MissMusical12's Muppet Show Outlines

MissMusical12

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My gosh, are these even around anymore? Cause I would LOVE to do my own Muppet Show outlines. So, I've decided to do a collection of my own Muppet Show outlines!! :halo: I've been reading some of the past outlines done by other forum members, and may I just say they are impressive! That's what influenced me to do my own outlines! So....without further ado, here's my first TMS outline!
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GUEST STAR: Robert Englund (The guy who does Freddy Krueger. (Or used to do it))
STYLE: Season 5

COLD OPENING: Pops is attempting to carve a Jack-O-Lantern, when Robert enters with one hand behind his back.
Pops: Hey, who are you?

Robert: I'm Robert Englund. I'm supposed to be the guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.

Pops: Robert Englund, eh? The star of them flasher movies?

Robert: Flasher? No you mean "slasher" movies.

Pops: That's what I said. Hey, ya think you can help me carve this darn pumpkin.

Robert: Oh sure. -reveals the one hand behind his back as one his hands for Freddy Krueger-

Pops: Ahhhh! A knife hand has dissected your hand! -ducks behind the desk-

Robert: I guess this is what happens when you've been doing a slasher movie for so long.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo's trumpet howls like a ware wolf.
Gonzo: There's a full moon out tonight!

INTRODUCTION: Kermit comes onstage, dressed as a vampire.

Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho, and welcome again to The Muppet Show! May I now warn the audience that tonight's show will be a lot scarier than usual.

Waldorf: That's no surprise.

Statler: Yeah, the show always scares us.

Kermit: Oh but tonight will be especially scary. We are celebrating Halloween here at the Muppet Theater, along with our guest star, that great actor of horror films such as "A Nightmare On Elm Street:" Robert Englund!

Audience: Ooooooooh!

Kermit: Yes. But first, here are a group of Happy Haunts that are dying to perform this first number.

MUSICAL NUMBER: Grim Grinning Ghosts, performed by a group of ghosts while scaring a Whatnot grave keeper.

BALCONY:
Waldorf: Oh well didn't that last number make you grin?

Statler: No, it was so bad, I kept frowning the entire time.

Both: Dohohohoho!

Waldorf: Boo!

Statler: Boo!

BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Very good ghosts and ghouls and goblins and whatever.

Scooter (dressed as a Skeleton): But chief, there weren't any goblins in the last number.

Goblin: That's what you think.

Kermit: Okay, Scooter, who's on next?

Scooter: Ummmm, Sammy The Dancing and Juggling Skeleton.

Kermit: Okay, Sammy The Dancing and Juggling Skeleton onstage!

Uncle Deadly: Excuse me, Mr. Kermit sir.

Kermit: -turns to see Uncle Deadly and jumps- Ah! Oh, hello, Deadly. What's the matter?

Uncle Deadly: Well, I hear your guest star is a Mister...Robert Englund.

Kermit: Yes, it is.

Uncle Deadly: -gasp- My dream! Next to Vincent Price, this a dream come true! I must perform a number with him.

Kermit: Well, I don't know if he's much of a singer but.....

Robert: Hey, Kermit?

Kermit: Oh look it's our guest star, Robert Englund. Yay!!!!

Robert: Kermit, did anyone just ask if they wanted to do a musical number with me?

Uncle Deadly: -touching Robert's arm- Are you a devil from heck? Are you from England?

Robert: No, I'm from California.

Uncle Deadly: Oh, my deepest apologies, Mr. Englund, but I am HUGE fan of yours.

Robert: Really? This seems kind of awkward because usually people don't root for villains.

Uncle Deadly: I'm different. I LOVE villains! The Wicked Witch of The West, Cruella Deville, that dragon in Sleeping Beauty.....she was a fiery one.

Robert: How do you know?

Uncle Deadly: I've dated her.

VET'S HOSPITAL: (Zombie)

Announcer: And now, Veternarian's Hospital. The continuing stoooooorrrrrrry of a quack who's gone to the dogs.

Dr. Bob: Well, who's our patient today?

Nurse Piggy: He just came up from the graveyard.

Nurse Janice: Like, it's a zombie.

Dr. Bob: Well there's no use trying to cure him.

Nurse Janice: Why not?

Dr. Bob: He's already dead.

All three: Ahahahahaha

Announcer: And so we come to the end of another Veternarian's Hospital.

Dr. Bob: That was fast.

Announcer: Tune in next week when you'll hear The Zombie say........

Zombie: Uhhhhhhh...........

Nurse Piggy: Dr. Bob, it's alive!

Nurse Janice: What do we do?

Dr. Bob: What else? RUN!!!!

All three: AHHHHHH!!!!! -run offstage-

Zombie: What's the matter with them? Haven't they ever heard of "The Night of The Living Dead?"


BACKSTAGE:

Miss Piggy runs to Kermit, still terrified of the zombie from the last sketch.

