back memories. All of them bad.” He said.

“Rully? Like what?” asked Janice, who was sitting on the sofa.

“Oh piano recitals as a kid.” answered Doctor Teeth with a grimace. “All the parents would be there to watch their little darlings perform, and heaven help you if you hit the wrong note!”

Janice laughed at Doctor Teeth’s comment. “Yeah, well I am like totally amazed that we are playing tonight! I rully wonder what space Kermit is coming from sometimes.”

“Oh I think he wants to give us a number so we don’t feel left out. Our little green buddy is good like that.” Said Doctor Teeth and Janice nodded her agreement as the door to the musician’s lounge opened and Floyd entered.

“Hey man! All ready to go for tonight? Hilda got you all pressed and dressed?” asked Doctor Teeth.

“Yeah man, I’m ready.” replied Floyd. “Hilda’s going to bring my suit up in a few minutes.
Floyd went over to the sofa, sat down next to Janice and placed his arm around her shoulders. “Can’t believe I’ve been away as long as I have. How long’s it been?”

Floyd had finally received the go ahead from the doctor to resume a full work load earlier in the week. When he had his check up the week after he was discharged from hospital the doctor gave permission for Floyd to perform a song on the condition it was nothing strenuous. Doctor Teeth decided that Madeline Kahn’s show that week was the perfect time to perform ‘New York State of Mind’, as it would help Floyd get back into the swing of performing and be non- strenuous just as the doctor ordered. Floyd’s performance went off without a hitch, apart from the fact that he was absolutely exhausted by the end of it as Floyd was still tiring easily. When he went home that night Floyd went straight to bed and slept for nearly 12 hours straight. For that reason Doctor Teeth turned down Kermit’s offer of having the Electric Mayhem play when Edgar Bergman was the guest and chose to wait another week to perform ‘Don’t Blame the Dynamite’ during Dom Deluise’s appearance.

“Ooh, I think it’s been like 6 weeks honey.” said Janice. Floyd nodded. “Yeah I think you’re right Mama. I stopped counting how long it’s been. Got too depressing.” He said.

“Yeah, well I’m pretty sure Kermit is glad you’re back tonight. As well as the fact that you’re no longer babysitting Robin!” said Doctor Teeth with a huge grin. One afternoon, while most of the other residents were out, Kermit was called away to an emergency at the theatre. Because Sweetums was not available, he asked Floyd if he would mind looking after Robin. Floyd said he had no problem with that and Kermit left….. to return a couple of hours later to find Robin floating around the house on the balloons Floyd brought home from the hospital for him, the kitchen a shambles after an unsuccessful attempt at making brownies and Floyd laughing his head off at Kermit’s bewildered expression.

“What are you talking about?” demanded Floyd “I’ll have you know I am a first rate babysitter! I used to watch my little sister all the time and she loved it!”

“That’s right. It’s because you let the kid run riot, feed them all the food their not supposed to eat and wind them right up!” laughed Doctor Teeth as a knock came at the door. Janice got up to answer it and saw Hilda standing there holding a suit bag.

“Hello Hilda, is that Floyd’s suit?” Janice asked as she let Hilda in.

“It certainly is.” replied Hilda, passing the suit bag to Floyd. “I have adjusted the trousers Floyd so they will now fit perfectly!”

“Thanks Hilda, you’re a star.” said Floyd. Hilda blushed at Floyd’s praise and hurried out of the room. “Couldn’t believe the suit was too big for me when I tried it on!”

“Just so long as it fits now.” Said Doctor Teeth, as the door to the musician’s lounge opened again and Zoot and Animal came in having just returned from their walk.

“Have you seen how that turkey Sam has backstage rigged up?” It’s absolutely unbelievable! What’s he playing at?” asked Zoot incredulously.

“Oh it’s to prove to Mr Nureyev how ‘cultured and dignified’ we are!” said Janice in a posh voice before collapsing in a fit of giggles. “Rully.” Everyone laughed at Janice, then Floyd turned to Zoot and said “Well I think you, me and Animal better go get changed man.” Zoot nodded as Kermit’s voice came over the PA system.

“One hour until curtain up everybody. One hour until curtain.”

“That’s funny.” said Janice. “Like, Kermit only makes that announcement when the guest star arrives.”

“Yeah, Janice is right.” agreed Zoot. “Wonder what’s going down?”

“Don’t know.” said Doctor Teeth. “Hey, you don’t suppose Nureyev wised up and has decided not to show up!” The Electric Mayhem collapsed in laughter again as Scooter, dressed in his tuxedo appeared at the door.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing for you to worry about Scooter.” answered Doctor Teeth. “Yet!” he added.

Downstairs in his office, Kermit watched as a grumbling George completed his mopping duties and made his way back to the janitor’s room. Sam the Eagle then approached him.
“Exactly when are you going to get changed?” Sam demanded to know.

Kermit sighed. “In about 15 minutes Sam. I will make my big introduction before the theme music and then I will come straight back and change. Hilda has my tuxedo ready for me in my dressing room already.” ‘Thank goodness there’s no show next week, only auditions! I am going to be thoroughly exhausted by the end of tonight!’Kermit thought.

“May I please see a list of the other acts on tonight’s show please?” asked Sam “I do hope they are thoroughly cultural as I asked?”

“Yeah.” shrugged Kermit indifferently, handing the clipboard to Sam without looking at him. Sam read the list, muttered something under his breath and handed it back to Kermit. “I suppose it will do.” Kermit called on all his reserves of patience not to yell at Sam as he droned on. “Now most important of all, do not forget we are to be calm and dignified when Mr Nureyev arrives.” With that Sam hurried away to carry out further inspections. a few minutes later Kermit saw the Electric Mayhem coming down the stairs, Floyd, Animal and Zoot already dressed in their orchestra outfits.

