Fan Fic: Muppets Underwater: The Lost Muppet Movie

[minor muppetz]

I thought that today would be a good time to post a fan fic like this.

Prologue
Kermit comes to the audience and says,

"Hi ho, Kermit the Frog here. You know, earlier thisd ecade we Muppets made a movie called Muppets Underwater. At the time I thought it sounded like a good idea, but the movie was compelted and we were all too ashamed to release it. Fortunately at the time of production, there was a big press strike, so info on our film hadn't leaked to any of ghe major newspapers or tabloids, and oddly enough, info hadn't made it to the major Muppet fan sites like Muppet Central. I don't think Tough Pigs or The Muppet Newsflash were around yet, and Muppetzine had ended it's run. So even the most hardcore fans weren't even aware of it until recently.

But then Jason Segal pitched a movie script to Disney, and he was given the key to the Muppet vaults. He happened to find Muppets Underwater and talked about it to the press, as if everybody knew about it. And since then, uninformed fans kept writing and asking about this movie. Well, here it is. Muppets Underwater. You'll see why we hid it from the public."

Chapter 1

The movie takes place underwater. Kermit and Robin are themselves, while Fozzie is a starfish, Gonzo is a snake, and Miss Piggy is a mermaid. They are all enjoying underwater music.

"Well, this is what I like", said Kermit, "Underwater fun!"

"That's great, Kermit", said Fozzie, "But someday I'd like to be above the water".

"But if we went out of the water, would there still be eggs to eat?", asked Gonzo.

"Well, this water is fun", said Miss Piggy, "But I think I should sing."

"Oh, no", groaned everybody as Miss Piggy started singing a song.

Meanwhile, above the water was a ship, captained by Ryan Fisher, with his henchmen Polly Lobster, Pepe the Prawn, and Rizzo the Rat.

"Well, here we are", said Ryan Fisher, "Up here to catch some fish, and maybe also some frogs."

"And maybe a contract for me, okay", said Pepe.

"Now look, Pepe", said Ryan, "It's easy to catch fish, but I really need a frog. So I want you and Rizzo to dive down there and frognap some frogs, pronto!"

"Hey, no problem, okay", said Pepe, "As long as we still get paid, right?"

"Uh, right", said Ryan, not really meaning it.

"Well, let's get our scuba suits on and go down there!", said Rizzo.

"I get to go down there too, right?", asked Polly Lobster.

"You get to do nothing and like it!", said Ryan.

Meanwhile, back down in the water...

"Well, Kermie, are we going to have a pizza party?", asked Piggy.

"Pizza underwater is terrible", said Kermit.

Just then a big submarine went through their area. It was driven by Bunsen and Beaker, with many Muppet passengers, including Clifford, Scooter, Rowlf, Dr. Phil van Neuter, Lew Zealand, Mildred, George, and Nigel the director.

"And down here is the part of the water wehre the udnerwater life lives", said Bunsen.

"Mee mee mee", said Beaker.

"Oh, that's right", said Bunsen, "I forgot that this is where all the gold is."

"Wow, it looks very cool", said Clifford.

"Yeah", said Rowlf.

"I could go fishing down here", said Scooter.

"And I can whistle a happy tune!", said Dr. van Neuter, who started whistling.

"That's enough", said Clifford.

"Yeah", said Lew Zealand, "I got to throw my boomerang fish!"

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 2

Rizzo and Pepe were underwater, in scuba gear.

"I do not see any frogs, okay", said Pepe.

"I'm sure we'll find something", said Rizzo.

And they were right. Behind them was a shark, who chased after them.

Meanwhile, Kermit was grilling, despite being underwater.

"My oh my, this underwater waterproof grill is superb", saisd Kermit.
"yeah, yeah, just get the burgers ready son", said Miss Piggy.

"I've got soem cheese!", said Fozzie, who put the cheese on top of the grill.

As Rizzo and Pepe were swimming away from the shark, Rizzo smelled the cheese.

"Hey, Pepe, let's split up", said Rizzo who swam away before Pepe could respond.

"Oh, you dishonest rat, you", said Pepe.

Rizzo swam to the cook-out.

"Is that cheese I smell?", asked Rizzo.
"Yes, yes it is", said Gonzo.

"And is that a frog?", asked Rizzo.

"Yes, it is", said Gonzo.

"Hey, froggy", said Rizzo, "Why don't you come to a party above the water?"

"A party?", asked Kermit.

"Above the water?", asked Fozzie.

"Sounds cool", said Gonzo, who quickly swam towards surface.

They all swam to the surface.

"Hey, y'all", said Rizzo, "We should take a break. Just get into my giant safety net."
"Oh, how nice", said Robin.

Thye all swam into the net, and Rizzo went above the boat.

"Well, Mr. Fisher, I found some frogs and other creatures", said Rizzo.

"Good job, Rizzo", said Ryan.

"Yeah, we'll get what we want in no time!", said Poly Lobster, who reeled the net in.

"Hey, what's going on?", asked Kermit.

"it seems cool", said Gonzo.

"Hey, my hair is messing up", said Miss Piggy.

