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Sam and Friends BookWe’ve got a great story about Sesame Street and its beginnings on here - but I wnted to share my own ideas on Bert and Ernie. If you’ve run out of ideas for your “in the beginning” story, whoever was doing that, feel free to use any of these ideas. This is just my own thoughts, since we know they're just friends & ot brothers now (ah, but they could be fraternity brothers 
, on why they don't have jobs yet seem fairly adultlike. Plus, their "first skit together."
Bert & Ernie: First Day of College
It was a typical day on the campus of Northeast Southwestern New York City U. as incoming students began to register. Bands of Anything Muppets roamed the campus as a yellow Muppet with a tall face stepped out of his brother Bart’s car. “Hey, thanks for the lift, Bart.” He looked around at the large buildings. “Wow!”
“No problem. College is gonna be great. You sure you got everything?”
“Oh, yes, yes, I’m sure. Listen, you’ll have to let me know when your wife has her baby.”
“Oh, I will. If it’s a boy, we know we’re naming him Brad.”
“Super! Wow, that dorm look crowded.“ More Anything Muppets than the dorm can handle go rushing in, and it blows up like a balloon before going back to its normal size when they all come rushing out a moment later. “I won’t have much peace and quiet there.”
“Maybe there’s an apartment around here; you can always keep your room deposit and just check it out.”
“That would be swell. Maybe they’ll have some information on one of the bulletin boards at the student commons. Hey, I better go. Give my regards to everyone at home.” He grabbed a bag and left. “Wow,” he said again as he looked around.
Meanwhile, an orange Muppet with a longer, not so tall head was saying goodbye to his family. “Okay, see ya ‘round like a doughnut. Get it - round like a doughnut.” He gave a laugh that would soon be famous. “Give my regards to Broadway. Oh, and remember me to Herald Square.” They left.
“Hi! Hey, I couldn’t help but hear; you know someone on Broadway? That is so amazing! I mean, do you realize how much time and energy you have to devote to be on Broadway?”
“Well, actually, that was a joke. See, there was this song by the same title.”
Bert was deflated. “Oh.“ After a minute, he finally figured out how to recover. “Anyway, I’m Bert.”
“Hey, I’m Ernie, glad to know ya, pal. Say, you looking for a roommate?”
“Well, as a matter of fact…I had a room in that dormitory, but it seems so noisy.” A large orchestra suddenly began playing inside the same dormitory, causing it to shake. Fireworks began exploding above it. A herd of elephants went stampeding across the front lawn. “I just wonder if there’s someplace quieter.”
“I see what you mean, ol’ pal.”
“Ol…old pal? We just met.”
Ernie reassured him, “That’s okay, Bert. I like being friends with anyone. Let’s go check out the student commons, and see if they’ve got anything on the bulletin board.”
They walked into the commons to be greeted by a fuzzy blue assistant. “Hello, my name is Grover. I will be right with you,” he promised, before turning to a fat blue Graduate student. “Now then, you are ready to sign up to do your Masters thesis?”
“Yes, I would really like to do my thesis on cactus.”
“On cactus, you say?”
“Yes, I want to do my thesis on cactus. I hope that’s not a problem.”
“Oh, not at all. Coming right up.”
Before Fat Blue knew it, he shouted in pain, as Grover had pressed a button and a large cactus had risen from the ground. It had pushed him five feet in the air. “Help! Get me down!”
“But, what is wrong? You said you wished to do your thesis on cactus, and you are on a cactus.”
“For one thing, how do I get to the library from here?!” Fat Blue screamed.
“I assure you that your cactus is completely mobile.”
“Well, I don’t want to do my thesis on cactus anymore. I want to cover daisies.”
“Coming right up.” Another button pressed, and the cactus ejected him.
Fat Blue went flying and landed covering a bed of daisies. “Am I glad I never told him about my desire to go into ancient history when I came here.”
Grover looked at Bert and Ernie and said, “Do not worry, it is normal for college students to change their majors or their thesis subjects quite often once they arrive. And what may I do for you?”
“Well, Ernie and I were going to look into sharing an apartment. Is there one available near campus?”
