Brothers and Sisters

[The Count]

We eat them tomatoes almost daily. But if you haven't got 'em/don't cook with 'em, the recipe should still work anyway.
Tomatoes? *Nervous glance.
Don't worry, noone's throwing tomatoes your way.
Too bad, I could make a salad with them. *Weak smile for a weak joke
The only thing we throw the bear is abuse!
*Ominous look at the duo, meaning if they're not careful, that theater balcony box will become their burial box.
*Hecklers quiet down.

More fic please?

 

[TogetherAgain]

For some reason, I only get the urge to post when I'm walking out the door and don't have time to do so, and that just doesn't seem fair. So, since today will mostly be devoted to doing laundry, I figure I'll do some serious commenting on this story while I'm waiting to change loads.

First of all, I love Janken sticking his head out the car window. Looks like Rowlf's been teaching him some bad habits! Tee hee.

I'm glad I decided to re-read all of this while replying so that I wouldn't forget to comment on anything. Somehow on my first read-through I missed most of this sentence:

Not doing a bad job of it either, considering that Scooter's last camping experience had been with the Cub Scouts and all Janken knew about the wilderness was how to live in it.

I just love that comment on Janken's wilderness knowledge. Living in the wilderness, as a part of nature, is an entirely different skill set from just camping there Silly Creature style. The way it's phrased here makes it sound like knowing how to live in the wild marks a significant lack of knowledge, which it obviously isn't. Anyway, my point is that this is funny, but the more you try to explain why something is funny, the less funny it gets, so I'm going to move on now.

"He is a king prawn, h'okay?" Janken replied, imitating Pepe's accent.

"Yeah, yeah, seafood by any other name."

Funny! I love the idea of Janken imitating other Muppets.

Janken tore off his jacket, dropped his canteen on top of it, and flung himself into the water with a cry of "Whoopee!"

Oh yeah. He's a Fraggle. No question. I love the brief discussion of chlorine before he jumps in; I recall reading in another story how he learned the hard way that it wasn't something he cared for.

I love the wet rat discussion, too! But what I really like is Skeeter insisting that Scooter and Janken not hide anything during the trip. Isn't it funny how the "I don't want anything to be awkward" conversation is always really awkward? But I like that everyone in the scene is nice and open and honest, which can be really hard with that sort of conversation--even moreso, I think, when it's with a close family member.

And then, because these are Muppets (and a Fraggle), we very smoothly transition into comedy. I love Scooter's surprise at Skeeter quoting Muppets Take Manhattan, and then the entire conversation and spit-taking from "Why, are you pregnant?" Ah, such fun and shenanigans! Cheap effects are sometimes the best kind. And I like Janken's explanation about the Fraggle take on marriage. Of course, it also makes me want to watch "Ring Around the Rock" and over-analyze every possible aspect of Gobo's reaction to/perception of the Gorgs' marriage... but that's just what happens when you combine a Fraggle nerd with an English major: extreme over-analysis. And I have every intention to do just that... but I'll finish commenting here first.

I love that moment of "Oops" when Skeeter realized she'd accidentally admitted to owning a cell phone. I would not be surprised if that was a... hm, not a bone of contention, exactly, but something the twins had discussed on more than one occasion. A nice little touch for the subtleties of a sibling relationship.

You're really good with details. Janken feeling a bit overwhelmed and awestruck at the view of the mountains, for instance. That kind of view is amazing... But adding in the realization that Janken probably had never seen that far before in his life? No wonder he had to step back a bit. Midwest girl that I am, I'm used to seeing some pretty long distances just from being on top of a hill. I don't think it would occur to me that a Fraggle wouldn't have too many opportunities to stare out at an open horizon.

And then, I love the conversation between Scooter and Skeeter about their childhood--remembering Nanny's socks and voice, but not her face. Gee, can't imagine why that would be... Very nice. I like how Janken excuses himself, too-- "The water's still wet, and I'm still a Fraggle." I'd say that about sums it up. But really, the twins' conversation... SO much going on there. A good heart-to-heart. I like that.

And then, well... the little disturbance in the night. Right from THIS point, here:

She could not see the fleeing creature clearly. She shone the flashlight at it, and saw a small brown and white shape disappear into the forest.

Just at the mention of "small brown and white," I thought, "Oh I HOPE that's Uncle Matt." And I figured that was a pretty far-fetched idea, but I still thought it would be SO cool... and I pretty much left it at that, and had to wait for the next chapter.

And then, well, the next chapter came along, with Matt and Gobo exploring Outer Space, and I was THRILLED! How exciting! I was RIGHT! And I just LOVE the interaction between these two. It seems so contradictory in so many ways, like they're constantly switching who's braver, who's smarter, who's following whom. I like how you've written them here, with Gobo mentally complimenting and second-guessing his uncle in a single breath, and the brief mapping debate. I will say that I'm a little surprised at how hesitant Gobo is about Outer Space. I'd think that after spending so much time talking with Doc, he'd be a little more familiar with some of it, have some more experience of his own with it... But I suppose that wouldn't necessarily be the case, and there would probably always be that initial trepidation with first stepping out of the Rock. Gobo is an explorer, but he also has a certain reluctance to leave home for very long. I like that about him. It's a fun balance.

I also like that Gobo decides the water is safe because it has things living in it. Isn't that exactly what would keep so many Silly Creatures away from swimming in that water? "Eww, there's stuff in there! Gross!" That must be why we prefer swimming in "poisoned" water. (No wonder they call us silly!)

I'm fascinated by Matt's explanation of the "Cloth-Cave Creatures." And then we see another perspective of what we saw in the last chapter... and Gobo and Matt briefly switch roles regarding bravery and leadership, and then switch back, with no dignity lost. I suspect they've had a lot of practice at that over the years.

