Brace yourselves -- A Muppet Slam Poem

[Puckrox]

Did I really just spend the past eight hours devoted to writing a slam poem about the Muppets? ... Yes. Yes I did.

A couple brief notes:

1) It's long. Just a heads up.
2) Slam poems are meant to be heard, not read, so please keep that in mind upon reading. (I might post a video of myself reading this out loud for you guys.)
3) It's far from being done. It needs a bit of finessing.
4) The original poem has a bit of swearing in it, so I've either replaced words or taken them out completely. Wheeeee!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[FONT=&quot]Roam with the Fraggles[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sometimes[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]When I’m sitting in the back class[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Trying to avoid all eye contact [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Or when I’m wasting my youth at work[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Watching the ungrateful customers smirk[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Or when I’m folding clothes, paying bills, washing dishes, cleaning spills[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It hits me[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Faster than you can blink[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This world I’m living in is standing on the brink[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Of driving me to drink[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because, you see,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This world is cruel[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It’s just too harsh[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It’s a never ending parade and we are all forced to march[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Our world is filled with war and drugs[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Intolerance and hate[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Racism, sexism, ageism, everything-ism[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Prejudice surrounds me in every place[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So I came up with an answer[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]For every problem that I face[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]An answer to all life’s misfortunes[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]All your troubles, all your woes[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Out the door, bid them farewell[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Smile and watch them go[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I wanna roam with the Fraggles[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Yes, you heard me, I said Fraggles[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And no, you did not just time travel back to the eighties[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]When your hair was awful and our president was lazy[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But are you listening?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because I’m speaking from the heart[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This is a wish I’ve held dear for years[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
And I want you all to be a part[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I wanna roam with the Fraggles[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I want to wash socks and live in caves[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Destroy Doozer buildings, pick up postcards,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And have crazy minstrel raves[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And the real world would be our outer space[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because only the Fraggles are smart enough to realize[/FONT][FONT=&quot] our world is such a strange place[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]But it’s not just those little creatures[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]With their delightful little features[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]No, let’s not stop there[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Let’s take this one step further[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Into the realms of my nostalgic, twisted mind[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Enter inside and make your way down[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Past the Peanuts, left of Mister Rogers[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Past Calvin and Hobbes, right of Doug, and next to Arthur[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And you’ll see there’s more to find[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I wanna meet Kermit and the gang[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The ones I grew up watching on TV[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I wanna hang with Rowlf and Janice, Fozzie and Gonzo[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Piggy and Sweetums and Robin and Rizzo[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because life with the Muppets[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Those awesome monster-puppets[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Beats real life any day[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I want to live in a world where bears crack jokes[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And frogs can dream[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And it’s not inconceivable for a “whatever”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]To be so much more than he may seem[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I want to live where birds tower over people[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And dogs are Mozart buffs ,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where jumping in front taxis works[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And just one person believing in you will always be enough[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A world in which, when you throw fish, they come right back[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And creatures are named Boober and Scooter and stuff like that[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where Muppet Labs teaches me all the science I need to know[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And Electric Mayhem is number one[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And old men heckle bears because, hey, it’s kinda fun[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And a rainbow is not the start of an argument of hate[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But a sign of hope and peace for all because we can all relate[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]A place where I can have a full fledged conversation with a dog[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A dog[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Who knows how to roller skate and work a computer[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And who does not care about what I have to say[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because he’s far too busy worrying about the creatures living in my wall[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But that doesn’t matter, because he’s a dog, who I own, and can friggen understand English[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It doesn’t get more crazy than that[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I want to live in a world where, if I have a dream,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]It will come true in ninety minutes or less[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because I have friends by my side who always know what’s best[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And breaking out in song is custom[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And balloons can carry you away[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And believing in one’s self in discussed each and every day[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And a thankful heart is had not just when it’s Christmas[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And all my best friends are furry[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And dating a chicken is no big deal[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And Tim Curry is there because, hey, he’s Tim flippin' Curry[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I want to live in a world where friendship is endless[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where laughter cures sickness[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where hugs are currency[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Explosions happen frequently[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Trash speaks elegantly[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And eagles tend me to be sort of cranky [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Where I am never there only because I’m always here[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where every day has a number and a letter
And singing a simple song your whole life long makes everything all better[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]And it’s all thanks to a man named Jim[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Now there’s a man who had things right[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Who never knew the debt we’d someday owe him[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But if he did, he wouldn’t care, he’d just delight
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And he created this place
And maybe, though it's left your grace
Someday, somehow,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]When you have kids of your own[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Or you’ve left your nest and you’re in this big, wide, world alone
Or when you're washing dishes, paying bills, folding clothes, cleaning spills,
You'll remember
Because he created it just for us
A place of friendship and love[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Integrity and trust[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A world of infinite possibilities[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]That are limitless to discuss[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]In the end we're all going to go back there someday
To that rainbow connection
Where he made the objection
That bein' green is an okay thing
It's a keen sort of moment
Where you accept all you can bring[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because that was Jim’s point of it all[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We each have a song to sing[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]No matter how big; no matter how small[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]So help me find my way back to the street[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Or a bus filled with monsters I’d gladly call home[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Because home is where your heart is free to be[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]So, if you need to find me,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I’m gonna be where the Fraggles roam[/FONT]

