I wish things would get easier

[Katzi428]

Hi everyone,
It's been over a month since my dad passed away. Whoever said "Time heals all wounds." wasn't talking about when someone you love dies...that's the truth.
Yesterday I went to get my hair cut & the hairdresser & I were talking about when I moved down here.So I said I moved from NY to FL. in 1997 with my parents & younger sister. Well,when I started mentioning that my dad had passed away last month,it was a BIG mistake!Tears started streaming down my face. I really was embarrassed & I apologized to the hairdresser & she said she understood.
Then last night I was out to dinner with my mother & sister. I started feeling teary eyed again,but this time I was able to keep it in until we left.
When we got home,I called my friend & told her what happened throughout the day.So she picked me up (she lost her brother 15 years ago,so she could identify with a family member dying) I cried a lot over there too.
Things just really stink right now. Thank goodness I have you all here in MC,plus other friends Online & my aforementioned Offline friend.
*HUGS*
Kathy

 

[MrsPepper]

**GIANT HUGS** We're all hear to lend an ear to you.

 

[BEAR]

Yeah, just hang in there. It will never get easy, but it will get easier, believe me. Always feel free to vent to us. We are here for you.

 

[redBoobergurl]

You know, a month isn't all that long really. It's still so fresh, so you have every right to still feel that way. And you probably will for sometime. But, know that we are here for you whenever you need someone! And if you need to cry, go ahead! Eventually, it will get better.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Granny Ethel died in the early 90's and I'm still not over it. But, my good memories of and with her are so many that I don't have time to think about her being gone...more like she left for a little while.

 

[Ziffel]

Good points everyone. I can attest to the same thing regarding my Uncle Jack's untimely death in 1995 at 49. I still grieve the loss of this great man but I also still enjoy thinking about and talking about the numerous memories I have of him making me laugh, imparting wisdom, and showing me genuine love and care.
(((((((Katzi)))))) Time may not heal ALL wounds nor ever make it EASY, but it will make it EASIER, as Bear said. A month isn't very long, as Redboobergurl pointed out. Your grieving of your father is totally normal and understandable (as well as beautiful, as it shows your huge love for him). Thanks for sharing and please keep doing so. And with your hairdresser too (I've always found barbers to be good for getting things off my chest. ).

 

[Erine81981]

HUGGING LOTS OF! Its ok Kathy. Were all here for you. Keep up yourself stong.

 

[D'Snowth]

Stay strong Katz, things will be all right, you'll see.

 

[christyb]

Oh Kathy, I'll keep praying for you. I know things are hard now. Don't worry though. That's what we're all here for. Grieving is hard. My grandparents died over two years ago now. I was really close to them. So it's still hard at times. I know how you feel. It does get better. It just takes longer than you want it too.

 

[Katzi428]

Thank you everyone.
When my dad first died,my whole family & I were really upset naturally. But my older brother & younger sister told me to not cry in front of my mother. If I felt the need to cry,I should just cry in my room & be strong for my mother.
So yesterday when I was so upset,naturally I couldn't help crying in front of my mother. She just hugged me & said,"We'll get by...don't worry." When I mentioned to her what my brother & sister had said after my dad died,she told me that it was okay to cry in front of her. If I didn't show any sign of emotion,it'd make me look like a cold hearted person.
(I suppose my brother & sister meant well...I don't know. Those two seem closer relationshipwise anyway.Out of the 4 of us...I have a younger brother as well....I seem like the black sheep.)