Miss Piggy: Kermie, hide me! It might get me!

Kermit: Piggy, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a harmless zombie.

Miss Piggy: -turns around and sees Robert, fully dressed as a fancy zombie- AAAAAHHHHHHHH! -runs upstairs towards her dressing room- I HATE HALLOWEEN! -slams dressing room door-

Robert: Okay, Kermit. Me and Deadly are ready for the number.

Kermit: Oh good, because you two are up next.

Uncle Deadly: Already? That was fast! Let us go and perform! -goes onstage with Robert-

Kermit: This is going to be one crazy night........geesh. -goes onstage to introduce the next number-

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to class up our Halloween show tonight is our own....creature, Uncle Deadly, and our very special guest star Mr. Robert Englund! YAAAAAY!!!!!!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Puttin' On The Ritz, performed by Uncle Deadly and Robert Englund as a zombie.

BALCONY:
Waldorf: I never knew Freddy Krueger could tap dance.

Statler: I never even thought a zombie could tap dance. Aren't they dead?

Zombie: Not me.

Waldorf and Statler: ZOMBIE! AHHHH!!!! -jump off the balcony-

NEWS FLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! "Witches have been popping up all over Even Eye County in Kansas, causing such mayhem as whipping up tornadoes, eating little children by luring them into candy houses, turning the governor into a frog, and offering poisonous apples to the citizens at the farmer's market. If anyone has any information about these witches, please call......"

Witch (disguised as an old hag): Excuse me, sir, but would you like an apple?

Newsman: Why certainly, old lady I've never seen before in my entire life. -eats apple and faints-

Witch: Ha ha. What a buffoon.

UK SKIT: Floyd sings Undercover Angel, with Janice as "his angel" along with The Female Singers as angels. (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Female_Singers)

UK BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Well done, Floyd. Well done.

Floyd: Thanks my froggy friend. -turns back to Janice- You I know I just can't help but say you look beautiful in that outfit.

Janice: Like, do you think I could be a Charlie's Angel with this on?

Floyd: With that on, you're my angel. If you were on the cover of Playboy with that on, I think Dorothy Stratten would be rolling in her grave right now. -kisses her cheek-

Janice: Fer sure. -the two exit-

Kermit: Oh, Scooter!

Scooter: Yeah, boss?

Kermit: Has Robert decided on what he's going to do for the last number yet?

Scooter: No, Gonzo and Uncle Deadly are talking about that with him right now.

Kermit: Oh.......did you say Gonzo?

Scooter: Yes.

Kermit:.......Prepare for Fright Night.

BACKSTAGE (Robert's Dressing Room):

Uncle Deadly: Robert, you must go on as Fredrick Krueger tonight. That's your signature character.

Gonzo (as a swamp monster): Who's Fredrick Krueger?

Uncle Deadly: -gasp- Shame on you! Not knowing the great Freddy Krueger!

Gonzo: Oh, so why didn't you tell me it was Freddy Krueger?

Uncle Deadly: I was being proper.

Robert: Guys, there are children watching this show. I don't think I wanna scare them.

Uncle Deadly: Who cares about the children?

Gonzo: Kermit does. He's on Sesame Street.

Uncle Deadly: Robert....Freddy Krueger is your character. Rebel and go on as him!

Robert: Well..........

Uncle Deadly: PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! WE DID A NUMBER TOGETHER!

Robert:.......Wait right there, I'll be right back. -goes into the closet to change-

Gonzo: Is he going to Narnia? 'Cause I don't think they allow weirdos in Narnia.

Uncle Deadly: And you're not?

-Robert comes back out as Freddy Krueger-

Uncle Deadly: YES! YES! THE MOMENT THIS SHOW HAS BEEN WAITING FOR! FREDDY KRUEGER! I bow down to you!

Robert: I wonder how Christopher Reeve would've felt if he had to dress up as Superman on this show?

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, in tribute to teen slasher movies we now present........

Floyd: Kermit, we're not doing this.

Kermit: But Floyd I've casted you and Janice in there for a reason.

Floyd: Yeah....to get our heads slashed off by Freddy Krueger. We're anklin'. Let's go baby. -walks off with Janice-

Kermit: But but guys! Now what? Who's gonna get their heads slashed off by our guest star?

Gonzo: Camilla and I will do it!

Kermit: Good. Now get in there. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, a tribute to teen slasher movies, featuring out guest star Robert Englund! YAAAAAY!!!!!!!

SKETCH: Gonzo and Camilla play a couple whom is threatened by Freddy Krueger. Gonzo and Camilla run for their lives, but Freddy "kills them." He then leads in a rendition of The Monster Mash, with Uncle Deadly, the ghosts, the zombie, and other monsters and creatures joining him.

GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Well, we sure had a happy fright of an evening.

Uncle Deadly: I'll say. It was Child's Play! Maybe next week, we can get.....

Kermit: No! We're not putting him on the show! We got Freddy Krueger, so be happy with that.

