Dealing with depression and anxiety

[MikaelaMuppet]

Yesterday, my college graduation festivities weren't horrible! My racist aunt wasn't there which made everything a lo easier to deal with; my boyfriend made me smile like crazy and him being there made my family members that I'm not so fond of easier to tolerate. I'm very lucky to have him.

I had a rough day today because a doctor's appointment I had Thursday got bumped up but, good news is: my new specialist is actually helpful and they're going to get to the bottom of what's wrong with me! I have to wait a bit of time but, the good news is, I only have to wait 6 months till I can drive again; two weeks ago I had a seizure that I was hospitalized for and well, I was freaked that I wouldn't be able to drive for a year and a half based on what the rude emergency room peeps yelled at me.

But again, things are looking up in that regard despite dealing with my mom's super rudeness for most of my day; just when I think I'm a-okay with her, she treats me like a piece of garbage again and reminds me: NOPE, YOU AREN'T LOVED!

My abuelos and boyfriend love me, so do my couple besties and that's more than enough. I'm taking anti-depressants officially and while I wish I could drink socially like I normally do, I'm a-okay with skipping the liquor for now.

Sending good vibes all around <3

Congratulations about graduating from college! I'm graduating myself in a month, but not from college though,

 

[newsmanfan]

Yesterday, my college graduation festivities weren't horrible! My racist aunt wasn't there which made everything a lo easier to deal with; my boyfriend made me smile like crazy and him being there made my family members that I'm not so fond of easier to tolerate. I'm very lucky to have him.

I had a rough day today because a doctor's appointment I had Thursday got bumped up but, good news is: my new specialist is actually helpful and they're going to get to the bottom of what's wrong with me! I have to wait a bit of time but, the good news is, I only have to wait 6 months till I can drive again; two weeks ago I had a seizure that I was hospitalized for and well, I was freaked that I wouldn't be able to drive for a year and a half based on what the rude emergency room peeps yelled at me.

But again, things are looking up in that regard despite dealing with my mom's super rudeness for most of my day; just when I think I'm a-okay with her, she treats me like a piece of garbage again and reminds me: NOPE, YOU AREN'T LOVED!

My abuelos and boyfriend love me, so do my couple besties and that's more than enough. I'm taking anti-depressants officially and while I wish I could drink socially like I normally do, I'm a-okay with skipping the liquor for now.

Sending good vibes all around <3

Hooray! Glad you're able to brush off the negativity from your mom and focus on the love and support of people who care for you. Keep that up!

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

I'm back with my boyfriend again.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

I got a diagnosis for the seizures I was having: Unfortunately, I am indeed, epileptic. Took so long to get it diagnosed properly because my mother chose to take the word of the crackpot neurologist the hospital I was taken to sent us to see.

But, good news: medicine is working very well and, my very best friend and my boyfriend both came to see me in hospital which, I will be forever thankful for

And, the minute I got out of the hospital: it was back to grad school work as usual. More on the unfortunate side: things have continued to be hectic since I left the hospital what with lots of grad school work, having been sleep-deprived while in the hospital and feeling the after-effects in the worst way possible.

I have grad midterms very soon and am in absolute panic mode. Now, I've been reading my chapters, watching my lectures, and filling out my study guide etc...but, I'm SO scared!!! Just the chronic worrier in me but, the seizure meds are helping my anxiety a bit.

Also, I still hate being a burden to everyone; I cannot drive my car until October because the law in my state says people who have seizures must wait 6 months to drive again. If I could work a part-time job, maybe I could get myself enough money to put down a deposit on a little place and maybe break away from my family (mostly my mom) a bit more.

Now, my mom is still dating an ultra-loser who she wastes all her spare cash on and it stinks that I'm pretending to turn a blind eye to it by accepting movie tickets from her using them with my boyfriend. But ehh, I'll take it I guess.

I have to go get my things out of my father's mother's house and well, I'm not looking forward to it. Sure, my best friend is going to be taking me as to not cause any problems etc...but, the main thing I wish would be there (my giant Rizzo plush, who was my transitional object aka toy I lugged around everywhere as a kid) won't be there

Just wish everything could be less stressful...I have yoga class tonight so, hopefully, that will help.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

I got a diagnosis for the seizures I was having: Unfortunately, I am indeed, epileptic. Took so long to get it diagnosed properly because my mother chose to take the word of the crackpot neurologist the hospital I was taken to sent us to see.

But, good news: medicine is working very well and, my very best friend and my boyfriend both came to see me in hospital which, I will be forever thankful for

And, the minute I got out of the hospital: it was back to grad school work as usual. More on the unfortunate side: things have continued to be hectic since I left the hospital what with lots of grad school work, having been sleep-deprived while in the hospital and feeling the after-effects in the worst way possible.

I have grad midterms very soon and am in absolute panic mode. Now, I've been reading my chapters, watching my lectures, and filling out my study guide etc...but, I'm SO scared!!! Just the chronic worrier in me but, the seizure meds are helping my anxiety a bit.

Also, I still hate being a burden to everyone; I cannot drive my car until October because the law in my state says people who have seizures must wait 6 months to drive again. If I could work a part-time job, maybe I could get myself enough money to put down a deposit on a little place and maybe break away from my family (mostly my mom) a bit more.

Now, my mom is still dating an ultra-loser who she wastes all her spare cash on and it stinks that I'm pretending to turn a blind eye to it by accepting movie tickets from her using them with my boyfriend. But ehh, I'll take it I guess.