"By the way, where is Pepe?", asked Ryan.

Back into the water, Pepe was still running from the shark.

"Oh, you don't want to eat me, okay!", said Pepe.
"Yes, I do", said the shark, who quickly proc eeded to eat Pepe in one bite.

Pepe was inside the dark parts of the insides.

"My, it sure is dark okay", said Pepe, "I shall light a match, okay".

Pepe lit a match, and saw that the shark had eaten a lot of gunpowder. The shark exploded, and Pepe shot out of the wate,r landing in the boat.

"What a weird coincidence, okay!", said Pepe.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 3

The net was dragged to Ryan Fisher's factory.

"Polly, send them all to the cage!", said Ryan.

"Sure, boss!", said Polly Lobster.

Rizzo and Pepe followed them.

"I can't beleive you betrayed us", said Kermit to Rizzo.

"Hey, it's my job", said Rizzo.

"What are they going to do to us?", asked Robin.

"The boss is just going to make frogs legs, okay", said Pepe, as he locked the others into a cage.

"Then what am I needed for?", asked Fozzie.

"And moi", said Piggy.

"And me", said Gonzo.

"That's none of your buisness!", said an annoyed Polly.

"Guards, please guard them", said Rizzo.

"Okay", said Bobo.

"Wairt, it's my shift!", said Sweetums.

"No, it's my shift", said Bobo.

"No, it's my shift", said Sweetums.

Rizzo, Pepe, and Polly all headed to Ryan Fisher's office, where he was on the phone.

"Hello, Max, it's me, your uncle Ryan. I have successfully captured some frogs, and will have better luck than you ever will with your plays!"

Rizzo, Pepe, and Polly all entered the room.

"Well, the sea creatures are locked up, okay!", said Pepe.

"That's good, now do we have the pollution barrells?", asked Ryan.

"What do we need pollution barrells for?", asked Rizzo.

"I'm glad yyou asked", said Ryan, "Because we need to advance the plot. The secret reason for capturing some frogs and othe rsea creatures is because I am planning to pollute the water, and wanted to save some animals."..
"This does not sound good", said Rizzo.

"Hey!", said Ryan, holding a knife at Rizzo's neck, "You'd better not be turning into a good guy and considering warning them!"

"uh, I'm not", said Rizzo.

"Me neither, okay", said Pepe.

"That's a lot better", said Ryan, "Now leave the room. I need to prepare for the big banquete."

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 4

Rizzo, Pepe, and Polly were all in the hallway.

"Polluting the water?", said Pepe, "That is not good, okay!"

"I couldn't agree more, Pepe", said Rizzo.

"Well, I don't mind it at all", said Polly.

"What do you know?", asked Pepe, "You're just a lobster!"

"We've gott o warn the others", said Rizzo.

"Oh, no you don't!", said Polly, who proceeded to fight the two. Eventually, he trapped them both into a bag, and went to the dungeon.

"Lock these captives up, Bobo!", said Polly.

"Okay", said Bobo, who put them into the cage.

"Oh, it's you two", said Miss Piggy.
"Whata re you in here for?", asked Fozzie, "Rat-shrimping? Ahhhhh!"

"We're in here because we were planning on betraying the boss, okay", said Pepe.

"That sounds legit", said Bobo.

The lunch break whistle blew.

"Oh, it's time for my lunch break", said Bobo, "And Sweetums isn't here for his shift yet. Will you all promise not to try to escape?"
"We promise, okay!", said Pepe, with his fingers crossed behind his back.

Bobo left.

"Now, what is going on?", asked Kermit.

"At first, we were on his side", said Pepe, "But that was until we learend that ze boss was planning on polluting the water."

"oh, dear", said Fozzie.

'we were on his side", said Rizzo, "But we can only be so selfess."

"Well, we've got to find a way out of here", said Kermit. Gonzo, who I should remind you is portraying a snake, noticed that he could fit through the bars.

"hey, I'm free!", said Gonzo.

"Hey, maybe I cna fit through", said Robin.

And Robin could fit. So could Rizzo and Pepe.
"They sure didn't plan this out very well", said Rizzo.

"Now, will yuo all go find the keys and let us out of here?", asked Kermit.

"No need", said Miss Piggy, who karate chopped the door open.

"That worked out nicely", said Kermit.

They all ran out, except for Miss Piggy, who was unable to walk due to portraying a mermaid.

"Hey, I need a little help here!", screamed Piggy.

 

[Red Fraggle]

more more! this is so funny!

 

[Fluffets]

looks kinda cool, can't wait for more.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 5

They pulled Miss Piggy in a wagon.

"Man, this wagon sure is heavy to pull", said Robin.

"WATCH IT!", said Miss Piggy.

"I hope we can all find our way back soon", said Fozzie.

But just then, Sweetums, Mean Mama, Doglion, and the Mutations all showed up, holding swords.

"Hey, they're escaping!", shouted Sweetums.

"Let's stop them", said Doglion.

They all got out their swords.

"Oh, how exciting!", said Gonzo.

