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Okay folks, here you go. This quick snippet was done during lunch and while Google docs takes a ridiculously long time to sync my Excel sheet. Enjoy!
It’s amazing how fast the day goes when you need to be doing something.
In what seemed like a matter of minutes, both Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy found themselves going from the morning hours of Tuesday morning to that of later in the night. Around eight o’clock, Kermit and his valet found themselves in front of the hotel of the diva, awaiting her arrival so that they could drive her to the airport. This certainly wasn’t the first time that Piggy needed to fly out for something, but it was the first time in which Kermit had been apprehensive about it.
Despite assurances to the contrary, Kermit still held on to the small amount of fear that told him this was going to be the very last time he would see Piggy again, unless he himself took the time to seek her out in Paris. He had tried it before – though, he hadn’t known she was in Paris at the time – but he had made inquiries before they had all completely gone their separate ways.
You can learn a lot about people when you start asking after an ex.
He had first gone to Scooter, whom he knew would keep close tabs on Piggy even if he hadn’t been asked. Ironically, or maybe not so ironically, Scooter didn’t have any information to give him; in hindsight – and even at that particular moment – Kermit had the sense that even if Scooter did know where the diva pig was, he wasn’t planning on telling the frog anytime soon.
He had gotten the same reaction from Gonzo, though there were times when he thought the stuntman was just looking for a reason to punch him. Not that Gonzo was a violent person in any instance; however, it was no secret that the blue weirdo had held a torch for Piggy and truthfully – as happy as he was with Camilla – Kermit wasn’t sure that crush had ever gone away.
The two of them had never broached the subject, though there were times when Gonzo had hinted that the frog had better watch out should he ever lose her; Kermit just figured that his friend was joking with him or making light of the fact that, once a long time ago, one of his best friends had his sights set on his girl…
Remembering that reminded Kermit that he needed to get some things off his chest and hopefully reconnect with friends. He would of course need to start with Piggy, then Scooter, Gonzo, definitely Fozzie…his musings were interrupted when he noticed one of the busboys begin to haul out designer luggage that could only be his passenger’s.
He was, however, surprised at the fact that there was so very little of it, namely about three bags.
The passenger in question bustled out, spotting the older car and making her way into the backseat. “Hello, mon cher!” she greeted him, a smile on her face. “Moi is quite ready to go, just as soon as the luggage is stowed away.”
“About that,” he began. “That can’t be it, right? There’s more busboys coming out with the rest?”
Piggy giggled, nervously before stating, “Silly frog. Moi doesn’t pack that much.”
“Are you kidding?” he queried. “Remind me how long we’ve been together…”
“So long, we make Hawn and Russell look like newlyweds.”
“Precisely,” Kermit agreed, though he had to mentally tally how long Hawn and Russell had been together versus their own situation. “So I think I’m aware at just how much luggage you’re likely to pack and three bags? Either you lost your luggage on the way to the car or there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Have you always been this suspicious?”
“Do you remember where we work?” he retorted. “And who we work with?”
“Please state the nature of the destination,” intoned 80’s robot.
“The airport, s’il vous plait,” Piggy replied, waiting patiently while the robot hastily pulled out into traffic, nearly sideswiping a passing car as he did. “I’m starting to see why Scooter hates you so much,” she muttered.
Turning to Kermit, the smile returned to her face. “It just so happens, Kermit my love, that the rest of Moi’s luggage is in Paris, France. Now you might be asking, ‘why, sweet beautiful Piggy, is your luggage still in Paris?’ to which I will reply that…I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay. There. I’ve said it.”
“That certainly makes sense,” Kermit said. “What…um…what does that mean for your return then?”
Piggy sighed, good naturedly. “It means you’re going to need to get a bigger car.”
“What?” he grinned. “You’re going to bring back your apartment, along with your luggage?”
“Keep it up, Frog, and I’ll bring back my entire office.”
“It was a nice office.”
“Yes,” Piggy said, wistfully. “That statue Fozzie broke really tied the room together. It was an antique, you know.”
“Priceless antique?”
“Oh yeah. Very expensive.”
