Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(gang is decorating suite)

Scooter and Beige: (in unison, while setting up a large cardboard crypt in the common room) "And I was paralyzed, by the fire in your eyes...paralyzed...just couldn't move."
Storyteller: (examining large fake portraits with hinged backs) Scooter, Beige, could you two come here and help me decide where we're going to put the baronets' portraits from Ruddigore?
Nora: (rigging up guillotine in kitchen) Erin, I forget - are we doing the Shrieking Shack or the Crystal Chamber from the Dark Crystal?
Erin: (daubing fake blood on a Whitechapel street sign) We're doing the Shrieking Shack - the Dark Crystal stuff's going in the bathroom.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Lisa: <Shoves piece of paper across the counter at Chef> Help me study! Nineteenth century, um... <paces in front of kitchen>
Chef: Shmergle hur? <Examines paper> Urrr. <Nods> De Nuunieteen sent.
Lisa: <Pacing> Um... Maria Edgeworth, "Letters for Literary Ladies"; ...Felicia Hemens, um... "Casabianca" and "The Hebrew Mother"; and then um... Mary Shelley, Frankenstein; and then... Charlotte Bronte, letters to Robert Southey and... George... Henry Lewes?
Chef: <Nods> Un de durn?
Lisa: Um... Charlotte Bronte, and then... Sojourner Truth, "Ain't I a Woman" and "Keeping the Thing Going While Things are Stirring"; and then... Elizabeth Barrett Browning... "A Curse for a Nation" and "The Runaway Slave"; and um... Elizabeth Barrett Browning and then--Oh, Frances Harper, um... "The Slave Mother," ..."Free Labor," ..."An Appeal to My Country Women," and "Learning to Read"; and then uh... Oh, what's her name--HARRIET JACOBS! Right?
Chef: <Nods> De Hurrier Jerkie.
Lisa: YES! I remembered! <does a small victory dance> <ahem> Right, Harriet Jacobs, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl; and then um... Oh, Emily Dickinson <makes a funny face> ...And um--Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper; and Rebecca Harding Davis, Life in the Iron Mills; and um... Kate Chopin, The Awakening! ...That should be all of 'em. RIGHT?
Chef: ...<tilts head from side to side> Mer...
Lisa: For the nineteenth century?
Chef: Ya. Furpen de nuunieteen sent, da de huulen loost.
Lisa: YES! Okay, okay. And then, um... Modernist period.
Chef: Whur de MIR de hulfen de loosty du?
Lisa: <whines> PLEASE, Chef? PLEASE? There's nobody else HERE, and the test is in two hours, PLEEEEASE?
Chef: <Sigh> <examines paper> De Muudeenuustie peri-eriod...
Lisa: THANK YOU! Okay, okay. <deep breath> <resumes pacing> Modernist period, is um... Susan Glaspell, Trifles; and then um... Virginia Woolf, A Room of One's Own; um... <rubs head> And um... <squints> There's three more... OH! Zora Neale Hurston, Dust Tracks; and then um... um... um, um, I know the titles... GAH! <rubs head> Chef... Gimme an author name?
Chef: De Eedee Whardetonie.
Lisa: ...<closes eyes> ...Edith Wharton... um... "A Journey"?
Chef: <Nods>
Lisa: Okay. Edith Wharton, "A Journey." Edith Wharton, "A Journey." Edith Wharton, "A Journey." And... the other one... um... <rubs head> <sigh> <reaches for paper> Lemme see?
Chef: <hands over paper>
Lisa: <examines paper> ...<turns it right side up> Katherine Mansfield. Katherine Mansfield. Katherine Mansfield. "The Doll's House." <Sigh> <sits on stool by counter> I NEED to work on the Modernist Period... <Rubs head> Is it lunch time?
Chef: LOORNCH? Yur de hur de murrken mir de hilpen de hulp fur de taste un de baken de beerthenday de day cake un yur de spec fur de LOORNCH? <Grabs cleaver>
Lisa: YEEEEEP! <jumps off stool, knocking it over> Okay, okay! EASY, Swedish, EASY! I was just asking if it was lunch TIME or not. I'm not expecting you to MAKE it!
Chef: Ya, deeben BIR! <puts cleaver down and turns to oven>
Lisa: ...<blink>... Birthday cake?
Chef: <opens oven> <chokes on smoke billowing out of oven> <pulls out a relatively unburnt cake> Fur de beerthenday de day de Rydepawndercrack. Yuurpen de ayseeturn!
Lisa: Oh yeah... <Nods> Good thinkin'... <blink> Oh, CRAP, I needa get him a PRESENT!
Chef: <puts cake down and takes paper from Lisa>
Lisa: <sigh> More studying?
Chef: <rolls up paper>
Lisa: <Blink> What are yo--
Chef: <ties paper into a knot>
Lisa: CHEF! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Chef: <ties paper into a bow>
Lisa: <Stares> Wha--I--
Chef: <hands paper bow to Lisa> De prezee fur de Rydepawndercrack. <pats Lisa's shoulder>
Lisa: ...<Blink>... Oh. ...<Blink>