“Let me check.” He looked at a book. “Yes, of course. I almost forgot. There is one rightr near where I live. It is a lovely little apartment for rent at 123 Sesame.”
“Oh, wonderful. Hey, I’m Ernie, by the way, and this is Bert.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you. And, will you be interested in any extracurricular activities?”
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, I just want to have fun while I’m here. I might do something with the school, but I think I’m more in the area of public service. You know, work with children and things like that. I read on your brochure that there are a lot of opportunities for that.”
“Yes, there are quite a few, my good man. And, how about you, Bert?”
“Well, I like that, too, but I also wanted to join the newspaper staff. I always thought reporting would be interesting.”
“Oh, yes, Bert, reporting. I love to learn, don’t you, Bert?”
“Yes, but I’m more interested in how one writes an article. You see, Ernie,” Bert said as Grover gave them directions to 123 Sesame, “my favorite letter is W. And reporters learn very early the importance of the 5 W’s and the H.”
Bert and Ernie picked up their bags. As they walked the dozen or so blocks to 123 Sesame, Bert considered that he liked Ernie a lot. Ernie seemed along the way to be the kind who might not study near as much, but he doubted that would be too big of a problem. After all, they were building a fast friendship.
They quickly found the place and filled out papers to share the rent and responsibilities. It was a lovely apartment in the basement of a building several stories tall. It seemed just right for a couple college students price-wise and for convenience.
“Hmmm, let’s see - ah, here he is.”
“Here who is?” Bert asked as they unpacked.
“Why, my rubber ducky, of course.” He began singing the Rubber Ducky song.
“Oh, well, that’s fine, Ernie. Anyway, did you read the brochure about the archaeological expedition. If we sign up for the same ancient history course at the same time, we can go to Egypt together.” Ernie said that would be super. “Great. Say, I noticed a park where there are lots of pigeons nearby - Maybe we could go feed the pigeons one day before classes start. My parents said college life is great, and one of the best things you can do is get a roommate to do all sorts of fun things with.”
“Oh. Well, gee, Bert, I guess I’m not into pigeons like you. But, maybe you could bring home a pigeon and we could have him as a pet. After all, I’ve got rubber ducky. Right, rubber ducky?“ He squeaked the duck.
Bert was stunned for a second before regrouping. “A pet? Hmmmm. As a matter of fact, you may be onto something. I did have a few favorites back home. And, they said we could keep small pets.” He unpacked his bottle cap collection from his duffle bag. “Anyway, we should go sign up for our courses.”
“Oh, sure, Bert.” They left the apartment once more.
Once they were done registering, and in the newspaper staff‘s office, Bert asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to sign up for the newspaper staff?”
“Well, gee, Bert, I don’t know. What would we do?”
“Well, Ernie, as I said, it’s very important for reporters to know the 5 W’s and the H. The first one is Who.?”
“What?”
“No, no, that’s the second one. The first one is Who.”
“Gee, Bert, I don’t know. My guess would be you.”
Bert shook his head. “No, Ernie, W. When you write, the most important thing you want to tell the readers is who the article is about.”
“Oooooh, I see. Okay, so, the first one is Who?”
“Yes, and then there’s What.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ernie, Ernie…What is the second W.”
“I just told you, Bert, I don’t know what the second W is. I‘m not even sure what the first W is.”
“That’s why I’m telling you. And, What can’t be both W’s.”
“Why, sure it can’t, Bert? You know, like the 3 most important things when selling real estate - location, location, location.”
“Okay, Ernie, never mind that. Now, you have Who and What, next is When…”
“Now?”
“Right, now.”
“Is what?”
Bert groaned as numerous other Anything Muppets began to congregate in the newspaper office to listen. “Ernie, I just told you, What is the second W.”
“I don’t know wht’s the second W.”
“There, good, good,” Bert said, holding out his hands, “you’ve finally said it.”
“Said what, Bert?”
“Exactly. Now, as I was saying, next you have When. The first two are crucial, usually a reporter will want to mention when it happened.”
“When what happened?”
“Whatever the story’s about.”
“Why?”