“How…expensive?”
“First born child expensive.”
“His or ours?”
The diva turned a surprised, but knowing look in his direction. “Why Kermit,” she cooed. “I’ve always known you wanted children. And here you are declaring it out loud.”
“I walked into that, didn’t I?”
“Not with my help, you didn’t.”
The ride to LAX was amicable, showcasing just how much the two could easily be in sync with one another, even if there was a storm brewing on the horizon. This night, luckily, didn’t have a storm per se, but Kermit did feel as though they might be headed into troubled waters.
“You know,” his companion said. “You worry too much.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“I mean it, Kermit,” Piggy said, seriously. “You really do worry about the littlest things.”
“Such as?”
“Such as Moi’s trip,” she began. “You’re still worried that I won’t return, aren’t you?”
“Until such a time I see your smiling face safely within the city limits of Beverly Hills, yes, I am that worried.”
“So poetic, you are.”
This time, the frog sighed, realizing his very irrational fears were starting to get the best of him. “I’m starting to make you want to leave and stay in France, aren’t I?” he asked, sheepishly.
“On the contrary, mon cher,” replied the pig. “You’re giving me even more reason to return.”
[hr]
Why is saying goodbye always so sad?
Kermit didn’t like to admit it, but he was a sentimental frog. He was the type of Muppet who kept every single important artifact of his life and that of his friends’ lives. That was why he had five different banjos sitting in his office, why he kept an out of tune piano in his living room, and why he had a Rogue’s Gallery of artwork in the hallway of his house; he had memories of people and places that he liked to hold on to.
Thankfully, taking a flight out of LAX on a Tuesday night was a relatively quiet affair that allowed the frog to give him to the amount of sadness he didn’t know he had until that very moment. Saying goodbye to Piggy had never been an easy accomplishment; if they were arguing, neither one of them allowed the other to have the last word and when they weren’t arguing, watching her leave was still the hardest thing he ever saw.
In the past, they would’ve been able to wait in the lobby area for the air carrier and flight, but since the events of September 11th, that was no longer an option, which meant that Kermit would need to say his goodbyes before she went through the security check in. “Sure you have everything?”
“Moi has everything she needs for the moment.”
“Oh good.”
They were silent for a few moments. “Kermit…”
“You will call me once you arrive, won’t you?” he asked.
“There’s a huge time difference,” she whispered. “It might be very late for you here…”
“I’ll wait for you.”
Not, “I’ll wait for your call”, but “I’ll wait for you” and in that moment, both knew exactly what that meant.
“Of course, Kermie.”
Kermit sighed, deeply. “I’m really going to miss you,” he whispered.
Any type of quiet, dignity, and grace that Piggy hoped to hold on to during this all went out the window. When Kermit looked all forelorn and sad, what was there to do but hug him? Which is of course what she did.
“Oh Kermie!” she gushed.
“Squeezing a little too tight, sweetie.”
“Of course Moi is going to miss you more than anything!”
“Kinda hurting me.”
“Moi will make sure to call as soon as Moi gets off the plane, mon cher!”
“Choking me to death.”
“Mon Capitaine, this may be the most difficult of goodbyes that we’ve ever faced!”
“Going to black out.”
“Kermie, are you as lightheaded as I am right now?”
“Probably more so.”
“What?” Piggy then realized that she had been literally squeezing the life out of her frog for the past few minutes. “Oh Kermit, I’m so sorry! Moi was a little excited and teary and…”
“Thank you for letting me breathe again.”
“You’re really no good to me dead.”
“Cute,” he chuckled. “Cute retort.”
Various announcements started to go through the air, as planes were gearing up to take off or were just pulling in. “I…I should probably go,” Piggy whispered.
“Call me,” Kermit reiterated. “As soon as you get in, regardless of time. Okay?”
“I will, Kermie.”
“Do try and stay out of trouble.”
A knowing smirk graced the porcine lips. “What would be the fun in that?” Turning with one bag trailing behind her – a compromise that went way smoother than either had anticipated – Kermit watched her, like the many times he had seen her off before, however unlike those other times when he was compelled to say what was on his mind, he actually managed to give voice to the words.
