Inside the Muppet Studio

[theprawncracker]

*skiddly bump bump* *runs away*

 

[theprawncracker]

Seeing the World Through Scooter’s Glasses

No one ever doubts the power of a good peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a tall, cold glass of milk to make a day a little bit better.

That’s just what I was enjoying a munch of as I climbed up the boarding house stairs to my room--dubbed “the mainframe” within the past year. This was because, of course, it had become the main uploading station for our recent web videos.

Sure, you’d think that there would be a computer with enough technology advances to upload videos onto the internet at our big, fancy new Muppet Studios that Disney bought for us--well… I would think that too.

Kermit and Bob Iger (really a nice guy, despite the scary last name) claimed budget cuts and hired me to put the videos up via my laptop back at the boarding house. Actually, hired is a term used very loosely here, because I believe it means “asked to perform a service with the promise of pay; be it monetary or livestock.” But I don’t get either--unless you count the all-chicken “Clucketeers” led by Gonzo whose main focus is performing TV show theme songs a’cluckpella.

But despite all this I don’t really mind helping out--at least I know I’m contributing somewhat! Frog knows I’m not getting any action onstage--er… monitor! But, again, I don’t really mind. They say the webcam makes it look like you’ve taken more mega-bites than you really have.

As I sat my sandwich plate on my desk and flipped open my laptop I recalled all the terrific unorganized madness we had backstage in the old days. All the responsibilities, all the different people and things to keep track of--all the guest stars! I was never scarce back then always on hand when someone needed… a hand!

I typed in my password to grant me access to my Mac (no, I’m not a PC--no matter how much Clifford says I look like that guy in the commercials!). We didn’t even have computers back in those days--wow, how the time flies… seems like just yesterday that--

“Scooter! Scooter!” called the all-too-familiar voice of Fozzie Bear as he ran into my room.

Trying not to seem put-off by this entrance (I was more than used to it by now) I swirled around in my computer chair and smiled. “Hiya, Foz! What’s up?” I asked cheerfully.

“The ceiling! Ahhh!” Fozzie joked.

“Ya know,” I said to the bear, “you don’t have to say that every time someone asks ‘What’s up?’”

Fozzie looked confused. “Oh,” he said with a blank stare. “Well Rizzo and Pepe told me I did!”

I sighed, “Go figure. Did ya need something, Fozzie?” I asked.

“No, not really,” Fozzie said, now approaching my computer as I turned back around and accessed the internet. “I was just seeing what you were up to.”

“Oh, not much,” I said, typing in the domain name. “Just getting ready to upload a new video to the site.”

“Ooh!” Fozzie said with earnest interest. “Am I in it?”

“I’m not sure, I haven’t seen it yet,” I told him. “Have you shot any new clips lately?”

“Of course not!” Fozzie shouted, sounding completely disturbed by what I’d just said. “I would never shoot anyone! Especially not a clip!”

I turned around and stared at the bear. “You’re joking, right?” I asked.

“Sure! Don’t you know who I am? Furry, fuzzy, funny man, remember?” Fozzie asked, wiggling his ears.

“Right, right,” I said. “But didn’t the doctor tell you to stop wiggling your ears way back in the 1970’s?”

“Yeah… but he said it wouldn’t break my funny-bone--so it’s a’okay!” Fozzie said with a smile.

I frowned. “Fozzie… that was terrible!”

Fozzie took his hat off and covered his eyes. “Was it really that bad? I was getting it set up the whole way in here!”

“Really?” I asked.

“No, not really!” Fozzie said, putting his hat back on. “I was joking again! I do that, remember?”

“How could I forget?” I said with smile. I typed and clicked my way “backstage” of Muppets.com. My home away from home while I’m at home. I reached my hand into the pocket of my old jacket and pulled out my flash drive and stuck it in my laptop.

“Is that a new flash drive?” Fozzie asked.

“Did somebody say FLASH?” someone shrieked from within my closet.

Instinctively, I grabbed my laptop and turned away from the closet as it exploded from within. Fozzie ducked somewhere behind me.

I turned back around and glared in the direction of the closet as Crazy Harry sidled out carrying a dynamite plunger (as always). “Hey!” I shouted at him. “Get back here, Harry!”