Uncle Deadly: Alright. It was just a suggestion.

Kermit: Unfortunately, all haunting and frightening must come to an end. But before we go, let us thank our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Robert Englund! Yaaaaay!

Robert: -comes out without the Freddy Krueger makeup on- Thank you so much, Kermit. Tonight was such a frighteningly wonderful experience.

Kermit: Well, I think tonight was frightening experience for all of us.

Uncle Deadly: Not for me, it was pleasant! May I have your autograph?

Robert: Sure. Do you have a piece of paper? -Uncle Deadly gives him a piece of paper and Robert shreds the paper with his Freddy Krueger hand-

Uncle Deadly: That's my kind of autograph!

Kermit: Okay then, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Uncle Deadly, Gonzo, the zombie, and the ghosts)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:
Waldorf: This show made me die inside tonight.

Statler: How bad?

Waldorf: As bad as we would if we died outside.

Both: Dohohohoho

END
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Well, how was my first outline? Pretty cool, since Halloween is around the corner (No, I do not watch Nightmare On Elm Street or any of those horror movies). I'm gonna probably do....10 outlines? How's that sound? Stay tuned for more outlines! :wink:
 

Twisted Tails

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My gosh, are these even around anymore? Cause I would LOVE to do my own Muppet Show outlines. So, I've decided to do a collection of my own Muppet Show outlines!! :halo: I've been reading some of the past outlines done by other forum members, and may I just say they are impressive! That's what influenced me to do my own outlines! So....without further ado, here's my first TMS outline!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GUEST STAR: Robert Englund (The guy who does Freddy Krueger. (Or used to do it))
STYLE: Season 5

COLD OPENING: Pops is attempting to carve a Jack-O-Lantern, when Robert enters with one hand behind his back.
Pops: Hey, who are you?

Robert: I'm Robert Englund. I'm supposed to be the guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.

Pops: Robert Englund, eh? The star of them flasher movies?

Robert: Flasher? No you mean "slasher" movies.

Pops: That's what I said. Hey, ya think you can help me carve this darn pumpkin.

Robert: Oh sure. -reveals the one hand behind his back as one his hands for Freddy Krueger-

Pops: Ahhhh! A knife hand has dissected your hand! -ducks behind the desk-

Robert: I guess this is what happens when you've been doing a slasher movie for so long.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo's trumpet howls like a ware wolf.
Gonzo: There's a full moon out tonight!

INTRODUCTION: Kermit comes onstage, dressed as a vampire.

Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho, and welcome again to The Muppet Show! May I now warn the audience that tonight's show will be a lot scarier than usual.

Waldorf: That's no surprise.

Statler: Yeah, the show always scares us.

Kermit: Oh but tonight will be especially scary. We are celebrating Halloween here at the Muppet Theater, along with our guest star, that great actor of horror films such as "A Nightmare On Elm Street:" Robert Englund!

Audience: Ooooooooh!

Kermit: Yes. But first, here are a group of Happy Haunts that are dying to perform this first number.

MUSICAL NUMBER: Grim Grinning Ghosts, performed by a group of ghosts while scaring a Whatnot grave keeper.

BALCONY:
Waldorf: Oh well didn't that last number make you grin?

Statler: No, it was so bad, I kept frowning the entire time.

Both: Dohohohoho!

Waldorf: Boo!

Statler: Boo!

BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Very good ghosts and ghouls and goblins and whatever.

Scooter (dressed as a Skeleton): But chief, there weren't any goblins in the last number.

Goblin: That's what you think.

Kermit: Okay, Scooter, who's on next?

Scooter: Ummmm, Sammy The Dancing and Juggling Skeleton.

Kermit: Okay, Sammy The Dancing and Juggling Skeleton onstage!

Uncle Deadly: Excuse me, Mr. Kermit sir.

Kermit: -turns to see Uncle Deadly and jumps- Ah! Oh, hello, Deadly. What's the matter?

Uncle Deadly: Well, I hear your guest star is a Mister...Robert Englund.

Kermit: Yes, it is.

Uncle Deadly: -gasp- My dream! Next to Vincent Price, this a dream come true! I must perform a number with him.

Kermit: Well, I don't know if he's much of a singer but.....

Robert: Hey, Kermit?

Kermit: Oh look it's our guest star, Robert Englund. Yay!!!!

Robert: Kermit, did anyone just ask if they wanted to do a musical number with me?

Uncle Deadly: -touching Robert's arm- Are you a devil from heck? Are you from England?

Robert: No, I'm from California.

Uncle Deadly: Oh, my deepest apologies, Mr. Englund, but I am HUGE fan of yours.

Robert: Really? This seems kind of awkward because usually people don't root for villains.

Uncle Deadly: I'm different. I LOVE villains! The Wicked Witch of The West, Cruella Deville, that dragon in Sleeping Beauty.....she was a fiery one.

