AlittleMayhem's Muppet Drabbles

[TwoHeadedLlama]

Your stuff gives me feels. Like, massive feels.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Your stuff gives me feels. Like, massive feels.

I'm sorry, I'll leave a warning next time. *hugs*

 

[AlittleMayhem]

AN:This fic was inspired by AnimatedC9000 and something they reblogged on tumblr. Now with added art! Enjoy!
-
Spring had been very busy for The Muppets this year, what with a new movie out and travelling the globe for promotions and premieres. It was for that reason that spring cleaning came much later than usual for the boarding house.

This was why, as soon as the fuss died down, Kermit ordered everyone to pull their weight this year. No matter how they all begged and whined and groaned and, in the case of a few rats, bribed. Everyone had to do their bit, no excuses.

About a couple of hours in, however, Kermit was beginning to regret that decision. It was a scorching hot day. Pepe had grumbled how they were stuck in a stuffy house when it was a gorgeous seventy degrees out. Piggy was worse, over-dramatizing how heavy a glass cleaner was and claiming to already have a heat stroke. Fozzie had gone as far as moving a large amount of books out of his and Rowlf’s room, then promptly took a nap on top of them. Gonzo had made a giant chicken sculpture in the garden out of his, Bunsen’s, Zoot’s and Beauregard’s junk, claiming it to be a present for some guy called Dave. Crazy Harry’s idea of spring cleaning had involved putting soap in his explosives. Well, at least the penguins were having fun soap skating around the living room…

Kermit sighed, wiping sweat from his brow (which was strange as he was a frog and shouldn’t sweat) and glaring at the overfilled attic. The heat was worse in here, with no windows to open. The dust was thick in the air, floating in the light bulb’s glow.

“Okay, Robin,” he said, tugging at his collar. “You go find your stuff and throw down to Beau any junk you don’t want anymore. I’ll start by sorting out these old photos.”

Robin looked at him tiredly, but the little frog gave him a fond salute. “You got it, Uncle Kermit!”

As he hoped away, Kermit pulled up an old stool and rummaging around the boxes marked photos. In these moments he found the heat and the ruckus downstairs more tolerable. He spent the next half hour flipping over photo after photo of days gone by, occasionally pausing at a few and smiling. Most were of their days of the Muppet Show still airing in which a guest star would pose with their favourite Muppet. Others were various personal one with him when he was in the Frog scouts or back in the swamp. A few were quite funny picture of his co-workers in their younger days. Boy, Fozzie really did have a terrible 80s haircut.

With two piles set at his side, Kermit cracked his fingers and began on the second box…and froze. He stared at the top photo, his eyes going wide. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, blinked again yet his mind could not fathom what he was seeing. He picked it up, just to convince himself it was real, when a slip of paper fell on his lap. He squinted at it, reading the bold.

“’Masters of Science in Media Arts and Science’?” he read aloud, aghast. He looked from the photo to the certificate and back again. “It can’t be.”

“Hey, Green Stuff!”

Kermit jumped, turning around to see Floyd climbing up the ladder followed by Janice. The Hipster was looking worse for wear, his shirt patchy with sweat and his hair loose and wild.

“Floyd, I told you!” Kermit said, frowning. “No jam sessions until you’ve taken the first load of recycling to the centre.”

“Done that,” Floyd answered, dabbing his neck with his collar. “We just came up here to give you the load-down on Gonzo’s little art show.”

“Fer sure,” Janice added. “He’s, like, gone too far. I think Zootie’s this close to going kablamo on him after Gonzo took his old records and glued them onto his-”

The blonde stopped mid-sentence, the colour draining from her cheeks. Kermit realised she noticed what he was looking at and he coughed. “Uh, this is yours, yeah?”

“What’s hers?” Floyd asked, peering at the items Kermit held up. This did not seem to make it any better. Floyd blinked, jaw hanging open at the image before him and Janice looked like she wanted the floor to give way beneath her and carry her to the earth’s centre.

“Is- is that you?” Floyd whispered, his voice faltering.

Janice stammered. “I- I- honey, I can explain this! I was just- I mean, it wasn’t rully my idea, my mother wanted me to go but I totally didn’t and then there was this big fight and she brought up my father and then I had to go but I rully couldn’t get my braces off oh my gosh I look horrible what was I thinking!? I shouldn’t have gone, it was so-”

“Fantastic!”

Janice stared. “Huh?”

Kermit gawked. “Huh?”

Robin, way at the other end of the attic, poked his head out of a box of stuffed toys. “Huh?”

“You heard me,” Floyd exclaimed, grinning and snatching the photo and certificate from Kermit. “Fantastic! Just look at that! I knew you were smart, but man, are you smart or are you smart!”

He had an excited glint in his eye Kermit had never seen before and it seemed to be shining especially for Janice.

