Favorite Quotes

[Gorgon Heap]

From "Tales of the Tinkerdee":

Taminella:
"Hafen, yafen, oolioob
Zorkel norkel, Scooby Doo.
Kremel krip, kremel kram,
Pik, with a g'nickt'g'nock, shazam!"

TMS:

Kermit: "Skiers on crutches and chickens on springs!"
Gonzo: (rushes up, singing) "These are a few of my favorite things!"


More to come. Yours?

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[jediX]

JHH:

ROCCO
This trick has been done once! And the guy died!!!

ZONDRA, CHIP, UBU
[In awe.]
Ooooh....

ROCCO
...twenty years later...



---------------

KERMIT
Well listen, after these messages we'll be back with a lot of great funny sketches and some neat songs...

The ratings drastically crash.

KERMIT
...and maybe some sex...

VICKY
What?!

KERMIT
Well, just a little sex. ...but all of it starring Bean Bunny!

Ratings soar and squeal.

VICKY
Oh brother...

​

 

[erniebert1234ss]

TMS:

KTF: Fozzie, what is the banana sketch?
Foz: (after putting his hat on Kermit) YOU never heard of the banana sketch? Hey guys, Kermit never heard of the banana sketch.
KTF: I think somebody's pulling my leg. Somebody IS pulling my leg, it's the Great Gonzo.
Gonzo: You never heard of the banana sketch? Ha ha ha ha ha!
KTF: WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?

BJ

 

[Fraggleforever]

Kermit: Frogateer roll call, roll call now!
Stu!
Jennifer!
Newt!
Stu!
Cindy!
Robbie!
Stu!
Tsk Tsk Nebello!
Stu!
Kermit: Alright, that's enough now Stu! You said your name four times already!
Stu: Oh I'm sorry, I can't help it! I have a short term memory. Stu!!
from Muppets Tonight

[Sandra Bullock takes off Muppet mask]
Muppets: Sanda Bullock?!
Ernest: Yeah! Take off some more baby!!
Clifford: Ernest.....
Ernest: Sorry.
From Muppets Tonight

[Mudwell crying] Oh Tom.....Dead Tom's dead! [Sniffle] LONG JOHN SHOT HIM!! [Crying]
[Walleye Pike] But...but Dead Tom's always been dead. That's why he's called Dead Tom.
[Mudwell] Oh....
From Muppet Treasure Island

[Wembley] Well it's a disaster!! A disaster!! IT'S A DISASTER!!!!
From Fraggle Rock

 

[Sylinde Bren]

"Sticks and stones can't break my bones, and facts will never hurt me!" - Waldo, The Jim Henson Hour

"Okay, alright! Sometimes, late at night when I'm all alone, I wash my socks in club soda to make my feet fizz!" - Gonzo, The Jim Henson Hour

"'Cute' is his middle name." - Scooter
"Actually, it's 'Norman'." - Bean Bunny
- The Muppets At Walt Disney World

Many more...

 

[Saironi]

Uncle Deadly: Every night, at the stroke of 12, my master turns into a ragging, howling, manicial, blood-lusting animal!!!

Vincent *causally and whimpishly*: And then I get mean.

Piggy: Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

Kermit: What?

Piggy: Shakespear.

Kermit: Sounds more like Baceon.

*Piggy gasps* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A PORK-CHOP?! *Karate-Chops him* You always hurt the one you love. *stomps on him*

Gonzo*singing*: She touched me. She puts her arms around me and she kissed me.

Piggy: It was a case of mistaken identity.

Gonzo: Ohh, hold my hand, Miss Piggy. Hug me.

Piggy: I will not hug you, you....TWIT TURKEY!

*Gonzo flinches, but is undetered* : Just one little touch, o' pig of my dreams.

Piggy: Will you beat it, TWERP?!

Gonzo *desperate*: JUST TOUCH ME, O' HOG OF MY HEART!!! *pants*

Piggy: I'll give ya a touch!

Gonzo: I'm ready!!! *gets punched* She touched me. She swung her porky pinkies and she touched me. Ohhh.....*faints*

 

[Tonichelle]

Hopefully Muppet Christmas Carol is considered classic

Gonzo: "The Marley's were dead to begin with."
Rizzo: "WHAT?"
Gonzo: "That's how to the story begins, Rizzo. 'The Marley's were dead to begin with'! As dead as a doornail..."

Marley #1: "It's good to be heckling again!"
Marley #2: "It's good to be doing anything again!"

Rizzo: "Hey, hey! Light the lamp! Not the rat! LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT!"

Sam Eagle: "It is the American way!"
*Gonzo goes over and whispers in his "ear"*
Sam: "Oh. ... It is the Brittish way!"

I will be back for more I want to watch this movie now LOL

 

[G-MAN]

Here's one from The Muppet Show
Fozzie: You see, my agent Bernie pays me.
Kermit: By the joke?
Fozzie: No, by the laugh.
Kermit: Oh, so you owe him money!!!!!!

From Hey Cinderella
One of the ugly stepsisters is dancing with a man dressed up as Santa Clause
Stepsister 1: Now tell me, who is this Rudolph I remind you of?

Also From Hey Cinderella
King: It's a bad day for birthdays.

And One Of My Favorites From The Frog Prince
Robin: Wait a minute! She didn't say "Bake the hall in the candle of her brain", she said "Break the ball on the handle of her cane". Her cane! It's where she holds all her power.

 

[Skeeter Muppet]

Ghost of Faffner Hall - one reason I loved this show: Wild had some of the best lines.

Wild Impresario: (walks into a room filled with guitars) Hmm, James Taylor. James Taylor? I wonder if he plays guitar?

Wild: (going through James Taylor's desk drawer, naming items as he pulls them out) Strings...more strings. Plecktrum-uh, (laughs) picks. Rubber chicken with big nose and glasses?

Wild: (on the phone) Hello, Faffner Hall, Wild Impresario singing! ... You wish to enter our Festival of Sound? ... The sound of what? A singing keg? Oh, it's a barrel tone! Yes, well, roll it right over.


-Kim

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Obsessive-compulsive alert: I'm correcting the quotations:

Here's one from The Muppet Show
Fozzie: You see, my agent Bernie pays me.
Kermit: By the joke?
Fozzie: No, by the laugh.
Kermit: Oh, so you owe him money!!!!!!

Fozzie: "I gotta pay my gag writer, the legendary Gags Beasly!"
Kermit: "The legendary Gags comes pretty cheap, doesn't he?"
Fozzie: "Well, ah, we worked out a good deal!"
Kermit: "Oh, you pay him by the line?"
Fozzie: "No, I pay him by the laugh."
Kermit: "Oh. Then he owes you money!"

Also From Hey Cinderella
King: It's a bad day for birthdays.

King: "It's been a lousy year for birthdays."

And One Of My Favorites From The Frog Prince
Robin: Wait a minute! She didn't say "Bake the hall in the candle of her brain", she said "Break the ball on the handle of her cane".

Quote stops there.

Obsessive quote-fixer over and out.

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole