I'm real upset

[dwayne1115]

Ok so most everyone on here knows that I have four kids who are not really mine. That said I love each one of them very much and would do anything for them, but there mom gets me mad sometimes. This morning she was playing a game and her oldest daughter came in and wanted to hug her mommy. Mommy pushed her away and said stop. I yelled my girlfriend and said if she don't pause the game i would rip it out of the wall. She finaly said to her little girl that she could hug her,but never huged her back because she was to busy playing her game. I try my best that no matter what im doing when one of the kids wants a hug i drop whatever im doing and hug them. I sometimes i feel that i love these kids more then her. What should I do?

 

[Speed Tracer]

You'll hear this a lot but the best solution is just to talk to her about it. Let her know the importance of loving her kids and letting them know it. Like it or not, and it sounds strange, but children have to be held. They need it and they want it. It's not a matter of opinion, it's fact. My mom and dad hug me and kiss me every day, and it gets old and kind of annoying. But thinking about not receiving that love on a regular basis... makes me glad I get it.

And you're really one heck of a guy for doing what you do, Dwayne.

 

[Beakerfan]

Dwayne, I'm probably not the best person to give you advice, seeing as I'm not a parent. But I would suggest you really take some time to think things through - it's obvious you totally love these kids, and it's understandable that you want to give them the best life you can. But you can't base your relationship on the question "What about the kids?". If things really do work out between you and your girlfriend: Great! Go for it! but if they don't, I would suggest you continue to show those kids the love they need. Obviously you wouldn't see them as much, but a lot can be said with a phone call or a quick stop by the house.

 

[dwayne1115]

thanks guys,

It had got worst today because the same daughter that wanted a hug also got called stupid today. When she did that man I really let her have it.

 

[BeakerSqueedom]

:/ Oh Dwayne, how admirable!
I know what you mean.
Henry, my divorced father, hugs his children.
Never hugged me because I wasn't his own blood--I'm adopted, you see.

Some of my family members look down on me for not being theirs naturally.

It hurts.

I admire you for hugging children who aren't even yours.
That's beautiful.
Thank you for making my day, Dwayne.

 

[CensoredAlso]

If it is really bad, I would suggest counseling. My prayers are with your family!

 

[BEAR]

Dwayne, you are blessed with a kind and loving heart and those children are lucky that you are in their lives. That's all I can really say right now about it.

 

[MartyMuppets]

I agree with what's been said earlier Dwayne. Just sit down and talk about your feelings with their mother. She probably does care about them at heart but doesn't realize how little she shows it.
As long as she's willing to listen and discuss the situation everything will work out. It takes two though of course, but my prayers are with you.

 

[dwayne1115]

Thanks to everyone one else for all the wonderful things you have said.
I think i know why my girlfriend is the way she is, and now that I understand it i can at least help her. Her mother and her whole family for that matter never really show much emotion. They are ethier mad or ok, and I talked to her about that the other night, but didn't even think about her being that way. She is, and I can't belive I hadn't seen it until now. Just since I have been with her she has really changed for the better and has started playing with the kids more, which i love to see. I gusses it will just take time, and sometimes i forget that. Yesterday was just a ruff day for us all and we all have bad days.

Me and my girlfriend plan on getting married we just have to wait for some leagl things to clear up before we can. On that note we both said commentment vows to one another before God and each other, so in that since we are married. I hope this clears anything up.

 

[dwayne1115]

Thank You all! I also just want to say I love My girlfriend and would never do anything to hurt her, or the kids. To me it is like the family I always wanted. Most guys want to be rich or whatever but all I ever wanted was a wife and kids. Now I got them both and could not be happier.