Fozzie stood up and dusted off his hat and tie and began to dust me off. I shoved his hand off as I stood up and walked towards the bearded menace. “Do you really think it’s a good idea to blow things up in this day and age?” I asked Crazy Harry.

Crazy Harry stared at me like I was… crazy. He looked down at his dynamite plunger and then back up at me. “Yes?” he said blankly.

Not surprised by the answer, I persevered. “Well it’s not!” I shouted. “You know people are more and more afraid of bomb scares nowadays--and quite frankly, you look like someone who would blow something up! Is that really how you want to be viewed?”

This time Crazy Harry stroked his beard with a free hand and looked down at his ratty green jacket. “Yes?” he said in the exact same tone as before.

“That’s what I--wait, what?” I asked, confused. “You… want people to think you’re going to blow them up?”

Crazy Harry shrugged. “Most people think I’m a blast!” he said as he left my room, cackling the entire way.

I sighed again and turned back to Fozzie, who was carefully holding my laptop. “Thanks Foz,” I said as I grabbed it back from him. “You’d think we’d learn about saying things like that in this house!”

Fozzie shrugged as I sat my laptop back on my desk. “I think ‘flash’ is a new one for him.”

Ready to despise myself for what I was about to say, I smirked and turned to Fozzie. “He must’ve had a flash of inspiration,” I said.

Fozzie stared at me. “I don’t get it,” he said.

“What?” I asked, completely shocked that Fozzie Bear, the world’s greatest stand-up bear comedian didn’t get my joke. But, then again, I was talking to Fozzie Bear, the world’s greatest stand-up bear comedian.

Fozzie slapped me on the back--harder than I expected. “Ahh! I’m kidding, Scooter! C’mon! I’ve been doing that this whole time!” he said.

“Fozzie!” I scolded the bear. “Ya know… you’re funnier when you’re pretending not to be.”

“And I’ll take that as a compliment!” Fozzie said with his huge grin.

As I opened up the flash drive to access the videos, I heard the splat of damp feet upon our wood floor in the hallway. There was only one person that could possibly be--

“Scooter!” Boss called from the hallway. “Hey, Scooter,” he said as he poked his green head in my room. “Lyelle just called and asked why the new videos weren’t up yet. So… why aren’t the new videos up yet?” the frog asked me.

“They’re coming!” I told Chief. “I’ve been… distracted.”

Boss smirked. “In this house?” he scoffed. “No way!”

Fozzie looked down at Kermit. “Have you met Miss Piggy?” he asked.

The frog stared up at the bear. “Are you… serious?” he asked.

“He’s joking,” I said quickly, not looking away from the computer. “He has been for awhile--part of the distraction.”

“Ah,” Boss said.

Fozzie wiggled his ears again silently and brilliantly.

Chief leaned forward, putting his hand on my shoulder. He looked at the computer and twisted his face. “I’ll never understand how you know so much about how to do this, Scooter,” he told me. “I always think ‘files’ looks like ‘flies’ and I get hungry and too distracted to finish whatever I’m doing.”

“That’s why Gonzo and I had to help you set up your webcam, right Kermit?” Fozzie said, patting Boss’s arm playfully.

He scrunched up his face--I love it when he does that (unless it’s directed towards me). “Scooter was the one who helped me set up the webcam, Fozzie,” the frog said. “You and Gonzo were just in the first video.”

“As always!” I said, half-jokingly.

“Well… maybe that could change soon,” Chief said.

I looked up from the laptop and titled my head to the side. “Whadaya mean, boss?” I asked.

The frog shrugged. “I dunno, I just think we could try to work in everyone--even Beau got in a video!” he said.

“Yeah, but he was just cleaning on the other side of the green screen when Bobo called him over! He didn’t have a choice!” I said.

“True,” Boss said, “but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be cleaning on the other side of a green screen too.”

“He’s right, Scooter,” Fozzie said. “That’s how I get in most videos! Ahh!”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, guys,” I said reluctantly. “I’m happy just uploading here.”

“That’s not what you told me yesterday,” Fozzie said.

I turned around and shot Fozzie a glare. “I was stressed… The Chef scrambled my cell phone in with my eggs for breakfast.”

“We all know you’d like to be in a video, Scooter,” Boss said. “I’ll talk to Jim and Kirk and see where we can work you in, okay? Just get these videos uploaded for now.” Chief turned away and headed for the door.