“No, no, Ernie, that’s the fifth, there’s one before why.”
“One what before why?”
“Yes, yes, what is before why, but there’s something between what and why. It’s Where.”
“Well, you just told me, Bert; it’s between What and Why.”
“I know I told you that, Ernie,” Bert said, slightly exasperated.
“So?” Ernie asked, “What is it?”
“Ernie, it’s not what. What cannot be between itself and Why.”
Ernie shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Look, look, Ernie. Say I’m writing an article. I want to say Bert and Ernie - that’s who.”
“You and me.”
“Exactly. We moved into college and became roommates, that’s what happened.”
“Otday.”
Bert nodded, thinking Ernie had gotten it. “Exactly, that’s when. Now, they don’t have to be order in my article, and not all the W’s need to be in there. But, if I wanted to put all five W’s in there, I might say Bert and Ernie moved into college and became roommates today at 123 Sesame, because they were already becoming best friends.”
“Okay, so let me see if I have this,” Ernie remarked, thinking as he spoke. “You write about who doing what where, when they did it, and why.”
“Precisely! Oh, Ernie, Ernie, I think you’ve got it. There’s just one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“How.”
“Oh, that’s easy Bert. You take a pen, and start writing stuff down…” He grabs a pen and begins scribbling.
“Ernie, that’s not what I mean. I mean, How tells how the W‘s accomplished what they did.”
“Well, sure it does, Bert,” Ernie insisted. “It tells you that some guy named Who did something, and why Who did what, except between knowing what and why, Who has to pick a time to kno when.”
Bert sighed heavily. “Ernie, you have this all mixed up.”
“Well, if I do, I think you’re even more mixed up, Bert.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, you said there are five W’s and an H, right?” He agreed. “Well, actually, Bert, Who, What, Where, When, and Why all have an ‘h’ after the w. And ‘how’ has a W on the end.” Bert’s eyebrows rose - he was stunned at the weird way Ernie was looking at it. “So you don’t have 5 W’s and an H. You really have 6 W’s and 6 H’s.” Bert stared ahead, completely dumbfounded. “I don’t know if I’ll be on the newspaper with you, Bert. But I know we’ll make a great comedy team if nothing else.”
, on why they don't have jobs yet seem fairly adultlike. Plus, their "first skit together."Bert & Ernie: First Day of College
It was a typical day on the campus of Northeast Southwestern New York City U. as incoming students began to register. Bands of Anything Muppets roamed the campus as a yellow Muppet with a tall face stepped out of his brother Bart’s car. “Hey, thanks for the lift, Bart.” He looked around at the large buildings. “Wow!”
“No problem. College is gonna be great. You sure you got everything?”
“Oh, yes, yes, I’m sure. Listen, you’ll have to let me know when your wife has her baby.”
“Oh, I will. If it’s a boy, we know we’re naming him Brad.”
“Super! Wow, that dorm look crowded.“ More Anything Muppets than the dorm can handle go rushing in, and it blows up like a balloon before going back to its normal size when they all come rushing out a moment later. “I won’t have much peace and quiet there.”
“Maybe there’s an apartment around here; you can always keep your room deposit and just check it out.”
“That would be swell. Maybe they’ll have some information on one of the bulletin boards at the student commons. Hey, I better go. Give my regards to everyone at home.” He grabbed a bag and left. “Wow,” he said again as he looked around.
Meanwhile, an orange Muppet with a longer, not so tall head was saying goodbye to his family. “Okay, see ya ‘round like a doughnut. Get it - round like a doughnut.” He gave a laugh that would soon be famous. “Give my regards to Broadway. Oh, and remember me to Herald Square.” They left.
“Hi! Hey, I couldn’t help but hear; you know someone on Broadway? That is so amazing! I mean, do you realize how much time and energy you have to devote to be on Broadway?”
“Well, actually, that was a joke. See, there was this song by the same title.”
Bert was deflated. “Oh.“ After a minute, he finally figured out how to recover. “Anyway, I’m Bert.”
“Hey, I’m Ernie, glad to know ya, pal. Say, you looking for a roommate?”