Robert: How do you know?

Uncle Deadly: I've dated her.

VET'S HOSPITAL: (Zombie)

Announcer: And now, Veternarian's Hospital. The continuing stoooooorrrrrrry of a quack who's gone to the dogs.

Dr. Bob: Well, who's our patient today?

Nurse Piggy: He just came up from the graveyard.

Nurse Janice: Like, it's a zombie.

Dr. Bob: Well there's no use trying to cure him.

Nurse Janice: Why not?

Dr. Bob: He's already dead.

All three: Ahahahahaha

Announcer: And so we come to the end of another Veternarian's Hospital.

Dr. Bob: That was fast.

Announcer: Tune in next week when you'll hear The Zombie say........

Zombie: Uhhhhhhh...........

Nurse Piggy: Dr. Bob, it's alive!

Nurse Janice: What do we do?

Dr. Bob: What else? RUN!!!!

All three: AHHHHHH!!!!! -run offstage-

Zombie: What's the matter with them? Haven't they ever heard of "The Night of The Living Dead?"


BACKSTAGE:

Miss Piggy runs to Kermit, still terrified of the zombie from the last sketch.

Miss Piggy: Kermie, hide me! It might get me!

Kermit: Piggy, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just a harmless zombie.

Miss Piggy: -turns around and sees Robert, fully dressed as a fancy zombie- AAAAAHHHHHHHH! -runs upstairs towards her dressing room- I HATE HALLOWEEN! -slams dressing room door-

Robert: Okay, Kermit. Me and Deadly are ready for the number.

Kermit: Oh good, because you two are up next.

Uncle Deadly: Already? That was fast! Let us go and perform! -goes onstage with Robert-

Kermit: This is going to be one crazy night........geesh. -goes onstage to introduce the next number-

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to class up our Halloween show tonight is our own....creature, Uncle Deadly, and our very special guest star Mr. Robert Englund! YAAAAAY!!!!!!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Puttin' On The Ritz, performed by Uncle Deadly and Robert Englund as a zombie.

BALCONY:
Waldorf: I never knew Freddy Krueger could tap dance.

Statler: I never even thought a zombie could tap dance. Aren't they dead?

Zombie: Not me.

Waldorf and Statler: ZOMBIE! AHHHH!!!! -jump off the balcony-

NEWS FLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! "Witches have been popping up all over Even Eye County in Kansas, causing such mayhem as whipping up tornadoes, eating little children by luring them into candy houses, turning the governor into a frog, and offering poisonous apples to the citizens at the farmer's market. If anyone has any information about these witches, please call......"

Witch (disguised as an old hag): Excuse me, sir, but would you like an apple?

Newsman: Why certainly, old lady I've never seen before in my entire life. -eats apple and faints-

Witch: Ha ha. What a buffoon.

UK SKIT: Floyd sings Undercover Angel, with Janice as "his angel" along with The Female Singers as angels. (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Female_Singers)

UK BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Well done, Floyd. Well done.

Floyd: Thanks my froggy friend. -turns back to Janice- You I know I just can't help but say you look beautiful in that outfit.

Janice: Like, do you think I could be a Charlie's Angel with this on?

Floyd: With that on, you're my angel. If you were on the cover of Playboy with that on, I think Dorothy Stratten would be rolling in her grave right now. -kisses her cheek-

Janice: Fer sure. -the two exit-

Kermit: Oh, Scooter!

Scooter: Yeah, boss?

Kermit: Has Robert decided on what he's going to do for the last number yet?

Scooter: No, Gonzo and Uncle Deadly are talking about that with him right now.

Kermit: Oh.......did you say Gonzo?

Scooter: Yes.

Kermit:.......Prepare for Fright Night.

BACKSTAGE (Robert's Dressing Room):

Uncle Deadly: Robert, you must go on as Fredrick Krueger tonight. That's your signature character.

Gonzo (as a swamp monster): Who's Fredrick Krueger?

Uncle Deadly: -gasp- Shame on you! Not knowing the great Freddy Krueger!

Gonzo: Oh, so why didn't you tell me it was Freddy Krueger?

Uncle Deadly: I was being proper.

Robert: Guys, there are children watching this show. I don't think I wanna scare them.

Uncle Deadly: Who cares about the children?

Gonzo: Kermit does. He's on Sesame Street.

Uncle Deadly: Robert....Freddy Krueger is your character. Rebel and go on as him!

Robert: Well..........

Uncle Deadly: PLEASE! PLEASE! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN! WE DID A NUMBER TOGETHER!

Robert:.......Wait right there, I'll be right back. -goes into the closet to change-

Gonzo: Is he going to Narnia? 'Cause I don't think they allow weirdos in Narnia.

Uncle Deadly: And you're not?

-Robert comes back out as Freddy Krueger-

Uncle Deadly: YES! YES! THE MOMENT THIS SHOW HAS BEEN WAITING FOR! FREDDY KRUEGER! I bow down to you!

