Dealing with depression and anxiety

[DramaQueenMokey]

For the most part, since I started using my university's counseling services again, I have been doing pretty well. In fact, today, I got back the grade for my Comm paper that counted as an exam grade and got a perfect 100

But, then I heard from my mom that her day in court with my father went badly. The judge was in a bad mood to begin with and my father claims that I never granted him access to my university account to see the financial info when I did; he never accepted the conformation is what the problem is but, the judge sided with him and things are not looking well for us. I cannot stop crying and am having trouble focusing. I have my math final tomorrow at 7:30 AM and that's making me freak out on its own and I wasn't freaking out as much before I was upset but now I am...

I see my counselor on Thursday after my Comm exam which is helpful but I feel horrible as of now.

I am so done playing nice with my father's parents, I don't give two flying you know what's about that side of my family and my mother cannot force me to be nice anymore. I know that they have nothing to do with my father being a jerk and not wanting to pay my mother or myself money that is owed to us but, I don't care.

I just can't anymore...I'm over them completely and have had it officially.

Right now, I just want to focus on breathing normally again.

 

[Pinkflower7783]

So sorry dramaqueen your in my thoughts.

 

[charlietheowl]

I hope you're doing better this morning, it sounds like you had a very stressful time. Stinks that all this is going on during your finals.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

I hope you're doing better this morning, it sounds like you had a very stressful time. Stinks that all this is going on during your finals.

I'm doing worlds better now, I had my counseling session a little while ago and am in good spirits for the most part.

I'm done with finals and it's now technically my summer break.

 

[Bridget]

I think what has had me a bit depressed in my heart and mind lately, is if I am being a good enough friend to everyone. Money, clothing, housing, and all of the glitter in the entire world means absolutely nothing to me compared to good quality friendship. All I really ever worry about as of now is making sure that I treat everyone (friend or not) correctly and with care. I just want more than anything to leave the world having been a good person to all I've come in contact with. In my sleep and dreams I constantly picture how I could treat others better. I guess I've always been that way since I was a little girl.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

I am usually someone who everyone turns to for strength and support but, little do they know that I'm beaten and broken inside.

My father is causing problems for my mother and I again and he's claiming that I am a huge liar, a thief and that my mother is one as well when we've done nothing but be honest and have tried to be civil and just try to obtain what is rightfully mine which is money to fund my schooling.

Unfortunately, I live in a small town and there's a restaurant that my father's parents used to take me to and well, then my mother's parents ended up taking me there and since I know the owner, I introduced them and the owner loves them. Now, we've run into my father's there many times and it's awkward. I never want to go over and say hi but, my mother's parents insist that I go say hi only to keep up appearances and blah, blah, blah.

But, then my father has the gall to send my mother rude and condescending emails over the situation and that its awkward when I go over and talk to his parents because they only see me as a lying thief just like he does; I am not either of those things and it hurts that these people who are my so-called 'family' believe that. My father is the liar here and it's an entire mess.

Now, I got frustrated and I had to help my mom fill out some forms, and then I cried and said a lot of very bad things about my father and his parents. My mom got mad because I was crying and that I shouldn't give my jerk of a father the satisfaction of crying over him but, I can't help it. I am a very emotional person and I just can't turn that sort of thing off. Also, my mom got mad over the words I said regarding my father's family and then said that I shouldn't say those things because of something about religious beliefs...

I am not religious and I haven't been for a long time, I do not know if a deity of any kind exists and we don't go to a church of any kind yet, my mom loves playing the card that something bad will happen and I'll be punished; i don't agree with her beliefs so, she can't get to me but, the fact that she tries not to get me to say and or react the way I want to is appalling. I have my feelings, I am an adult and I am not going to change them for her sake. I hate those people and I don't religion.

I have been trying to stop crying for a while and it's really unsuccessful; I have been trying to watch funny things to get my mood up but, it hasn't been successful. I just wish all of this would stop plus, I have to go to court tomorrow and am just hurting so bad but, no one wants to hear it

I keep a fake smile on support and build others up and they have no idea I'm doing so bad. I am so sick and tired of this entire mess.

 

[charlietheowl]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this, no one should have to be put in a situation like that. It's understandable that you would get frustrated over your dad bothering you like that, and you shouldn't have to apologize to your mother for being upset over all this. Hopefully you were able to get some sleep last night and are doing better this morning.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this, no one should have to be put in a situation like that. It's understandable that you would get frustrated over your dad bothering you like that, and you shouldn't have to apologize to your mother for being upset over all this. Hopefully you were able to get some sleep last night and are doing better this morning.

Thank you <333 and well, unfortunately I barely got any sleep, the day was pretty rough but, I'm finally more or less relaxing now.

I can't change my situation but, I can semi-ignore it.

 

[Pinkflower7783]

All I can say is I'm so sorry your going through this...I hope things get better for you.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

All I can say is I'm so sorry your going through this...I hope things get better for you.

Thank you, I appreciate the kinds thoughts <3