Anger, Court, and Mayhem!!!

[Katzi428]

Looks good so far Ryan!

 

[ryhoyarbie]

You know, I should get more replies. I want feedback people. If you hate it, tell me your reasons. If you think it's okay, then tell me how I can improve it. I don't care if your opinion is negative, I just want some feedback people.



KAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!......

Sorry, I'm not at startrek.com, but that's what I do sometimes to get people's attention........

ryan

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Flashback to 1985 to reveal Kermit checking some notes on his pad and standing at the edge of the stage while other muppets were sitting in the seats of the theater.

"Okay, Lobbock Lou, you and your jug band can have the opening act," Kermit said as he was looking over his notes.

"Oh gee, thanks so much Kermit," said Lou.

"Ya, gee gally, the opening number is great for us," said Zeke.

"Excellent, and then the next number will involve out guest star, Gene Hackman, walking in as robber of a bank. Rizzo, Hilda, Miss Mousy, and Scooter will be in that sketch.

"Oh thank you for letting me be in a sketch Kermit," Hilda said kindly.

"You're welcome Hilda," Kermit replied back looking at Hilda.

"I've been apart of this show as the person providing wardrobes and now I can be in a sketch. Thank you again Kermit," Hilda said.

"No problem," Kermit answered back.

"Next we," Kermit said before being interrupted by Hilda.

""I enjoy providing costumes for people here but I have been wanting to be in a sketch for a long time now. Again thank you Kermit," Hilda said again.

"Hilda, could we get back to the agenda," Kermit asked.

Hilda nodded at Kermit, a little embarrassed that she went overboard with thanking Kermit.

"Then we have Fozzies monologue which more than likely will get heckled by Statler and Waldorf which more than likely will have Gene Hackman come out and help Fozzie," as Kermit continued reading down his notes.

"Hey, what if Statler and Waldorf like my jokes this week," said Fozzie.

Everyone looked at Fozzie.

"It could happen," Fozzie said looking at everybody trying to see what they would say.

"Okay, next up, we have Rowlf on the piano and Miss Piggy, Pops, and Link singing "Summer Wind."

Talk Spot comes up next with me talking to Gene Hackman about his movie career.

"Ooo, Kermie can I be in that too," asked Piggy.

"Sure why not, just try not to go crazy over him in the sketch or in the back stage when he's there, Kermit warned Piggy.

Piggy nodded back to Kermit.

"Okay next up we have a sketch about a hopeful singer trying to get his big break played by Fozzie. Although Fozzie has to go through some judges that include Rowlf, Animal, and an extra," Kermit said as he was looking down his notes.

"That sounds like a show that will be done in about fifteen years from now," Gonzo said. "I predict it will become very popular."

"Finally, Gene Hackman wanted to perform with the Electric Mayhem so you guys said you're going to sing what now with him?" Kermit said while looking at the Eletric Mayhem.

"'Jazz Man' baby," Dr. Teeth remarked.

"Jazz Man Baby?" said a confused Beauregard. "Is that a song?"

Everybody ignored Bearegard.

"Hackman said he's been fine tuning his playing skills on the saxaphone," said Floyd.

Zoot, who was a sleep at the time, woke up.

"Wha, what? What about this new saxaphone dude?" asked Zoot. "Is he going to replace me?"

Rowlf looked at Zoot.

"Nope. Just go back to sleep and, well sleep," said Rowlf.

Zoot went back to sleep.

"Okay, any questions?" Kermit said as he looked around across the room.

Beauregard raised his hand.

"Yes Beau," Kermit responded.

"Last night I was watching tv and then suddenly I blacked out. The next morning I awoke," Beauregard said. "I was trying to recall what happened to me for the past 7 hours."

"Beau, you feel a sleep," Kermit said.

"Oh ya, I forgot what that was called," Beau said as the light clicked on.

Kermit shook his head while some of the others started to hit their heads with their fists. Could Beauregard be that dumb?

"Anything else?" Kermit asked as he was looking around the room. "Okay, dismissed everyone."

The muppets started to get out of their seats.

'Electric Mayhem, you guys are up on stage if you want to practice your song," Kermit said as he was looking at his notes and walking off heading towards the back stage.

"Hold on a minute everyone," Miss Piggy said as she was trying ot get everyones attention. "Moi has something important to tell all you little people."

Piggy glarred at Floyd and then looked at the other muppets.