Next chapter--I love the comment on the birds sounding pretty if you didn't know what they were saying. That's just fun. And then, of course, Janken falls into the river. Hey, he's a Fraggle! He doesn't get much swimming in Outer Space, and he's gotta make the most of it while he can! And then, a good camping sort of breakfast with hot chocolate. That brings back memories... Although breakfast on my family's camping trips was usually either french toast or something involving pudgie-pies. Yum!

Anyway, I like Janken's optimism about the crab apples. But THEN! Into the cave! WHOOPIE! I love how Janken is so excited while the twins are just baffled and have NO idea what he's talking about... but they trust him anyway, and happily I dance around the room. (Or something like that.) Of course, I don't blame the twins for not understanding what Janken's saying. I wonder if he has any idea how much he sounds like a certain old crush of his when he rambles about a living cave that's there because it's supposed to be there.

Another something I didn't notice on my first read-through:

It was obvious to Janken that Scooter didn't really believe, and Skeeter really didn't believe.

Amazing how much meaning can change just by swapping the order of two words, isn't it? Very nicely done! I love little language stuff like that. (Again, the English major thing.)

I hope taking a picture of the tunnel works to help them find it again. If it doesn't... well, they'll have an interesting time getting back, won't they? And then, then--oh, I give in! FULL-ON QUOTE MODE!

Skeeter felt a gust of wind and heard something in another tunnel. Careful not to touch the cave wall, she looked around—and came face-to-face with a brown Fraggle. It startled and yelped, then fled down the cave.

WHOOPIE! I know that Fraggle! I know that Fraggle! Goodness, what is it with Skeeter and Uncle Matt sneaking up on each other? Two chapters in a row now!

Janken recognized that yelp, and ran after it. "Great-Uncle Matt!"

I love that he recognizes the yelp. I mean, Traveling Matt does have a very distinctive yelp... But I figure Janken's heard it more than a few times in his life, too. So of course he recognizes it!

The brown Fraggle, who was wearing an off-white jacket and pants, stopped and looked back. He stared incredulously at Scooter and Skeeter for a moment, deciding whether to continue to be afraid, then made up his mind, sauntered over, and said, "Welcome home, Great-Nephew Janken. I hope you enjoyed my little joke."

"Sure I did," Janken replied, grinning.

<Snicker> Uh-huh. Joke. Uncle Matt exhibiting abject terror is always, obviously, a joke. I'm so glad that reasoning goes over better with his great-nephew than it once did with his nephew.

Another Fraggle, one whose skin was nearly the same color as Scooter and Skeeter's, came running in. "Uncle Matt! I heard—huh?" He stopped when he saw the others.

HI GOBO! Oh, and that sounds just like him, too. I can see and hear that perfectly. Knee-jerk reactions, though seemingly simple and basic, are a very easy way to mis-step when writing a pre-existing character, but you do such a great job of getting them just right.

Janken, savoring Gobo's startled expression, stepped past Matt and said, "Hi, Papa Gobo. These are my friends Scooter and Skeeter."

Isn't it so fun when you manage to out-step your parents, even by accident? I love that Janken savors it. Who wouldn't?

Gobo said, "Scooter? Oh, Janken's told me about you. Why didn't you tell us you were coming?"

And then Gobo just takes it all in stride, of course, which is why Janken has to savor that moment of surprise. With just about any other Fraggle, it takes a much smaller surprise to get a much bigger reaction than with Gobo. He's just so stable.

I love how Janken preps the twins for being in the Rock and has them put away their technology. I'd never heard of cargo cults before reading this, but I did some looking afterwards. Interesting stuff. Anyway, I suspect the whole Wish-Granting Creature incident isn't exactly a pleasant memory for the Fraggles, so I can see why Janken would want to avoid any sort of repeat of it, even without the possibility of being embarrassed by his family.

And speaking of the family, oh, goody! I hope Scooter's ready to meet his "in-laws," so to speak! I love how casually Gobo leads them into Boober's cave. And oh, Boober!

"It's not some sort of rampaging, disease-bearing beast again, is it?"

Oh, that's happened before, eh? (Also, nice description of the cave and the Fraggle.)

He glanced over as Janken entered. "Hi, Janken. Janken? What're you doing-" Then he stopped and stared at Scooter and Skeeter.

I just LOVE that sort of reaction. The initial, "Oh, this is normal. Hey wait--NO it isn't!" And in this case, that's followed (surely) by some very well-contained panic.

"Janjanjan!"

Hi Sage!

A ball of green tackled Janken. Taken by surprise, he was knocked backwards to the ground. He gasped, "Medic!"

You know, Sage's entrances and greetings are always so quiet and subtle, it's a wonder anyone ever notices she's around. I love how she always greets Janken this way, and how she's always so excited to see her big brother. It reminds me of how my cousin and I used to always run and squeal when we got to see each other.

I love Sage's fascination with the Fraggle-sized Silly Creatures, how Scooter takes that fascination right in stride, and of course Boober's protectiveness. I'm kind of impressed at how quickly he--verbally, anyway--welcomed the twins to the Rock. Probably for the best that he had to go be a medic right away and couldn't (/didn't have to) stick around and try to have a conversation right away, so he had some time to adjust to the idea.

And then, this exchange:

Most of the party followed Boober and Sage out the door. Scooter stopped Janken and asked in a low voice, "Uh, Jan, how much do they know about us?"

Surprised, Janken said, "They know about you and me, if that's what you're asking. I wouldn't keep something like that from my own family."

"Um."

Janken put an arm around Scooter's shoulders. "I've told you before, it's no big deal down here. I have three Papas, remember? Don't worry about it, I promise they'll like you."