Robert: I wonder how Christopher Reeve would've felt if he had to dress up as Superman on this show?

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, in tribute to teen slasher movies we now present........

Floyd: Kermit, we're not doing this.

Kermit: But Floyd I've casted you and Janice in there for a reason.

Floyd: Yeah....to get our heads slashed off by Freddy Krueger. We're anklin'. Let's go baby. -walks off with Janice-

Kermit: But but guys! Now what? Who's gonna get their heads slashed off by our guest star?

Gonzo: Camilla and I will do it!

Kermit: Good. Now get in there. Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, a tribute to teen slasher movies, featuring out guest star Robert Englund! YAAAAAY!!!!!!!

SKETCH: Gonzo and Camilla play a couple whom is threatened by Freddy Krueger. Gonzo and Camilla run for their lives, but Freddy "kills them." He then leads in a rendition of The Monster Mash, with Uncle Deadly, the ghosts, the zombie, and other monsters and creatures joining him.

GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Well, we sure had a happy fright of an evening.

Uncle Deadly: I'll say. It was Child's Play! Maybe next week, we can get.....

Kermit: No! We're not putting him on the show! We got Freddy Krueger, so be happy with that.

Uncle Deadly: Alright. It was just a suggestion.

Kermit: Unfortunately, all haunting and frightening must come to an end. But before we go, let us thank our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Robert Englund! Yaaaaay!

Robert: -comes out without the Freddy Krueger makeup on- Thank you so much, Kermit. Tonight was such a frighteningly wonderful experience.

Kermit: Well, I think tonight was frightening experience for all of us.

Uncle Deadly: Not for me, it was pleasant! May I have your autograph?

Robert: Sure. Do you have a piece of paper? -Uncle Deadly gives him a piece of paper and Robert shreds the paper with his Freddy Krueger hand-

Uncle Deadly: That's my kind of autograph!

Kermit: Okay then, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Uncle Deadly, Gonzo, the zombie, and the ghosts)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:
Waldorf: This show made me die inside tonight.

Statler: How bad?

Waldorf: As bad as we would if we died outside.

Both: Dohohohoho

END
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, how was my first outline? Pretty cool, since Halloween is around the corner (No, I do not watch Nightmare On Elm Street or any of those horror movies). I'm gonna probably do....10 outlines? How's that sound? Stay tuned for more outlines! :wink:
Ooooh! That was frightening and I LOVED it. The terrible truth is I did see the Nightmare on Elm Street movie (the orignal 1980s one) back in high school. This is AMAZING!
 

MissMusical12

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Ooooh! That was frightening and I LOVED it. The terrible truth is I did see the Nightmare on Elm Street movie (the orignal 1980s one) back in high school. This is AMAZING!
I have no desire to see horror movies. They scare me! :eek:
 

MissMusical12

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GUEST STAR: John Astin (Best known as Gomez Addams in The Addams Family TV-series)
STYLE: Mid Season 4 (Between Phyllis George and Lynda Carter)

COLD OPENING:
Scooter: John Astin. Oh, John Astin! 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Astin.

John: -doing yoga- Thank you, Scooter. Just stretching out before the show starts.

Scooter: Oh you don't need to do that. That's what Timmy's here for.

John: Timmy? Who's Timmy?

Timmy: Here I am! (http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Timmy_Monster)

John: If he teaches yoga, I'd hate to see who teaches aerobics around here.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Gonzo's trumpet sounds like the doorbell to The Addams Family mansion.

INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show! Our guest star tonight is that talented actor of movies and television, John Astin. And.....

Gonzo: Kermit! Kermit!

Kermit: Yes, Gonzo?

Gonzo: Did you say tonight's guest star was John Astin?

Kermit: Yes, I did.

Gonzo: Terrific! He'd be perfect for my latest stunt.

Kermit: What do you mean?

Gonzo: He knows yoga! And he can stand on his head.

Kermit: But that's only acting. He only does it when he's Gomez Addams.

Gonzo: Kermit, I don't even care if his character's name was Bruno, I just NEED him for my latest stunt.

Kermit: Will you get off the stage!!! -Gonzo exits- Anyhow, let's get this show started with an unexpected walk in the woods.

MUSICAL NUMBER: The Jitterbug (that cut song from The Wizard of Oz), performed by a female whatnot and a group of trees.

BALCONY:
Statler: Yeesh, if that's how they do the Jitterbug, I'd hate to see how they do the polka.

Waldorf: You've done the polka?

Statler: Yeah...with James K. Polk.

Both: Dohohohoho!

BACKSTAGE:

Kermit: Okay, nice number, nice number.

Miss Piggy: Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!

Kermit: Yes, Miss Piggy?

Miss Piggy: I'm afraid to tell you that moi will not being doing her musical number tonight.

Kermit: Oh....why not?

