Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[Beakerfan]

Floyd: *to Sweetums* Whoa whoa whoa.... Hey man, who's that shakin and shimmyin with Alex over there? He looks like that hum-drum who rooms with Brian over there.

Sweetums: Geez! That is him! That's Bert dancing with Alex!

Bean: *dancing the "Happy Hop"*

Animal: *sees Claudia* WO-MAN! WO-MAN! YEAH YEAH YEAH! WO-MAN! *begins chasing her*

Alex: *dancing with Bert* Wow Bert! You're a pretty good dancer!

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
Ohohoho!
This was quite a ball.
Wouldn't you agree, Beakie?

My, I feel oh so very dizzy...
maybe I'm experiencing what they call a "hang over".
(Groans)
(Hands pressed against his face)
Yes, I'm sure of it.

Beaker:
(Hic)
Meee...meeep...meep...
Meeep meeep meeep!

Bunsen:
Oh, you really think this old thing suits me?
How very kind of you, Beaker!
I got it from the dollar store...(hic)
Oopsie!

Beaker:
(Nods insistently)
Mee mee!

Bunsen:
Thank you.
I was afraid this suit made me look a little...rounder.

Beaker:
(Shakes head, no)
Meep meep!

Claudia:
You got that from the dollar store?

Bunsen:
Of course not, Plato!
Tsstsst...what made you say such a thing?

Claudia:
Bunnie, how many fingers do I have right now?

Bunsen:
Mmm, oh my...
Your fingers multiplied by twenty!
We must have this fixed, yes.
(Stumbles off the couch, clutching tightly to the nearest object)

Claudia:
Wait, what are you doing?

Bunsen:
We'll have to perform surgery on you, silly girl!

Claudia:
WOAAAAHH!
(Scrambles out of the room)

Bunsen:
Tsstsst...i-it worked, Beakie!
She's going to get us popcorn!

Beaker:
Meee meee!
(Hic)
(Bumps into another wall)

Dr. Van Neuter:
Alcohol makes the most gentlest of men look vile.
(Drinks his share)
But who gives a crud?
(Giggles)
Boys, wanna do something fun?

Bunsen:
I've had my share of fun, Phillip...
thank you.
(Hic)

Beaker:
Meep.
(Points)

Bunsen:
(Sees Newsman)
I've caught something worse than a hang over...
I'm now...hallucinating.

Beaker, I'm afraid we should....go back to our good-natured selves...
(Hic)
I don't intend to see another one of those ever again.

Beaker:
(Nods)

Claudia:
(Comes back)
Man, now I have to clean up this mess...

Bunsen:
Not to worry...I...I will help...yes...
we mustn't have you work so...hard...
now...where's that popcorn....
(Slowly drifts off to sleep on the floor)

Beaker:
(Snuggles against the cushion of the couch)
Nightmeep!

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Pulls Claudia closer to him)
They can't handle it very well...
(Giggles)

Claudia:
(Rolls eyes)

Dr. Van Neuter:
I SO won the contest!
....I...
Goodnight, mommie.
(Sleeps)

Claudia:
...............


MAN!
XD

 

[BEAR]

Tony taps Bert on the shoulder.

Tony: Hey, Bert, mind if I cut in?

Bert: Sure!

 

[The Count]

Well... Weekend's about to start. Time to settle back for Thursday night television.
*Hunkers down in our comfortable couch with remote in hand as Count and Uncle D busy themselves with a bit of fanfic, if there's any posted.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
Still as festive as ever!
You should join, dear!

Claudia:
(Dangling by a wire, swaying)
(Sleeping)

Dr. Van Neuter:
That looks so uncomfortable...

Bunsen:
(Winces slightly)
Makes me wonder how the poor thing ended up there in the first place.

Claudia:
(Falls off)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Kerplack)

[The three suffer Claudia's weight]

Claudia:
Ungh....guys, where are you?
(Sits up)

Bunsen:
Mmmffmmmm!

Dr. Van Neuter:
MY SPLEEN!

Beaker:
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEFFFPPP!

Claudia:
This feels comfy...

Dr. Van Neuter:
This is sooo wrong!
I'm married, you dirtbag!

Claudia:
Huh? Dirtbag?
Who?

Bunsen:
What he means to say, Miss...
Is that you are putting a huge (intolerable) amount of pressure on our little foam/rubber bodies..capable of sending us to the next lifetime...where we may witness odd things that compose of chrome and-

Dr. Van Neuter:
GET OFF, SQUIRT!

