I don't realize why you're so offended by that. It's not that I don't want anyone trying to reach out, I do appreciate that. Very much so.
I have too many problems to deal with and no one wants to give me any direct help. I cannot blame any of you, mind you. I'm referring to people much closer to me who have given me nothing but advice that didn't go anywhere and weren't in the position to give me actual help. And I mean physical help. Really sticking their necks out for me. No. Just "Go to website" "Go to website" only to hear absolutely nothing for years at a time. So I try things out on my own, and no one looks at them. Fine.
I was kinda okay with being that one guy who everything is a constant struggle. I'm fine with the fact that no matter what application to whatever place I've applied to goes straight in the trash the second I leave the store, only for them to hire their drinking buddies what held their hair back when they were barfing up their Jagermeister.
It's just...
When sh** happens to you in middle and high school, it sure as sh** should die like a bad internet meme and not hang around 20 ******g years later. I'm in my freaking mid-30's. Nothing's going right, I can handle. Bringing me back to the worst time in my life for a cheap drive by drunken joke? What's the point?
I can stand being a little angry, I can stand being completely frustrated. I can't take, however, every negative emotion lurking around the corner. Especially when it comes to the immaturity of Axe Spray huffing, Moutain Dew swilling buttcracks who want a cheap laugh at the expense of someone who, I'll admit it, life took a huge dump on.
Still, if you feel like I'm dumping on you for giving me the standard "it gets betters," or "I hope you feel better soons," or the like, I'm not. I'm just saying I know you'll try and I really appreciate it. But in the end, there are things I have to deal with, yet... the last straw was a good thousand tons of straw ago. It's not so much the depression has won so much as its a sore winner playing an arcade game that just looped the 999999999 score that the machine can display furiously.