Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[RedPiggy]

*Kelly (RedPiggy) and Spike stop at the front door.*

RedPiggy: God, would you STOP complaining! The Count said he'd meet us in the lobby.

Spike (scoffing): I'm not the preppy type, toots.

RedPiggy (rolling her eyes): Oh, for Pete's sake.

Spike: Can't we move in to a hole in the wall somewhere?

RedPiggy (smiling): Well, there are Fraggles here. They live in holes in the wall. I think they could set us up.

Spike (sarcastic): Ha HA. (watches RedPiggy crack open the door, whispers) This is more Scooter's thing.

RedPiggy (stops and turns to look up to him, as she's a good 3-4 feet shorter than him): Um ... there's this guy named Scooter, and to save everyone some confusion, can you at least call him "Rob"?

Spike (frowning): Am I allowed to wear my jacket? Or do you want me to wear some polo shirt?

RedPiggy (sighing, opening the door): Grow up, Spike.

*they enter the lobby, plopping down their stuff*

RedPiggy (wiping the sweat off her brow): Whew! (turns to Spike, with a sarcastic smile) Thanks for helping me with all the luggage ...

Spike (smiles): Why, you're welcome. Just let me know if you need anything else.

 

[The Count]

*Shows up mysteriously at the lobby, back forward, slowly turning around. Ah, new victim, erg... Hi and welcome to the dorms. Or the asylum as some may know it. It's no Arkham, but it's home to us. *Grabs key from near the 2 on the desk's back wall. Follow me... Oh, some of the bats and/or monsters will bring your luggage down. *Leads the cute Kelly and towering Scavenger past a set of double doors. Okay, into the common room and down the rabbit hole we go. *A pair of eyes peek out from the trashcan in the corner. Huh? Nah, that's just Oscar. He lives with Brian and Big Bird in Room #29, but he's always had a spare trashcan here as long as the dorms have been opened. *All ride inside the dumbwaiter elevator car tucked into the Old World furnace. That's how we usually get around in this place... If you need a map of our town of Hensonville, there are some handy at the desk in the lobby, feel free to grab one, though they're a bit incomplete at the moment.

*Downstairs... Here we are. Just a quick step out to our left from the common room, and yours is the first door on our right. *Handing the key to Kelly. My room's directly across from yours, knock or leave a message if you have any questions. The rest of this floor's wing's got Red and Mokey with Beth, Lou with Katherine next door to you, Gobo an Wembley with Kate, and Storyteller and Beige with Erin. The laundry room's the last door on your right in this hall, baths are last door down on your left in the other direction. There's our parking lot out back and a plexiglass domed pool house/swimming area. Ask Red for a key, she's in charge of the waterworks around here, except for the plumbing. Might have to call Doc about that. Other than that, welcome to the dorms. Don't let the other people here scare you, things get carried away about once a week, more on the slow days. Enjoy your stay.

 

[RedPiggy]

Follow me... Oh, some of the bats and/or monsters will bring your luggage down.

RedPiggy: Hey, thanks. Bulk-boy here is allergic to work. *snicker*

Spike (rolls eyes): Whatever.

*A pair of eyes peek out from the trashcan in the corner. Huh? Nah, that's just Oscar. He lives with Brian and Big Bird in Room #29, but he's always had a spare trashcan here as long as the dorms have been opened.

RedPiggy: Great, whenever I'm bummed I can go bug him.

Spike: *snickers*

Redpiggy: What?

Spike: You know what your alias reminds me of? Dinner when I haven't had time to cook.

RedPiggy (sighs): Ew. I guess I'll go by Kelly, then.

Spike (chuckling): Good call.

*All ride inside the dumbwaiter elevator car tucked into the Old World furnace. That's how we usually get around in this place... If you need a map of our town of Hensonville, there are some handy at the desk in the lobby, feel free to grab one, though they're a bit incomplete at the moment.

Spike: Pffbt. Maps are for you losers without a good sense of smell.

Kelly (looks around at dumwaiter elevator): You know what the most AMAZING thing is? That Spike can get on here and we don't crash to our deaths. *nudges Count* Have you heard how much he weighs?

Spike: The difference between you an' me, toots, is that weighing a lot is a t'ing ta be proud of for dinosaurs, and a source o' shame to lil' runts like you.

The rest of this floor's wing's got Red and Mokey with Beth, Lou with Katherine next door to you, Gobo an Wembley with Kate, and Storyteller and Beige with Erin.

Spike (smiling broadly): Ah, we're next to the snack bar.

Kelly: I SAID we're not eating anyone here!