“You- you don’t think I’m square?” Janice said, still dumbfounded.

“Square? HA! Yeah, a little but ya completed college! Man, me and Animal didn’t even last the first week! I’m proud of ya, baby!” He picked her up and kissed her on the cheek, making her squeak in surprise. “C’mon, we gotta show this to everyone!”
With that, the two musicians rushed out the attic excitedly, Janice now relieved of all embarrassment and giggling madly at Floyd’s enthusiasm.

The baffled silence that followed was broken by Robin. “What the heck was that?”

Kermit shook his head, smiling broadly. “That, Robin, was what I call a truly loving relationship.”

Robin scrunched up his face in disgust. “Mushy stuff,” he said, and promptly buried himself back into the stuffed toys again.
-

 

[charlietheowl]

Love the picture of Janice! She looks so cute with the braces.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Prompt fest!​

AN: Here are a bunch of prompts I got from AnimatedC900 over on my tumblr that I haven't shared here until now. Enjoy!

-

"There’s something I’ve been meaning to say…"​

Zoot raised his hand before Lips could say any more and coughed. That Christmas sing-a-long really got to his throat.

They stood out in the porch, the night sky bright from a full moon. It was still quite late, most still up and chattering noisily inside the farmhouse. The saxophonist had a feeling that Ma Bear would send them all to bed very soon, didn’t matter that most of them were adults.

“Sorry,” he said, sure that his throat was properly cleared. “What were you gonna say?”

Lips stared at him, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Err, you ok?”

Whatever it was, Lips snapped out of it and shook his head. “Sorry, yeah I’m fine.” He took a deep breath. “Listen, I have- I mean, lately I’ve been- I’ve kinda-”

He stopped speaking and stared at Zoot again. Zoot shifted his feet, not sure where he was going with this. “You’ve kinda what?”

“Boys!”

The two of them jumped. Mrs Bear stuck her head out the window. “What are you doing out here? You’ll catch a death! Get to bed quickly now, or Santa won’t visit.”

-

Animatedc9000 asked: We all know what Animal was doing in the Carol Burnett episode. But what about the rest of the Electric Mayhem (plus Rowlf and Dolores)? After all, Gonzo got a different orchestra to play for the dance competition.

“No!”

“Like, No way!”

“Nu-uh!”

“Uhh..”

“Absolutely and positively not!”

Gonzo’s jaw dropped. “What?! This is going to be terrific for the show! How could you say no?!”

Floyd moved a step closer so that they were nose to nose. “Like this. N.O!”

“But I thought you liked dances!” Gonzo whined, pushing Floyd away. “Zoot, you used to do it all the time back at the start!”

“I’m not twirling around cracking stupid jokes with someone I don’t know for half an hour,” Zoot said, tiredly.

“But that’s the thing! You’ll be playing the music, not dancing! Here, I have the music sheets!” He quickly handed them they sheets and each band member looked over them. Gonzo watched with some hope as they shared a glance between them.

Finally, Dr. Teeth spoke, “All those in favour of playing this lame gig for tonight’s show, say ‘Minnie the Moocher’!”

Silence.

“And all those in favour of spending this beautiful evening jamming at Schotsky’s Bar, say ‘Let’s Boogaloo!”

“LET’S BOOGALOO!”

With that, and the music papers thrown in the air in their wake, the band turned their heels and headed down the steps, careful the mind the dancers on the way. Even Delores, the trumpet girl, followed suit.

Gonzo felt someone pat on his back. “Sorry, Gonzo,” Rowlf said. “But good luck with the Dance Marathon. And finding Animal a partner.”

“What?!” Gonzo exclaimed but the dog was already out the door.

-

I’m not cut out for this​

“Well, er,” Zoot scratched the back of his neck, figuring out the best words. “What I mean to say is…I’m…not really…I just…”

He paused, glancing up at Lips and suddenly wished he didn’t. Heartbreak didn’t even come close to describe the expression of the trumpeter’s face. More like…utter devastation.

Zoot chewed his lip briefly. C’mon, man. You can do this.

He placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Look, I’m flattered. I really am. But my barn doors just don’t swing that way. I, er, hope we can still be friends, though.”

That didn’t seem to make things better. Lips looked down at his feet and hugged himself, perhaps from the cold of the back allyway. The wind blew and rustled his yellow, fluffy hair…not like Zoot noticed this or anything.

“Yeah,” Lips mumbled, so low that he almost didn’t hear it. “Sure we can.”

His sad tone sounded less reassuring and now Zoot was beginning to wonder if he made the right decision.

Just then, the back door swung open and Janice ran out, her suit battered and crumbled. “Oh my gosh, there you are!” she exclaimed, frantically. “Come on! We gotta get on stage quick. Miss Piggy’s had a rull fit and karate chopped half the dancing ensemble!”