"You calling me little lady?" Sweetums asked as he moved over to piggy and toward over her.

"Uh hum, no.....No I'm not," Piggy said to Sweetums trying to get him to back off.

Sweetums moved away from Piggy.

"Tonight, I am going to be in court at eight pm. Moi, the lovely lady who did not cause any trouble vs the jerk, the man who causes grief, pain and sorrow in my life," Piggy said as she got a piece of cloth and started to cry a little.

"Oh come on, that crying is clearly fake. It's staged man, it's an act." Floyd said trying to convince everybody.

"Well you better get ready to cry because that's what you're going to be doing after I win this case!" Piggy said as she walked away with her head held high to show confidence in herself.

"Nice knowing you Floyd, have a nice life," remarked Scooter.

"In my next act when I shoot myself out of a cannon, I'll dedicate my performance to you," Gonzo said as he padded Floyds left shoulder.

Kermit looked at Floyd, sighed and then went to the back stage. He heard a phone ringing and picked it up.

"Ya, ya, uh huh, just a second," Kermit said as he put the phone down. "Swedish Chef, you have a phone call."

The Swedish Chef came from the stage and had a knife with him. The Chef picked up the phone.

"Vu?" said the Chef. "Uh huh, vern loo, vern loo, ya."

Kermit watched the Chef talk.

"HOON! VER LE DA VER DA VOO VOO!!' The Swedish Chef yelled. "VER DER LA NO NO VA YIP YIP ROO LERN VOO!!!

The Swedish Chef hung up the phone and started to cut it to pieces. Kermit stopped the Chef before he completely destroyed the phone.

"Ver de bas der no," the Swedish Chef said as he walked away.

Kermit watched the Swedish Chef walk away from the back stage. "Yeesh, I don't even know what he said but I'm scared of him when he gets that crazy."

ryan

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Like I said before, somebody give me some opinions. I want to know if it's good or bad. Don't feel bad if you give me negative comments. It only makes me strive to make this story better. Besides, other peoples stroies seem to get more replies, except mine.....

ryan

 

[Beauregard]

Ok. I just got around tor eading this. And I like it!

I think the Mayhem's lines are great, and you have put in some good se out of the old charcters, Beau, Mildred, etc. And the new characters liek Johnny and Sal.

I'll be interested to see where this is going..

 

[TogetherAgain]

ryhoyarbie, I'm so sorry I haven't been commenting!!!! I have been reading and enjoying and please don't think it's bad because I love it I just haven't had time to post much lately (hence the utter lack of progress in my own story) actually I haven't really had time to read either but I did anyway because... um... I'm disobedient like that! But I do love it, really I do, and I anxiously await the next chapter!!!!!!

And since I know it's nervewracking to not have a lot of replies...

"You're welcome and please, don't look at me that way. People around here we'll think we're married," Kermit said as he got up and started to move to the door.

HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love that line.

"But we are married," Piggy reminded Kermit.

"Ya, right, and Gonzo is actually an alien from space," Kermit said while walking out the door.

Step one- laugh. Step two- remember that this conversation took place pre-Muppets From Space. Step three- laugh even harder.

"OUT!!!! Go, go, go!!" Kermit yelled at Gonzo.

Here, I applaud you. Because you've captured perfectly something that I tend to forget- how many times did Kermit run out of patience backstage during The Muppet Show? ...a lot...

"I wonder if Beaker would want to do this. He gets blown up all the time. It should be second nature to him."

Step four- keep laughing....

Rowlf looked at Fozzie and Sam and all three walked back a few steps.

And the tension is growing, and growing, and growing, and...

"That does it! HI-YA!!!!!"

...and it exploded!

Zoot slapped Floyd upside the head. "Would you stop this craziness man," Zoot said to Floyd. "It's late, and I want to sleep. I can't handle this stress, and I'm hungry, and I need to go to the bathroom."

I applaud this. Actually, I laugh out loud at it for a few minutes. THEN I applaud it.

The muppets were shocked and gasps came out. Then suddenly the theme to "Night Court" played which caused everybody to look around to see where the music was coming from. Confused looks came from their faces.

I said it before and I'll say it again... I applaud this. Actually, I laugh out loud at it for a few minutes. THEN I applaud it.

"See I never let women control me okay. That's why if they get out of control, I smack them. I smack them until I get them to obey me, okay," Pepe said.

