Another Stupid movie to Overreact to...

[BlakeConor14]

Not to mention the orgie at the end

So far, the biggest "rotten tomato" to steer clear of would have to be that horrible Sausage Party Movie, which is rated R and is chock full of the "F-word" in addition to other potentially nasty situations....

 

[crackmaster]

Decided to bump the thread to tell you about the latest decision going on over at film industries that's made me jump joyfully out of my seat.

When Sonic got redesigned for the first Sonic the Hedgehog movie, we all cheered. Then they decided it was not enough...

As if Bloodsport wasn't hot enough already...GOSH DANG YOU, IDRIS ELBA!!!! DANG YOU!!!!!!!

 

[crackmaster]

As for a Tom Slick movie...ehhhhh... It's not just that I don't think that ever would have been commercially viable, I don't even think Jay Ward and co ever cared for Tom Slick. I've read "The Moose that Roared" cover to cover back and forth up and down in and out, and one of the many things that stuck with me is that the writers really didn't like doing it and felt like it was just there to fill out the half hour of George of the Jungle. One of them even made it appoint to mention that Wacky Races was the more popular use of the concept.

Speed Racer was the better live-action film based on a racing cartoon. It had sexy Matthew Fox, and for my dA friend Minami-Kousaka, Rain. Racer X is pretty much the Japanese Space Ghost, so I'd like to see Matthew Fox play Space Ghost in a future live-action film.

 

[crackmaster]

Okay, I relent. Sonic 2 is good. I never said it was bad, I just didn't want to simp for Knuckles. He sounds like Aku Aku and almost Tiny, and not hot at all. Like a comedic version of the Black Panther. (I think he's Jamaican, though.) But as I said in the Worst CGI Kids Films thread...

However, this abomination appeared in the trailers:

This is everything wrong with a kids' movie. Overused fourth wall breaking gags? Check. Fart jokes? Check. Obvious fetish-pandering stuff? Check. And, of course... who's behind it? Nickelodeon Movies!! The same people who made Rango almost ten years ago!! I shouldn't be surprised it's by Nickelodeon, given the weird fetishy stuff they like to put in their kids' shows (The Loud House, SpongeBob seasons 5 and 6, almost anything by Dan Schneider...) And the PLOT seems like it's a ripoff of a WAY better show from almost FIFTY YEARS PRIOR...

Even "Hank" or whoever he's called looks visually similar to Hong Kong Phooey. I would also say it rips off Kung Fu Panda, but it's CLEAR they were going with Hong Kong Phooey. I really wish they had made that animated series in 2018 or so but nope.

And I thought the snake scene from Secret Life of Pets 2 was cringeworthy... STOP GROOMING CHILDREN TO YOUR SICK STUFF!!

 

[AquaGGR]

Teaser for the “live action” Pinocchio remake dropped today, because apparently some huge mystery constituency exists out there champing at the bit for Disney to keep pumping these out.

But just seeing “legendary director Robert Zemeckis” and “Pinocchio” together immediately made me conjure up mental images of the most nightmarish CGI imaginable. I almost assumed they don’t actually show Pinocchio himself in the teaser because he looks scary as **** or something, like first trailer Sonic levels of uncanny valley.

 

[The Count]

Oh, so this is about the Disney live-action remake and not the Guillermo DelToro live-action Pinocchio stand-alone film. Good to know. Not that I'm really interested in it at this point, but I try to keep up-to-date with the Upcoming Films category at the Disney Wiki in terms of release dates to see how/when they get removed. Which Deep Waters should have been removed back in mid-March.

Still looking forward to Hocus Pocus 2 on Sept 30 and The Munsters whenever that gets released.

 

[AquaGGR]

I don’t think either one is getting a theatrical release (Del Toro’s is a Netflix project IIRC) but I almost wish they both did, solely to have dueling Pinocchios at the box office for the first and only time ever.

Lionsgate is also dropping a Russian animated adaptation this year with Pauly Shore as Pinocchio, which went viral on TikTok a few months ago because of the “yassified” voice he gave him. I don’t know which makes less sense: 2022 being the year of Pinocchio remakes, or the sentence I typed just before this.