 

[redBoobergurl]

Beth: Ok, you guys got everything for Ryan's present?
Red: Yep, I hope he likes the Fraggle pebbles
Beth: I'm sure he will
Mokey: And I think he'll like Pepe's new book right?
Beth: Of course he will.
Abby: Let's bring it down there!
*The present is left outside of Ryan's room with a card saying Happy Birthday from Beth, Wanda, Abby, Mokey and Red*

 

[The Count]

*A few minutes later... Since we couldn't think of what to get da Prawnidew...
*A penguin security guard watches over the stack o' presents at Room #25. Left there are: a weekend pass to the Six Flags Over Hensonville amusement park, a tub of lime jello, a bucket of seasoned popcorn, a batch of muffins (not filled with nomination envelopes like the last ones Swedish Chef made), a CD of Muppet music, and a second disc of Disney music, along with a custom Year of the Prawn Muppet DisPin.

Enjoy.

*Goes back downstairs, knocking on Beth's door... No, that's Fatatatita back out on the prowl, fluff-or-treating.
*Calls, leaves a message on Beth's answering machine.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Lisa: <rolls ball over to Rowlf's doggie bed> <sits on ball> How's the bump, Rowlf?
Rowlf: <takes ice pack off of head> Why did I let him talk me into it?
Lisa: Because it's been too long since ya had the spotlight.
Rowlf: ...Oh. <Rubs head> It's gettin' better. How'd the test go?
Lisa: Well, I feel better about this one than I did about the last one.
Rowlf: ...I thought you did good on the last one.
Lisa: I got an A on the last one.
Rowlf: ...So what d'you think you got on this one?
Lisa: <Shrug> I think I feel too confident to trust my gut.
Rowlf: Mm. <gestures to ice pack> I had the opposite problem.
Lisa: <leans over and scratches Rowlf's ear> Ya get points for effort, buddy. And hey! People are already so excited about you that they're misspelling your name again.
Rowlf: ...<stares at Lisa> Is that a good thing?
Lisa: If you phrase it right.

 

[Muppet Newsgirl]

(gang is having dinner, and listening to Lisa's description of her literary syllabus)

Beige: Wow...I'm getting a tension headache just listening to all that.
Erin: Me too; lotta reminders of all my English lit classes. But I like Glaspell's stuff; I've read both "Trifles" and "A Jury of Her Peers." Same story, different format.
Nora: I read "Yellow Wallpaper" once; that one was weird. And I think we've all read Frankenstein.
Scooter: Which has no haunted castles, no hunched-over guys named Igor, no mobs with pitchforks and torches...
Storyteller: Mmm, well, a plotline about the human condition and all that apparently wasn't juicy enough for the movie makers. Pass the chowder, please.
Erin: (passing tureen of chowder) I've read "The Doll's House," but it wasn't the one by Mansfield - it was the one by Ibsen.
Nora: Oh, is that the one where she's always talking in a little-girl voice and munching macaroons all the time?
Beige: Hey, nothing wrong with eating macaroons all the time. My great-aunt had a macaroon recipe that'd knock your baloobius off.
Scooter: You know, when we studied 1920s lit in high school, my teacher put together a study guide and set it to music - to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."
Storyteller: Oooh, interesting, very interesting.
Beige: Lemme guess, it was called "The Dreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald" or something.
Scooter: Yeah, it started like this: "Oh, the legend lives on, from the Left Bank on down, of the generation that's lost or just sleeping..."
Erin: "And Jay Gatsby, it's said, never knew he was dead, 'til Daisy's husband came creeping..."
Nora: Let me try: "Does anyone know where T.S. Eliot's mind goes, in the 'Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock..."
Storyteller: All that nonsense about coffee spoons. "And later that night, he stared at Daisy's dock light, in that novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald..."
Beige: My turn. "Old Hemingway schemes, on all outdoorsy themes; they're entirely too full of sportsmen..."