“I love you.”
Shock almost had her spinning around on the spot, but at the last second she managed to retain her composure in order to offer him a response to a declaration she could count on one hand that she had ever heard from him.
“I know.”
Smooth, girl. Very smooth.
It was witty, it was calm, and it was quick. To anyone else, it might have been a cheap reference to a popular movie, but Kermit – she hoped – knew and understood that she was well aware how he felt (and had been aware of it for some time) and that yes, she too felt the same. However, there was a time and place for heart felt endearments and this was not one of them.
When she returned, one the other hand…
Kermit, for his part, couldn’t stop the chuckle that found its way out of his mouth. “Cute reference,” he whispered, as he watched her go through the doors that would lead her through the security process.
Duty accomplished, Kermit the Frog debated on the idea of either heading home or not. Instead, he decided to reach for the cell phone that everyone had insisted he get, but hardly ever used. Scooter and Piggy had been nice – or devious – enough to program everyone’s phone numbers within it, though he was sure it was Piggy who supplied the names and pictures.
Going by picture, he found the person he was looking for.
“Hey.”
“Hey Kermit. Something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” the frog replied. “Why do you ask?”
“Well,” said the voice. “Kinda late for you to be calling, isn’t it?”
“Oh,” Kermit said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Gee, you’re right. Wasn’t sure what I was thinking. You know what, why don’t I call back tomorrow? You’re probably busy.”
“You kidding? I just ordered a pizza! I got a sudden jolt of creativity that I just couldn’t let go. Actually, you know what? You should come over right now! I don’t think any of this could possibly wait until next week.”
“Um…”
“You called for a reason, Frog, and I’m giving you one.”
Kermit did laugh at that. Leave it to Gonzo to point out the very obvious. “You are right in that,” he said. “Alright, I’m coming over, but if I get hit in the head like last time…”
“Please,” Gonzo said. “I wasn’t even aiming at you. This time, however…”
Only...two more scenes to go!
It’s amazing how fast the day goes when you need to be doing something.
In what seemed like a matter of minutes, both Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy found themselves going from the morning hours of Tuesday morning to that of later in the night. Around eight o’clock, Kermit and his valet found themselves in front of the hotel of the diva, awaiting her arrival so that they could drive her to the airport. This certainly wasn’t the first time that Piggy needed to fly out for something, but it was the first time in which Kermit had been apprehensive about it.
Despite assurances to the contrary, Kermit still held on to the small amount of fear that told him this was going to be the very last time he would see Piggy again, unless he himself took the time to seek her out in Paris. He had tried it before – though, he hadn’t known she was in Paris at the time – but he had made inquiries before they had all completely gone their separate ways.
You can learn a lot about people when you start asking after an ex.
He had first gone to Scooter, whom he knew would keep close tabs on Piggy even if he hadn’t been asked. Ironically, or maybe not so ironically, Scooter didn’t have any information to give him; in hindsight – and even at that particular moment – Kermit had the sense that even if Scooter did know where the diva pig was, he wasn’t planning on telling the frog anytime soon.
He had gotten the same reaction from Gonzo, though there were times when he thought the stuntman was just looking for a reason to punch him. Not that Gonzo was a violent person in any instance; however, it was no secret that the blue weirdo had held a torch for Piggy and truthfully – as happy as he was with Camilla – Kermit wasn’t sure that crush had ever gone away.
The two of them had never broached the subject, though there were times when Gonzo had hinted that the frog had better watch out should he ever lose her; Kermit just figured that his friend was joking with him or making light of the fact that, once a long time ago, one of his best friends had his sights set on his girl…
Remembering that reminded Kermit that he needed to get some things off his chest and hopefully reconnect with friends. He would of course need to start with Piggy, then Scooter, Gonzo, definitely Fozzie…his musings were interrupted when he noticed one of the busboys begin to haul out designer luggage that could only be his passenger’s.
He was, however, surprised at the fact that there was so very little of it, namely about three bags.
