Girls do NOT like men wearing pants that show their boxers, OK?
“Run you weirdoes!”
Sam bellowed, his downy feathers swayed with each brisk movement. The muppets scattered about in panic. The clicking of shoes invaded the slick floor. The soft wrinkles of white bed covers were now straightened, pillows fluffed up, and things put away. It was a dream come-true for the local neat-freak. “Don’t forget your combs,” Johnny reminded the others coolly. “Gals love men with neat hair.” He added. Some of the boys nodded their heads in agreement. “I almost forgot about that.” Bunsen said with a sheepish look. Beaker looked at him as if he had committed a sin. He squirmed a little under his gaze “Well, it’s not as if I’ll bald anytime soon.” Bunsen defended “I mean, with all this hair…”. Beaker rolled his eyes and shoved the comb into his pocket.
You see, the 50’s was a different time. Being neat was the real deal if you wanted to strike up a decent conversation with a girl. As an example, to be seen with baggy pants that show part of your polka-dotted boxers, or have a corn rose as a hairstyle…you’d look like a fool. Probably would have to wear the dunce hat—maybe even put on a brown bag to cover your face. “Si, I have it right here.” Pepe said proudly. Sam looked around embarrassedly “Um, I don’t have any…er…hair.” He mentioned. “Don’t worry ‘bout that, man.” Floyd chirped with his little laugh. “You’re just a little late growin’ into your feathers.” He said. “Shut up, Pepper.” Sam snapped. Laughter played soundly in the room. “Straight line, guys!” Gonzo cried. They had forgotten about their daily inspection. Panic rose again in the room. Each scrambled to their designated post. Looking stiffer than a board as they stood.
A creaking sound was heard, clicks rising up the stairs, and the door creaked to sound the intruder’s entrance. The air turned cold, the whine of the door seemed eerie. “That sounds like the doorbell my father has.” Count mused. “Not all of us haunt some spook house, gnome.” Grouch mocked. “I see vwon, vwon idiot.” He retorted smoothly with his signature laugh. “I oughtta…” The Grouch began. Thankfully, he was stopped by Count’s use of mysticism “Violence is never the answer, Oscar.” Count chided. The others quieted him by putting their fingers to their lips. Miss Pleasance crept into the room, her dress trailing behind her like a slippery eel. A thin tight smile formed on her face. She reminded Kermit of a plastic bag strapped over a box.
Bony fingers smoothed out her dress. She did not search the room as one would normally do. She had a trained eye for all that was messy. Her eyes did all the searching. Lack of movement made her look dead. Oh, how they wished she was. Sadly, she was very much alive. Her nostrils did not flare, nor did her eyes narrow. The lines on her face seemed relaxed (nearly). The elderly woman finally took a step forward “What are you waiting for?” She barked. Rizzo was the first to run out of the room. Once they were out, they noticed they had been holding their breaths the whole time. “I’m-m-m scared!” Link sobbed. Sal shook his head grimly “Toughen up, Heartthrob!” he spat before smacking him lightly from the back of his head. Johnny glared at Sal “Only I do the smackin’, Sal.” He said, smacking Sal the same way he had done to Link. Miss Piggy cuddled up to Johnny with a dreamy look in her eyes. “Hello, amour.” She greeted. From afar, Kermit frowned at her coquettish ways. This truly disappointed him.
Bunsen was still recovering from seeing his teacher’s face “Oh, she’s so horrid!” He cried. His tolerance for her was lowering bit by bit. Beaker nodded “Uglymeep!”. “Gruesome doesn’t even cut it.” Rizzo said. “Good one!” Gonzo chimed in. The scientific duo looked to each other in amusement. “You could achieve having an extensive vocabulary, but none could ever fit her atrociousness.” Bunsen added.
“Meep meep meep meep meep meep meep, meep.” Beaker said. The rest gave puzzled looks. Bunsen was the only one laughing.
It was hard for Beaker to make a funny when only Bunsen understood him.
:/
[This was a fun chapter for me to write...heh]
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
