evilhopscotch
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That's a working title. I bet I can make a better one.
This is a story I've been batting around for a while. Enjoy.
-----
“It’s an utter DISASTER, Kermit!!”
The famous frog looked up at the source of the angry outburst, mildly annoyed at the interruption. A very distressed Kira had stormed up to him, screenplay in hand. Kermit rubbed his temples. “Alright Kira, what’s wrong NOW?”
The female Gelfling put her hands on her skinny hips and frowned. “What’s wrong? What’s WRONG?!” She slammed the script on his desk. “They changed it AGAIN!! I don’t have to tell you that our movie has been delayed for over two months, and now they’re screwing with our script!!” He didn’t want to admit, but Kermit was slightly disturbed by the Gelflings; too close to human-looking for his likings. However, they were usually good to work with, and helping Jim put together the original Dark Crystal was still one of the frog’s fondest memories.
Still, all the delays on the sequel was pushing them to the brink of their patience.
“You tell Brian to make up his mind on our script, or we walk, got it?”
Kermit nodded feebly. “I’ll do what I can, Kira. Brian’s a bit swamped at the moment, but---“ She scowled at him again. Sighing, he held his head. “I’ll do what I can, I promise.” Satisfied for now, the Gelfling walked out of his office, leaving the frog to ponder what to do next.
There was so much going on now; it was hard to keep up. Part of him was ecstatic that things were finally picking up again, and part of him was reminded why he used to take Valium twice a day. Things hadn’t been this busy since the Great Muppet Caper had wrapped up production so many years ago. Two movies in the works, a possible mini-series, and the 38th season of Sesame street getting ready to debut at the start of the new year. Sighing again, Kermit looked over at the picture on his desk. Jim was staring out at him, smiling brightly with a lively twinkle in his eyes that the years hadn’t been able to dim. Every once in a while, Kermit would wonder if Jim was proud of the work that he’d done, or if he’d approve of Kermit’s direction of the others. They had all looked to him after Jim died, and when Richard Hunt died and Frank Oz left them, the Muppets had really reeled in shock. It had been up to Kermit to pull them all back together. Selling themselves to Disney hadn’t been his most popular decision, but Kermit had had no choice; they were really struggling, and Disney had promised to help. So far, nothing had really been accomplished, and Kermit was seriously wondering what the others were saying about him behind his back. Steve Whitmore kept trying to reassure him that he was a great leader, but he wasn’t sure anymore.
A slight knock on the door jarred him from his thoughts, and a strange thing entered the room, looking positively peeved. Kermit smiled, bemused. “Oh dear… Alright Gonzo, what’s wrong?”
Gonzo scowled. “I’ve HAD it Kermit. I’ve been patient, I’ve tried to be understanding, but I cannot STAND it anymore. Either the Fraggles move, or I do.” Kermit nodded. Of course. Through a strange mix-up, the Fraggles had ended in the room right next to Gonzo and Camilla, and they were, according to Camilla, been making so much noise and playing music at inappropriate times of the night, that Gonzo couldn’t handle it anymore. The self-proclaimed Whatever pounded his fist on the desk. “Last night, I found that three of them snuck into my room and put shaving cream all over my face!!”
“I thought you slept with shaving cream on your face anyway.”
“Well YEAH, but they used a cheap brand, Kermit!!” Gonzo sniffed indignantly. “I settle for nothing less than Madame Fancy’s face cream, and you KNOW it.”
Kermit rolled his eyes. “Look, I’ve talked to them, and they’ve agreed to move a couple doors down, but they NEED to be on your floor. It’s the closest we could get them to their movie set without having them actually LIVE on it. Besides, I had Gobo talk to the others, and he’s promised me that they would cool it on the shenanigans.”
“Well they’d better, or I’ll show them what shenanigans REALLY are.”
“Of course you will.” He smiled at Gonzo, who pulled a silly face and thumped Kermit soundly on the back before walking out.
“Well, with those taken care of, let’s see what I need to do today….” Looking over his schedule, he suddenly groaned. He had agreed to accompany Ernie and Bert to their interview on the Oprah show today. Kermit really REALLY didn’t want to go. It was nothing against Ernie and Bert, of course. It had everything to do with being so busy with other things. Sighing, he grabbed his coat and headed for the door.