"We need something to fight with", said Kermit.

"I'll take care of this", said Miss Piggy, who jumped out of the wagon and bounced on her tail, karate chopping the monsters, and occassionally hitting them with her tail.

"It's working!", said Fozzie.

"Cowabunga!", said Gonzo.

A turtle appeared.

"Hey, that's my line", said the turtle.

"Hey, I know what else we can do, okay", said Pepe, who opened a gas can and threw it at the monsters. The monsters, and Miss Piggy, all fell asleep.

"Well, we can escape again, now", said Robin.

"Somebody has to get Piggy, though", said Fozzie.

Ryan Fisher was at the banquete room, preparing for the big banquete.

"Okay, I've got your barrells of toxic waste right here", said Beauregard, portraying a delivery man.

"Good, good", siad Ryan.

"Is there anything I can do?", asked Polly Lobste.r

"Oh course", said Ryan, "You can pinch people with your claws."

"Hey, we in the band don't understand the kind of music you want us to perform", said Floyd.

"Just read the music and perform it", said Ryan, "It's not like the songwriter is swedish.

"Ohh, bet I umm", said The Swedish CHef.

"Go back into the kitchen, and stop writing music", shouted Ryan.

Floyd faced the rest of the band.

"I do not think I am going to like this gig", said Floyd.

The rest of the band nodded in agreement.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 6

Kermit and the gang swam back into the water.

"We've got to figure out a way to warn the press", said Kermit.

"Well, se boss ees having a big ceremony tonight, okay", said Pepe, "The press will be there".

"But what if it's too late?", asked Fozzie.

"Oh, I know that he was planning to wait until after the ceremony to pollute", said Pepe.

"Wait a minute...", said Rizzo, "You were with me when we found out that..."

"I knew all along", said Pepe, "I just didn't get a concience until you did, okay!"

"Well, we've got to stop them", said Piggy.

"Uncle Kermit", said Robin, "I think we should stay here. After all, they do want to cook frogs legs."

Back in the building...

"Step aside, make way for Johnny Fiama!", shouted Sal.

"Oh, it's great to be singing tonight", said Johnny.

"And it's great to have you two performing at the banquete", said Ryan Fisher.

"Now, let's discuss payment", said Johnny.

"But you already signed a contract", said Ryan.

"I did?", asked Johnny.

"But I didn't", said Sal.

"uh, Sal", said Johnny, "You are not scheduled to sing."

"OH, oh, yeah", said Sal.

Sweetums ran to the room.

"Boss! Boss!", shouted Sweetums.

"Sweetums, isn't it your shift to guard those frogs?", asked Ryan.

"That's just it", said Sweetums, "They have escaped!"

"Well, then why didn't you stop them?", asked Sweetums.

"They defeated us!", said Sweetums.
"Oh....", said Ryan in annoyance, who then turned to Polly Lobster, "Polly!"

"Yes, captain!", said Polly.

"Go back to the water and find the sea creatures we caught!", said Ryan, "And you, Sweetums, go get the other monsters and search the building. They might not be back in the water."

"Now, about my perofrmance toonight....", said Johnny.

"Oh, shut up!", shouted Ryan.

"HUNGRY! HUNGRY!", shouted Animal.

Ryan grabbed Animal by his neck.

"You are supposed to be practicing with the band!", snapped Ryan.

"Saw-ry", groaned Animal.

"Oh, hey, Animal, get back to the rehearsal room", said Floyd.

"Yes, and bring Johnny Fiama and the monkey with you", said Ryan.

"MONk-KEE!", shouted Animal.

"Oh, no, you don't, said Sal, who punched Animal.. And then got attacked more badly by Animal.

 

[Red Fraggle]

**** this is so funny.

 

[minor muppetz]

Chapter 7

Kermit and the gang had gotten a big group of underwater creatures for a meeting.

"Okay, gang, I got bad news", said Kermit.

"Well, you've been a reporter before", said an alligator.

"Well, we were just captured", said Kermit, "And the people who kidnapped us plan to pollute our world".
OH, no!", said the others.

"We must all find a way to defeat the criminals", said Miss Piggy.

"Uh, they are not criminals yet", said Rizzo.

"Yeah, that'll be after they get arrested, okay", said Pepe.

"But we've got to stop them, and expose them at the big cermelony they are having", said Kermit.

"Oh, will they have food at the ceremony?", asked an octopus.

"They will", said Polly Lobster, unexpectedly, "And you'll be the food". Polly held a gun at them. Several generic lobsters were behind them.

"Oh no", said Fozzie.

"Let's kick some butts, okay!", said Pepe.

Miss Piggy swam up and karate-chopped Polly, causing the gun to fly off his claw and hit a rock, causing it to sshoot Polly. The othe rlobsters swam away.

"Oh, no", said Poly, "I've been shot!"

"You'll be okay", said Rizzo, "You're a Muppet".

"I'll take care of him", said Fozzie.

Fozzie put Polly into a small cage and locked the door.

"Okay, I'll call the underwater police squad", said Kermit, "And then we'll go try to stop them from polluting our habitat!"