Claudia:
EEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Jumps up)

Beaker:
(Tramatized)
M...meem....emeeee...

 

[Beakerfan]

Alex: Huh? Oh, Animal? Naw, you don't have to worry about him. He's always been protective of me. And a little jealous. But he's really a total sweetheart. He'll be fine as long as he sees that my attitude towards him isn't any different. And as long as Floyd keeps a tight grip on that chain.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Beaker:
(Hangs up a piece sign to Tony, as a sign he can take Alex)
Meeeep!
(Covers his nonexistant privates with a shield)

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

The weirder things in life...

Bunsen:
(Smiles obliviously)
Look how flexible Mr. Newsman is!
Jolly good fun!

Dr. Van Neuter:
It's a wonder how he even tolerates it!

Bunsen:
Really? It doesn't look so painful.
(Laughs lightly)
And if it does--just remember...a muppet is capable of withstanding any physical discomfort!
It's been proven true many times by my clumsy assistant, Beaker.

Beaker:
(Holds the peace treaty happily)
(Glares at Bunsen)
MEE MEE MEE!

Bunsen:
Surely, Beaker, I never meant that!
(Hic)

Beaker:
(Presses his hand against his chest as if his beloved had done a terrible deed, his head to the side indicating his great disdain)
OHMEEP!

Bunsen:
Don't you start with that, Beaker.
(Scolds lightly)
(Stumbles across the room)
What a lovely cactus you are, Mr. Wall!

Beaker:
(Insists deeply)
MEE MEE MEEEEEEEEEE!

Bunsen:
Not in front of the guests!
Please let's talk about this some other time.
(Looks around timidly, covering his mouth worriedly)
No one should ever know about that.

Beaker:
(Tears up)
Mu-mu-MEE MEE MEE!

Bunsen:
Oh, Beakie, don't you know it's always about you?

Beaker:
(Gasps)

Bunsen:
I didn't mean that, either!
(Dreads)

Beaker:
(Sobs wildly)

[Dr Van Neuter sipping on some coffee]

Dr. Van Neuter:
What are they on about?

Claudia:
Doc, they are drunk, what's to expect?

Dr. Van Neuter:
They did it again?

Bunsen:
Hoohoo!
I've got a question to challege that one!
Why is a dish so much like a writing desk?
(Hic)

Mercy me!

Beaker:
(Raising his teacup)
Mee mee mee!

Bunsen:
You don't really mean that.
(Looks away somewhat bashfully)

Beaker:
Mee mee mwwwoooo!
(Nods)

Bunsen:
Such a charmer!

[Claudia and Neuter look to eachother]

Claudia:
Weren't they just fighting?

Dr. Van Neuter:
Duh!

Claudia:
Geez, thanks.

[They look on in disbelief]

Bunsen:
Such a wide frame!
Oh, you are just gorgeous, dear!
Mmm, and...(hic) I love how flat you are....
(Flirting with the window)

Beaker:
(Hugging a lamp)
Mee mee mmeeeeee!
To meeee!
meeeeeeeeeep!
(Singing "You are so beautiful")

[They look to eachother, baffled]

Claudia:
Come on, guys...

Bunsen:
Claudia, I see you in a whole new light!
You are brilliant!
(Hugs a pillow)

Claudia:
That's not me, silly.
(Raises an eyebrow)
Are you calling me fat?
'Cause I'm not like that, you know!

Bunsen:
Oh, no, I realize that.
However, you seem plumper than usual...
Might I suggest eating less?
(Pets the pillow)

Claudia:
Don't make me smack you, you li-

Dr. Van Neuter:
Calm down, Claudia.
Geez.

Claudia:
THE LITTLE KNOW-IT-ALL CALLED ME FAT!

Dr. Van Neuter:
He's not himself, Claudia.

Beaker:
(Pokes the pillow)

Bunsen:
(Prances to the room without grace)
I am a pretty butterfly!
Come on, Miss Claudia!
You seem so sluggish tonight!
(Drags the pillow)

Yes...you've gotten fat...but...
how is it you've gotten lighter?

Claudia:
(Turning red from anger)
THAT LIT-
(Bumps into the wall)

Bunsen:
Look, Beakie!
It's big-foot!

Let's catch it!
(Drags the pillow with him)

 

[BEAR]

Janice: *to Brian* Like, d'ya wanna dance?

Bryan: Umm...fer sure?

 

[BEAR]

Ernie: Muppet College Dorms were brought to you today by the number 2 for two-step, and by the letter D for dance. Come on, Everyone! Let's "Do De Rubber Duck"!