Fan-Fic: Sometimes It's Better To Go

[TogetherAgain]

HA! Those are some of the best quotees (I don't know how to spell it either) EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so very much looking forward to the next chapter, prawncracker, you have no idea... okay maybe you do have an idea, but you have no idea... er, wait...

 

[Beauregard]

Dindcha know that at one point not so long ago I used to edit everyone's names like that. Terrably funn. I once called Beebers, "Bebebebebers"

BTW, I know I already told you I loved it on MSN, but, here's another "I loved it" for you in this thread. Ok. Wait for it...here: "I loved it!"

 

[theprawncracker]

(Sorry about not getting the other chapter posted last night guys. MC didn't work. But here it is...)

Chapter 14: I Don't Know Just When

Anikan's lightsaber twirled onto his master's blade. Obi-wan parried and flipped. He landed on his feet on the platform above the red hot lava.

"You were the chosen one!" He cried.

Pepe sat watching the film. It didn't make sense. And the only remotely pretty lady was already pregnant.

"Psst. Sam." He whispered.

She took a sip of her soda and turned to the prawn. "Yeah?" She asked him.

"What do jew say we ditch dis and head over to 'De Wedding Crashers'? Hokay?"

"Why not?" She sighed. This was the third time they'd switched movies. First "The Brother's Grimm" was to scary. Then "March of the Penguins" was to cold. "Any special reason why?" she asked as they left the theater.

"Si, no hot ladies. Hokay?" They hid behind a trash can as an usher walked by.

"Is that all you ever think about?" She asked. They slipped into the theatre and took their seats.

"No, of course not! Hokay? I think about loads of other stuff. Like...um...jacuzzis. Hokay? And de occasional massage, but jew know, not to often."

"So, Pepe, you never told me why you were here. I mean, why you decided to go to high school here. In Carbondale."

"Shhh, shh, shh!" He told her. "De movie's starting! Hokay?"

Sam sighed. "Ok, never mind."

"Alright guys. Come on in." Ryan told the band as he flipped a light switch on.

"This is it?" Dr. Teeth asked.

"Yeah, I told you I was in a duplex. What did you expect?"

"Man, I expected a place to sleep!" Floyd told him.

"Oh don't worry, I've got somewhere for ya." He walked the band into his room and opened his closet. "See," he said. "Right here, a place for all five of ya."

The band stared blankly at the five droor dresser. Janice was the first to speak up.

"Like how do you expect us to sleep in there?" She asked.

"CRAMPED, CRAMPED!!!" Animal yelled.

"Well you don't expect to sleep in my bed do ya?" Ryan asked them.

"Man I can sleep anywhere." Zoot said.

"Ok then it's settled." Ryan told them. "You guys can cover up with whatever clothes are in there.

"Great." Dr. Teeth sighed. "Thanks Ryan." He said seriously. "You've really helped us."

"No problem Dr. Teeth. Anything for my favorite band."

"You sure your mom and pops won't mind?" Floyd asked.

"Naw, they won't care. It's just five more mouths to feed."

"That depends on how you classify Animal." Floyd laughed.

"Wait 'til I tell Beau, Vibs, Tabi, and Liam about this!" Ryan said rushing over to his computer and logging onto the internet.

"Like what are you doin' Ryan?" Janice asked.

"I'm gonna tell everyone on Muppet Central about you guys splitting up." Ryan began to type.

"You think they can help us?" Dr. Teeth asked.

"Maybe not all of you. But, maybe if they see anyone in their area they can help in someway." He continued to type.

"Man this is a great thing you're doin' for us." Floyd said.

Ryan stopped typing and turned around. "I've got no other choice." He smiled.

The band all grinned. They were in good hands.

Uncle Deadly walked into the empty theater. "Good." He mumbled. "They've gone."

He walked backstage. He was almost taken aback by its emptiness. "Just isn't right." He said. "It's just not fair." He slammed his fist onto Kermit's desk. He began to cry. "Not fair!" He yelled.

He knew what he had to do. He had to get the Muppets back. He just had to. They were his family. The only family he'd ever had. And he had to get them back.

Rowlf sat in the cage. How could this had happened to him? He just kicked a wall. He had no idea the old woman would call the dog catcher. And he had never had a use for tags until now. Was this it for him? It couldn't be. He thought to himself.