 

[AlittleMayhem]

AN: So I was tagged by @charlietheowl to do this, the Ice Bucket Challenge for the ALS Association (or in the UK it seems to be The Macmillan Cancer Support). Those who choose to play by the rules of the challenge can, if tagged, dump a bucket of ice water on their heads, post a video, challenge three others, and donate $10 or skip the ice bucket and donate $100 instead.

Buuuuut, seeing as everyone else here seems to be doing the easy route of writing about our favourite Muppets doing the challenge themselves and then donating, I figured that would be better and less time consuming for me. Anyway, I challenge, if they choose to accept it, @AnimatedC9000 @TwoHeadedLlama and @TheWeirdoGirl. Do what you like with that. Enjoy!

Unforeseen Challenge​

Zoot was napping on the porch bench when Floyd approached him. He couldn’t see it was him, being far too relaxed to open his eyes, but he needn’t as he was way more than familiar with his friend’s distinctive chuckle.

“Hey, man,” he said. “Mind if I borrow ten bucks from you?”

This should have been the point where Zoot thought this was suspicious. Usually it was him asking money from Floyd. But as it so happens, he did have money on him so he slipped a ten dollar bill out from his hat and held it to Floyd’s direction with a mumbled, “Sure.”

Floyd took it and Zoot settled back, thinking that was it. But then he heard some heavy sloshing noises and Floyd grunting, “Alright, now say the first name that comes into your head.”

Now, this is where Zoot got suspicious but he still didn’t lift his head. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Er, Nigel. Now, wh-”

SPLASH!

-

A horrified scream and a clang of a bucket reached the living area, where Kermit and Scooter were working on the house’s finances.

“What was that?” Kermit said, looking up in the direction of the noises.

Before Scooter could say anything to that, Floyd skidded into the room and slammed a ten onto the table.

“HeygivethistoRobinformeIwasneverhereokbye!” he rushed and was gone just as quickly as he arrived, laughing his head off.

“Wait, Floyd! What are you-”

“PEPPER!”

The sudden roar made the two jump, half expecting it to come from Sweetums or one of the other monsters. Instead, in stormed a peculiar being with a bucket for a head and a body wearing what looked like Zoot’s drenched clothes. He bumped clumsily into walls and furniture, still yelling furiously.

“WHERE IS HE?! I’LL KILL THAT SON OF A- BWAHHHGH!”

He slipped and went flying out the door, an almighty crash following a moment later.

“Wow, Zoot! That was amazing!” they heard Gonzo cry out. “Right into the fireplace! Do you mind if I borrow that for my act?”

Kermit and Scooter caught each other’s eye and then shrugged. At least it would be for a good cause.

 

[charlietheowl]

Hahaha! I love Floyd's unique way to get Zoot involved in the challenge. Maybe he'll be a little more vigilant next time Floyd makes a request. Thanks for posting.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

AN: My word, has it really been over two years since I posted up a drabble? How time flies! Anyway, if anyone has been seeing my fanart thread, you'll know I posted some artwork regarding a Muppet High AU I created with some friends outside of Muppet Central. Basically, it's an AU in which all the Muppets are teenagers in the 50s and it pretty much all the 50s High School goodness you'd expect. For this fic, all you need to know is that Piggy is a rebellious but fabulous Greaser Girl who leads her own gang with matching leather jackets and Janice is a music loving cheerleader who spends most of her time with the band. You can find out more about the AU here: http://iamallybee.tumblr.com/tagged/muppet-high

New Friend​

Janice didn’t set out to join the Swine Divines. She had enough friends and social activities to keep her going a lifetime. Cheerleader practice, band practice, poetry recital and of course, the time she spend with Floyd was a very special social activity.

But she did notice the Greaser Pig walking alone after school one day and thought, eh, like, what the hey?

She bid farewell to her boys and caught up with the Greaser. “Hey, like, going my way?” she said, cheerfully.

The Greaser Pig stopped to stare at her, almost like a deer in headlights. But only for a moment, as her cool persona set back in place and she casually shrugged.

“Sure, whatever,” she replied and Janice knew at once what type of person she was. The type who had a tendency to hide their true feelings under a veil of casualness with an added air of a tough attitude.

Still against anyone’s better judgement, Janice walked side-by side with her. She had been studying auras lately and while she couldn’t see them yet, she did feel drawn to her and could sense something interesting about the Pig.

Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t call her the pig.

“So, like, what’s your name?” Janice asked. “I’m Janice. I dunno if you’ve ever seen me around, but I’m on the cheerleader squad and with the band and the environmental group and the band and poetry and the band-”

“Yeah, I noticed you around,” The pig interrupted. “Just call me Piggy. Add a Miss at the start, if you like.”

“Cool, Piggy! Very, like authentic, y’know. It suits you, totally.”