<rolls eyes> Yeah, that's the same ol' Pepe we all know and hate- I mean love? I mean... Um... just ignore me... Wait no don't ignore me! I'm about to start laughing again! See I laugh from here...

"That explains why you haven't had a date any while, shrimp," Zippity Zap said.

to here...

"Ya, he disappeared with the women Pepe smacked," Bobo said laughing.

And then I remember how to breathe for a couple of lines, but I start laughing again right about here...

"Say, why don't you ask a question for once," Bobo asked Sal.

And then I keep laughing right up to the end of the chapter! Which brings us to... alright it's a lot to quote, but the whole thing with Hilda interrupting Kermit by saying thankyou a bajillion times? I love that!

"Then we have Fozzies monologue which more than likely will get heckled by Statler and Waldorf which more than likely will have Gene Hackman come out and help Fozzie," as Kermit continued reading down his notes.

<blink> so THAT'S how they planned the show without really planning it, huh? I was wondering that... very well done!

"Hey, what if Statler and Waldorf like my jokes this week," said Fozzie.

Everyone looked at Fozzie.

"It could happen," Fozzie said looking at everybody trying to see what they would say.

Heh... I love it...

"That sounds like a show that will be done in about fifteen years from now," Gonzo said. "I predict it will become very popular."

I applaud! ...ok, so once again, I actually laugh for a few minutes and THEN applaud, but...

"Jazz Man Baby?" said a confused Beauregard. "Is that a song?"

Yeah, that's Beauregard...

"Nope. Just go back to sleep and, well sleep," said Rowlf.

Ha! I love it love it love it!!!

"Last night I was watching tv and then suddenly I blacked out. The next morning I awoke," Beauregard said. "I was trying to recall what happened to me for the past 7 hours."

"Beau, you feel a sleep," Kermit said.

"Oh ya, I forgot what that was called," Beau said

Now that's just classic.

"You calling me little lady?" Sweetums asked as he moved over to piggy and toward over her.

Once again, classic. I love it!

"HOON! VER LE DA VER DA VOO VOO!!' The Swedish Chef yelled. "VER DER LA NO NO VA YIP YIP ROO LERN VOO!!!

I'll let you know when I stop laughing...

Kermit watched the Swedish Chef walk away from the back stage. "Yeesh, I don't even know what he said but I'm scared of him when he gets that crazy."

Okay, I stopped laughing, um... a little after I read that...

And now I'm eagerly anticipating the next chapter!!!!!!

 

[ryhoyarbie]

Man, you really did like this story.......

By the way, I threw in the Swedish Chef bit for the heck of it. Didn't go with the story, but what the heck huh.

ryan

 

[ryhoyarbie]

It was night time at the court house. As Kermit and the gang walked into the court room to take a seat for the trail, Kermit and others noticed two people near the tables, probably the lawyers for Floyd and Piggy Kermit though. There was a man, a man with black hair mixed in with some gray and white. He was wearing a gray suit, plain black dress shoes, and a white dress shirt and a gray tie, typical regular fashion wear for lawyers. The man who Kermit and company will get to know is Dan Fielding.

The other lawyer at her desk reading over the case was Christine Sullivan. Her wardrobe was mor eimpressive. She had on a dar blue suit, pants and sports coat. The shirt she wore underneath was black but she was also wearing a blue short tie. She had dirty blond hair that reached to her shoulders.

"Oh, that woman is wearing some nice clothers. I must compliment her," Hilda said looking at Christine sullivans clothing.

Hilda made a disgusting face as she turned to look at Dans clothing. "Oh my, what hideous clothing. That man should consult me with a more colorful suit," Hilda added.

"Ah, I don't think they care to have your imput," Scooter responded.

"Why not, everyone likes my imput, that's why I'm the waredrobe lady," Hilda responded to Scooters comment.

"But, you...." Scooter said before being interupting.

"It's not going to work son. I've tried it before, but with her and every other woman, once they get their minds set, there's no stopping them with what damage they can do," Pops chimed in.

"Boy, you sure know a lot about this women making up their minds and sticking to it stuff," Scooter remarked, curious to how Pops came up with that logic.

"I learned this before I got a divorce from my wife. What a horrible period in my life," Pops reflected back to his days as a husband.

"Why because you got divorced?" Questioned Scooter.

"No, because I was married!" Pops chuckled at himself, leaving Scooter with a surprised look on his face.