The van came to a stop and the doors behind him came open. The dog catcher grabbed his cage and took him inside. All around Rowlf dogs howled. they moaned and groaned. This was truly *please pardon my French* ****. The man threw Rowlf into a larger cage.

"Hey, where's my food?" Rowlf asked the man.

"Shut up dog!" He yelled and kicked the cage. Rowlf flew back. Never before had he felt so alone.

Kermit came to. He realized he was tied to a chair. Again. A dim light shone above his head. The rest of the small room was pitch black. "At least Lloyd Galt had the decency to turn some lights on." He mumbled.

Why? He thought. He didn't even get a chance to see who hit him. But whoever it was, they had the deed. Kermit had no idea what to do. He had no way out. And no way to get to anyone. He decided to do what he always does when something like this happens. He began to sing.

"A song from Kermit,
To wish you well,
To say I hope you're feeling absolutely swell.
A song form Kermit,
To send you cheer,
To say I miss you and I wish that you were here.

It may sound kind of croaky
Like it's not the song for you.
But with every note
There's a lump in my throat,
So I hope you're listening to.

A song from Kermit,
To let you see,
I hope we'll always be as close as we can be!
And if you like my song from Kermit,
Maybe you'll like me!

La da da de de. La da da do

I hope we'll always be as close as we can be!
And if you like my song from Kermit,
Maybe you'll like me!"
A voice arose from the corner of the room. "I like you. And your song." The voice said.

It was raspy. And feminine. It sounded as if the body it came from went some sort of torture. Yet, it was familiar. "Piggy?" Kermit asked.

"Yes frog of my heart. It is moi." She said.

"What are you doing here?!?" He asked.

"Moi was taken. By that horrible Bryant man. He interrogated me. But I wouldn't tell him Kermie! I just wouldn't!"

"Tell him what Piggy?"

She began to cry. Kermit could not see it. But he knew. "He wanted to know where the deed was. I knew that Uncle Deadly had it. But I wouldn't tell him! Then...then...he tied me up! And I overheard him saying that he was going back for him! But he got you instead!"

"Oh Piggy." Kermit sighed. Never before had he wanted to hug her more than at this moment. "It'll all be ok Piggy. Don't worry. It'll all be ok."

She wanted to believe him. But, she couldn't. She just couldn't.

The door in front of the duo opened. It let light into the room. Kermit saw his porcine princess. She was not looking well at all. But, she wasn't beaten, just depressed. Terribly, terribly, depressed.

 

[Beauregard]

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I think that says it all...

 

[redBoobergurl]

WOW.....Again I feel speechless. There were so many references I think I lost count! I know you're in this chapter and I love how you were like "wait till I tell Beau, Vibs, Tabi and Liam about this. And how you said all the Muppet Central people would help. That was awesome! And I loved the reference to Lisa's Lloyd Galt character. And poor Rowlf! I love Rowlf very much and it's sad to see him in a dog pound! Oh and Kermit, it's so sad, and I feel so bad for Piggy, but I'm also glad they're reunited. Lots going on in this chapter Ryan, it's just so good.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Woah, I'm shaking... and I know why, too... to quote my favorite pig, "I am playing 800 different emotions!" Except that I'm not playing them, I'm feeling them......

First of all. You are awesome. I love how all of us are real, and the Muppets are equally real, and our stories are equally real! It is SOOOOO incredibly AWESOME! You get a hug for that, right here, <hug!>

<deep breath> I feel better now.

Let's go in order then, shall we. Pepe's date with Sam is just getting funnier and funnier. I especially like that they walked out of Star Wars. Makes me feel better than I've never seen a star wars movie... <blink> yes, you read that right.

Now then. The Electric Mayhem sleeping in a dresser in your closet. <turns around and looks at closet in room> Man, I hope your closet's bigger than mine... But they've got a place to sleep. They have a roof over their heads, and food to eat, (now why would your parents mind feeding five more mouths? I mean, especially Animal...) and they're in good hands. Now quickly, tell everybody on MC! Hurry! Now! ...oh, wait, you did already... sorry, I feel a little out of the cyber-loop on my park bench. Not that I mind, I mean come on, I'm hanging out with Fozzie! ...um, but anyway.