Miss Piggy: Because moi wants to perform a number with that darling John Astin.

Kermit: Yeesh, everyone wants him tonight.

Miss Piggy: Oh, but Kermie, this is different. Moi wants to be his..........Morticia.

Kermit: -gulp- Well, Piggy, I.....I....don't know if you fit Morticia.

Miss Piggy: What do you mean?

Kermit: Well....you just don't look like a Morticia.......

Miss Piggy: WHAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M UGLY!!?!?!?

Kermit: No, I never said......

Miss Piggy: HIYA! -karate chops Kermit onto the stage-

INTRODUCTION:

Fozzie: Kermit! Kermit! Are you okay?

Kermit: Yeah, I'm fine, Fozzie.....Fozzie!?!?!?

Fozzie: Hi.

Kermit: What are you doing here?

Fozzie: Introducing John Astin.

Kermit: Fozzie that's my job!

Scooter: No, actually it's my job.

Kermit: Ugh....GET OFF! Get off the stage! Ahem, ladies and gentlemen, here is the wonderful John Astin in our Muppet adaptation of Frank R. Stockton's "The Lady or The Tiger?"

SKETCH: John Astin stars as the "semi semi barbaric" king in "The Lady or The Tiger?" with Annie Sue as the princess, his daughter, and Link Hogthrob as her lover. Unfortunately, Link picks the door containing the tiger and is mauled by it.

BALCONY:
Statler: Well, that tiger really mauled him.

Waldorf: Mauled him? He made bacon out of him!

Both: Dohohohoho

PIGS IN SPACE: Link is not present, but the tiger whom mauled him is. Miss Piggy suggests that the tiger should be captain. The tiger then spits out Link near the end, saying "He's not my kind of pork chop."

UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: Marvin Suggs performs "Ode To Joy" on the Muppaphones.

BACKSTAGE: John is in his dressing room, when someone knocks on the door.

John: Come in.

Miss Piggy: -enters- Bonjour, Johnathan.

John: Oh, hello, Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy: Moi has been doing a lot of thinking this evening and figured, vous and moi need to talk.

John: About what?

Miss Piggy: Love, mon cher. Mon capitan. Amour.

John: Ummm....well, I don't know what to say......

Miss Piggy: Let's make it easier. -leaves, but comes back dressed up as Morticia- My Gomez! Mon cher!

John: Ahhh, cara mia.

Miss Piggy: Eat your heart out, Carolyn Jones.

MUSICAL NUMBER: John and Miss Piggy sing C'est Magnifique (from Can-Can)

MUPPET LABS: Bunsen tries out a ray that makes communication for those who don't speak English easier. Also so he could know what Beaker is saying. But it keeps turning Beaker's voice into languages other than English (including sounding like The Swedish Chef)

NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! "A world record has just been broken today. The world record for breaking the world's oldest record! The oldest record, which is........how long someone can last with a 500 pound rock over their backs." -Giant rock falls on The Newsman-

BACKSTAGE:
Fozzie: Oh hey, Kermit! I got this great new joke....you wanna hear it?

Kermit: I've got time. I guess....

Fozzie: Ok....what happens when a butler gets left behind on a family trip? He's left in the Lurch! Ahhhh. Wocka wocka.

John: Ha, very funny Fozzie. And speaking of Lurch.....-pulls gong alarm for Lurch (*Watch The Addams Family series and you'll understand)-

Sweetums: -impersonating Ted Cassidy's Lurch- You rang?

John: Yes, Sweetums. Would you mind giving this letter to Miss Piggy? I promise I'd meet her for dinner after the show.

Kermit: Huh?

Sweetums: Yes, Mr. Astin. -back in character- Hey, am I doing a good job being your own personal Lurch?

John: Yes, you are, Sweetums.

Sweetums: Alright! -leaves-

Kermit: Well, John, it's almost time for your big closing number.

John: Already? Wow, time flies when you're having fun.

Fozzie: -pretends his watch is an airplane and flies it around- Hey, you wanna see pigs fly?

John: Not today. -goes onstage to get ready for his closing number-

INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Okay, here now to sing tonight's big finale is our wonderful guest star, John Astin, as he becomes hit with Love Potion Number 9.

MUSICAL NUMBER: John sings Love Potion Number 9, backed up by The Electric Mayhem. Miss Piggy joins him onstage later on, still in her Morticia outfit.

GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Well folks, it's now sadly time to end another magnificent evening. But before we go, let us say thank you to our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. John Astin. YAAAAAAAAYY!!!

John: Thank you so much, Kermit. This evening has been wonderful.

Miss Piggy: Oooh, Johnathan, how we must part ways after this evening.

John: Wait, what about dinner?

Miss Piggy: I can't. My heart, my querido is, and belongs to.....Kermie. Oh Kermie, my querido!

Kermit: What's a querido?

John: Cara mia, Piggy.

Miss Piggy: Au revoir, mon cher.