“Well, as a matter of fact…I had a room in that dormitory, but it seems so noisy.” A large orchestra suddenly began playing inside the same dormitory, causing it to shake. Fireworks began exploding above it. A herd of elephants went stampeding across the front lawn. “I just wonder if there’s someplace quieter.”
“I see what you mean, ol’ pal.”
“Ol…old pal? We just met.”
Ernie reassured him, “That’s okay, Bert. I like being friends with anyone. Let’s go check out the student commons, and see if they’ve got anything on the bulletin board.”
They walked into the commons to be greeted by a fuzzy blue assistant. “Hello, my name is Grover. I will be right with you,” he promised, before turning to a fat blue Graduate student. “Now then, you are ready to sign up to do your Masters thesis?”
“Yes, I would really like to do my thesis on cactus.”
“On cactus, you say?”
“Yes, I want to do my thesis on cactus. I hope that’s not a problem.”
“Oh, not at all. Coming right up.”
Before Fat Blue knew it, he shouted in pain, as Grover had pressed a button and a large cactus had risen from the ground. It had pushed him five feet in the air. “Help! Get me down!”
“But, what is wrong? You said you wished to do your thesis on cactus, and you are on a cactus.”
“For one thing, how do I get to the library from here?!” Fat Blue screamed.
“I assure you that your cactus is completely mobile.”
“Well, I don’t want to do my thesis on cactus anymore. I want to cover daisies.”
“Coming right up.” Another button pressed, and the cactus ejected him.
Fat Blue went flying and landed covering a bed of daisies. “Am I glad I never told him about my desire to go into ancient history when I came here.”
Grover looked at Bert and Ernie and said, “Do not worry, it is normal for college students to change their majors or their thesis subjects quite often once they arrive. And what may I do for you?”
“Well, Ernie and I were going to look into sharing an apartment. Is there one available near campus?”
“Let me check.” He looked at a book. “Yes, of course. I almost forgot. There is one rightr near where I live. It is a lovely little apartment for rent at 123 Sesame.”
“Oh, wonderful. Hey, I’m Ernie, by the way, and this is Bert.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you. And, will you be interested in any extracurricular activities?”
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, I just want to have fun while I’m here. I might do something with the school, but I think I’m more in the area of public service. You know, work with children and things like that. I read on your brochure that there are a lot of opportunities for that.”
“Yes, there are quite a few, my good man. And, how about you, Bert?”
“Well, I like that, too, but I also wanted to join the newspaper staff. I always thought reporting would be interesting.”
“Oh, yes, Bert, reporting. I love to learn, don’t you, Bert?”
“Yes, but I’m more interested in how one writes an article. You see, Ernie,” Bert said as Grover gave them directions to 123 Sesame, “my favorite letter is W. And reporters learn very early the importance of the 5 W’s and the H.”
Bert and Ernie picked up their bags. As they walked the dozen or so blocks to 123 Sesame, Bert considered that he liked Ernie a lot. Ernie seemed along the way to be the kind who might not study near as much, but he doubted that would be too big of a problem. After all, they were building a fast friendship.
They quickly found the place and filled out papers to share the rent and responsibilities. It was a lovely apartment in the basement of a building several stories tall. It seemed just right for a couple college students price-wise and for convenience.
“Hmmm, let’s see - ah, here he is.”
“Here who is?” Bert asked as they unpacked.
“Why, my rubber ducky, of course.” He began singing the Rubber Ducky song.
“Oh, well, that’s fine, Ernie. Anyway, did you read the brochure about the archaeological expedition. If we sign up for the same ancient history course at the same time, we can go to Egypt together.” Ernie said that would be super. “Great. Say, I noticed a park where there are lots of pigeons nearby - Maybe we could go feed the pigeons one day before classes start. My parents said college life is great, and one of the best things you can do is get a roommate to do all sorts of fun things with.”
“Oh. Well, gee, Bert, I guess I’m not into pigeons like you. But, maybe you could bring home a pigeon and we could have him as a pet. After all, I’ve got rubber ducky. Right, rubber ducky?“ He squeaked the duck.
