Dealing with depression and anxiety

[MikaelaMuppet]

Today, the COO of the entire company (and I work for a global company, with offices in several countries) will be breathing down my neck for an hour and a half, shadowing me on calls and seeing what I do. Though a small part of me is all Yo, Back Office, represent!, the rest of me is very worried.

I've been told this brass is a nice guy, and to be fair I have already met and worked with a couple of them who are actually decent AND efficient, but all my gruntles are very dissed right now.

Ho, boy. You know you don't wanna diss them off!
Si si, hokay...the gruntles are muy mal.

Send me good thoughts around 10:15 central time, hey guys?

Sending you good wishes from New Hampshire!

 

[fuzzygobo]

Today, the COO of the entire company (and I work for a global company, with offices in several countries) will be breathing down my neck for an hour and a half, shadowing me on calls and seeing what I do. Though a small part of me is all Yo, Back Office, represent!, the rest of me is very worried.

I've been told this brass is a nice guy, and to be fair I have already met and worked with a couple of them who are actually decent AND efficient, but all my gruntles are very dissed right now.

Ho, boy. You know you don't wanna diss them off!
Si si, hokay...the gruntles are muy mal.

Send me good thoughts around 10:15 central time, hey guys?

Good thoughts from Noo Joisey. Included is a Taylor Ham, egg and cheese on a bagel, with a Yoo-hoo to wash it down. From the heart of Soprano-Land.

 

[newsmanfan]

Thanks, you guys!

It actually went okay...the COO (AND Executive VP, yeeek) sat with me for maybe half an hour, and I explained to him what I do, and he watched me do some of it and listened in on a few calls. He seemed polite and non-judging, so hopefully I came off all right.

Then yesterday evening I attended an orientation at the community garden and found out which plot will be ours to plant veggies in; it's a decent size (20x25 feet) and even has some raised beds left by the previous owner! I spent a couple hours clearing weeds, which was tiring but satisfying.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Not in a great place right now; I failed my first graduate class and have to retake it over the summer and thus push back all of my other planned classes. My nerve therapist suggested putting me on an anti-depressant to which my mom is just being negative and saying 'only drug addicts need those' -_- Just when I thought I was getting over hating her...

I am feeling even more useless and, my therapist along with a handful of friends, my boyfriend, and my abuelos don't want me feeling this way and, while in reality, I know that I did finish my undergraduate degree early which is kind of a big deal and I'll make it through that graduate class with a better grade but, I can't help but feel like a loser.

Plus, I'm not excited for my graduation dinner which I said 1000 times and only today did my stupid mom listen -_- But, we can't cancel it because my uncle already spoke to his restaurant owner friend who is giving us a big discount anyhow...And not to mention, my boyfriend put in a vacation day at his 'grown up job' and, I'm not gonna let that go to waste. And, save for my abuelos, I certainly don't feel loved by my family which, my mom took offense to (no surprise there) and yelled at me for. Again, why am I going to love people who used to laugh that I'd never speak English and just envy me because their kids can't speak Spanish!? And, I don't want my racist aunt there, she will say something nasty about my boyfriend and my 2 friends coming (they're all black) and, she'll make a nasty comment over why all my friends are black D< Doesn't matter what color they are, they're some of the few people out there who don't judge me and call me a hoodrat just because of where I grew up and or over the fact that I speak Spanish. Now, my whole thing is like, if you're gonna say something nasty, SAY IT TO MY FACE, whereas, she'll mumble it under her breath and or tell my abuela and then I'll hear about it later.

I just uggggh...And, my boyfriend was at work and I'm not sure he got a Saturday ticket for NYCC this year while I did

That just added to my bad mood and, I wish things were easier.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Not in a great place right now; I failed my first graduate class and have to retake it over the summer and thus push back all of my other planned classes. My nerve therapist suggested putting me on an anti-depressant to which my mom is just being negative and saying 'only drug addicts need those' -_- Just when I thought I was getting over hating her...

I am feeling even more useless and, my therapist along with a handful of friends, my boyfriend, and my abuelos don't want me feeling this way and, while in reality, I know that I did finish my undergraduate degree early which is kind of a big deal and I'll make it through that graduate class with a better grade but, I can't help but feel like a loser.

Plus, I'm not excited for my graduation dinner which I said 1000 times and only today did my stupid mom listen -_- But, we can't cancel it because my uncle already spoke to his restaurant owner friend who is giving us a big discount anyhow...And not to mention, my boyfriend put in a vacation day at his 'grown up job' and, I'm not gonna let that go to waste. And, save for my abuelos, I certainly don't feel loved by my family which, my mom took offense to (no surprise there) and yelled at me for. Again, why am I going to love people who used to laugh that I'd never speak English and just envy me because their kids can't speak Spanish!? And, I don't want my racist aunt there, she will say something nasty about my boyfriend and my 2 friends coming (they're all black) and, she'll make a nasty comment over why all my friends are black D< Doesn't matter what color they are, they're some of the few people out there who don't judge me and call me a hoodrat just because of where I grew up and or over the fact that I speak Spanish. Now, my whole thing is like, if you're gonna say something nasty, SAY IT TO MY FACE, whereas, she'll mumble it under her breath and or tell my abuela and then I'll hear about it later.

I just uggggh...And, my boyfriend was at work and I'm not sure he got a Saturday ticket for NYCC this year while I did

That just added to my bad mood and, I wish things were easier.

Oh boy. I bet all of that must be so hard and rough for you right now. But I give you good wishes, good vibes, and luck.

 

[newsmanfan]

Not in a great place right now; I failed my first graduate class and have to retake it over the summer and thus push back all of my other planned classes. My nerve therapist suggested putting me on an anti-depressant to which my mom is just being negative and saying 'only drug addicts need those' -_- Just when I thought I was getting over hating her...