“Hey, Chief?” I called after him suddenly.

He turned around and smiled at me. “Hm?”

“Thanks,” I told my boss--and best friend.

“You’re welcome--but I didn’t do anything,” Fozzie said. “Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!”

Boss scrunched up his face, I frowned. “Foz-zie!” we both shouted in unison.

Fozzie shrugged. “I know you’re used to it by now,” he said.

Boss and I both nodded. “Yeah,” we said. “You’re right.”

Fozzie looked back and forth between us. “That was weird,” he said.

“In this house?” Boss and I both said again. “No way.”

The bear smiled. “Ahh! You guys are funn-ee! You should work that into an act!” he said.

Boss did a double-take. “Or a video! Fozzie!” he shouted.

Fozzie jumped back. “What’d I do, Kermit?” he asked nervously.

“You’ve just given me a spark of inspiration!” Chief shouted.

“Did somebody say SPARK?”

Boss and Fozzie coughed their way into the now blown-up hallway as the frog went to scold Crazy Harry. I shook my head with a smile, ate my last bite of PB&J, and uploaded a video of a chicken laying a talking cupcake.

 

[TogetherAgain]

AWESOME!

Love the explosions. Love the Bear. Love the Scooter/Kermit dynamic. Love the just-another-day-at-the-Muppet-Boarding-House feeling. LOVE the milk and the peanut butter.

The jelly, though... I'm not a big fan of the jelly.

 

[redBoobergurl]

A Scooter story! Fun! I had forgotten about this lovely little thread of yours Prawnie! Nice to see new life in it!

 

[Alpha Centauri]

Very funny I love it!

 

[Leyla]

<laughs, laughs, and laughs some more>

Prawnie, this got even better than it already was between the time I fell asleep, and the time I crawled home from school. I really must stop with this whole "sleeping" thing. I waste so much time!

First of all... peanuuuuuuuut, peanut butter! (And jelly!)

We call it jam in Canada, mind you... but... with time, I will learn to adjust.

Second of all, Scooter! You've actually caught my attention here, and increased my fondness for Scooter. That's probably a good thing, since he's the Muppet I apparently am, which would explain my yarn hair and tendency to scheme the frog and pig together.

Third of all, the puntastic atmosphere that reminds me why puns (and pundits) remind me of you.

Sometimes, Crazy Harry can be considered merciful intervention. I wonder if he'll work for me next time I'm trapped in an awkward conversation.

Pi of all, the whole website connection... you beat me to it fair and square! Pity that trip wire missed, only, it's not, because... this was great! I loved the name dropping, Scooter's old man reminiscing of the good ol' days, and the general thrill I feel when I'm thinking of how far the muppets have come since I first started kicking around this site. Ah, I remember it well... it was back in 19 odd 6, and... oops. Point is, ouch! Pointy!... that I love how Scooter is written. My sockeths are rockethed.

5th, I mean 3rd! I mean... 4th... Clucketeers singing a'cluckpella.

But I don’t get either--unless you count the all-chicken “Clucketeers” led by Gonzo whose main focus is performing TV show theme songs a’cluckpella.

Someday the world will be different. Gonzo's fanclub will complete their plans for world domination, and my personal dream of hearing a brand new Star Trek theme performed entirely by chickens will come to marvelous fruition!

I typed in my password to grant me access to my Mac (no, I’m not a PC--no matter how much Clifford says I look like that guy in the commercials!). We didn’t even have computers back in those days--wow, how the time flies… seems like just yesterday that--

"I'm a Liberal."
"And I'm a PC..."

Sorry, Canadian humour. Scooter would SO be a mac muppet.

“Hiya, Foz! What’s up?” I asked cheerfully.

“The ceiling! Ahhh!” Fozzie joked.

Yer stealin' mah bit, Bear.

“Ya know,” I said to the bear, “you don’t have to say that every time someone asks ‘What’s up?’”

Oh, sure he does!

Fozzie looked confused. “Oh,” he said with a blank stare. “Well Rizzo and Pepe told me I did!”

I sighed, “Go figure. Did ya need something, Fozzie?” I asked.

A better agent? A joke writer? A career change? Maybe just another rubber chicken...

