Here is a Muppet News Flash! Reports are
pouring in -- *ducks as bucketfuls of paper rain down on him* Er...to the effect that one "Ryan," the webmaster of a well-documented Muppet site, is NOT, in fact, a Doozer! The scandal rocked the Fraggle world today as denizens of the depths discovered that their celebrations over a Doozer actually being able to build something
virtually were vastly premature! This reporter caught up to one such Fraggle calling himself Convincing John to ask how the sordid news was going to affect how the Fraggles interact with Outer Space. He replied...er...er...
*fumbles through notes*
Uh...ahem. I seem to have replaced all of my notes today with coupons for McDonald's sugar-straw tinkertoys...I'm not sure why I did that...seemed like a good idea at the time...
At any rate. Whether or not the Doozer imposter turns himself in to the authorities, we here at Muppet News wish him a Very Happy Birthday!
*pauses, listens as small blonde rat runs up to whisper at him*
Er...it was
yesterday? This isn't actually NEWS? Er...uhm. Ahem.
Uh...in other Muppet News! Prawn futures today hit a record high --- whooooaaa!
*numerous prawns with jetpacks buzz the news desk*
ACK! I'm allergic to crustaceans! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!
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