Bert was stunned for a second before regrouping. “A pet? Hmmmm. As a matter of fact, you may be onto something. I did have a few favorites back home. And, they said we could keep small pets.” He unpacked his bottle cap collection from his duffle bag. “Anyway, we should go sign up for our courses.”
“Oh, sure, Bert.” They left the apartment once more.
Once they were done registering, and in the newspaper staff‘s office, Bert asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to sign up for the newspaper staff?”
“Well, gee, Bert, I don’t know. What would we do?”
“Well, Ernie, as I said, it’s very important for reporters to know the 5 W’s and the H. The first one is Who.?”
“What?”
“No, no, that’s the second one. The first one is Who.”
“Gee, Bert, I don’t know. My guess would be you.”
Bert shook his head. “No, Ernie, W. When you write, the most important thing you want to tell the readers is who the article is about.”
“Oooooh, I see. Okay, so, the first one is Who?”
“Yes, and then there’s What.”
“I don’t know.”
“Ernie, Ernie…What is the second W.”
“I just told you, Bert, I don’t know what the second W is. I‘m not even sure what the first W is.”
“That’s why I’m telling you. And, What can’t be both W’s.”
“Why, sure it can’t, Bert? You know, like the 3 most important things when selling real estate - location, location, location.”
“Okay, Ernie, never mind that. Now, you have Who and What, next is When…”
“Now?”
“Right, now.”
“Is what?”
Bert groaned as numerous other Anything Muppets began to congregate in the newspaper office to listen. “Ernie, I just told you, What is the second W.”
“I don’t know wht’s the second W.”
“There, good, good,” Bert said, holding out his hands, “you’ve finally said it.”
“Said what, Bert?”
“Exactly. Now, as I was saying, next you have When. The first two are crucial, usually a reporter will want to mention when it happened.”
“When what happened?”
“Whatever the story’s about.”
“Why?”
“No, no, Ernie, that’s the fifth, there’s one before why.”
“One what before why?”
“Yes, yes, what is before why, but there’s something between what and why. It’s Where.”
“Well, you just told me, Bert; it’s between What and Why.”
“I know I told you that, Ernie,” Bert said, slightly exasperated.
“So?” Ernie asked, “What is it?”
“Ernie, it’s not what. What cannot be between itself and Why.”
Ernie shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Look, look, Ernie. Say I’m writing an article. I want to say Bert and Ernie - that’s who.”
“You and me.”
“Exactly. We moved into college and became roommates, that’s what happened.”
“Otday.”
Bert nodded, thinking Ernie had gotten it. “Exactly, that’s when. Now, they don’t have to be order in my article, and not all the W’s need to be in there. But, if I wanted to put all five W’s in there, I might say Bert and Ernie moved into college and became roommates today at 123 Sesame, because they were already becoming best friends.”
“Okay, so let me see if I have this,” Ernie remarked, thinking as he spoke. “You write about who doing what where, when they did it, and why.”
“Precisely! Oh, Ernie, Ernie, I think you’ve got it. There’s just one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“How.”
“Oh, that’s easy Bert. You take a pen, and start writing stuff down…” He grabs a pen and begins scribbling.
“Ernie, that’s not what I mean. I mean, How tells how the W‘s accomplished what they did.”
“Well, sure it does, Bert,” Ernie insisted. “It tells you that some guy named Who did something, and why Who did what, except between knowing what and why, Who has to pick a time to kno when.”
Bert sighed heavily. “Ernie, you have this all mixed up.”
“Well, if I do, I think you’re even more mixed up, Bert.”
“How do you figure that?”
“Well, you said there are five W’s and an H, right?” He agreed. “Well, actually, Bert, Who, What, Where, When, and Why all have an ‘h’ after the w. And ‘how’ has a W on the end.” Bert’s eyebrows rose - he was stunned at the weird way Ernie was looking at it. “So you don’t have 5 W’s and an H. You really have 6 W’s and 6 H’s.” Bert stared ahead, completely dumbfounded. “I don’t know if I’ll be on the newspaper with you, Bert. But I know we’ll make a great comedy team if nothing else.”