Sesame Street owed him big-time…
---
“Now, the question on everyone’s lips is, of course, are you two actually…you know…”
Ernie looked over at Bert, who had made a face similar to someone who’d eaten an entire lemon. He wanted to laugh, but held himself back. “Oprah, you wouldn’t believe how often we get that question.”
“The answer, of course, is NO. No we are not.” Bert was obviously getting annoyed. “You know, just because two people share an apartment doesn’t mean there is more to our relationship besides friendship. I cannot believe that you would ask that, O---“
“Uh, what my friend is trying to say…” Ernie patted Bert’s shoulder reassuringly, “That when you see us sharing a room like that on the show, what you’re NOT seeing is that everyone else on the show bunks together too. Isn’t that right, Bert?”
He nodded, still frowning. “Yeah, it’s Telly and Baby Bear, Zoë and Rosita, Grover lives with his mom and grandma, Cookie monster and Herry, Oscar and Elmo---“
“That may change soon, actually.”
“---And all the humans live in the same building, so it’s not us.”
Oprah nodded. “I had no idea that it was set up that way on Sesame street. Thank you for illuminating this for us, Bert and Ernie.”
“It’s been a pleasure.”
---
“Bert, you really shouldn’t get so offended by that.”
“Don’t YOU get mad, Ernie?”
He shook his head. “Not really. So long as I know it’s not true, and YOU know it, I’m fine.” Ernie smiled. “Hey, try not to think about it. After all, we’ve got to focus on the new episode, right?”
His partner nodded, frowning. “Yeah, if they can ever get Grover and Elmo to work in the same place as each other without going at each other’s throats, and after last week, I seriously doubt that it’ll happen.”
Ernie sighed. “Trust me, if Kermit talks to them, they’ll be best friends within four minutes.”
“Not this time, Ernie.” Bert turned to him. “Elmo has really pushing Grover’s buttons, shoving his show in Grover’s face, and teasing him about the size of his paycheck. He didn’t stop last time Kermit talked to him, and he isn’t going to stop now.” He shook his head. “Elmo’s got the biggest ego on Sesame Street, and you know it.”
Ernie looked up at the sky. “Yeah, I know. That---That’s gotta change. It’s tearing our family apart.” He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he smiled over at Bert.
“Don’t worry, Ernie. Nothing can tear us apart.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
---------
This is a story I've been batting around for a while. Enjoy.
-----
“It’s an utter DISASTER, Kermit!!”
The famous frog looked up at the source of the angry outburst, mildly annoyed at the interruption. A very distressed Kira had stormed up to him, screenplay in hand. Kermit rubbed his temples. “Alright Kira, what’s wrong NOW?”
The female Gelfling put her hands on her skinny hips and frowned. “What’s wrong? What’s WRONG?!” She slammed the script on his desk. “They changed it AGAIN!! I don’t have to tell you that our movie has been delayed for over two months, and now they’re screwing with our script!!” He didn’t want to admit, but Kermit was slightly disturbed by the Gelflings; too close to human-looking for his likings. However, they were usually good to work with, and helping Jim put together the original Dark Crystal was still one of the frog’s fondest memories.
Still, all the delays on the sequel was pushing them to the brink of their patience.
“You tell Brian to make up his mind on our script, or we walk, got it?”
Kermit nodded feebly. “I’ll do what I can, Kira. Brian’s a bit swamped at the moment, but---“ She scowled at him again. Sighing, he held his head. “I’ll do what I can, I promise.” Satisfied for now, the Gelfling walked out of his office, leaving the frog to ponder what to do next.
There was so much going on now; it was hard to keep up. Part of him was ecstatic that things were finally picking up again, and part of him was reminded why he used to take Valium twice a day. Things hadn’t been this busy since the Great Muppet Caper had wrapped up production so many years ago. Two movies in the works, a possible mini-series, and the 38th season of Sesame street getting ready to debut at the start of the new year. Sighing again, Kermit looked over at the picture on his desk. Jim was staring out at him, smiling brightly with a lively twinkle in his eyes that the years hadn’t been able to dim. Every once in a while, Kermit would wonder if Jim was proud of the work that he’d done, or if he’d approve of Kermit’s direction of the others. They had all looked to him after Jim died, and when Richard Hunt died and Frank Oz left them, the Muppets had really reeled in shock. It had been up to Kermit to pull them all back together. Selling themselves to Disney hadn’t been his most popular decision, but Kermit had had no choice; they were really struggling, and Disney had promised to help. So far, nothing had really been accomplished, and Kermit was seriously wondering what the others were saying about him behind his back. Steve Whitmore kept trying to reassure him that he was a great leader, but he wasn’t sure anymore.
A slight knock on the door jarred him from his thoughts, and a strange thing entered the room, looking positively peeved. Kermit smiled, bemused. “Oh dear… Alright Gonzo, what’s wrong?”
Gonzo scowled. “I’ve HAD it Kermit. I’ve been patient, I’ve tried to be understanding, but I cannot STAND it anymore. Either the Fraggles move, or I do.” Kermit nodded. Of course. Through a strange mix-up, the Fraggles had ended in the room right next to Gonzo and Camilla, and they were, according to Camilla, been making so much noise and playing music at inappropriate times of the night, that Gonzo couldn’t handle it anymore. The self-proclaimed Whatever pounded his fist on the desk. “Last night, I found that three of them snuck into my room and put shaving cream all over my face!!”
“I thought you slept with shaving cream on your face anyway.”
“Well YEAH, but they used a cheap brand, Kermit!!” Gonzo sniffed indignantly. “I settle for nothing less than Madame Fancy’s face cream, and you KNOW it.”
Kermit rolled his eyes. “Look, I’ve talked to them, and they’ve agreed to move a couple doors down, but they NEED to be on your floor. It’s the closest we could get them to their movie set without having them actually LIVE on it. Besides, I had Gobo talk to the others, and he’s promised me that they would cool it on the shenanigans.”
“Well they’d better, or I’ll show them what shenanigans REALLY are.”
“Of course you will.” He smiled at Gonzo, who pulled a silly face and thumped Kermit soundly on the back before walking out.
“Well, with those taken care of, let’s see what I need to do today….” Looking over his schedule, he suddenly groaned. He had agreed to accompany Ernie and Bert to their interview on the Oprah show today. Kermit really REALLY didn’t want to go. It was nothing against Ernie and Bert, of course. It had everything to do with being so busy with other things. Sighing, he grabbed his coat and headed for the door.
Sesame Street owed him big-time…
---
“Now, the question on everyone’s lips is, of course, are you two actually…you know…”
Ernie looked over at Bert, who had made a face similar to someone who’d eaten an entire lemon. He wanted to laugh, but held himself back. “Oprah, you wouldn’t believe how often we get that question.”
“The answer, of course, is NO. No we are not.” Bert was obviously getting annoyed. “You know, just because two people share an apartment doesn’t mean there is more to our relationship besides friendship. I cannot believe that you would ask that, O---“
“Uh, what my friend is trying to say…” Ernie patted Bert’s shoulder reassuringly, “That when you see us sharing a room like that on the show, what you’re NOT seeing is that everyone else on the show bunks together too. Isn’t that right, Bert?”
He nodded, still frowning. “Yeah, it’s Telly and Baby Bear, Zoë and Rosita, Grover lives with his mom and grandma, Cookie monster and Herry, Oscar and Elmo---“
“That may change soon, actually.”
“---And all the humans live in the same building, so it’s not us.”
Oprah nodded. “I had no idea that it was set up that way on Sesame street. Thank you for illuminating this for us, Bert and Ernie.”
“It’s been a pleasure.”
---
“Bert, you really shouldn’t get so offended by that.”
“Don’t YOU get mad, Ernie?”
He shook his head. “Not really. So long as I know it’s not true, and YOU know it, I’m fine.” Ernie smiled. “Hey, try not to think about it. After all, we’ve got to focus on the new episode, right?”
His partner nodded, frowning. “Yeah, if they can ever get Grover and Elmo to work in the same place as each other without going at each other’s throats, and after last week, I seriously doubt that it’ll happen.”
Ernie sighed. “Trust me, if Kermit talks to them, they’ll be best friends within four minutes.”
“Not this time, Ernie.” Bert turned to him. “Elmo has really pushing Grover’s buttons, shoving his show in Grover’s face, and teasing him about the size of his paycheck. He didn’t stop last time Kermit talked to him, and he isn’t going to stop now.” He shook his head. “Elmo’s got the biggest ego on Sesame Street, and you know it.”
Ernie looked up at the sky. “Yeah, I know. That---That’s gotta change. It’s tearing our family apart.” He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he smiled over at Bert.
“Don’t worry, Ernie. Nothing can tear us apart.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
---------