Uncle Deadly. Aw, Uncle Deadly. I just wanna... oh, I wanna give him a hug! He misses his family. <grabs heart, tears it out, throws it on the ground>. And he has to get them back. And something tells me- he will.

<picks heart up and puts back in chest.> Sorry, but I need that.

Rowlf... <sniff> oh Rowlf. I wanna give him a hug, too. Okay, so wanna give everyone a hug, but that's beside the point! Rowlf does not belong in a cage. Not at all. <grumbles> stupid dog catcher dude locking up my Rowlf...

<checks that heart is still in chest.> Oh good. This is about where I'll need it.

Kermit. Oy, Kermit... <hugs nearest green object, which happens to be the shirt I'm wearing... um, okay...> I have honestly been losing sleep over Kermit. Somehow, I had this feeling that he would wake up, and he wouldn't be on the roof, and he would be tied, and... <shiver> and then it all happened. And then you pulled out Lloyd Galt on me!!!! Man, talk about a curve ball! My thought process was like, "holy shnikes, we're with Kermit, oh this is bad... DANG IT I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!" I had to stop reading, laugh, try to read again, stop reading, and finish laughing! Because it was such a double joke. There's the humor from it being a reference, and then there's just the comedic quality of a line like "At least Lloyd Galt had the decency to turn some lights on" !! And that my friend, is where the above mentioned 800 emotions started adding up! ...and then once I got back to reading again, I thought, there's gotta be someone in there with him... and then you pulled out A Song from Kermit, and have I ever mentioned that I love that song, and I thought, yeah, there's someone in there, but I thought it would be a bad guy... and, dear lord, was I ever wrong... oh... Piggy... <rereads> oh........... <deep breath> She's not beaten. Thank goodness, they didn't beat her. ......but they did torture her. Emotionally. And... I think, maybe... that's worse... <silence.> <deep breath.> It'll all be okay, Piggy. Don't worry. It'll all be okay.

Now then, prawncracker... if you could kindly tell us who opened that door...

 

[theprawncracker]

Good Lord Lisa, that was awesome! I'm so happy you all liked this chapter! And good news, I only have math homework tonight! (well, that and a Spanish test that I know perfectly and don't need to study for.) So, expect the chapter around 6:00 central time.

 

[TogetherAgain]

<eyes bulge> You don't have a lot of homework, either?

OH, JOY! There will be fanfic-ing on this forum tonight! <giggle> You'll see...

 

[theprawncracker]

Chapter 15: No Feeling...

Clifford handed the trucker a bottle of beer. "Thanks man, come back anytime!" He told him.

"Thanks Mac." The trucker responded. He left and went to sit at a small round table.

In the background Johnny sang while Sal played a tambourine. Bobo gave everyone who walked in a full body check. "Never know who's a terrorist these days!" He told Clifford earlier.

"Yo Cliff!" Lisa called from the in front of the bar.

"Yeah man what's up?" He asked.

She walked up with an elderly woman and a man with curly brown hair behind her. "Meet my mom Jane, and my brother Brian."

"Nice to meet ya." He said and extended his hand.

Jane shook his hand. "Nice grip you got there. Do any handy work? Get it handy?"

Jane chuckled. "I used to be very handy." She said. "But now I'm just an old woman supporting my children."

"And that's why we love her." Brian said kissing his mother on the cheek.

Clifford nodded. What a nice family. He thought.

Family...His was gone now...and not coming back. He banished the thought immediatly. And returned to his work.


Once Sam had finished reading the document he couldn't stop shaking. "How..." He muttered.

"You say somethin' Sam?" Rizzo asked.

"No...yes...I..." Sam sputtered.

"What is it?" Beau asked. He put his mop in the bucket and walked to Sam's side.

"Disgraceful!" Sam cried, making Beau jump and Rizzo fall into the trash can.

"What on Earth could be that bad?" Rizzo said, heaving himself out of the can.

"Here," Sam said handing Beauregard the paper. "Just read it!"

Beau began to read, with Rizzo on his shoulder.