John: Piggy, you spoke French! -kisses Miss Piggy's arm-

Miss Piggy: Oh! You flirt!

Kermit: Ummmm, this is getting awkward, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Annie Sue, Gonzo and Link Hogthrob)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:


Waldorf: -pulls gong alarm, but no one comes-

Statler: We need our own Lurch.

Waldorf: I don't think we need one. We've already been left in it.

Both: Dohohohoho

END
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Ahahaha, this was a fun one to do. I especially love the interaction I put in between John and Miss Piggy. More outlines soon to come! :wink:
 

Twisted Tails

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This is rully nice! There was a part I thought was classic and you nailled it such as:
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Okay, nice number, nice number.

Miss Piggy: Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!

Kermit: Yes, Miss Piggy?

Miss Piggy: I'm afraid to tell you that moi will not being doing her musical number tonight.

Kermit: Oh....why not?

Miss Piggy: Because moi wants to perform a number with that darling John Astin.

Kermit: Yeesh, everyone wants him tonight.

Miss Piggy: Oh, but Kermie, this is different. Moi wants to be his..........Morticia.

Kermit: -gulp- Well, Piggy, I.....I....don't know if you fit Morticia.

Miss Piggy: What do you mean?

Kermit: Well....you just don't look like a Morticia.......

Miss Piggy: WHAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M UGLY!!?!?!?

Kermit: No, I never said......

Miss Piggy: HIYA! -karate chops Kermit onto the stage-

That was like not only hilarious, but it was rully awesome too.

Overall, I heard the Jitterbug song before, the C'est Manifique song fits perfectly for John and Miss Piggy, and oooooh I thought the closing number was cool and hip.

So, this is great! Keep going!
 

MissMusical12

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This is rully nice! There was a part I thought was classic and you nailled it such as:
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Okay, nice number, nice number.

Miss Piggy: Kermie, Kermie, Kermie, Kermie!

Kermit: Yes, Miss Piggy?

Miss Piggy: I'm afraid to tell you that moi will not being doing her musical number tonight.

Kermit: Oh....why not?

Miss Piggy: Because moi wants to perform a number with that darling John Astin.

Kermit: Yeesh, everyone wants him tonight.

Miss Piggy: Oh, but Kermie, this is different. Moi wants to be his..........Morticia.

Kermit: -gulp- Well, Piggy, I.....I....don't know if you fit Morticia.

Miss Piggy: What do you mean?

Kermit: Well....you just don't look like a Morticia.......

Miss Piggy: WHAT! ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY I'M UGLY!!?!?!?

Kermit: No, I never said......

Miss Piggy: HIYA! -karate chops Kermit onto the stage-

That was like not only hilarious, but it was rully awesome too.

Overall, I heard the Jitterbug song before, the C'est Manifique song fits perfectly for John and Miss Piggy, and oooooh I thought the closing number was cool and hip.

So, this is great! Keep going!
Thank you! :flirt:
 

MissMusical12

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GUEST STAR: Carole King
STYLE: Late Season 4

COLD OPENING:

Scooter: Carole King! Carole King! 20 seconds til curtain, Carole.

Carole: -surrounded by birds- Scooter, I have a question. What is it with these birds tonight on the show?

Scooter: Oh well, the birds decided to come and watch you tonight.

Carole: Ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer. I guess that's how it works on this show.

THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Birds come flying out of Gonzo's trumpet.

INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, and welcome again to The Muppet Show. Quoted by reviewers as "The Happiest Show On Earth."

Statler: Well if you're the happiest show on Earth, what does that make Disneyland?

Waldorf: The saddest.

Both: Dohohohoho

Kermit: Oh brother....anyways our guest star is that talented lady of song, Carole King. And joining her tonight is the birds of "The Upperland Bird Shelter," for those birds that are in need of a home.

Sam Eagle: -from offstage- Humph

Kermit: But first, let us pay tribute to birds in this first number, performed by our very own Miss Piggy. Yaaaay!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Sing Sweet Nightingale (from Cinderella), performed by Miss Piggy, accompanied by Rowlf and a group of birds (but none of them is a Nightingale).

BALCONY:
Statler: Why sing about a nightingale when none of the birds onstage WAS a nightingale?

Waldorf: I don't know. Maybe the nightingale called it quits.

Both: Dohohohoho.

BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Excellent job, excellent job.

Miss Piggy: But Kermie, I was singing about a nightingale....when none of the birds onstage was a nightingale. Where was it?

Kermit: The nightingale wasn't on?

Miss Piggy: I bet it Bo had something to do with this! BEAUREGARD! -leaves-

Kermit: Or maybe the nightingale flew South.

Janice: -carrying a covered bird cage and sets it down on the table- Oooh, like that was tough.

Kermit: Janice, what's with the bird cage?

Janice: Oh, like it's a present for Floyd.

Kermit: Janice, it's not his birthday.

