ASK THE GREAT FOZZINI (Spring 2004 Ed.)

[christyb]

Ouch, that means my fare is going to go up. Can I set up some form of payment plan?? You know you get my first child type of thing?

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Ew! No. But, I'll send you my car notes to pay...

THE GREAT FOZZINI MUST MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT:
Due to a recent falling out with Billy, who used to be a friend and who fell into drugs and alcohol too deeply for the rest of us to pull him back from his new crowd (and THE GREAT FOZZINI suggest you DO NOT follow his lead) and the namesake of The Spirit of Billy the Psychic Rubber Chicken, the character of The Spirit of Billy the Psychic Rubber Chicken is hereafter being left in the hereafter and being retired from all future Fozzini games.

Instead, the character will be replaced by Groucho the Rubber Chicken (who isn't psychic just yet, so we cannot refer to him for answers from the Great Beyond, but we will refer to him).

Still, I've had plenty of time to reach into my trunk of tricks and knowledge and will be consulting any number of these items to tell your fortune, advise your questions and personalize your queries of the cosmos!

These articles of my magic trunk are my
INTERGALACTIC PORKPIE HAT (Here I am with it here----> )
CRYSTAL BANANA
FORENSIC FUZZY-NOSE GLASSES
and...
Groucho, The Rubber Chicken

Ask away folks...

 

[Vic Romano]

Oh wise and powerful Fozzini:
How do you politely tell your co-worker that his breath is so bad it could strip the varnish off a foot locker? This is a real problem I got and I'm about to die from holding my breath, help!

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Oh wise and powerful Fozzini:
How do you politely tell your co-worker that his breath is so bad it could strip the varnish off a foot locker? This is a real problem I got and I'm about to die from holding my breath, help!

Indeed, The Great Fozzini knows what it is to be suffered by the breath of a co-worker!

In my case, my desk is against the wall, and opposite where customers and others sit, I have a small fan which I turn on as I say, "I'm a little warm, pardon me a second." Thusly, body odors (internal or external), including smokers or drunks, the scent is then blown away by the fan.

In other cases, I do keep mints on hand for myself (I'm paranoid about bad breath) or others (who need it!). You take one yourself and then you offer them one, "I love these mints; try one." If they refuse, look them in the eye and say, "Please, try one." If they continue to refuse, you say, "Look, please, have one. You need it! Something died in your mouth and it's really funky!"

If they continue to refuse, call the EPA.

 

[Harvey Towers]

Foz,

How do you explain to your co-worker that the two of you are stuck in an endless succession of ridiculously outlandish jobs, probably never to escape?

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Foz,

How do you explain to your co-worker that the two of you are stuck in an endless succession of ridiculously outlandish jobs, probably never to escape?

I say, "There's no way out. We're doomed." And she agrees.

 

[Beakerfan]

Hey Fozzini, when you run for president next election, which party will you be running for?

 

[theprawncracker]

Oh great Fozzini! Will I be happy with my family's move?

 

[Beakerfan]

Hey, Foz. How long will it take?

 

[Fozzie Bear]

INDEED! Thine wanderers of knowledge necessities have born forth your questions bequesting the response of The Great Fozzini who, in all his infiniteness prolly should start checking the threads he starts more often...

WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY!!!!

Hey Fozzini, when you run for president next election, which party will you be running for? Hey, Foz. How long will it take?

While the only political interest I have results in my ruling the world, I will be running as a candidate for the Birthday Party! CAKE FOR ALL!!!!

And it takes as long as it takes for me to find the thread again...silly bear that I am.

Oh great Fozzini! Will I be happy with my family's move?

A-HAH! You ask a question of your Great Fozzini which requires us to check into the future!! Therefore and hence-to-thither, I bring out of my trunk THE CRYSTAL BANANA! As I gaze into the crystal banana, I see a picket fence, and a barn with a weather vane; a running horse and an elderly woman whose face is care-worn, and she's wearing an apron and...wait! Sorry, I need to change the frequency.

THERE! I see... The answer is originally there will be some adjusting, and in that adjustment you will have inner anxieties which make you question the move, but be quick to make new friends for that will be the main step toward your happiness. Your new friends will lend themselves subconsiously as a means to your coping, and ultimately (and sooner than you think) you will be pleased with the move.