The passenger in question bustled out, spotting the older car and making her way into the backseat. “Hello, mon cher!” she greeted him, a smile on her face. “Moi is quite ready to go, just as soon as the luggage is stowed away.”
“About that,” he began. “That can’t be it, right? There’s more busboys coming out with the rest?”
Piggy giggled, nervously before stating, “Silly frog. Moi doesn’t pack that much.”
“Are you kidding?” he queried. “Remind me how long we’ve been together…”
“So long, we make Hawn and Russell look like newlyweds.”
“Precisely,” Kermit agreed, though he had to mentally tally how long Hawn and Russell had been together versus their own situation. “So I think I’m aware at just how much luggage you’re likely to pack and three bags? Either you lost your luggage on the way to the car or there’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Have you always been this suspicious?”
“Do you remember where we work?” he retorted. “And who we work with?”
“Please state the nature of the destination,” intoned 80’s robot.
“The airport, s’il vous plait,” Piggy replied, waiting patiently while the robot hastily pulled out into traffic, nearly sideswiping a passing car as he did. “I’m starting to see why Scooter hates you so much,” she muttered.
Turning to Kermit, the smile returned to her face. “It just so happens, Kermit my love, that the rest of Moi’s luggage is in Paris, France. Now you might be asking, ‘why, sweet beautiful Piggy, is your luggage still in Paris?’ to which I will reply that…I wasn’t sure if I was going to stay. There. I’ve said it.”
“That certainly makes sense,” Kermit said. “What…um…what does that mean for your return then?”
Piggy sighed, good naturedly. “It means you’re going to need to get a bigger car.”
“What?” he grinned. “You’re going to bring back your apartment, along with your luggage?”
“Keep it up, Frog, and I’ll bring back my entire office.”
“It was a nice office.”
“Yes,” Piggy said, wistfully. “That statue Fozzie broke really tied the room together. It was an antique, you know.”
“Priceless antique?”
“Oh yeah. Very expensive.”
“How…expensive?”
“First born child expensive.”
“His or ours?”
The diva turned a surprised, but knowing look in his direction. “Why Kermit,” she cooed. “I’ve always known you wanted children. And here you are declaring it out loud.”
“I walked into that, didn’t I?”
“Not with my help, you didn’t.”
The ride to LAX was amicable, showcasing just how much the two could easily be in sync with one another, even if there was a storm brewing on the horizon. This night, luckily, didn’t have a storm per se, but Kermit did feel as though they might be headed into troubled waters.
“You know,” his companion said. “You worry too much.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“I mean it, Kermit,” Piggy said, seriously. “You really do worry about the littlest things.”
“Such as?”
“Such as Moi’s trip,” she began. “You’re still worried that I won’t return, aren’t you?”
“Until such a time I see your smiling face safely within the city limits of Beverly Hills, yes, I am that worried.”
“So poetic, you are.”
This time, the frog sighed, realizing his very irrational fears were starting to get the best of him. “I’m starting to make you want to leave and stay in France, aren’t I?” he asked, sheepishly.
“On the contrary, mon cher,” replied the pig. “You’re giving me even more reason to return.”
[hr]
Why is saying goodbye always so sad?
Kermit didn’t like to admit it, but he was a sentimental frog. He was the type of Muppet who kept every single important artifact of his life and that of his friends’ lives. That was why he had five different banjos sitting in his office, why he kept an out of tune piano in his living room, and why he had a Rogue’s Gallery of artwork in the hallway of his house; he had memories of people and places that he liked to hold on to.
Thankfully, taking a flight out of LAX on a Tuesday night was a relatively quiet affair that allowed the frog to give him to the amount of sadness he didn’t know he had until that very moment. Saying goodbye to Piggy had never been an easy accomplishment; if they were arguing, neither one of them allowed the other to have the last word and when they weren’t arguing, watching her leave was still the hardest thing he ever saw.
In the past, they would’ve been able to wait in the lobby area for the air carrier and flight, but since the events of September 11th, that was no longer an option, which meant that Kermit would need to say his goodbyes before she went through the security check in. “Sure you have everything?”
“Moi has everything she needs for the moment.”
“Oh good.”