For a Muppet, it's sometimes surprising how uncomfortable Scooter is in his own skin. With something like this, he's just not used to being himself in front of so many people, especially people he doesn't really know. Tough spot for him to be in. Isn't it amazing how hard it can be to just be you? I hope Janken's patient with him about it.

But on to the Fragglethon!

Red climbed higher. Gobo watched, interested. She was taking a shorter route, but one that was tougher. The rock was much smoother there, fewer shelves and cracks for fingers and toes to grip. It would be just like Red to take that route to show off, then fall. It would also be just like her to actually make it across.

SO true, on both counts. I love that Gobo respects Red's athletic talent--not that he'd ever say so to her, of course--just like she respects him and, again, would NEVER tell him so. (Have I mentioned lately that I LOVE their relationship?)

Then there was a cry from the crowd on the opposite side. The pink Fraggle had fallen. Sage rushed through the crowd, pushing Fraggles out of the way. She knelt by the pink Fraggle and examined him. He hadn't fallen far, but he had landed on one arm. She checked that arm, found it painful but not swollen, and splinted it for Boober to look at after the race. Then she cleaned a few scrapes from the fall.

Aww, Sage is such a good little apprentice medic! For such an energetic little Fraggle, she's got a lot of Boober in her. Actually... I guess she's about what Boober would be like if he didn't keep the Sidebottom side on the bottom.

Skeeter said, "If Red fell she'd kill herself!"

Though she had spoken to herself, Janken replied, "Nah. We Fraggles are pretty tough, and we know how to take a fall. It'd hurt, but Boober wouldn't tolerate anyone dying while he was on the job."

You've put a very fun image into my head of Boober saying very sternly, "Now LISTEN, all you Fraggles! As long as I'm medic here, you are all FORBIDDEN from dying! You hear me? I will NOT allow it!" Had to share.

Red stopped and was looking around as if seeking the next crack or ledge. The wall ahead of her was smooth. Matt commented, "Red appears to have gotten herself stuck."

"Maybe," Gobo replied.

I love that Gobo doesn't quite agree, and doesn't quite disagree... just waits to see which way Red's pride will take her.

The hardest part out of the way, Red made her way to the far wall and jumped onto the plateau that served as the finish line. She raised her hands and declared, "Red Fraggle does it again! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" Then she jumped down, ran over to the wall she had just crossed, and began cheering for the brown Fraggle. "Attagirl, Poncle! You're getting there! You can do it!"

I love that Red only takes a brief moment to celebrate her victory before rushing to cheer for her daughter. Looks like she's found a great balance between being competitor and mommy. I also love that little Poncle is even competing!

On the other side, Poncle finally reached the finishing point, cheered by the crowd. Red immediately swept her up onto her shoulders. "Let's hear it for Poncle, the youngest Fraggle ever to finish the wall race!" The other Fraggles shouted, and Gobo, Matt, Wembley, Mokey, and Sage all made their way over to congratulate the excited little Fraggle.

WHOOPIE!!!

Janken was pleased that nobody else had noticed his approach. He stepped into the group and said, "Way to go, Poncle! You'll be beating Red in no time."

"Yeah!" Poncle shouted.

<Giggles!> Oh, Janken is MUCH better at the "subtle approach" thing than his sister. And cute little Poncle doesn't even think twice about the fact that her big brother just sorta showed up.

Startled, Wembley asked, "Jan? Where'd you come from?" right before hugging him.

"Don't you know, Papa? I thought Mama told you about that," he said.

I have been snickering about this for WEEKS now. Just so you know. I just get such a kick out of thinking about Wembley's son saying that to him.

"Oh." She looked at them in pity for a moment, then said, "Look what I can do with my tail!" She wrapped hers around Red's upper arm and fell backwards off her shoulders. She ended up swinging under Red's outstretched arm. She spread her hands and said "Ta-daah!"

Please excuse me for a moment while I gush over the little one. PONCLE IS SOOOOO CUUUUTE! <Ahem> I love how quickly she goes from shock at the lack of fur and tail, to pity, to "Look what I can do!" Awww, just so adorable!

Then the start of the Skeeter/Red interaction, which I've been looking forward to ever since I saw a couple drawings of yours... I do so love the "house on fire" description for them.

And then, we have some wonderful interaction between Red and Gobo, with Poncle interrupting to be cute, and just about everyone landing in the pond--which seems to be how Red and Gobo settle about half of their conflicts, the other half being resolved with some sort of race or chase. So everybody's wet, and in Fraggle Rock, that means everybody's happy! (Well, unless you're a Doozer, but that's another story...)

Red grinned, pleased at the recognition of her skills. Poncle, who had been uncharacteristically quiet for the past three and a half minutes, declared, "I can lift it!" She grabbed the smaller barbell with both hands and strained as hard as she could.

Red chuckled and, taking the barbell by the weights, picked it up. "With a little help."

Again, I'm glad I decided to re-read this, because the first time around I just didn't realize how much I love Poncle. So cute! And I love seeing Red being a mom... and still being so very Red.

I love Skeeter's reaction to hammock-thwacking! I'd imagine that here in Outer Space, a parent even making reference to "thwacking" their child would potentially lead to an investigation by DCFS, especially if someone didn't know what it meant. Fraggles, on the other hand, have a different standard of where "fun" ends and "danger" begins.

I also like Red's explanation about creatures other than Fraggles participating in Fraggle events... Although, in terms of rock-climbing Doozers, I'd say Cotterpin did a pretty decent job scaling a stalagmite in "Red's Club." Of course, we have no idea how long it took her to do so, and then she couldn't get down... Oh, also, about Schist Cliff? I just have to say that I always loved the vocabulary associated with Geology. Schist might top the list, but on the other hand... who doesn't like talking about a mineral's cleavage, hmm?