 

[The Count]

*Drops off a birthday card, swamp bubbleblower/noisemaker and photo of his Uncle Kermit and him at the Hensonville Park on that fireworks festooned picnic parade last St. Patrick's at Door #23 for Robin.
Happy birthday little green stuff.

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

Kim: (laughs) Scooter, your high school lit teacher rocked. (muffled cough)
Boober: Get back into bed!
Kim: You're not the boss of me, Boober!
Gillis: Maybe the lad has a point, for once. This is the second cold you've managed to catch in a month's time.
Kim: Oh come on, Gillis. Not you too!
Tosh: You're going to be okay to go pumpkin hunting on Saturday, right?
Mimzy: Not to mention finishing our costumes, and Halloween itself?
Boober: She will be if she stays in bed.
Kim: Oh good grief... Look, you guys should all know my track record with these things by now. I guarantee that by Sunday at the latest it'll all be over but the coughing. And that can be cleared up easily enough with cough syrup. So, there's really nothing to worry about.
Mimzy: Yeah, I guess you're right.
Boober: I still think you were pushing it going to your staff meeting this morning.
Kim: Library progress waits for no one, Boober, cold or not.

-Kim

 

[Erine81981]

*gets the present for Robin and Ryan's birthday present* There. Everything is ready. Now to carry this one off to Lisa's room and this one off to Ryan's room. *starts to hum the birthday song on the way*

Anything Muppets start to hum along. Then some Anything Monsters and Whatnots join in too.

*music kicks in*

Me, Anything Muppets, Monsters and Whatnots: Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

Me: I want to do something special for you,
It's your birthday, and you're special too.
So I brought some honkers from the outer Sesame zoo.
They honk (honk) and squak (squak) and sing just for you...

Me and the Honkers: Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You! (Honk honk honk honk!)
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You! (Honk honk honk honk!)

Me:Open your eyes...Monsters, Anything Muppets and Whatnots: (Surprise!)...here's a present.
More crazy creatures; don't worry they're pleasant.
They're upside down aliens on inside out swings,
They do things backwards, and backwards they sing...

Upside Down Aliens: Yppah Yadhtrib, Yppah Yadhtrib, Yppah Yppah Yadhtrib Ot Ouy!

Me: Which means:

Me, Whatnots, Anything Muppets, Monsters, Honkers and Upside Down Aliens: Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

Whatnots and The Monsters: There's a party, a party today.
A once a year occasion!
A party (Me: party), it's comin' your way,
Your birthday celebration!

Anything Muppets: The grandest present we've saved 'til the end,
'Cause you're the bestest of all of my friends.

Whatnots: Here's Gonzo (Hi) and Pepe (Hello) And Clifford too (What up?)

Me, Whatnots, Muppets, Anything Muppets, Honkers, Monsters and others: To celebrate your birthday with you...
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

Me: I wanted to tell you in my own special way,
But you're extra special, so have a great daaaaaaayyyyy!

Everyone: Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

(music stops) Me: Sing Along! (everyone claps their hands together)

Everyone:Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

Me: Come on!

*music starts up again*

Everyone: Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Happy Birthday To You!

(music fades out)

 

[The Count]

*Sitting down to lunch...

Count: So, another round of Potter 7 today?
Yes, gotta keep going... *Small sigh.
UD: What's wrong?
Well, after the rest of the haunters here... *Motions in a sweeping camera motion at the ghosts and ghouls who stayed at the dorms for Halloween after Count's birthday.
Numberella and the Amphisbaena are confirmed to follow-up at 21 and 22 respectively... But I just don't know what/who should be next to finish up that group of five. Maybe I should just move on to others I'm wanting to add to the cast of souls, even if they're not numerically ordered. Perhaps another Creator's Block thread is in need to get some feedback from my trusted friends. Especially Claudia... Miss her so much around here.

Oh well... *Finishes meal with a gesture to go get the CD book so an attentive audience can hear/visualize in the little tomb-seated theater conjured to accomodate all manner of spooks.

Ah, how I love this time of year. There's just something spookily special in the air.