“Ooh!” Fozzie said with earnest interest. “Am I in it?”

<coos at the Bear>

“I’m not sure, I haven’t seen it yet,” I told him. “Have you shot any new clips lately?”

“Of course not!” Fozzie shouted, sounding completely disturbed by what I’d just said. “I would never shoot anyone! Especially not a clip!”

It is a little known fact that Fozzie is the spokesbear for the SPCC.

“Sure! Don’t you know who I am? Furry, fuzzy, funny man, remember?” Fozzie asked, wiggling his ears.

Every time his ears wiggle, a comedian gets his wings. Man, I love Fozzie.

“Did somebody say FLASH?” someone shrieked from within my closet.

Instinctively, I grabbed my laptop and turned away from the closet as it exploded from within. Fozzie ducked somewhere behind me.

In fairness to Crazy Harry... he could have responded to that in a much worse way.

Crazy Harry stared at me like I was… crazy.

Never a good sign. Although, come to think of it...

“That’s what I--wait, what?” I asked, confused. “You… want people to think you’re going to blow them up?”

Crazy Harry shrugged. “Most people think I’m a blast!” he said as he left my room, cackling the entire way.

I sighed again and turned back to Fozzie, who was carefully holding my laptop. “Thanks Foz,” I said as I grabbed it back from him. “You’d think we’d learn about saying things like that in this house!”

Oh, Scooter, if you haven't learned by now...

Fozzie shrugged as I sat my laptop back on my desk. “I think ‘flash’ is a new one for him.”

Ready to despise myself for what I was about to say, I smirked and turned to Fozzie. “He must’ve had a flash of inspiration,” I said.

Fozzie stared at me. “I don’t get it,” he said.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
<ahem>
Ha. The reason Scooter, Kermit, Piggy, Sam, and everyone ELSE who should know better doesn't, is because they're always looking for their own openings.

“What?” I asked, completely shocked that Fozzie Bear, the world’s greatest stand-up bear comedian didn’t get my joke. But, then again, I was talking to Fozzie Bear, the world’s greatest stand-up bear comedian.

Fozzie slapped me on the back--harder than I expected. “Ahh! I’m kidding, Scooter! C’mon! I’ve been doing that this whole time!” he said.

“Fozzie!” I scolded the bear. “Ya know… you’re funnier when you’re pretending not to be.”

Oh, he is by FAR! But oh my goodness, does he ever ever ever remind me of the jokes my grade primary students tell.

Student: <tells the world's worst joke, usually forgetting or mangling the punchline.>
Me: <smiles bravely> Oh, that's cute, Jimmy, now go sit...
Student: <shouts out a random word, followed by, "GET IT!" and laughs uproariously>
Me:<befuddled giggling>
Other students in Primary: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Random word!

Fozzie would love my job.

“And I’ll take that as a compliment!” Fozzie said with his huge grin.

You should, Fozzie! Oh, you were talking to Scooter...

As I opened up the flash drive to access the videos, I heard the splat of damp feet upon our wood floor in the hallway. There was only one person that could possibly be--

“Scooter!” Boss called from the hallway. “Hey, Scooter,” he said as he poked his green head in my room. “Lyelle just called and asked why the new videos weren’t up yet. So… why aren’t the new videos up yet?” the frog asked me.

6! (We now return you to my endeavours of counting. I know you've been missing them.) Damp feet. 7! Boss is capitalised. 8! Name dropping! <lightning> <thunder> Ah ah ah!

“They’re coming!” I told Chief. “I’ve been… distracted.”

But not how Kermit is usually distracted...

Boss smirked. “In this house?” he scoffed. “No way!”

Fozzie looked down at Kermit. “Have you met Miss Piggy?” he asked.

Thanks, Foz.

The frog stared up at the bear. “Are you… serious?” he asked.

Well, a serious CASE... aren't they all...

“He’s joking,” I said quickly, not looking away from the computer. “He has been for awhile--part of the distraction.”

“Ah,” Boss said.

Fozzie wiggled his ears again silently and brilliantly.

<finds that silently brilliant!>

Chief leaned forward, putting his hand on my shoulder. He looked at the computer and twisted his face. “I’ll never understand how you know so much about how to do this, Scooter,” he told me. “I always think ‘files’ looks like ‘flies’ and I get hungry and too distracted to finish whatever I’m doing.”

<cracks up> We gotta feed that frog more.

“That’s why Gonzo and I had to help you set up your webcam, right Kermit?” Fozzie said, patting Boss’s arm playfully.

<snickers>

He scrunched up his face--I love it when he does that (unless it’s directed towards me).

Me too, without the exception!

“Scooter was the one who helped me set up the webcam, Fozzie,” the frog said. “You and Gonzo were just in the first video.”

“As always!” I said, half-jokingly.

Awwww... now that is sweet. Poor forgotten go-fer. Kermit, I demand that you change that!

“Well… maybe that could change soon,” Chief said.

Too slow! Address my concerns faster!

I looked up from the laptop and titled my head to the side. “Whadaya mean, boss?” I asked.

The frog shrugged. “I dunno, I just think we could try to work in everyone--even Beau got in a video!” he said.

Here! Here! What a great goal!

“Yeah, but he was just cleaning on the other side of the green screen when Bobo called him over! He didn’t have a choice!” I said.

Who, Beau, or Bobo?

“True,” Boss said, “but that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be cleaning on the other side of a green screen too.”

Careful Scooter, this could be a trick...

“He’s right, Scooter,” Fozzie said. “That’s how I get in most videos! Ahh!”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, guys,” I said reluctantly. “I’m happy just uploading here.”

Uh huh. Suuuuuure.

“That’s not what you told me yesterday,” Fozzie said.

<laughs> Shoulda known better to deny it with Fozzie around...

I turned around and shot Fozzie a glare. “I was stressed… The Chef scrambled my cell phone in with my eggs for breakfast.”

Now that is a feeling I know all too well. Stress... and also scrambled cellphone. Low in sodium, high in plastic!

“We all know you’d like to be in a video, Scooter,” Boss said. “I’ll talk to Jim and Kirk and see where we can work you in, okay? Just get these videos uploaded for now.” Chief turned away and headed for the door.

Jim and Kirk. Jim and Kirk. <hums Star Trek theme a'cluckpella>
<needs lessons from Beau>

“Hey, Chief?” I called after him suddenly.

He turned around and smiled at me. “Hm?”

“Thanks,” I told my boss--and best friend.

Awwww... now that's darling. I bet Kermit would make an awesome best friend. I wonder if he's accepting applications... and if I'd survive Piggy's screening process. Probably not. Nevermind!

...

Kidding, Piggy! I was kidding!

“You’re welcome--but I didn’t do anything,” Fozzie said. “Ahh! Wocka! Wocka!”

Boss scrunched up his face, I frowned. “Foz-zie!” we both shouted in unison.

Fozzie shrugged. “I know you’re used to it by now,” he said.

Boss and I both nodded. “Yeah,” we said. “You’re right.”

Fozzie looked back and forth between us. “That was weird,” he said.

“In this house?” Boss and I both said again. “No way.”

Oh, beautiful. A couple of nice little line call backs there. Very nicely done, Prawnie!

The bear smiled. “Ahh! You guys are funn-ee! You should work that into an act!” he said.

Boss did a double-take. “Or a video! Fozzie!” he shouted.

Fozzie jumped back. “What’d I do, Kermit?” he asked nervously.

“You’ve just given me a spark of inspiration!” Chief shouted.

Oh, we need to get you on the muppet staff, PRawnie.

“Did somebody say SPARK?”

Boss and Fozzie coughed their way into the now blown-up hallway as the frog went to scold Crazy Harry. I shook my head with a smile, ate my last bite of PB&J, and uploaded a video of a chicken laying a talking cupcake.

[/quote]

The call backs are flying fast and furious! Really neatly tied together at the end here, Prawnie! Love it! Badly needed bright spot to my day, just like the author! Thanks!

 

[TogetherAgain]

...Well now I'm just trying to figure out if I laughed more at the story, or at Leyla's review thereof. It's a tough call. I think I might just have to go back and reread both. Oh, how unfortunate for me...

 

[The Count]

I'm with Lisa. When it comes to sandwiches, I much prefer PB and pickles.
What?

This thread makes me smile at how you interpret/fictionalize the Muppet.Com videos, especially since I can't log in to see those. Keep up the good job.