Wish granted, here's a special edditon half-chapter before I go out tonight. I'm not entirely sure on the custodian's speech, but I hope it's ok. Problem is...he's VERY hard to write for!!!
__
Fozzie Bear opened and shut his mouth. This was it. They’d been caught. Gonzo gulped. Now he too was a criminal. “Um,” Fozzie said. The snowman slumped forward heavily. Gonzo stumbled under the weight.
“Here,” said the custodian. “Let me help you with that.” A name-badge proudly displayed the title, ‘Custodian,’ and below it the name, ‘Beauregard.’
“Excuse me if I’m wrong,” Fozzie said. “But…”
“You’re excused,” said Beauregard. “But I never heard you even sneeze.” The custodian moved him aside, and took the main weight of the snowman on his broad shoulders. Fozzie frowned.
“Gee, thanks,” Gonzo said. “But…”
“…aren’t you meant to be guarding us from getting out, not assisting?” Fozzie finished.
“Oh, that’s all-right,” Beauregard said. “You don’t need to thank me, I’m just the cleaner.”
“But, but, but!” Gonzo exclaimed. “Your badge. It says, custodian.”
“Yeah,” Fozzie chimed in. “Isn’t that like a jailor or something?”
“Nope. Not really,” Beau answered. “More janitor, than jailer. You see, I answered the ad for a custodian, and they hired me right a-way. They only asked my name, and age. I think they loved my preventability.”
“Um…” Fozzie said again.
“I think he means personality,” Gonzo whispered.
“You know, similarlity,” Beauregard said.
“How long have you worked here?” Fozzie asked.
“After they asked me to clean the station, I spent a month at the railway lines,” Beau said. “Then I came here when they discovered I was at the wrong station.”
“I thought I knew your face,” Gonzo said.
Beau frowned. Fozzie looked at Gonzo. Gonzo shrugged.
They walked out into the reception. The reception was a large room with glass double doors leading to outside. There was a long desk, and a small wooden door with a wanted poster pasted to it. “WANTED” the poster declared. “Pepe ‘The King’ Prawn.” A mug shot showed a small prawn with bright red hair, and large eyes. Arms folded, the prawn had turned partly away from the camera. Below the picture, the words: “For Fraud, and Being Tricky, Ok.”
Gonzo sighed. So, even Pepe of Whippo Hair Braider fame was wanted by the police now…join the queue. There was another poster for a Bobby Benson who had broken child labour laws.
“We’d better be off,” Gonzo told Beau quickly, before his face joined the others in line on that wall of Wanted fame. “It was nice knowing you.” He extended a hand, but Beau didn’t take it.
“O-key. If you’re going, I should just let the chief know so he can say goodbye.”
“No, wait!” Gonzo called, but Beau had already moved around the desk. Beau paused with his hand on the doorknob, then turned it and walked inside.
Fozzie looked fearfully at Gonzo. “What now?” he said.
The Snowman struggled to a standing position. Water trickled down his body, and dripped onto the hard carpet. “It seemed the world was a harsher place without Kermit…” he said. “Much harsher.” He slumped forward.
Gonzo tried to help him. The door opened and the chief stepped out of his office. His uniform was neatly cut, and speck free. A smart black cap was low on his forehead, and covered his toupee. The chief watched Gonzo and Fozzie over his snout. “Is it true you are leaving?” the pig asked, crossing his gloved hands together.
Fozzie shivered, and drew back. Gonzo looked the pig in the eye. “We were,” he said.
Beauregard emerged from the office and stood behind the chief’s right shoulder. “Beauregard,” the chief said. “That snowman is running on the new flooring.”
“Ri-ght, Captain Link,” Beau said. “I don’t think he’s feeling that hot, right now.”
“I
am hot,” the snowman moaned. “I’m melting…”
A second police officer joined Link and Beau. “Why diggerdy dog,” the pig said. “Has someone iced Frosty?” The pig’s eyes glittered at his little joke from behind small glasses.
“I think he’s just resting,” Beau said.
“I agree,” Link said. “But he wasn’t here because he of being iced in a homicide, he’s just here for, Beauregard, why is he here?”
Beau frowned. “He’s not just here. He’s been here a while already. These three were just leaving,” he said, shaking his head.
“I see, I see,” said the second pig. “You better tell the to dress up tight. It’s nippy out tonight.”
“Good idea, Sergeant Stragepork,” Link said. He turned to Gonzo and Fozzie. “You better bundle up warm, it’s cold outside.”
“Thanks, er…” Gonzo said.
Fozzie stepped up to the desk. “Thank you,” he said. “Thanks so much.”
Beauregard’s eyes met Fozzie’s. Beau smiled very slightly. “You’re welcome,” he said.
/\ \/ /\ \/ /\ \/
Empty police cars were scattered throughout the car park in front of the station. They hurried the snowman down the steps, and across the gravel towards the exit. “Oh thank you,” the snowman said. “Thank you…Kermit would…be proud...”
A light feathering of snow began to fall, gently dusting Fozzie’s fur, and Gonzo’s nose.
“Can I rest a minute,” the snowman wheezed. “Just a minute.”
Gonzo shot a glance back at the station. “Alright,” he said. “One.”
They laid the snowman down, and he gazed up at the sky peacefully. “That snow sure feels good,” he said.
Gonzo crouched beside him. “Can we talk?” he said.
“Not can, we must talk.” The snowman coughed, and spluttered. Then breathed deeply. “What can I…what can I help you with young man?”
Fozzie paced the car park. His feet left prints as icey snow crunched underfoot. Gonzo checked he wasn’t in listening range, then spoke quietly and quickly. “It’s about Kermit,” Gonzo said. “Who is he?”
“He’s- Look out!”
The double-beam of headlights strobed, cutting across the dark night as a car pulled into the carpark. It was driving fast. Too dark to see the driver, all Gonzo knew was that it was headed straight for him. And Frosty. The driver put his foot down. The car leapt forward. Gonzo shut his eyes. Something slammed into his side and kicked him across the way, landing face down in the snow. It was Fozzie.
“Gonzo!” Fozzie pulled him to his feet. The car reached the end of the car park, and turned back for another go. The engine revved.
“Frosty,” Gonzo said, but the snowman was gone. There was no trace of him.
Vroom, vroom.
Gonzo cut his eyes from the snow, to the car, to the row of parked police cars. “We gotta get out of here,” he said. He grabbed Fozzie’s hand, and ran for the nearest car.
Fozzie had a key-blade in his hand before he reached the police car, and had it open in seconds. He leapt inside, and fell across into the passenger seat. Gonzo took the controls. Fozzie started the engine with another tool of his. They heard the roar of a motor. Gonzo slammed the car into gear, and it jumped out of the parking space into the lot, it’s rear to the exit.
The first car raced towards them. Gonzo changed to reverse, and the car sped out the exit onto the road. “You may want to strap in,” he told Fozzie.
“Why?” Fozzie asked.
Gonzo didn’t answer. He hit the gas.
Welcome to the Muppet Central Forum!
Jim Henson Idea Man
Back to the Rock Season 2
Bear arrives on Disney+
Sam and Friends Book
But I had know idea Strangepork would be there! Great job Beau. Oh and I loved the Pepe wanted poster.
