Halloween Gross Out

[abiraniriba]

Good going Look at Jones Soda

Okay, everybody. Who here likes football? Good. Now how many of you would like to lick the sweat right off the players feet, armpits and other unmentionable parts? Not many, eeh, I didn't think so. On the other hand Jones Soda Company does. Check out this article I found at AOL

Jones Soda (JSDA) offers NFL fans the taste of victory, field turf
Posted Sep 28th 2007 2:40PM by Michael Fowlkes
Filed under: Press releases, Products and services, Management, Consumer experience, Marketing and advertising, Jones Soda (JSDA)

Have you ever watched your favorite NFL team and thought to yourself, "I wonder what their locker room tastes like?" The creative team at Jones Soda Co. (NASDAQ: JSDA) is thinking Seattle Seahawks fans have, and has designed a few new sodas that will offer its drinkers just such a taste experience as Perspiration and Dirt.

Seattle-based Jones Soda began taking online pre-orders yesterday for its new soda flavors that it thinks accurately reflects the hard work of professional football players. I don't know about you ... but I have personally never watched football and found myself wondering what the players' sweat would smell like, much less taste like. But if by some chance you have found yourself obsessed with not knowing the taste of such things, you are in luck!

Welcome to the world of Perspiration soda. According to company spokeswoman Clare Bowles, the new Perspiration brand soda is "kind of salty tasting," and perhaps even more tempting to your taste buds, it has a "stinky football sock" finish. Wow ... my prayers have been answered! I never would have dreamed that my desire for a drink with a stinky football sock aftertaste would be fulfilled.

OK, so maybe Perspiration isn't the taste you are after. Maybe you're looking for something a little easier to the palette. You can choose one of the other new flavors that the company is offering up like, say ... Dirt, Sports Cream or Natural Field Turf. Hmm, not sure which one appeals to me more, the dirt or the sports cream. Decisions, decisions.

I think personally I would choose to try out the last of the new flavors ... Sweet Victory. This flavor is supposed to possess a berry flavor, which is more appealing to me than the effect one would get when being "tackled really hard, you're down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth." That's, apparently, is the Natural Turf taste.

What do you think? Would you buy a soda called Dirt? What about Perspiration? I wonder if Jones Soda is going to try to compliment its Sweet Victory flavor with a new one called Bitter Defeat. Would make sense I suppose.

All you Seattle Seahawks fans out there can head over to the company's website and order your 5-pack of the tasty flavors now.


Michael Fowlkes has worked as a stock trader for seven years and spent the last two years working as an analyst for the online investment advisory service Investor's Observer.

So next time somebody tells you to "put a sock in it" you can just drink some soda that tastes like a sock instead.

Here's the website if you want it: http://www.jonessoda.com/

 

[ZootyCutie]

I just thought of something! This thread is missing one of the funniest kinds of gross-out! Toilet humor! Here's some very funny toilet humor.

http://chefofevil.deviantart.com/art/Battle-for-ze-Throne-52013608

 

[anytimepally]

Here's a song we used to sing when I was young:

Don't you ever laugh as a hearse goes by,
for you may be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
And cover you up from your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box,
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
And then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes,
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it out on a slice of bread,
And that's what you eat when you are dead!

the end.

 

[ZootyCutie]

Okay, this is a gross, yet funny comic. It's fine on the other parts, but the ending just makes you think "Eww!".

http://behonkiss.deviantart.com/art/Warioke-8950873

Can you handle it?

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Nice Artwork!

 

[abiraniriba]

This is getting gross, but good

Okay, moving right along Allow me to introduce a song I used to sing back at Aquehonga of TMR Scout Camps in ustate New York known as "Gory Gory, What A **** Of A Way To Die" sung to the tune of "The Battle Hymn Of The Republic."

(chorus)
Gory, gory, what a **** of a way to die
Gory, gory what a **** of a way to die
Gory, gory what a **** of a way to die
He ain't gonna jump no more

He jumped from 30,000 feet without a parachute (repeat 3x)
He ain't gonna jump no more

Chorus

He landed on the runway like a blob of strawberry jam (repeat 3x)
He ain't gonna jump no more

Chorus

They put him in a jam jar and sent him home to ma (repeat 3x)
He ain't gonna jump no more

Chorus

And after a nice funeral, they all sat down to strawberry jam and tea (repeat 3x)
He ain't gonna jump no more

Chorus

To all of you who have seen "The Cube" I heard that song long before I saw the show at the MT&R, but I did catch the reference while posting it just now, I wonder if the Scouts who created these lyrics saw the show.

Okay, editors I see the swear word was bleeped out, that's understandable though **** has lost some of its heat as a result of overuse. For those of you who can't figure out what the *'s mean it's the opposite of heaven.

 

[ZootyCutie]

Here's a song that has a gross out factor to it. It's called "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit".

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat your beans with every meal!

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

Beans, beans, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you eat,
The more you sit on the toilet seat!​

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So lift your leg, and let them squeal!

 

[abiraniriba]

Cannibal song and play

Okay, I just made this one up today: It's called the Cannibal Song and Play

Cannibal A (singing): Eat Eat Eat. Sweet Sweet Sweet. Meat Meat Meat.
Cannibal B: Hey those are my feet
Cannibal A: Oh sorry, here you go.
Cannibal B: Hey, I taste good
Cannibal A: So do I.
Both (singing): Eat Eat Eat. Sweet Sweet Sweet. Meat Meat Meat.

 

[Ilikemuppets]

Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
Mutilated Monkey Feet
Chewed up Little Birdie Feet
Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
And me without a spoon

(spoken) Does anybody have a straw?

Hey! I remember this song!

 

[abiraniriba]

Good because I have two straws