Dealing with depression and anxiety

[charlietheowl]

I know this is a little late but someone gave me some advice for how to talk to someone when you need to break something like that to them. The idea was that you sandwich your desire in between two things you can do instead or in essence two consessions that you can give, that way it's less likely to put somoeone on the defensive.

That's an interesting strategy. I've found it's a good idea to explain potential concessions or alternatives when breaking potentially tough things to people.

 

[RedPiggy]

I've been having some issues this week. I think a lot of it is just exhaustion from struggling to breathe so often. However, some things happened on the 'net that really irritated me, but it convinced me I was right to stop dealing with that stuff long ago. It was just so out of the blue, so unexpected ... and the brief convos I had about it were almost maddening. I don't know if I was really upset for feeling so mistreated or upset that I still get upset over something I know will never change.

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

I would hazard a guess that it's a little of both. Just because something keeps happening and doesn't change doesn't make it any less upsetting. I kinda with more people would understand that. This isn't targeted at you, more the people who think it's okay becaus eyou can just get over it.

Sorry about what's happening. Is there anything we can do to help? I'll be praying for you at any rate.

 

[RedPiggy]

Thanks, but nah, I'll get over it. I feel lots better already. Of course, I'm also breathing better, too. I lost 4lbs on the "worked all day, didn't eat, and spent most of my time with labored breathing" diet, LOL. I'm hoping my days off will let my body relax.

I think I know why people like us don't get over it: because for it to stop bleeding, the knife actually has to be removed at some point. Whether it's being treated callously on the internet or dealing with narcissistic monsters of relatives, when THEY don't change, it's hard for US to. I'm actually fine and good with people who maybe didn't get along with me in the beginning but in the end we began to understand each other. What irritates me is when either the person doesn't change at all or there's a visible decline. Everyone's a part of us, and we're all a part of each other. Healing takes longer when the wounds still appear.

 

[CensoredAlso]

when THEY don't change, it's hard for US to.

At some point though other people have to stop being so important to our own peace of mind.

Some people are never going to change. But I don't want to let their stubbornness cheat me out of my happiness. I've always been very adamant about that.

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

At some point though other people have to stop being so important to our own peace of mind.

Some people are never going to change. But I don't want to let their stubbornness cheat me out of my happiness. I've always been very adamant about that.

I think it depends on how often you are part of the situation. For example, I live with someone who often is rather verbally and physically abusive. Even though it doesn't happen all the time, the fact that everyone else seems okay to just let it happen and allow for no accountability is exceedingly frustrating. If I was exposed to someone like that for a short time, say at work, I'd still be mad that there is no or will be no change, but as long as I weren't exposed to it, I feel I would be able to move on easier.

 

[CensoredAlso]

I think it depends on how often you are part of the situation. For example, I live with someone who often is rather verbally and physically abusive. Even though it doesn't happen all the time, the fact that everyone else seems okay to just let it happen and allow for no accountability is exceedingly frustrating. If I was exposed to someone like that for a short time, say at work, I'd still be mad that there is no or will be no change, but as long as I weren't exposed to it, I feel I would be able to move on easier.

Well you're absolutely right, if people know something like that is going on around them and are in a position to do something, it is wrong to turn a blind eye. My sympathies to you, I hope you are able to get out of that situation.

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

Thanks.
But yea, I see what you're saying about it letting us get caught up in it too much. Sorry if it sounded as if I was trying to argue with you.

 

[CensoredAlso]

Thanks.
But yea, I see what you're saying about it letting us get caught up in it too much. Sorry if it sounded as if I was trying to argue with you.

No worries, you didn't sound like that at all. When physical abuse enters the picture that person is always in the wrong.

 

[beaker]

There should be a zero tolerance in this world for mental, emotional and ESPECIALLY physical abuse regardless if its from a parent, sibling, other relative or "friend". Especially a lover. Good people should not have to live under the boot of oppressive households.