Another man came in the court. This was Mac Robinson. He was wearing a flannel long sleeved red hirt, but had the sleeves rolled back near his elbows. he also had a light red sweater best on him and was wearing black pants and black shoes.

"Ah, look at that man and what he is wearing Kermit. I should go and talk to him and...." Hilda said.

"Hilda, we're not on the muppet show. This is a court house, and people don't care what these people wear to work," Kermit responded, inturrupting Hilda.

A large woman, wearing bright color clothing and green eye shadow approached the table where Dan was at.

"Hey, those clothes your wearing should get you arrested since they're so bland," replied the woman.

"Listen lady this is a court of law, not a fashion scene," Dan said as he turned around to face the lady. "and further more I make more.....Ah, what the heck!!"

Dan had a disgusted face as he saw the woman for the first time. She looked like she was wearing a green moo-moo instead of a dress.

"Like what you see handsom?" The lady asked.

"Ya, I like what I see, that's why I screamed when I saw you for the first time," Dan sarcastically said.

"I see where you're going with this. I like the way I am, and if you don't like it then....." the large lady said before trailing off.

The woman grabbed Dan by his gray tie and pulled him to her.

"Please don't eat me. I'm not that edible," Dan said begging for his life.

"I'm not going to eat you. I want you to tell all your friends about me. I'm Mimi Bobeck!" Mimi said.

She then let Dan go and headed back to her seat.

"See I told you other people were concerned about the clothing around here," Hilda said looking at Kermit.

"Ya, especially when that woman looks like a side show from a carnival," Kermit replied back.

As Dan tried to regain his composure, baliff Roz Russell approached Dan.

"Your date for tonight?" Roz sarcastically asked.

"Yes that's my date for tonight," Dan sarcastically asnwered back in a childs voice. "First we're going to the all you can eat chinease buffet over on 57th street, followed by the all you can eat barbecue buffet on Main street, and then I'm hoping after that to get her ten gallons of ice cream from the store, hoping the stores are still open."

"Another typical night for you, huh Fielding?" Roz remarked as she walked away from Dan. Dan gave a sour face back at Roz as she walked off.

"I remember my first time in court," Gonzo recalled fondly.

"You were in court before?" Rizzo asked, curious as to what happned to Gonzo.

"I wanted to do my biggest stunt live on camera for everybody to see on the Muppet Show back in 1980," Gonzo began telling Rizzo the story. "I wanted to blast myself out of a cannon on top of the Empire State Building and see how far I could fly in the air.

"So what happend?" Rizzo replied wanting to know what happened.

"I flew across the city. But when I landed on the ground, the police took me away and I was tried for thirty years," Gonzo recalled.

"Holey smoke!" Rizzo almost coughed while responding. "Why are you here then?"

"As soon as I got in jail, I started to perform all sorts of crazy acts the other inmates and guards couldn't stand and the police let me go instead of being tortured to death with my insane acts!"

"What sort of acts did you do." Asked Rizzo.

"One of them was plucking my under arm hairs and trying to play 'Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star'," Gozno replied. "And another one was..."

"Wait, I don't want to know the others," Rizzo said interruppting Gonzo. "It's a good thing you and I aren't friends. I don't know if I could hang out with a weirdo."

Gonzo's eyelids widened at Rizzo. Gonzo's whole definition of life was being as weird as possible.

As everyone was getting settled in their seats, a tall ballheaded man entered the room wearing a typical police uniform, like what Roz was wearing.

"All rise. The honorable Judge Harold T. Stone now presiding," Bull Shannon said.

Everybody in the court room stood up as Harry Stone walked in. Judge Harry Stone was wearing a typical black judge uniform and had a blue dress shirt and black tie underneath his judge robes.

"Those robes would look better in some pastel red," Hilda quietly whispered to Kermit.

Kermit gave a scrounched look. He was getting tired of Hilda's clothing tips.

ryan


*And that's where I'm ending this story for now.........*

 

[TogetherAgain]

Ooh I like it! I like how Hilda kept commenting on everyone's clothes, and Rizzo's comment about "It's a good thing we're not friends..." I just loooooooove the dramatic irony there...
..."Dramatic irony?" ....Gah, I'm paying too much attention in English class again!

But anyway. MORE PLEASE!

 

[theprawncracker]

Wow! This is a great story Ry, sorry I haven't been commenting!