I am feeling even more useless and, my therapist along with a handful of friends, my boyfriend, and my abuelos don't want me feeling this way and, while in reality, I know that I did finish my undergraduate degree early which is kind of a big deal and I'll make it through that graduate class with a better grade but, I can't help but feel like a loser.

Plus, I'm not excited for my graduation dinner which I said 1000 times and only today did my stupid mom listen -_- But, we can't cancel it because my uncle already spoke to his restaurant owner friend who is giving us a big discount anyhow...And not to mention, my boyfriend put in a vacation day at his 'grown up job' and, I'm not gonna let that go to waste. And, save for my abuelos, I certainly don't feel loved by my family which, my mom took offense to (no surprise there) and yelled at me for. Again, why am I going to love people who used to laugh that I'd never speak English and just envy me because their kids can't speak Spanish!? And, I don't want my racist aunt there, she will say something nasty about my boyfriend and my 2 friends coming (they're all black) and, she'll make a nasty comment over why all my friends are black D< Doesn't matter what color they are, they're some of the few people out there who don't judge me and call me a hoodrat just because of where I grew up and or over the fact that I speak Spanish. Now, my whole thing is like, if you're gonna say something nasty, SAY IT TO MY FACE, whereas, she'll mumble it under her breath and or tell my abuela and then I'll hear about it later.

I just uggggh...And, my boyfriend was at work and I'm not sure he got a Saturday ticket for NYCC this year while I did

That just added to my bad mood and, I wish things were easier.

Much as much of that sucks, at least you have your sweetie, your friends, and your abuelos who all support, respect, and love you. Try to attune yourself more to them and just shut out anyone who doesn't treat you well...family or not!

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Had a bad seizure today and was hospitalized; I'm home now but, I love how my mom decided to scold me for it and acts as if I 'summon' my seizures and want them to happen -_- (please note the sarcasm)

I NEVER know when one is going to hit; I AM NOT AT FAULT!!!!

Again, I hate my parents more and more each day. I know I keep saying this but, it just hits me in the face harder and harder as the days pass but: My parents are the same; they would rather waste time on the drug addict losers they've chosen as significant others (and just don't care what happens to their daughter. Sure, I haven't spoken to my dad in like 5 years but, still. The similarities between him and my mom are ridiculous and I cannot wait until I finish my master's and can get the heck outta dodge.

I yelled at my mom several times over not telling me to calm down and how it doesn't help; so did my Abuelo, Abuela, two of my mom's younger siblings (one of my aunts and one of my uncles) and even my God Mother (my one uncle's wife lol) yelled at her for it!!!!

IT DOES NOT HELP; I have a degree in communication studies, one of the first things I learned with that degree was 'It's not necessarily what you say, it's HOW you're saying it' which my mom misses completely.

But like, seriously, you're not helping anxious people or depressed people by telling them to calm down so, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SHE TELL HER SEVERELY DEPRESSED DAUGHTER WITH ANXIETY TO CALM DOWN AFTER A SEIZURE WHEN SHE [me] DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO HAVE ONE!?

While I'm aware that 'hate'/hateful feelings don't really help, I hate my mom and that's not changing. I hate my dad too but, what else is new?

I just wish everything would be better and well, this is more of why I don't believe in a higher power but, that's a conversation for another time/place/etc.

Regardless, hope you're all in better shape than I am.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

Had a bad seizure today and was hospitalized; I'm home now but, I love how my mom decided to scold me for it and acts as if I 'summon' my seizures and want them to happen -_- (please note the sarcasm)

I NEVER know when one is going to hit; I AM NOT AT FAULT!!!!

Again, I hate my parents more and more each day. I know I keep saying this but, it just hits me in the face harder and harder as the days pass but: My parents are the same; they would rather waste time on the drug addict losers they've chosen as significant others (and just don't care what happens to their daughter. Sure, I haven't spoken to my dad in like 5 years but, still. The similarities between him and my mom are ridiculous and I cannot wait until I finish my master's and can get the heck outta dodge.

I yelled at my mom several times over not telling me to calm down and how it doesn't help; so did my Abuelo, Abuela, two of my mom's younger siblings (one of my aunts and one of my uncles) and even my God Mother (my one uncle's wife lol) yelled at her for it!!!!

IT DOES NOT HELP; I have a degree in communication studies, one of the first things I learned with that degree was 'It's not necessarily what you say, it's HOW you're saying it' which my mom misses completely.

But like, seriously, you're not helping anxious people or depressed people by telling them to calm down so, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SHE TELL HER SEVERELY DEPRESSED DAUGHTER WITH ANXIETY TO CALM DOWN AFTER A SEIZURE WHEN SHE [me] DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO HAVE ONE!?

While I'm aware that 'hate'/hateful feelings don't really help, I hate my mom and that's not changing. I hate my dad too but, what else is new?

I just wish everything would be better and well, this is more of why I don't believe in a higher power but, that's a conversation for another time/place/etc.

Regardless, hope you're all in better shape than I am.

Oh no... That's terrible.

 

[MikaelaMuppet]

I am really anxious to ask my teacher a very important question tomorrow morning when I get to school and I don't know why. According to what she said about "her dad" yesterday, and the aides giving her a hug today, I fear that something may have happened to him. Either he got sick or just died.

 

[newsmanfan]

I am really anxious to ask my teacher a very important question tomorrow morning when I get to school and I don't know why. According to what she said about "her dad" yesterday, and the aides giving her a hug today, I fear that something may have happened to him. Either he got sick or just died.

That's good that you're supportive of your teacher, though. I'm sure she appreciates everyone who's offered a hug or a sympathetic word.