Favorite "At the Dance" Jokes

[muppetfan89]

Monster: "Mind if I smoke?"
Girl: "Nope"
(Smoke comes out of ears)

Girl: "Why do they call this a punch bowl?"
(looks inside and a boxing glove punches girl in the face)
Rowlf: "That's why."

 

[TotallySpiesFan]

Male Tennis Ball: What did you do today?
Female Tennis Ball: Just spent a day in court.

 

[peyjenk]

Loud Girl: "When can we announce our engagement?"
Man: "How about now?"
Loud Girl: "WE'RE ENGAGED! WE'RE ENGAGED! FINALLY, IT'S HAPPENED! WE'RE ENGAGED!"

Okay, so that's not the exact wording, but that exchange kills me every time.

 

[Gorgon Heap]

Mildred: "I find that most people don't believe what other people tell them."
George: "Aw, I don't think that's true."

David "Gorgon Heap" Ebersole

 

[Quesal]

Janice: I heard that the president said that you shouldn't panic if you don't have a job.
Zoot: That easy for him to say. He's got a job!

 

[Redsonga]

The one with the two snakes that goes something like:
Are we poisonous?
I'm not sure why do you ask?
I just bit my tongue!

 

[muppet maniac]

"Do you like to read?"
"Sure"
"Do you like Kipling?"
"I don't know. I never Kippled!"

"That man is annoying me!"
"He's not even looking at you!"
"That's what's annoying me!"

And those with the loud-mouthed blue girl.

 

[muppetpiratefan]

Janice: "Did you know the Rolling Stones are here?"
Zoot: "They're my favorite group!"
Janice: "No, these are the other Rolling Stones."
<stones roll by on screen>

 

[MrsPepper]

Waiter, waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?

Looks like the backstroke!

I think that was an At the Dance moment.

 

[theprawncracker]

Monk 1: "I hear you do all the cooking for the monestary."
Monk 2: "No, I only cook the potatoes."
Monk 1: "You only cook the potatoes?"
Fozzie: "NO! NO! I'm doing this one!"
Monk 1: "You only cook the potatoes? What do they call you?"
Fozzie: "The Frier!"
Monk 2: "No--the CHIPmunk!"