Also love the conversation about towels and changing. Fun to see both perspectives on that! Technically, I can think of at least one occasion when we've seen Red using a towel to dry her hair after a swim, but it's still a fun conversation. And besides, who's to say Fraggles would call that a towel?

All that aside, I love that Mokey immediately gives Skeeter her sweater and says, "What are friends for?" They've just met, but Mokey wouldn't even think of not calling Skeeter her friend automatically... especially since Janken referred to Skeeter as his friend.

Then Janken wants Scooter to meet the Storyteller! I love that Scooter asks what her name is, and I love Janken's answer. And then... Sage! Right HERE, she seems pretty happy and care-free... and Janken doesn't MEAN to snub her...

I love seeing Janken take Scooter on this meandering sort of route, and I love how you describe each of the caves. And then the Storyteller! I love the relationship you've created between her and Janken. It's so... comfortable. I also enjoyed Janken's thoughts on Scooter's method for drinking pond water.

"And, of course, I've told her about you, and I knew she'd want to meet you. And, to answer the next question, yes, she knows."

Scooter said, "Actually, I wasn't thinking about that."

"You weren't?"

"Nope. It slipped my mind. Heh."

YAAAAAAY! That's good! Good Scooter. As a reward, you get to see Belching Boulder, which I've always thought was one of the more amusing landmarks in Fraggle Rock.

Sage was half-in, half-out of the pond, resting her chin on her hands on the mossy boulders while her legs kicked slowly to keep her in place. She had been here so long that her hair and the fur on her back had dried.

At THAT point, I knew she'd been waiting for Janken... But if you set aside the waiting, I love the image of a Fraggle hanging out at the edge of the Fraggle Pond that way, half in the water and half dry, just lazing away for a while.

They crossed the Great Hall, laughing about something or other, without noticing her. She had waited all this time, and they just walked by and didn't even look at her! Her fingers tightened angrily in the moss.

And THIS is where I want to give her a hug, and also where I started getting a feeling on my first read-through that hers just might be my favorite plot line of the story. I know you've said that you're kind of surprised at the reaction she's gotten, so let me put it this way... As the youngest in my family, I kinda know how it feels to get left behind, even by accident. Of course, Sage doesn't necessarily realize that Janken doesn't mean to leave her out... which just makes it even harder for her. Poor cutie. But I trust it'll work out by the end of the story.

There was a boing and a yelp, then a big splash. A moment later Skeeter surfaced, sputtering.

<Snicker> I wonder if she actually agreed to that... or got thwacked before she knew what was happening.

And before I start on the next chapter, here's a comment I've been meaning to reply to for quite some time now:

But what is a story without conflict?

Dull. Or possibly "post-modern," <shudder> but let's not go there. Either way, it's not something I'd use to describe your stories. Moving on, though...

Sage said, "I have your pajamas, Jan. I washed them for you today." She offered him a bundle of neatly-folded, cream-colored cloth.

Aww, now see, isn't that sweet and adorable? What a good little sister! See, here, I think she'd be entirely fine with everything, if... Janken stops seeming to ignore her...

He took it and ruffled her hair affectionately. "Thanks, sis."

"Stay with me tonight," she said.

He smiled. "Sorry, Sage, but I'm playing Native Guide now. My friends aren't used to being underground, and I can't go off and leave them."

"But you always stay with me," she protested.

"Next time, okay?" he told her gently.

...And it just ain't in the cards.

She looked away. "Yeah."

See, she doesn't really seem angry here. She's just... hurt. And Janken doesn't realize it... and why would he? She's being the wonderful little sister she always is, even washing his pajamas for him so they'd be freshly cleaned--and you know they weren't sitting around dirty somewhere.

Sage got into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. Boober paused, looking at her. Her tail was lashing under the covers.

NOW she's angry, because Janken isn't there being nice about ignoring her (which he doesn't know he's doing), so she's got time to sit and stew about it. I'm glad Papa Boober's there for her, and that he's perceptive enough to know why she's upset... But of course, sometimes the best advice you can get is the last thing in the world you want to hear. Still, I like Boober's wistfulness for when he could solve all her problems with a cookie. And, actually, no matter how old you are, a cookie can still go a long way to fix a lot of problems.

I like that Janken conveniently neglects to mention the other purpose that room can serve. Sleeping there when nobody's sick probably wouldn't faze a Fraggle, but for a Silly Creature? Well, that's different. We get squeamish about such things. But of course Scooter... doesn't seem convinced. Janken, you got some s'plainin' to do!

I love the tail holes in the pajamas, and Janken's amusement at Silly Creature modesty. And the frisking conversation... Again, talking about not being awkward makes everything awkward! <Giggles>

But this paragraph here:

Janken yawned again, then said, "Among Fraggles sleeping together just means being together when you sleep, just like eating together means being together when you eat. People sleep together all the time just because it's friendly and, in winter, because it's warm." When he came back to Fraggle Rock Sage always claimed him as her teddy bear. It felt a little odd to be with Scooter while he was here, even though they were comfortable with each other. "Good night."

First, I LOVE that explanation about sleeping together/eating together. That is just so wonderful and accurate and true! But then, the fact that he spares a thought for, "Hmm, I'd usually be with Sage now. This is odd." Only a passing thought... But just enough to show how much he loves his little sister and loves spending time with her. Pity we, as the reader, can't pass that along to Sage.

I love that Sage did move to Boober's bed, and that she's so eager to help him with breakfast. The fact that she decided they should make Janken's favorite--sort of reaching out to her brother again, like washing his pajamas, trying to get him to notice her.

"So I smell," he replied. "I've missed both your cooking."

And he DOES notice! See, Sage? He misses you, too.

