Muppet College Dorms: The Next Semester

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Yes, sir!
(Goes over to the Lazaraus Chamber)
Odd place.
Here you go!
(Places him gently on the floor)
You should be careful the next time you intend to explode.
Leave it to the experts.
(Looks on egoistically)
x)

 

[Beakerfan]

*still sitting on Tony's bed, eagerly watching the antics* Wow....

 

[Beakerfan]

Sweetums: Alex, it's getting late... you should come to bed.

Alex: Oh, it's allright. I'll stay a little longer. Make sure Bean gets to bed, ok?

Sweetums: Ok. Don't be too late.

Alex: Yes, mom.

Sweetums: *closes the door and puts Bean to bed*

Alex: This sure is entertaining.... I wonder when Lefty, Newsie, and Harry are going to get back. They've been gone an awful..... long....... tiiiiime...... *falls asleep*

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Bunsen:
(Sleeping over his writing desk)

Dr. Van Neuter:
(Sleeping on a flammable machine)

Beaker:
(Sleeping on a cot where he was supposed to go through surgery)

Claudia:
This is really weird.
(Blinks)

 

[The Count]

*Today... Recomposed and re-empowered... Thank you Clauds. Now then, off to the reading room to see what's been posted there.
*Gets bowl of cereal and reads while having his usual breakfast.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Alex: This sure is entertaining.... I wonder when Lefty, Newsie, and Harry are going to get back. They've been gone an awful..... long....... tiiiiime...... *falls asleep*

Tony opens his eyes and yawns. He feels something snuggled against him. He looks, and sees Alex, her head resting on his chest. Tony carefully puts his arm around her, and gently strokes her back. He closes his eyes, totally at peace.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

Claudia:
Bunnie, what happened to you?
You've got a bit of a bruise there.

Bunsen:
Well, Claudia, I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Beaker:
(Snickers)

Claudia:
Oh stop with the puns, Bunnie.

Bunsen:
Honest, I am teling you the truth!
It's just as factual as
not brushing your teeth for ten years...
You'd get quite a....tooth decade!

Claudia:
(Rolls eyes)
What were you doing?

Bunsen:
Running some processes.
That's all.

Dr. Van Neuter:
And for the first time, Beaker was unharmed!

Bunsen:
Oh goodness!
Strange to see him back in one piece!

Beaker:
(Half of his body falls to the side)

Dr. Van Neuter:
HAH!
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now

Bunsen:
Tsstsstsst!

Claudia:
(Sews Beaker together)
You guys.
(Shakes head)

 

[The Count]

Mmm... Looks like Aunt Ru might have someone to get the pun police off of her trail if Clauds' roomies keep going like that.

 

[Winslow Leach]

Tony carries two tables into his room and sets them down. He puts a tablecloth on it, then places two candles atop. He lights each one. He carries two chairs in, and sets them.

Gee, Alex, you seem to like my room. It's like you've been here all day! The food should be here any minute now. Just relax until it arrives.

Lefty and Newsie enter.

Lefty: What's dis?

Newsie: Looks like we're just in time for dinner! Yummy!

Tony: Out.

Lefty: Huh?

Tony: Out.

Newsie: This is our room too, you know!

Lefty: Yeah, ya can't just trow us out like old, raggedy puppets!

Tony: Guys, I'm entertaining Alex tonight.

Newsie: Too bad. There is no way you'll get us to leave this room tonight. Right, Lefty?

Lefty: Dat's right! Dere is no way we're gonna leave dis room!

Tony reaches into his pocket, and hands Newsie a $50 bill.

Tony: Here...why don't you two go out to dinner?

Newsie (as Tony hands him the money) Well, I suppose we could--(in a flash, the money disappears, seemingly into thin air) What the...?

Lefty (holding the money) My precious...

Newsie: Lefty, where did that money go?

Lefty (pocketing the money) What money?

Newsie: Lefty, Tony just gave us a $50 bill. Now cough it up!

Lefty coughs...nothing comes up.

Lefty: See? I told ya I don't have nothin'!

Newsie puts a hand around Lefty's throat, and starts shaking him.

Newsie: You listen to me, you little sneak thief, either you hand over that money, or I'll...

Lefty: All right, all right...keep yer shoit on! (Lefty holds out the money; Newsie takes one end, but Lefty still holds the other) Geez, I was gonna split it wit ya! Why do ya always tink I'm some lowlife teef?

Newsie: Let go!

Lefty: What?

Newsie: Let go!

Lefty: N'uh-uh! Dis is my half!

Newsie: Oh, for pete's sake! Look, just give me the--

Lefty: NO!

Newsie: Blaaargh!

Lefty and Newsie walk out of the room, both tugging their end of the $50 bill.

Tony: Hey Abbott and Costello, don't forget the third stooge!

Tony wheels the cot, on which Crazy Harry is still straightjacketed and gagged, into the hallway, and pushes it in his roomies' direction.

Tony: Sorry about that. Anyway. Feel free to visit anytime. This room is your room. By the way, I slept wonderfully last night! It was very comfortable!

 

[Winslow Leach]

A knock on the door. Tony answers. It is a Muppet Caterer, and he pushes two carts into the room.

Tony: Thank you, sir. I'll take it from here.

(hands the caterer a tip; caterer exits)

Tony: Okay! We have New England clam chowder...lobster tails...crab legs...assorted clams...some nice fillet of sole...and a bottle of bubbly!

(picks up what looks like a champagne bottle)

Carbonated Welch's grape juice...vintage 2008!

(Tony holds out a chair for Alex; when she sits, he begins serving the food, starting with the chowder)