Janice: No but it's our 2 and 1/2 year dating anniversary.

Kermit: Oh.......

Janice: Oh Floyd!

Floyd: Yeah, babe.

Janice: Like I got a present for you.

Floyd: Oh babe, you didn't have to.........-notices covered bird cage- Is that a bird cage?

Janice: Yeah, but like what's inside the bird cage is the present.

Floyd: -uncovers bird cage and reveals a nightingale inside- Awww, it's a nightingale.

Miss Piggy: -overhearing- Now we find a nightingale!

Kermit: Yikes! Speaking of nightingales, I have to introduce our guest star! -goes onstage-

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, our love for nightingales continue with a number by our wonderful guest star, Miss Carole King! YAAAAAAAY!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Carole sings Nightingale, with a park setting. She too is surrounded by birds in the song (Nightingale is still not in number).

BALCONY:
Statler: What is it with these numbers about nightingales and none of the birds onstage are nightingales?

Waldorf: It's a nightingale. It hates daytime.

Both: Dohohohoho.

SWEDISH CHEF: Swedish Chef tries to make chicken pot pie, thinking that he has to hit the chicken with the pot to make the pie.

UK SKETCH: NEWS FLASH:

Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash! "Rumors have been spreading that the common Swallwop Bird, a blood sucking nocturnal bird, is starting to become extinct. In total in this world right now are only 200 Swallwop Birds in existence. They are usually found in areas where there's no light whatsoever and immediately suck the blood from their victims." -lights go out and a Swallwop bird attacks The Newsman-

BACKSTAGE:
Floyd: -petting nightingale- Who's a good little nightingale? You are, you are, little one.

Animal: Ahhhh....walk?

Floyd: Not now, Animal. -goes off with nightingale-

Animal: Uhhhh....no walk. No Floyd. Stupid nightingale.....need friend! Need friend! -bangs head against wall-

Carole: -noticing Animal upset- Hey, Animal. What's the matter?

Animal: Neglection. It reeks.

Carole: You mean you're jealous of Floyd and his new nightingale?

Animal: -starts to cry and hugs Carole- I MISS FLOYD!!!

Carole: Oh, Animal. You gotta stay strong. One day, that nightingale will fly away into the night, and then you'll be Floyd's friend again.

Animal: But...I don't like waiting.

Carole: Well sometimes, waiting is the best thing to do.

MUSICAL NUMBER: Carole sings Someone's Waiting For You (from The Rescuers) to the heartbroken Animal.

PIGS IN SPACE: The Swinetrek is infested with birds and bird seed. Miss Piggy says "Thank goodness Big Bird isn't here, or we'd all be dead." An imitation Big Bird does come in, though.

BACKSTAGE: Animal notices that Floyd is nowhere in sight, but Floyd has left the nightingale alone.

Animal: No Floyd....-goes over to nightingale and takes it out of its cage- Okay, bye bye friend stealer. -eats the nightingale- Mmmmm....delicious.

Floyd: -from offscreen- Animal!

Animal: -hiccup- Ha?

Floyd: -from offscreen- Come on! We've got our big number with Carole King to do!

Animal: Coming! -knocks down bird cage and goes onto the stage-

INTRODUCTION:

Kermit: Well, folks, it's time we do a number that's NOT for the birds for once.

Waldorf: Good!

Statler: 'Cause we're sick and tired of these nightingale songs with no nightingales!

Kermit: Anyhow, here to perform our closing number for tonight is our wonderful guest star, Carole King! YAAAAAAAY!!!

MUSICAL NUMBER: Carole performs Jazzman, backed up by The Electric Mayhem and The Girl Singers. Zoot gets a saxophone solo.

GOODNIGHTS:

Kermit: Well folks, tonight's show definitely belonged to the birds, but it's now time to set the birds of tonight's show free.

Floyd: And speaking of birds...SOMEONE swiped my nightingale.

Animal: -burps and bird feather comes out- Sorry. Me was hungry.....

Floyd: Oh Animal, what I'd be without you.

Animal: Ahahahaha.

Kermit: Before we go, let us say thank you to our wonderful guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Carole King! Yaaaaaaay!

Carole: -comes out, with a few of the birds on her shoulders- Thank you, Kermit. Do you mind if I keep one of the birds? I think they all like me.

Kermit: Well maybe 'cause you're a chick magnet.

Floyd: Just don't take the nightingale, though. Animal might eat it.

Animal: Nightingale tasty.

Kermit: Alright, we'll see you again next time on The Muppet Show!

(Goodnights: Kermit, Floyd, Animal, Zoot, Janice, Miss Piggy and a few of the birds)

CLOSING THEME

BALCONY:

Waldorf: You think we can join the birds flying south?

Statler: Anywhere away from here is what makes me happy!

Both: Dohohohoho!

END
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Ehh....this one wasn't as strong, I'll admit. But it was still fun to write. More outlines coming soon!:wink:
 
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