Red said to Gobo, "I hope you're ready to lose that rock climbing trophy today."

"I hadn't really thought about it," he told her.

"The heck you haven't. You've had it for two years in a row. You flaked out on the Fraggleathelon this year because you knew I'd clobber you in front of everyone."

"No, I just decided I wanted to explore with Uncle Matt," Gobo said in an annoyingly reasonable tone of voice. To further the insult, he added, "It's not like it's all that important. It's just a trophy, after all."

"You can say that when you deliver it to me after I win!"

<Snicker!> Oh, I LOVE these two. Gobo's specifically being all calm and reasonable about the whole Fragglethon JUST to get Red riled up, isn't he? <Giggles!> Oh, they're such fun.

Sage said to Janken, "Want to help us cook?"

"I'd like to, but there are some parts of the Rock I want to show Scooter."

"Can I come too?"

Janken shook his head. "Sorry, but this wouldn't be a good time."

Aww, rejected twice in a row. (Of course, having read the rest of the chapter, it's a darn good thing Sage DIDN'T come along ... But of course, if she had, the itinerary would've been altered.)

She looked down at her plate and wiped up some honey dribblings with the last of her quickbread. Boober waited for her to say something more to Janken, but she didn't.

Oh, Sage. Janken will never have any idea you're upset if you don't say something. At this rate, you're just going to explode at him eventually, and he'll have no idea where you're coming from... Ah, well, she's gotta learn it on her own. Hopefully she'll figure it out a little quicker than I did.

And in the meantime, Janken and Scooter get some nice cozy one-on-one time that they wouldn't have had if any of their sisters had come along. And the rest of us get to see some rock-climbing! I love how Red got Poncle to "compete" without actually competing. And then there's this:

Red looked down again. Both Geezil and Skeeter were far below her. No surprise there; Red had scaled this cliff so many times she could climb it with her eyes closed. She wished Gobo were here; then she'd have some real competition. It would be mean to finish too fast and leave the other two to struggle in her wake, so she slowed down.

I was SO happy to see this, because I'd actually just been thinking about writing a scene with Red wishing Gobo were competing so she'd actually have some competition... and here you are doing just that! Must be a good idea, then. After all, winning is only fun if you have to work at it. I like that she slowed down out of courtesy to the others... Not something you'd expect from such a fierce competitor, but something you would expect from a Fraggle, and Red certainly is that.

The Fraggles below cheered, even those who had been rooting for the other two. Somebody won, and that was worth cheering for.

I love Fraggle cheering. It's kind of like Fraggle partying. Who really cares what the reason is, as long as you do it?

I am so proud of Skeeter for catching herself about being mad at Red. Maybe it's because she's on company manners... But I liked that whole exchange.

And instead of getting mad... Skeeter just conveniently baits Red into another competition. Oh, this is gonna be good...

And this review took me the whole day to do. If I commented more often, a single post wouldn't take me all day... Ah well. Someday I'll learn, right? Bottom line is that I'm loving this story, and I look forward to reading more just as soon as you can post it!

 

[mostlikemokey]

Oh! I read Janken's fan-fic posts and stories before. Very interesting! Thanks, Mokey! Is it okay if I just call you Mokey?

It's definitley ok! *sings* I have a nickname! I have a nickname! *dances around*

 

[The Count]

Originally posted by Lisa of the Three Minds, and the Review of Doom: "Oh, also, about Schist Cliff? I just have to say that I always loved the vocabulary associated with Geology. Schist might top the list, but on the other hand... who doesn't like talking about a mineral's cleavage, hmm?"

In a related story, the National Parks Council has requested the Grand Teatans have their name changed... Or at the very least be covered up.
*Camera background image switches to a mountain chain capped with giant-sized overimposed bras.

Sorry, that's an old SNL joke, couldn't help myself.

 

[Twisted Tails]

Thank you, Mokey Great singer too! Count, um I love your old SNL joke. On a related story, two people requested that they saw furry creatures that live underground. Carmera then shows a group of Fraggles (the five main fraggles to be exact.) Hahahahah! I thought that would cheer you up, Count.

Very funny!

Well, it's a joke I made up and... Oh forget it! I knew it was an awful joke I made but I was trying to cheer anybody up. Well, please post more story. I'm an impatient muppet fan here.

 

[Slackbot]

Lots of stuff

Fist of all, wow! I'm very pleased that you took the time to type out this long, detailed reply. It made me smile on a day when I really needed a pick-me-up.

it also makes me want to watch "Ring Around the Rock" and over-analyze every possible aspect of Gobo's reaction to/perception of the Gorgs' marriage... but that's just what happens when you combine a Fraggle nerd with an English major: extreme over-analysis.

You are I are on the same wavelength. I like to analyze what I see and figure out cultural patterns. It comes naturally to me; I find psychology and anthropology to be fascinating topics, hence my referencing such obscure things as cargo cults. That's led me to some odd conclusions, or at least nor common among fanfic writers, such as the way Fraggle families are structured (or not structured).

English major, eh? "What do ya do with a B.A. in English?" True story: I have a degree in art. The entire time I was in college I tried to get into writing classes. I wanted to improve my writin' skills. But did I ever succeed? Nope. Following the instructions of my Academic Advisor, I'd sign up for this and that class, only to find myself in another "Let's discuss Ode to a Grecian Urn" class. ARRGH!

I love that moment of "Oops" when Skeeter realized she'd accidentally admitted to owning a cell phone. I would not be surprised if that was a... hm, not a bone of contention, exactly, but something the twins had discussed on more than one occasion. A nice little touch for the subtleties of a sibling relationship.

Actually, the "oops" was that she had a cell phone with her, since she'd just twitted Scooter about leaving the tech toys at home. I didn't get specific about that, though.

