Special thanks to http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/jbc/home/chef.html
CHAPTER THREE
Jareth walked into the dank goblin kitchen. The sounds of pots and pans clanging together alerted his attention to a small corner of the kitchen.
Chickens flew in a large flock up to the ceiling, smacked against it, and fell again to the floor in a panic. A white chef’s hat bobbed into view. Jareth hesitated to get closer. Goblin cooks were notorious for causing explosions with the most mundane of ingredients, even water.
“I hefe-a zee shueleces in zee speghettee leeke-a yuoo oordered, boot zee speeders reffoose-a tu gu in!” announced the chef angrily from behind.
Jareth cocked an eyebrow. Huh? Even goblins without mouths made more sense. “Pardon?” he asked tersely.
The chef sighed, standing, revealing himself to be a Caucasian humanoid Muppet with a brown mustache that curled up slightly. “I seid, zee speeders reffoose-a tu gu in zee speghettee. Ell I cuoold feend ves a hundffool ooff ledyboogs.” He impatiently tapped a large wooden spoon on a deep black cauldron in front of him.
Jareth mentally tried to work out what was just said. He nodded finally. “I’m quite certain the substitution will suffice. Carry on.”
The strange chef, most likely invited to the ball, nodded and sang to himself.
Jareth turned and exited the kitchen, sticking his tongue out in disgust.
<><><><><><>
Kelly walked into the game room of the basement level of the Dorms and watched as various people were trying on some costumes for the ball, since naturally Jareth could only give masquerade balls, right?
Digit was dressed in a dark brown three piece suit, with a black tie. He held a brown fedora in his hands. He smiled gently at the smaller brunette girl next to him, dressed in a frilly white dress with black and white striped bows on the left shoulder and knee. She had a much too large broad-rimmed hat with a black exterior and a white interior. She held a small white lacey umbrella in her hand daintily.
Digit nodded. “You look quite ravishing, Vicki.” He chuckled. “Eliza Doolittle would be quite proud.”
Vicki giggled. “And you’re absolutely a doll, Mr. Henry Higgins,” she replied playfully.
Digit blushed. “Well, you’re my fair lady.”
Kelly felt like she was going to puke all over the game room floor. She spotted Rowlf sitting next to a large grand piano over in the corner. She walked up to him and noticed he had a shaggy gray mustache on and thick brown eyebrows. “Ummmm….”
Rowlf suddenly became self-conscious, patting his mustache to see if it was still on right. “I’m goin’ as Sprocket. Do you think it’s a good likeness?”
Kelly nodded slowly and backed away somewhat more quickly.
<><><><><><>
Cotterpin giggled as Waldo blew bubbles at her, her thick red shoulder-length hair soon sticky from the soapy suds. She playfully pushed him away. “Stop it.”
Waldo chuckled. “I’ll stop it when you stop it.”
Cotterpin laughed. “No, I’ll stop when you stop.”
<><><><><><>
Lips, a shaggy blond-haired trumpeter, accompanied Zoot, the blue-haired saxophone player, as the latter wailed on and on about how antibacterial soap only gets 99.9% of bacteria, which just means the strongest survive to make you even sicker.
<><><><><><>
Animal sat on top of the billiard table, thrashing at some drums that he had put there. His wild red hair covered nearly his entire face, his fangs glistening in the light. “Bang, bang, bang!” he shouted angrily.
Kelly casually walked up to Animal, noting with a slight hint of amusement that his heavy metal chain had been gnawed through completely. “What’s up?”
Animal stopped drumming nearly long enough to respond. “Bored!”
Kelly smiled. “You and your roomies can come with us to a summer bash at the Labyrinth. It’s gonna be awesome!”
Animal leapt up into the air and crashed on top of Kelly, pinning her to the floor. He was grinning as widely as he could. “Party, party, party party -- 80’s music rocks!”
Kelly laughed and struggled to push him off. “Of course it does.”
Animal leapt off her and panted, suddenly out of steam. “It only forever,” he began. “Not long all. Lost and lonely.” He started to re-energize. “Underground! Underground!”
<><><><><>
Ed, Count von Count, and Uncle Deadly stepped into the game room to work on their lists of characters. Usually, no one was in the game room. In fact, most residents tended to forget it even existed. That provided the perfect opportunity to get some quiet time for the dorm manager and his roomies.
So, naturally, it was filled to the brim with people and as loud as an airport.
They sighed.
Count von Count, a short squat little purple vampire with a slick black suit and a purple cape, glanced around. He smiled, showing his upper fangs. “So many happy romantic pairs to count!” he exclaimed cheerfully. Then, he started the process of counting all the romantic liaisons just in that room alone (and I haven’t even listed them all).
<><><><><><>
Up in the lobby, Dr. Teeth jammed next to a huge boom box, torn out of some poor schmuck’s car (legally, I’m sure), which seemed strange because it was rather large and it would be difficult to even get that into even a Hummer.
A tall male pig with a tuft of blond hair, all dressed up in a cop costume, burst into the lobby. His voice was deep, and, dare I say it, kinda dumb. “Unhand that boom box!” he barked.
Dr. Teeth stopped dancing and twirled his bling in his fingers. “Back off, Link Porkchop,” he retorted in a raspy voice.
Link nodded and slapped some handcuffs on Dr. Teeth. “That’ll be enough, so called Music Man,” he told Dr. Teeth calmly. “For insulting pigs, you are hereby being arrested for hate crimes unbecoming of fine, upstanding citizens.”
“Man, lemme go,” Dr. Teeth grumbled. “I ain’t done nuthin’! Unlock these handcuffs ‘fore I open a can of whoop-.”
Link jerked him hard so that his prisoner would shut up. “I can’t. I lost the key to the handcuffs months ago.”
“Then how didja open ‘em ta put me in ‘em, Sausage Snout?” Dr. Teeth growled angrily. He paused when the doors opened from the hallway. A rather tall Skeksis stood there with an evil smirk. He took out a long, spindley, wrinkly index finger and twirled a small keyring on it. Suddenly, before Dr. Teeth could say anything, the dark lizard/bird-like creature flipped up the keyring, watching it go high in the air, and swallowed it as it came back down.
“MMMMmmmmmm,” noted Chamberlain satisfyingly. “That was especially delicious.” He turned and cackled all the way back to his room.
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