I have to go get my things out of my father's mother's house and well, I'm not looking forward to it. Sure, my best friend is going to be taking me as to not cause any problems etc...but, the main thing I wish would be there (my giant Rizzo plush, who was my transitional object aka toy I lugged around everywhere as a kid) won't be there

Just wish everything could be less stressful...I have yoga class tonight so, hopefully, that will help.

Pity that all of these family issues have been happening for you...

 

[newsmanfan]

I got a diagnosis for the seizures I was having: Unfortunately, I am indeed, epileptic. Took so long to get it diagnosed properly because my mother chose to take the word of the crackpot neurologist the hospital I was taken to sent us to see.

But, good news: medicine is working very well and, my very best friend and my boyfriend both came to see me in hospital which, I will be forever thankful for

And, the minute I got out of the hospital: it was back to grad school work as usual. More on the unfortunate side: things have continued to be hectic since I left the hospital what with lots of grad school work, having been sleep-deprived while in the hospital and feeling the after-effects in the worst way possible.

I have grad midterms very soon and am in absolute panic mode. Now, I've been reading my chapters, watching my lectures, and filling out my study guide etc...but, I'm SO scared!!! Just the chronic worrier in me but, the seizure meds are helping my anxiety a bit.

Also, I still hate being a burden to everyone; I cannot drive my car until October because the law in my state says people who have seizures must wait 6 months to drive again. If I could work a part-time job, maybe I could get myself enough money to put down a deposit on a little place and maybe break away from my family (mostly my mom) a bit more.

Now, my mom is still dating an ultra-loser who she wastes all her spare cash on and it stinks that I'm pretending to turn a blind eye to it by accepting movie tickets from her using them with my boyfriend. But ehh, I'll take it I guess.

I have to go get my things out of my father's mother's house and well, I'm not looking forward to it. Sure, my best friend is going to be taking me as to not cause any problems etc...but, the main thing I wish would be there (my giant Rizzo plush, who was my transitional object aka toy I lugged around everywhere as a kid) won't be there

Just wish everything could be less stressful...I have yoga class tonight so, hopefully, that will help.

Glad you've been able to find treatment for the seizures. I know this sounds cliched, but just do your best on the grad exams, and walk away from anyone who stresses you when you're already dealing with so much. You WILL get through this!

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Bombed my midterm for my grad class and that put me at a low B grade; I messed up on another medium-impactful test just out of panicking and, now I can barely focus on my other junk because I'm so panicked and over here like: I AM SO SCARED TO FAIL (Which, I am )

My family toned down their meanness for a while when my mom expected to me type a nice resume for her abusive boyfriend simply because she asked me to. I told her no like 1000 times, showed her how to type on my Mac, gave back her 'blood money' as I called it. When I ended up having to type the stupid thing anyway because my abuela cried to me to do it. Now, my mom is a lot of not so good things but, that piece of garbage she dates is an abuser; I don't care that he doesn't put hands on her like my father did, emotional abuse is still abuse. And, then she gave me more 'blood money' -_-

I am going strong with my boyfriend who fully supports me and, even though I have his full support and all, my gloomy cloud of 'I'm scared to fail' is still floating over my head...

My horrible health forced me to go to school online for this master's and really my eternal mood seems to be: -hates most things- peace!

Maybe I'm more scared to fail because I bombed this class before my epilepsy was diagnosed and that just adds to the fear.



If anyone has any tips to get less scared and just get back to doing my stinking work for my class, that would really help.

*sending positive vibes to you all either way*

 

[fuzzygobo]

Don't let fear get the best of you.
You've come this far, don't let it stop you.

The worst thing that can happen, because people are afraid of failing, is they stop trying.
Bombing a midterm can be a setback, but it's not the end.

One thing that's really screwed up, and I know myself from my own experiences:
We have goals and dreams we want to accomplish. But there will always be negative people who will tell you "You can't do it". or "It won't work". People like that love to see you fail, so then they can say "See? I told you so". It only makes them feel good, not you. Don't give them the satisfaction.

I know it seems like a struggle now. Doing anything worthwhile usually is.
But your boyfriend has faith in you, we have faith in you, and you proved YOU have faith in you. Use that, lean on it, let that be your strength.

I'm sure I can pull out some appropriate scripture if you'd like.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Don't let fear get the best of you.
You've come this far, don't let it stop you.

The worst thing that can happen, because people are afraid of failing, is they stop trying.
Bombing a midterm can be a setback, but it's not the end.

One thing that's really screwed up, and I know myself from my own experiences:
We have goals and dreams we want to accomplish. But there will always be negative people who will tell you "You can't do it". or "It won't work". People like that love to see you fail, so then they can say "See? I told you so". It only makes them feel good, not you. Don't give them the satisfaction.

I know it seems like a struggle now. Doing anything worthwhile usually is.
But your boyfriend has faith in you, we have faith in you, and you proved YOU have faith in you. Use that, lean on it, let that be your strength.

I'm sure I can pull out some appropriate scripture if you'd like.

Thanks! I just really need to stop beating myself up about having failed; saying and realizing that is one thing but, actually doing it is another.

Rested with the remained of my day and my restorative yoga class helped

 

[ErinAardvark]

Depression sucks. I've been suffering from it for 12 years. I'm on daily medication, and I see a psychiatrist and a therapist once a month, and that helps a lot. I still get into these deep blue funks every now and again though, for no discernable reason (mostly when the whether changes, or during a certain time of the month that women deal with, which I also hate). I've been in quite a deep blue funk all of this week (except this time, there *is* a discernable reason for it), but it won't always be this way. As my Mom says, "this, too, shall pass." I have no idea who she's quoting, though.