You're really good with details. Janken feeling a bit overwhelmed and awestruck at the view of the mountains, for instance. That kind of view is amazing... But adding in the realization that Janken probably had never seen that far before in his life? No wonder he had to step back a bit.

Thanks! Little details that show a character's perceptions help make a story more vivid, and they're fun to write, especially when the perception is just a little alien. I read, long ago, about some member of a jungle-living tribe being taken out into some other area, and thinking at first that distant features were close enough to touch because he had never seen anything that far away. So, that's where that came from.

And then, I love the conversation between Scooter and Skeeter about their childhood--remembering Nanny's socks and voice, but not her face. Gee, can't imagine why that would be... Very nice. I like how Janken excuses himself, too-- "The water's still wet, and I'm still a Fraggle." I'd say that about sums it up. But really, the twins' conversation... SO much going on there. A good heart-to-heart. I like that.

Thanks. I like Skeeter, and I want her in my fics and in her brother's life, so they needed to re-establish their relationship. (Gah, that sounds so self-help-book-ish.) BTW, the Nanny reference doesn't make Muppet Babies part of my stories, as I see everyone coming from different homes and meeting as adults. The backstory for them is that Scooter & Skeeter's mother died, and their father was...well, who knows? The twins don't. So uncle J.P. inherited a pair of toddlers and, having very little skill or instinct for parenting, hired a nanny to take care of them. Fortunately, he hired a pretty good one.

And I just LOVE the interaction between these two. It seems so contradictory in so many ways, like they're constantly switching who's braver, who's smarter, who's following whom. I like how you've written them here, with Gobo mentally complimenting and second-guessing his uncle in a single breath, and the brief mapping debate. (snip) ... and Gobo and Matt briefly switch roles regarding bravery and leadership, and then switch back, with no dignity lost. I suspect they've had a lot of practice at that over the years.

By this time Gobo is past worshiping Matt and then being disappointed when Matt doesn't live up to his expectations. Gobo knows what Matt is like and accepts that, Matt no longer feels (as much) need to be blustery and defensive, and they've both fallen into comfortable patterns.

Although breakfast on my family's camping trips was usually either french toast or something involving pudgie-pies. Yum!

Pudgie pies? What be those??

Of course, I don't blame the twins for not understanding what Janken's saying. I wonder if he has any idea how much he sounds like a certain old crush of his when he rambles about a living cave that's there because it's supposed to be there.

He probably isn't aware of that, but he would be pleased if you pointed it out to him. He still, ahem, greatly admires Cantus, and think he's the wisest Fraggle who ever lived, even wiser than Papa Wembley. While traveling with Cantus he got a sense that things happen for a purpose. He got overwhelmed after traveling a while and stopped at a Fraggle colony, then was trapped in Outer Space by a rockslide, where he just happened to land in the hands of people who would help him. They got him into a college, where he met Scooter, who helped him become fluent in Silly Creature society, among other things (ahem). Is it any wonder he thunks there's a great plan to everything, and if an opportunity shows itself it's practically your duty to take advantage of it?

Amazing how much meaning can change just by swapping the order of two words, isn't it? Very nicely done! I love little language stuff like that. (Again, the English major thing.)

Thank you! I'm always pleased when little things like that get noticed.

I love how Janken preps the twins for being in the Rock and has them put away their technology. I'd never heard of cargo cults before reading this, but I did some looking afterwards. Interesting stuff.

Yes, it is. I first started reading about them after reading Dream Park by Niven, Barnes, and Pournelle. The book was fascinating enough that I bought some of the bibliographic materials, such as Road Belong Cargo and The Island of Menstruating Men. No, I am not kidding.

You know, Sage's entrances and greetings are always so quiet and subtle, it's a wonder anyone ever notices she's around. I love how she always greets Janken this way, and how she's always so excited to see her big brother. It reminds me of how my cousin and I used to always run and squeal when we got to see each other.

For those who remember ReBoot, the first CGI cartoon series, Sage's greeting is called an Enzotackle, after the way Enzo Matrix used to knock Bob to the ground, then sit on his chest and jabber a mile a minute.

For a Muppet, it's sometimes surprising how uncomfortable Scooter is in his own skin. With something like this, he's just not used to being himself in front of so many people, especially people he doesn't really know. Tough spot for him to be in. Isn't it amazing how hard it can be to just be you? I hope Janken's patient with him about it.

When, all your life, you've been told that certain things are bad and wrong, you can't just shake that conditioning, even though you know it's baloney. For Scooter, the default option is putting up a "just friends" act. Skeeter had seen it enough to know it for the act it was and tell him to cut it out. However, Scooter is comfortable around the Muppets, so he doesn't put on an act when it's just them. He might be absent from the morning breakfast rush, or sometimes Janken might be there too.

Aww, Sage is such a good little apprentice medic! For such an energetic little Fraggle, she's got a lot of Boober in her. Actually... I guess she's about what Boober would be like if he didn't keep the Sidebottom side on the bottom.

Bingo. That's how she's developing. She wants to be just like Papa Boober, and thankfully by the time she was born he was over the worst of his gloom and paranoia. I considered a story in which she was trying too hard to be like Boober, to her detriment, which held up a mirror to Boober, and he didn't like what he saw. I decided not to write that because I want Sage to be more upbeat.

Please excuse me for a moment while I gush over the little one. PONCLE IS SOOOOO CUUUUTE! <Ahem> I love how quickly she goes from shock at the lack of fur and tail, to pity, to "Look what I can do!" Awww, just so adorable!

Heh, Poncle is inspired in part by my nephew Zoe. She's adorable, and knows it, and can sometimes get away with murder because of it. Poncle has a lot of Zoe's energy and showoffiness, minus the tantrums.