“Hey guys!” called Kermit happily. “Floyd it is wonderful to see you back playing with the orchestra again. You look really good.”

“Yeah frogious amphibious I must admit I am happy to be back.” said Floyd with a smile.

“And listen, before anything else happens I want you to know how much I appreciate your agreeing to play a minuet tonight. Thank you so very much for agreeing to do it.” said Kermit.
Doctor Teeth and the rest of the band looked at each other. ‘I wonder if Kermit has told Sam yet we’re performing tonight? I’ll bet he hasn’t!’ Doctor Teeth sighed and answered “You’re welcome green stuff. We promise to be very classy, don’t we?”

“That’s all I ask. Thank you so much!” answered Kermit happily. “I better let you go now and take your places.”

“No problem Kermit.” called Doctor Teeth as the Electric Mayhem made their way into the auditorium Kermit heard a knock on the door. ‘Perhaps that’s Rudolph Nureyev now!’ thought Kermit, as Rudolph had called him a few minutes ago letting him know he was running a little late. Going down the stairs to answer it he noticed a courier, the exact same smart mouthed kid he gave the Nureyev contract to!

“Yes? What can I do for you?” asked Kermit with a frown on his face.

“I’ve just got a delivery for you Mr Frog.” The courier replied, passing a package to him. As soon as Kermit took it from him the courier turned around and headed off.

Kermit headed to his office to open the package. He wasn’t expecting anything, having not ordered anything recently. Opening the envelope revealed a copy of ‘Dance’ magazine and a piece of pink note paper sticking out between two pages. Opening the magazine Kermit picked up the letter and read:

Dear Mr Frog

I would like you to have the first copy of our latest edition of ‘Dance’ magazine. Thank you very much once again for showing me around the Benny Vandergast Memorial Theatre. I hope you enjoy the article I did on Nureyev appearing on your show. I will certainly be watching it tonight.

Best wishes,

Chloe Sutton.

Kermit smiled and laid the note to one side. Taking a moment to read the article Kermit saw Chloe gave a brief description of Nureyev’s career so far before talking about her visit to the Muppet Theatre and what a gracious hos Kermit was, who was also happy to notice that Chloe omitted any mention of Animal going bananas while she was there!

‘You know, I have a funny feeling tonight will work out just perfectly!’ he thought happily.

 

[Kristine73]

Epilogue


Lying on the sofa at the boarding house, Kermit hung up the phone with a groan. He had just had Miss Piggy on the phone saying she was going to dedicate the ‘Veterinarian’s Hospital sketch to him. ‘As if I don’t feel sick enough!’ he thought irritably.

For the first time ever, Kermit was forced to leave mid-show because he was sick, probably with the flu. Doctor Teeth had very kindly brought him back home and now he was waiting for the doctor to come see him. While he was waiting Kermit put the Muppet Show on the television, catching Scooter going on about selling magazine subscriptions of all things! Fortunately Nancy Walker’s first sketch with Fozzie went according to plan and Kermit rang up the theatre to check in with Fozzie that he knew what was appearing on the rest of the show, only to speak to Gonzo. Kermit hoped Gonzo was exaggerating about there being holes in the theatre! Fozzie reassured him he did, ‘Now that’s cold comfort’ thought Kermit, when Miss Piggy came on the phone.

‘Hang on a minute, didn’t Fozzie just introduce At The Dance?’ thought Kermit. ‘What’s Piggy going on about, dedicating Vet’s Hospital to me?’ Too tired and headachey to think clearly, Kermit lay back on the sofa with an icepack on his throbbing head and shut his eyes. He heard the ‘Vet’s Hospital’ theme play and then the music of ‘At The Dance’ came on. He heard Nurse Piggy and Doctor Bob’s first joke about rumbartism and then he heard a woman who was definitely NOT Miss Piggy or Janice ask “Do you come here often?”

Opening his eyes again Kermit was horrified to see the couples dancing around the ‘Vet’s Hospital’ set, complete with the ballroom chandeliers. He then saw Floyd Pepper look around confusedly then answer “Only to have my appendix out!” before laughing. Kermit stared at the screen and caught a quick glance at Fozzie looking in on the set in disbelief. Miss Piggy was full of righteous indignation while Rowlf and Janice were dancing together. Floyd then turned to his partner and asked her why were they dancing in an operating room?

“Because, while the song will still be over, the malady lingers on!” she responded.

“Oh, why do I leave that bear in charge?” moaned Kermit, closing his eyes again.

‘Floyd’s partner is right.’ He thought ‘The malady lingers on…..and on…..and on!’

THE END

 

[Kristine73]

And that, most emphatically, is all folks! Thank you to everyone who liked my story and all your lovely comments. I'm going to be off MC for a few weeks now as I am taking a holiday so I was glad to be able to finish it in time. With a bit of luck I may have something new to post when I get back....

 

[The Count]

Thank you for sharing this funny and interesting story with all of us here. It will be added to the FLI thread as soon as I'm able to get there.
*Hopes all Muppets don't go slip-sliding away on the Coke polished dancing floor.

 

[Kristine73]

Thank you for sharing this funny and interesting story with all of us here. It will be added to the FLI thread as soon as I'm able to get there.
*Hopes all Muppets don't go slip-sliding away on the Coke polished dancing floor.

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

What a fitting epilogue! I loved it!

 

[Janice+Floyd<3]

Awe! I loved it! Write more fanfics

 

[Kristine73]

What a fitting epilogue! I loved it!

Thank you!