Let's see how many replies we can get to this post!

[tutter_fan]

: Kermit, I am still not pleased with the content of this thread. These comments remain as unintelligible, lowbrow, and vulgar as ever.
: Gosh Sam, I'm awfully sorry to hear that. I'll do the best I can to sort things out and to make it a bit more wholesome.
: Thank you, I appreciate that. We cannot have any more of these scatterbrained WEIRDOS writing these FISHY posts! Not on my watch!
[Gonzo & Lew Zealand enter]
: Did somebody mention me just now?
: Hello, Mr. the Eagle and Mr. the Frog! Oh, and hello Mr. the Great! I heard the word "fishy" and came running as fast as I could! Heehee!
(frustrated): UGH. Once again, I find myself questioning the integrity of the people running this forum! [exits in disgust]
: What's with him?
: Was it something we said, Kermit?
: Well guys, you just can't please everybody around here, y'know.
: Tell me about it! I've tried reciting the Gettysburg Address while riding a unicycle across a tightrope suspended above a fifty-gallon vat of applesauce and the audience booed me ALL THREE TIMES!

Dedicated to @Blue Frackle who really dug the first Muppet-themed snippet I wrote on this thread many months ago.
People, if you want more of these tidbits I can churn them out as long as people keep providing good content on this thread. Lemme know! They're short and sweet, and take only 15-20 minutes to write.

Oh my gosh!!! I'm laughing so hard from this!!!!

I mean seriously!!!!! This is hilarious!!!!!

 

[cjd874]

@tutter_fan If you want it, you got it! A longer script post...or should I say post-script? Hope you guys enjoy this one.

[Kermit sits at his desk in the Muppet Theatre and acknowledges the viewer/reader]
: Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here. I've been scrolling through this thread and I would like to take this moment to share my thoughts on the posts that I've read. They are quite enjoyable, and I read them often. You are all pretty hip to the latest trends, and---
[Floyd Pepper struts up to Kermit]
: Hey Kermit, my funky frog-a-licious friend. D'you wanna hear the new song that me and the band have been shedding? It's a most delectable smorgasbord of jazz fusion, Brazilian funk, and hard bop.
: Hard bop?
: Yeah, that's what Miles and Dizzy were known for jammin' on. Coincidentally, it's also what happened when Animal hit his head on the drums and knocked himself out. [they both chuckle]
: In a minute, Floyd. I'll come over in a minute.
: Music to my ears, baby! Catch you on the flip side...or should I say, the FLIPPERED side!
[he laughs and struts off]
: As I was saying, I really like the comments on this thread. Some of them really make me laugh like a fool.
[Fozzie enters in suspenders and Groucho glasses]
: Hi Kermit. Can you watch these props for me? I gotta use the little bear's room before my act.
[he dumps a feather boa, a trick flower, a rubber chicken, and a bulb horn next to Kermit]
: Fozzie! Are you really using all of this stuff for your act?
: Yessir! Mark my words, Kermit: I'm gonna knock their socks off tonight, just you watch! [holds up a pair of argyle socks and laughs] Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! [exits]
: Sheesh...looks like he's really going for broke. Makes sense, considering his jokes are so cheap. Anyways, other comments are much more serious and heavy---
[Beauregard enters holding a heavy bag in his hands]
: Kermit! Where do you want this 50-pound bag of cement?
: Not now, Beauregard. I'm busy.
: But Kermit, it's really heavy! Please tell me where to put it! I've been carrying it for fifteen minutes!
: Just drop it, okay?
[Beau drops the bag on Kermit's foot and Kermit screams in pain]
: OWWWW! GET OUT, BEAU! OUT! OUT! [Beau runs off and Kermit calms down slightly] Mmmph...uh, where was I? Oh yes. Some comments are heavy, but I've seen a lot of kind comments, too. It amazes me how you take time out of your day to share cool stories, videos, and uplifting words. They really fill my bucket. And... [a dripping sound is heard] Oh no... [Kermit looks up and water drips onto his desk]
: Hey boss, looks like the roof is leaking again. Want me to get a bucket?
: You got it, Scooter. [Scooter leaves and shortly returns with a bucket to collect the water] In short, thank you for continuing to post on this thread. Keep it coming at a nice, steady flow. Thanks for your time---
[The dripping becomes steadier until a stream of water is pouring down from the ceiling. Chaos ensues as the Muppets scramble to contain the water with their assorted vessels.]

 

[fuzzygobo]

You might think my hat is funny, but I don’t.
I’m The Grand Wazoo
Keeper of the mystic scrolls
And rolls of parchment from the lodge.
And I’m a veteran.
Every day on coffee break at the hardware store
I tell Fred
What to expect because
We play pranks during the initiation.

I’m the Grand Wazoo
From the hardware store
£¥€# you if you don’t like my hat!

Frank Zappa
the Grand Wazoo
1973

 

[fuzzygobo]

What’s the ugliest part of your body?
What’s the ugliest part of your body?
Some say your nose.
Some say your toes.

But I think it’s your mind.

Frank Zappa
From the album “We’re Only In It For the Money”

 

[LittleJerry92]

Cock

 

[fuzzygobo]

There will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing and dance and love

There will come a time when every evil that we know will be an evil that we can rise above

Who cares if your hair is long or short or partly grey
You know, that hair ain’t where it’s at.

There will come a time when you won’t even be ashamed if you are fat.
Wah wah was wah!

There will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing and dance and love.

There will come a time when every evil that we know will be an evil that we can rise above

Who cares if you’re so poor you can’t afford to buy a pair of modern go-go stretch elastic pants.

There will come a time when you can even take your clothes off when you dance

Frank Zappa
Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance

 

[LittleJerry92]

Can Putting a Frog in Milk Keep It Fresh?

Modern science may have an answer to this Russian folk belief.

www.google.com

Frog milk

@Froggy Fool

 

[gravy]

what the hеll is a fresh frog

 

[Froggy Fool]

Can Putting a Frog in Milk Keep It Fresh?

Modern science may have an answer to this Russian folk belief.

www.google.com

Frog milk

@Froggy Fool

... why

 

[LittleJerry92]

After watching episode 14 of Sesame Street (mention of if a frog gives milk in a matching game. Frog milk).