The laundry room's the last door on your right in this hall, baths are last door down on your left in the other direction. There's our parking lot out back and a plexiglass domed pool house/swimming area. Ask Red for a key, she's in charge of the waterworks around here, except for the plumbing. Might have to call Doc about that. Other than that, welcome to the dorms. Don't let the other people here scare you, things get carried away about once a week, more on the slow days. Enjoy your stay.

Spike (staring in confusion): "Laundry?"

Kelly (giggling): Yes. You know, washing clothes?

Spike (raises eyebrow): You evah hear of washin' leather?

Kelly (picks at his tank top): You HAVE cloth clothes, too.

Spike: An' we gotta share the pool with a bunch o' mammals?

Kelly: One: I am a mammal, and I find that offensive. Two: Aren't the Howlin' J band your roommates at the Tavern?

Spike: We don't share da same bat'rooms, toots.

Kelly (to Count): We don't scare easily. Actually, everyone else might get uncomfortable around Spike, but he's a lot nicer than he looks.

Spike: I didn't hear you complainin' of my looks last ---OOOF!

Kelly (enters door after elbowing Spike in the stomach): Thanks, Count, see ya later.

 

[The Count]

*Can definitely sense a kindredness in that one. *Wicked glad smile while vanishing into shadows.

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (cracks knuckles as she looks around the room): Hey, Spike! Did ya get the map from upstairs?

Spike (closes door): Nah. Little purple dude said the map was about some joint named "Hensonville" ... not this rat-trap.

Kelly: Dang. I guess I'll have to draw up some blueprints.

Spike: You're KIDDIN', right? You really go for dis stuff, don't ya?

Kelly: It's my first time --.

Spike: (snicker)

Kelly: OF DOING THE WHOLE RPG DORMROOM THING! God, really -- get your mind out of the gutter!

Spike (crosses his arms): Hey, you drag me into a place filled wit' appetizers I'm not allowed ta eat, da elevator makes me cringe, we have ta sleep BELOW ground ... an' you want me ta be HAPPY? Why didn't ya get Scooter down here, huh? Little Overachiever was BUILT for dis sorta t'ing.

Kelly: Rob, not Scooter.

Spike (cross): Don't LECTURE me, girlie.

Kelly (rolls eyes and sighs): Fine, I'll draw up some blueprints -- you decorate the room.

Spike: Good! I hope you're not the frilly pink type. I'd eat ya myself if I had to stare at dat all day. *strokes his chin as he ponders -- and whatever he says just poofs into the room* Let's see: Startin' at da door, I got a poster o' ... o' ... hm. *snaps* I got a poster o' da Howlin' J band. Next, to da left wall, I got a record player and an 8-track.

Kelly (looks up): No way! You got a record player and an 8-track?

Spike (bewildered): How else am I gonna listen to my tunes?

Kelly (shrugs): I thought you might have an MP3 player by now or something.

Spike: I don't even know what dat IS.

Kelly: Never mind. Do continue.

Spike: T'anks. Ahem. My records an' cassettes are just kinda lyin' dere beside da record player. *brightens up* Ooh! An' all da walls gotta be dark gray! Wit some dark red splotches here an' dere, like bloodstains! Yeah ... dat'd be cool!

Kelly (stops drawing for a minute): Okay! Let me add some things before this room looks like it came out of Silent Hill.

Spike: Huh?

Kelly: On the back wall, two mattresses (really, really good ones) are on the floor, with lots of pillows and blankets. I get cold at night.

Spike: I t'aught you humans were warm-blooded.

Kelly (ignoring Spike): On the right, a computer desk, with a desktop, some small shelves for my CD-ROMs, and my flash drive.

Spike (looking the computer over): Uh, where's da rest of it? Computers take up at least a whole wall.

Kelly: Not in my world. We're all about miniaturization. Anyway, a good sturdy stool, since Spike's tail would get in the way of a normal office chair.

Spike: Yeah, go ahead: blame me.

Kelly: Hm, we need a quick way out of here.

Spike (grinning): Ah! DAT I can handle. *walks up to back right wall and kicks a large hole in the wall.

Kelly (aghast): Dude! What the --?

Spike: Keep your shirt on, toots. Take a peek.

Kelly (takes a peek -- the hole leads to a bricked tunnel): A bricked tunnel? This definitely doesn't go to Fraggle Rock -- where does it go? *sees a crystal ball roll up to her* (disgusted) Oh. *picks up crystal ball and puts it on the computer desk, which is made of steel frame and sturdy glass surfaces. *looks at crystal ball* Well, just don't go playing with this thing, Spike. Who knows what happens when you do. But I guess it can serve as our phone, and the computer has internet service, so we can still catch my favorite shows. *rubs hands together* Well, I guess this place looks alright.