They were silent for a few moments. “Kermit…”
“You will call me once you arrive, won’t you?” he asked.
“There’s a huge time difference,” she whispered. “It might be very late for you here…”
“I’ll wait for you.”
Not, “I’ll wait for your call”, but “I’ll wait for you” and in that moment, both knew exactly what that meant.
“Of course, Kermie.”
Kermit sighed, deeply. “I’m really going to miss you,” he whispered.
Any type of quiet, dignity, and grace that Piggy hoped to hold on to during this all went out the window. When Kermit looked all forelorn and sad, what was there to do but hug him? Which is of course what she did.
“Oh Kermie!” she gushed.
“Squeezing a little too tight, sweetie.”
“Of course Moi is going to miss you more than anything!”
“Kinda hurting me.”
“Moi will make sure to call as soon as Moi gets off the plane, mon cher!”
“Choking me to death.”
“Mon Capitaine, this may be the most difficult of goodbyes that we’ve ever faced!”
“Going to black out.”
“Kermie, are you as lightheaded as I am right now?”
“Probably more so.”
“What?” Piggy then realized that she had been literally squeezing the life out of her frog for the past few minutes. “Oh Kermit, I’m so sorry! Moi was a little excited and teary and…”
“Thank you for letting me breathe again.”
“You’re really no good to me dead.”
“Cute,” he chuckled. “Cute retort.”
Various announcements started to go through the air, as planes were gearing up to take off or were just pulling in. “I…I should probably go,” Piggy whispered.
“Call me,” Kermit reiterated. “As soon as you get in, regardless of time. Okay?”
“I will, Kermie.”
“Do try and stay out of trouble.”
A knowing smirk graced the porcine lips. “What would be the fun in that?” Turning with one bag trailing behind her – a compromise that went way smoother than either had anticipated – Kermit watched her, like the many times he had seen her off before, however unlike those other times when he was compelled to say what was on his mind, he actually managed to give voice to the words.
“I love you.”
Shock almost had her spinning around on the spot, but at the last second she managed to retain her composure in order to offer him a response to a declaration she could count on one hand that she had ever heard from him.
“I know.”
Smooth, girl. Very smooth.
It was witty, it was calm, and it was quick. To anyone else, it might have been a cheap reference to a popular movie, but Kermit – she hoped – knew and understood that she was well aware how he felt (and had been aware of it for some time) and that yes, she too felt the same. However, there was a time and place for heart felt endearments and this was not one of them.
When she returned, one the other hand…
Kermit, for his part, couldn’t stop the chuckle that found its way out of his mouth. “Cute reference,” he whispered, as he watched her go through the doors that would lead her through the security process.
Duty accomplished, Kermit the Frog debated on the idea of either heading home or not. Instead, he decided to reach for the cell phone that everyone had insisted he get, but hardly ever used. Scooter and Piggy had been nice – or devious – enough to program everyone’s phone numbers within it, though he was sure it was Piggy who supplied the names and pictures.
Going by picture, he found the person he was looking for.
“Hey.”
“Hey Kermit. Something wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” the frog replied. “Why do you ask?”
“Well,” said the voice. “Kinda late for you to be calling, isn’t it?”
“Oh,” Kermit said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Gee, you’re right. Wasn’t sure what I was thinking. You know what, why don’t I call back tomorrow? You’re probably busy.”
“You kidding? I just ordered a pizza! I got a sudden jolt of creativity that I just couldn’t let go. Actually, you know what? You should come over right now! I don’t think any of this could possibly wait until next week.”
“Um…”
“You called for a reason, Frog, and I’m giving you one.”
Kermit did laugh at that. Leave it to Gonzo to point out the very obvious. “You are right in that,” he said. “Alright, I’m coming over, but if I get hit in the head like last time…”
“Please,” Gonzo said. “I wasn’t even aiming at you. This time, however…”
Only...two more scenes to go!
)
, shouldn't she be at home, or does she have a ladies night out with the other clucks. Uncle Gonzo? Argh, I'm all questions with this comeback. Take us home Mr. 80s Robot. And post more please!