I love Skeeter's reaction to hammock-thwacking! I'd imagine that here in Outer Space, a parent even making reference to "thwacking" their child would potentially lead to an investigation by DCFS, especially if someone didn't know what it meant. Fraggles, on the other hand, have a different standard of where "fun" ends and "danger" begins.

Definitely. Humans have an idea that the world should be 100% safe, all corners padded, and if something bad happens they should sue someone. Fraggles, who aren't insulated from nature, don't expect the world to be hazard-free, and thus grow up learning how to deal with danger. They learn how to take a fall, what to do if they're hurt, how to aim for the water when thwacked, and most of all to stick together.

All that aside, I love that Mokey immediately gives Skeeter her sweater and says, "What are friends for?" They've just met, but Mokey wouldn't even think of not calling Skeeter her friend automatically... especially since Janken referred to Skeeter as his friend.

Because Janken loves Scooter, and Skeeter is Scooter's sister, then of course she's part of the family in Mokey's opinion. She's probably the one Fraggle who doesn't find anything odd about the situation. What a hippie, eh?

I know you've said that you're kind of surprised at the reaction she's gotten, so let me put it this way... As the youngest in my family, I kinda know how it feels to get left behind, even by accident.

Ahh, that makes sense. I was the older sister, so I know what it's like to be on that side. Well, sort of...divorces and remarriages and redivorces and temporary step-siblings do make for weird family dynamics.

See, she doesn't really seem angry here. She's just... hurt. And Janken doesn't realize it... and why would he? She's being the wonderful little sister she always is, even washing his pajamas for him so they'd be freshly cleaned--and you know they weren't sitting around dirty somewhere.

Yes, exactly. She wanted them to be all fresh for him, and she used a special mossie so they'd be extra nice. The thing is, she is empathic enough to understand why Janken is paying more attention to Scooter than to her, and young enough for it to still hurt her feelings.

I love that Sage did move to Boober's bed, and that she's so eager to help him with breakfast. The fact that she decided they should make Janken's favorite--sort of reaching out to her brother again, like washing his pajamas, trying to get him to notice her.

That's one big difference between Sage and her papa. If she's unhappy, she's going to do the sensible thing and try to fix it rather than moping. She may not know how, just like Janken didn't in "The Mamas and The Papas," but she'll try.

I love how Red got Poncle to "compete" without actually competing.

That was based on a scene from real life. Once, when I was playing Guitar Hero, my then-6-year-old nephew was watching and wouldn't stop jabbering, which is fatally distracting when you're playing a rhythm/music game. To keep from snapping at him, I asked him to help me by singing along softly with the music. That would help me play the game and I'd get a better score. And, believe it or not, it worked! He proudly told my sister, his mother, that he had helped me play the game and do really well. *chuckle*

And instead of getting mad... Skeeter just conveniently baits Red into another competition. Oh, this is gonna be good...

Red might disagree with that, after the fact of course. Or maybe she wouldn't admit to anything. Hee hee.

And this review took me the whole day to do. If I commented more often, a single post wouldn't take me all day... Ah well. Someday I'll learn, right? Bottom line is that I'm loving this story, and I look forward to reading more just as soon as you can post it!

Thank you! I'm pleased that you like this story enough to spend so much time commenting on it. I appreciate it. And if you have any constructive criticism, please feel free to say so. I know my work isn't perfect, and I can't see my own blind spots.

More story to come!

 

[Twisted Tails]

Slackbot, you are absolutely perfect. I understand that you are not perfect, eh? Well, I appreciate to have most updates please.

 

[TogetherAgain]

English major, eh? "What do ya do with a B.A. in English?" True story: I have a degree in art. The entire time I was in college I tried to get into writing classes. I wanted to improve my writin' skills. But did I ever succeed? Nope. Following the instructions of my Academic Advisor, I'd sign up for this and that class, only to find myself in another "Let's discuss Ode to a Grecian Urn" class. ARRGH!

Well, so far, what I do with a BA in English is sit around a lot, read and write mostly fanfic, and apply to jobs while staring at bills that seem to be multiplying and thanking my lucky stars that my parents refuse to throw me out of the house based on some random principle. I also mentally correct a lot of grammar, but politely keep most of those corrections to myself. (Besides, if I try to correct my dad's grammar, he will purposely make it worse.)

Thank you for making me really, really glad that I only saw an academic advisor twice in my college career: once when it was required for class credit (yay "Freshman Seminar"), and once because you couldn't get into Senior Seminar without an advisor's clearance. I relied entirely on the requirements listed in the course catalog I got as a Freshman, which felt pretty good when my advisor said, "Okay, you need Senior Seminar, this one gen. ed. requirement, and... seven more credit hours of... whatever." So I took Anthropology, a third course in Children's Literature, a class about the evolution of language and dialects that could have been awesome with a better professor, and... bowling.

Actually, the "oops" was that she had a cell phone with her, since she'd just twitted Scooter about leaving the tech toys at home. I didn't get specific about that, though.

That was my second guess. Either way, I still love that "oops."

BTW, the Nanny reference doesn't make Muppet Babies part of my stories, as I see everyone coming from different homes and meeting as adults. The backstory for them is that Scooter & Skeeter's mother died, and their father was...well, who knows? The twins don't. So uncle J.P. inherited a pair of toddlers and, having very little skill or instinct for parenting, hired a nanny to take care of them. Fortunately, he hired a pretty good one.

That's actually pretty much exactly the direction I was guessing you were going with that--maybe just because I've gotten the impression from other stories that you put enough of an age difference between Scooter and most of the other Muppets that they couldn't possibly have been babies at the same time.

Pudgie pies? What be those??