 

[Muppetfan44]

This is very...very good! One of the best slam poems I ever read...period.

Great Job!

 

[Puckrox]

Hehe, thank yee. I've been working on it for a while now, but yesterday the majority of it spewed out of my brain. I'm quite proud of it. Again, sounds much better out loud. I might be performing it at an open mic night at the end of this term - h'oh boy!

 

[Puckrox]

Heeeeeey guys.

So, I did end up filming myself reading my uber long Muppet slam poem. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from my close friends, so I figured I'd share it on here as well. Check it out here. It's a little bumpy, and too slow/fast in places, but I'm still trying to get the hang out of it. And now you all get to see my funny little face. H'oh boy.

Hope you guys enjoy.

PS. OH. I forgot to say: There's a bit of cursing in it. It's the non censored version. So, if you have a problem with an F-bomb or two being dropped, then please don't watch. I don't want to offend anyone.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

I just want to say that you're amazing. Your slam poem captures what I'm sure many a Muppet fan has ever thought of. In fact, hearing your reading made me reminisce about my own entrance into Muppet fandom. Your words can really speak to people. =) Brava, Miss Puck! Brava!

 

[Puckrox]

Oh gosh! Thank you so much for the feedback!

In fact, hearing your reading made me reminisce about my own entrance into Muppet fandom.

Good! That's what I essentially tried to capture. I tried to mention everything that drew me in as a kid, and then what drew me back in at the ripe old age of twenty. I'm glad it touched you and you really enjoyed it!

 

[Puckrox]

Hey all. I wrote one more stanza of my slam poem, and I figured I would share it.


[FONT=&quot]A world where family is made of friends who share your dreams[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And being a professional pirate is great[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Pigs ride motorbikes, Gorgs all look alike[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And aliens rock out to “Celebrate”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Where “Me Me Me Me Me” and “Manha Manha” are real languages[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]With a few “Hi Ho”s and “Wocka Wocka”s in toe[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And there is nothing in this world we can’t achieve[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Cause we don’t need a map to keep this show on the road[/FONT]


Next Friday I'm performing this poem and a few others at an open mic night. The plan is to have my roommate film it, so I can put it up on the youtubez. If that happens, I shall share it with you all.

 

[Fraggline]

When I have the time (over the weekend), I am DEFINITELY going to read this! The parts I've seen so far are SO expressive! Gorgeous.

 

[Puckrox]

When I have the time (over the weekend), I am DEFINITELY going to read this! The parts I've seen so far are SO expressive! Gorgeous.

Awesome! Thanks Fraggline!

 

[Puckrox]

I performed the slam poem at open mic night, and - guess what? - EVERYONE LOVED IT!

Click here to watch the Muppet slam poem!


It was performed a little speedier than intended (adrenaline + nervousness = talking reallyreally fast), and I did forget one line ("a place where birds tower over people"), but besides those two things I'm quite proud. I got a lot of positive feedback (and hugs from complete strangers), and I've been encouraged by multiple people to perform it at other events. So, yeah!