Dear Mr. President,

I have been trying to reach you for months. Do you realize how horrible your mail system is?!? But that is beside the point. I have a demand. I demand you use the power of eminent domain and evict the Muppets from their theater! On the charges that they are annoying things that play grandma and grandpa music! And jokes that are older than Cincinatti! They should be playing rap and telling dirty jokes about sex, drugs, and beer! Now, I know this may sound harsh, but believe me, if you do not accept my decision, you and those dirty Muppets will regret it! Believe me!

Sincerly,
Tyler Bryant


Dear Mr. Bryant,

Please, there is a reason why I have not returned your previous letters. They are harsh and immoral. The Muppets are a bountiful troupe of fun loving characters. They don't need to stoop to your level to make people laugh. They do it on their own. Please stop contacting me and go back to living your life.

Sincerly,
George W. Bush

President of the United States

"Whoa." Rizzo said.

"I know." Beau replied. "How could the president call us a bountiful troupe?"


Kermit watched as the tall figure of a man walked in to the dark room. He flipped a light swithch.

Kermit saw Tyler Bryant's face. He saw his dark brown curly hair. Kermit never had such burning anger toward someone more than at this moment.

"Hello frog." Tyler said.

"Bryant." Kermit responded. "How could you?" He asked. "You took Piggy! You scared her to death! You've ruined her! She's lost all of her radiant beauty!"

Miss Piggy was taken aback. He really did care for her.

Tyler let out a light chuckle. "It's fairly simple actually." He walked towards Kermit and put his hands on the arms of the chair. "I needed the deed to the theater. I didn't know where any of you freaks were. And it just so happened, that the pig got a job at my favorite coffee shop. So, I stalked her one night until she left, plucked her off the street and interagated the swine."

Piggy started crying. Kermit looked at her. She was hurt. Not on the outside. On the inside. Tyler Bryant had to be stopped.

"Oh," Tyler said. "And I forgot to mention, that I'm not really even an Eminent Domain officer. I'm a fake. You gave the keys to your theater to a fake. You frog, believed a fake."

Kermit's heart skipped a beat. He was a fake? But...he had the government documents...and the suit and...and...it all made sense now. He made Kermit believe it all. Kermit sighed. He sat against the chair. "You win Tyler. You win."

Piggy could not believe what she had just heard.

 

[TogetherAgain]

Dang you, prawncracker, for giving me a dose of my own medicine! A figure of a man... ugh, it's creepier when you're not the one writing it! And the letter, it just... wow. I- wow.
And Lisa, Brian, and Jane! Very cool.
And I love Beau's line about a bountiful troupe!
(heh, so much for going in order...)
And... and here's where you stabbed me.... it was right about.... here...

"Bryant." Kermit responded. "How could you?" He asked. "You took Piggy! You scared her to death! You've ruined her! She's lost all of her radiant beauty!"

Miss Piggy was taken aback. He really did care for her.

He really did care for her. <bang!> That's you shooting me. Right through the heart. And then you went and...

Tyler let out a light chuckle. "It's fairly simple actually." He walked towards Kermit and put his hands on the arms of the chair. "I needed the deed to the theater. I didn't know where any of you freaks were. And it just so happened, that the pig got a job at my favorite coffee shop. So, I stalked her one night until she left, plucked her off the street and interagated the swine."

<bang>, there's another shot. This guy's evil. This guy is beyond evil. Tyler is just... at least Lloyd Galt had the decency to turn some lights on! Ugh...

Piggy started crying. Kermit looked at her. She was hurt. Not on the outside. On the inside. Tyler Bryant had to be stopped.

"Oh," Tyler said. "And I forgot to mention, that I'm not really even an Eminent Domain officer. I'm a fake. You gave the keys to your theater to a fake. You frog, believed a fake."

<stab, stab, stab>... And I'm crazy enough to read this while it's raining...

Kermit's heart skipped a beat. He was a fake? But...he had the government documents...and the suit and...and...it all made sense now. He made Kermit believe it all. Kermit sighed. He sat against the chair. "You win Tyler. You win."

NO!!!!!! Oh, that's just twisting the knife, ow... TYLER BRYANT, IF I EVER GET MY HANDS ON YOU..........

Piggy could not believe what she had just heard.

And cue the tears...

prawncracker... oy, this is good. I mean, the events of the story are awful and heartwrenching, but the telling of it is beautiful. Keep it up, friend.