Pudgie pies be DELICIOUSLY unhealthy campfire creations that very few people seem to know about. They make pudgie pie irons--although they may be sold under a different name... Imagine sort of like a waffle iron with a long handle, except without any waffle-shape inside. Anyway, you take two pieces of bread, butter one side of each, and put the buttered side down into the iron. Then you put something yummy on the un-buttered side that will be the middle--usually fruit preserves, I think, but with me being the picky eater that I am, I always used chocolate chips. Then hinge the two sides of the iron together, lock it in place, and stick it in the fire in a nice spot by some hot coals. It takes some trial-and-error to get the timing right, but when it's done, the outside should be a nice golden-brown, and the inside should be nice and melty. I was a pudgie pie master back in fifth grade or so, but we really haven't gone camping since then, so I have no idea if I still have the knack for it.

I considered a story in which she was trying too hard to be like Boober, to her detriment, which held up a mirror to Boober, and he didn't like what he saw. I decided not to write that because I want Sage to be more upbeat.

Ooh, interesting! I understand the reasons for not writing it, but I'd be kind of curious to see that story for Boober's reactions. (But of course, please don't feel obligated to write it just because I said that--I've had plenty of story ideas that would've had some really neat elements, but for various reasons were best left unwritten.)

Definitely. Humans have an idea that the world should be 100% safe, all corners padded, and if something bad happens they should sue someone. Fraggles, who aren't insulated from nature, don't expect the world to be hazard-free, and thus grow up learning how to deal with danger. They learn how to take a fall, what to do if they're hurt, how to aim for the water when thwacked, and most of all to stick together.

Seems like a much more reasonable way to live. It's really no wonder they call us "Silly Creatures." Safety precautions are great, but as with anything in life... there is such a thing as going too far.

And if you have any constructive criticism, please feel free to say so. I know my work isn't perfect, and I can't see my own blind spots.

In my experience, it's one of the great ironies in life that the people who are most open to constructive criticism are the people who need it the least. If I come up with any for you, I'll be sure to let you know, but mostly I've been enjoying the story and geeking out over all the awesome little details.

More story to come!

YAY!

 

[Twisted Tails]

TogetherAgain, you are a good at criticizing, but I understand that Fraggles do call us "Silly Creatures." Well, I don't mind being called a "silly creature" either. Hee hee! So, I wonder if there will be more story soon.

 

[Slackbot]

Well, so far, what I do with a BA in English is sit around a lot, read and write mostly fanfic, and apply to jobs while staring at bills that seem to be multiplying and thanking my lucky stars that my parents refuse to throw me out of the house based on some random principle.

Looks like you have as practical a degree as I do. I have a BFA in drawing & painting. What do I do? I'm a computer monkey. I edit and proofread and troubleshoot and move data around and stuff. All my degree has done is prove that I could get good grades for 4 years.

a class about the evolution of language and dialects that could have been awesome with a better professor

Oooh, that does sound like a fascinating subject. I love languages. I speak French, can often figure out Spanish based on French and a smattering of Latin, and I've studied Japanese. If I was offered that course I'd have jumped in with both feet.

That's actually pretty much exactly the direction I was guessing you were going with that--maybe just because I've gotten the impression from other stories that you put enough of an age difference between Scooter and most of the other Muppets that they couldn't possibly have been babies at the same time.

That's correct. I imagine Scooter was in his mid-teens when J.P. foisted him onto the Muppets, never imagining the kid would make a career out of it. If you did the math--and I don't, as that leads to madness--you'd realize that there's a very significant age gap between Scooter and Janken. But, as I see it, once Muppets reach adulthood they tend to just stick there.

Pudgie pies be DELICIOUSLY unhealthy campfire creations that very few people seem to know about.

Ahh, cool. Actually, I make something similar, a Japanese confection called taiyaki. Same two-sided iron, but it has a space inside shaped like a fish. You fill the fish shape with pancake batter and put in some filling--usually anko (sweeeeet red bean paste), but you can use honey, peanut butter, chocolate, nutella, etc. Mmmmm.

Ooh, interesting! I understand the reasons for not writing it, but I'd be kind of curious to see that story for Boober's reactions. (But of course, please don't feel obligated to write it just because I said that--I've had plenty of story ideas that would've had some really neat elements, but for various reasons were best left unwritten.)

Yeah. There are a number of stories and subplots I've decided not to write because they struck a sour note with me. When I outlined "A Wandering Heart" I originally planned for Janken to discover en route that Cantus has very poor vision, which is why he rarely seems to be looking at anything. He isn't; he gets more information from his ears. Janken would immediately offer to be his seeing-eye dog, and Cantus would refuse. However, I decided that I didn't want Cantus to seem handicapped at all. In the case of the Boober & Sage story, the problem verged on the issue of an eating disorder, which is linked to body image and insecurity, and those are issues I really didn't want to write about in the Fraggle world. Fraggles got more sense than that.

In my experience, it's one of the great ironies in life that the people who are most open to constructive criticism are the people who need it the least.

I don't find it ironic. Those who don't need constructive criticism have already improved a lot because they've been listening to constructive criticism and using it to improve all along.

And here's a chunk of first-draft that I dashed off today...

**

(Scooter said,) "It's been years since I even touched a guitar. Are you sure you want me to play that?"

Yeah! It's great!" Janken swung his arm with exaggerated enthusiasm.

Scooter rolled his eyes. "Oh, sheesh. Fine then." He hung the guitar around his shoulders on the strap and began testing the strings, trying to find the notes and chords he would need. After he did he practiced strumming them, getting his hand to remember them so he wouldn't have to think about them while singing. He told the others, "When I was a kid I took guitar lessons. Our guitars are different. For one thing, they have six strings, not three, and the notes are in different places. So, bear with me."

"We understand. Everyone started somewhere," Mokey said encouragingly.