Chapter Fifteen
One Month and One Week Later
August 3, 1969
“Has anyone heard from Rowlf lately?” Don Sahlin asked as the group emerged from the deli and squinted at the afternoon sun.
“He called the other day,” Jerry Juhl said.
“Oh where is he?” Frank Oz asked.
“Montana,” Jim Henson said.
“Montana?” Jerry Nelson repeated. “I thought he was in Minnesota.”
“Didn’t he say he was in Missouri?” Kermit asked.
“No, it was Massachusetts,” Jerry Juhl said.
“All right, so he was in an ‘M’ state,” Frank said.
“Maybe he was in Maine,” Done suggested.
“No,” the others said in unison.
“Mississippi?” Frank guessed.
“I’d remember if he was in Mississippi,” Kermit said. “Besides, he was there last week. I don’t think he’d still be there.”
Jim nodded. “He hasn’t held still much since that Jimmy Dean tour a few years back,” he said.
“Well,” Don joked as they walked, “Today’s lunch has been brought to us by the letter ‘M’ and the number- Hey!”
“That’s not a number,” Kermit said. He turned. Don had stopped walking.
“What happened to the record store?”
Kermit looked at the dark, empty store with a “For Sale” sign in the window. “Oh, that,” he said. “They closed about nine months ago, and nobody’s bought it since.”
“Didn’t last long, did it?” Frank said.
Kermit shrugged. “It had a few good years,” he said. “It was a diner before, though.”
He fell deaf to the conversation. In his mind, he could still see the diner, cream spilled on the floor, a fallen stool… He could see the record store when it was new, on a dark night, with Her in his arms, flowers in Her hair…
“Hey, Kermit?”
Jim’s voice snapped him back to the present.
“You coming?”
“Yeah, sorry about that…” he quickly caught up with the rest of the group, already a few stores ahead of him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One Year and Two Weeks Later
August 18, 1970
“I’ll meet you there, Jim!” Kermit called behind him as he left the office. He turned and walked straight into a blue furry thing, accidentally knocking it- or rather, him- down the stairs.
“WAH-HOO!” the thing shouted as he tumbled. “LOOK OUT BELOW!” He crash-landed on the ground floor.
Kermit ran down to see if he was all right.
“That was so cool!” the thing said as he sat up. He turned and looked at Kermit. “Hey, are you the guy that pushed me?”
Kermit knelt beside him. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that-“
“Oh don’t be sorry, it was fun!” the thing said.
“Fun?” Kermit repeated.
“Sure! Could you push me again?”
“Uh- no,” Kermit said, “But I
could help you get up.” He held out his hand.
“That works too!” the thing said. He took the hand, and Kermit pulled him to his feet. “Thanks,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” Kermit said. “Are you okay?”
“Of course,” the thing said.
“Your nose looks a little… bent-up there…” Kermit said.
The thing ran his hand along his long, stiff nose, and felt a small crook at the end of it. “Oh. Thanks,” he said. He bent his nose into a downward hook, popping and cracking it as he did so. “Much better.”
Kermit looked him over apprehensively and held out his hand. “Uh, my name’s Kermit, by the way. Kermit the Frog.”
The thing shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Kermit the Frog,” he said. “My name’s The Great Gonzo.”
“Nice to meet you, Gonzo,” Kermit said. “Well listen, now I know
who you are, but uh, I’m not really sure
what you are.”
“Neither am I!” Gonzo said enthusiastically. “Just put me down as a
Whatever.”
Kermit shrugged. “Okay,” he said hesitantly.
“So what brings you here?” Gonzo asked.
“Oh I work here,” Kermit said.
“Really?” Gonzo said. “I’ve never seen you here before.”
“Well I’ve been pretty busy over on Sesame Street,” the frog explained. “What about you? Why are you here?”
“I’m in
The Great Santa Claus Switch,” Gonzo said.
“Oh!”
“Yeah, I play the Cigar Box Frackle.”
“One of the frackles,” Kermit said. “I should’ve known.”
“But I’m actually a plumber,” he went on. “Y’see this is just a side job. I’m trying to get some extra money.”
“Oh? What for?” Kermit asked.
“Well…” Gonzo said with an embarrassed smile.
“Oh,” Kermit said, understanding. “A girlfriend, huh?”
Gonzo shifted his weight. “Hopefully,” he said. “See I met this real gorgeous chicken named Camilla, and… Well, I’m hoping… I’m hoping.”
Kermit nodded. “Well good luck with that,” he said.
“Thanks!” Gonzo said. “Hey uh, what about you? You got anybody?”
Kermit quickly looked down and away. “I-“ He stared at his flippers for a long moment. “
Used to,” he whispered under his breath. “I don’t play that game,” he said.
“What do you mean?” Gonzo asked.
“I don’t date,” Kermit said firmly, still looking at his flippers. He had come to dread these conversations, and the unintentional but hard blow they dealt.
Gonzo watched him, curious. “You’re probably safer that way,” he said. “Me, I live to take risks. But any way,” he looked at the stairs, “I should get back up there. Thanks for pushing me.”
Kermit looked at him, a little confused. “Uh- you’re welcome, I guess,” he said. “Uh, it was nice meeting you, Gonzo.”
“Nice to meet you too! Maybe I’ll see you around some time.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Kermit said. Under his breath he added, “In a padded cell.”
Gonzo hurried up the stairs and Kermit turned to leave. He had his hand on the knob when he heard Gonzo shout “WHOOPIE!” He turned around in time to see The Great Gonzo crash onto the floor face-first and sit up with a huge grin on his face.
Kermit stared at him. “You weren’t kidding about ‘taking risks,’ were you,” he said.
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