Spike: Can we add some neon fixtures in here?

Kelly (shakes her head): I can't go to sleep if there's lights on. It bugs me. Oh! I gotta get upstairs and leave the blueprints in the lobby! *runs off*

Spike (shakes head, then smiles): An' I want a neon sign on each wall, all o' dem advertisin' beer or music or females. Heehee.

*Kelly leaves 4 blueprints on the front desk for all future visitors*

1F

2F

3F

4F

 

[BEAR]

(In the lobby...)
Bryan: Hey, look!
Big Bird: What's that?
Bryan: Blue prints.
Big Bird: They're blue alright. Bryan? What's a blue print?
Bryan: It's basically the map of the dorms.
Big Bird: Oh.
Bryan: It's about time someone made something. This way new people won't get lost.
Big Bird: And when Oscar tells them to "get lost" they can find their way back!
Bryan: True!
Big Bird: Haha!
Bryan: They look great! I wonder who made them. Oh well...let's get back to our room.
Big Bird: It's on the blue print! Let's go!

(the two head back to room 29)

 

[The Count]

*Remembers when Biff drew a blueprint of Hooper's Store based on what he was told by either David or Mr. Handford.

 

[RedPiggy]

Kelly (slips back into the lobby after doing some homework): You know, what would make those blueprints PERFECT is to include everyone's names (sure hope that roster thing's current ... enough). *doodles names on blueprints, realizes how many open spots there are* Hm.. where'd Spike go?

*trots off to go find Spike, who is eventually found in the basement common room, digging into the fridge*

Spike (notices someone behind him and turns around, surprised but happy it's just Kelly): Oh, hey ... where's da critters?

Kelly (sheepishly): Uh, I don't think they have any in there.

Spike (sighs and rolls his eyes): You DO know I could eat everyt'ing in dis whole joint, on EVERY floor, and STILL be hungry?

Kelly: Well, stop griping and let's go to a restaurant! That's what I'm gonna do! I'm a picky eater anyway!

Spike: You got any money?

Kelly (hangs head): Nursing student. No moolah. No dinero. No cash. No--.

Spike (nods): Yeah, yeah, got da picture. Alright, off ta Pangaea we go. Least da place has some free food, even IF dat water-witch happens ta be skulkin' 'round da place. *points at Kelly* Can't you do anyt'ing 'bout her?

Kelly (nervously): Uh, no, not really. You cannot stay the hand of destiny, Spike.

*both decide to leave for Pangaea*

 

[The Count]

Well... It's mostly up-to-date... Been updating another massive list you know, and I would like to finish that one first, eventually. But PM me if you need help. And I hear Everybody Eats can work with you to pay off what you order there. Oh well, night.

 

[RedPiggy]

Spike: Quit yer complainin'. If you did your exercises like I tol' ya to, you wouldn't be so exhausted.

Kelly (dragging her feet): We walked from here to New Pangaea and back again. Of COURSE my feet are tired.

Spike (sniffs): Huh ... whazzat? *follows chocolate-y scent to the second floor common room* MMMMMM ... brownies.

Kelly (chuckles): That's it. You're sleeping out in the backyard tonight.

Spike (scarfs down some brownies): MMMWHY?

Kelly (crosses her arms, amused): I've heard what happens to those who munch strange brownies. You DO realize the bathrooms are ALL the way down the opposite hall from us, right?

Spike: Hm. *smiles* I'll let ya know if you were right. Let's hit da hay, shall we?

Kelly: Shh. It's late, people could be asleep, y'know.

*they eventually get back to their room*

Spike (sees Kelly get on the computer, frowning): You attached to dat t'ing or what? Don't you got school tomorrow?

Kelly: No, MOTHER. I have online classes ... I ain't gotta do SQUAT early tomorrow. *remembers there is no such thing as online classes in New Pangaea* Online classes mean I can sit here at the desktop and just type letters to my teacher and still get grades, even if I'm in my pajamas. I love modern technology.

Spike (shakes head, stares at ceiling): Well, keep it quick, a'ight? I actually DO stuff around dawn. Sleep in if ya want.

Kelly (pops something in her mouth): That's what the Advil PM is for. G'night. *watches Spike lie down on his mattress* (thinks to self) I hope I don't end up like his usual girlfriends. He's worse than Captain Kirk.