“Thanks,” Piggy replied, dryly.

Piggy hadn’t looked at her since she allowed Janice to walk with her. She had her hands in the pockets of her jacket (a beautiful leather one with a pig logo on the back than Janice felt envious of), frown facing forward and chewing a toothpick between her teeth.

“Have I done something wrong?” she asked. She wasn’t offended but she did feel a little self concious of her current demeanour all of a sudden.

When Piggy spoke, it was with disdain and a scowling face.

“You are dating that pink beatnik with the stupid hair, right? The one who’s a total jerk to anyone over a size twelve?”

“Who, Floyd? Yeah, he can be kinda mean, but he’s so sensitive and deep. The poetry he writes is so soulful and he gets so into it when he talks about how the government are secretly spying on us and they way he plays bass…”

She let out a dreamy sigh, her mind wandering to the image of his face until she tripped a little on a loose pavement.

Piggy’s eyes flickered to her for a second. “What about your klutz of a captain? Looked like she pulled than enough strings to have that position, if you know what I mean.”

“Well, maybe. But Spamela’s rully sweet and does know a lot of great routines. Very bubbly, y’know? I can relate, fer sure!”

The next person’s name she said with a tone dripping in pure hatred. “Denise.”

“Oh, wow, she’s, like, super really nice. You don’t like her?”

Piggy changed the subject. “You sure are cheery for someone who’s boyfriend and friends I just insulted.”

Janice shrugged, happily. “Oh, I dunno. I just like it more if people get along better, y’know? I hang out with a lot of people with different opinions and thoughts, but I don’t start fights or anything. I just smile and everything’s all bright and right.”

Piggy snorted a laugh. “Ha! The only kind of people who say that are the ones who get along with their mothers!”

The sarcastic comment made Janice stop in her tracks. Piggy took a moment to realise that and looked back. “What? Forget your pom-poms? You're holding 'em, y'know.”

Janice only looked at her sadly. “I don’t.”

Piggy peered at her. “Don’t what?”

“I don’t get along with my mother…”

For a few seconds, they stood in stunned silence. Then, with a sad and sypathetic expression that wasn’t there before, Piggy walked up to her and gave her a little nudge with her elbow. It wasn’t an unkind one. It was nice, comforting. Understanding.

They continued their walk in silence until Janice broke it again.

“By the way, I’m sorry about Floyd. He’s really cool and all, but he can be a total jerk sometimes when he goes too far, rully.”

Piggy gave her another elbow nudge. “I forgive you. Not him though, but you’re out of the woods.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Talk to him?”

“Well, maybe yell a little too. It is pretty unfair of him.”

“Atta girl.”

Janice didn’t see Piggy that much the next day, but she did find a Swine Divine jacket in her locker at the end of classes. It had a messy note pinned to it.

Sorry, moi was very judging of you. I thought you would be

More like

Your friends are all

All your friends are lucky to have you. I hope you’d let me be your friend. What do you say?

Piggy. Kissy, kissy.

The jacket was massively oversized for her and she had to roll up the sleeves several times. But it soon became her favourite jacket. These days, she was hardly seen not wearing it, especially with the rest of the Swine Divines.

 

[The Count]

Nice how you worked in references to the 2015 TV series into a world that's taking place half a century or more in the past. Maybe you'll post some other drabbles/oneshots from this in the future.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

AN: I wrote this on a spur of the moment kind of thing and posted it on tumblr a few days ago. Figured I should post it here too.
This ficlet features The Electric Mayhem in a polygamous relationship, besides Animal who is more like their weird but beloved son/pet thing.

-

The night was pleasantly cool for a desert night.

There was nowhere to stay for miles around. And there was no point in finding one when the band was already exhausted and hungry beyond belief. So, the band did what they always did and parked the bus on the side of the road, camping out for the night. The stars would be their roof.

Animal was unnaturally good at starting a fire, so long as Floyd was there to control it properly. Soon, pots and pans where brought out and Zoot was cooking up some mean veggie dishes, inspired by his Israeli background. Lips helped him out, but mainly enjoyed brushing his fingers along his as they passed ingredients or delighting in Zoot's occasional squeezing of his shoulder.

When they ate, they sang words of praises to the pair and even rewarded them with hugs and kisses, Dr. Teeth being the most eccentric as he like to dip them and give them smooches that could send a man into a coma. Animal just ignored the fives' laughs and touchy-feeliness, instead gnawing on a bone he randomly found.

After dinner, Dr. Teeth, Lips and Animal got out a tambourine, panpipes and a pair of drums and they played an upbeat, happy tune. Floyd got up and offered two of his partners a dance.

Soon, he was twirling Janice around. Even after all these years, he was still memorised by her flowing dresses, magic hair and the way her laughter sang like a songbird in the morning.

Zoot, in a rare moment of friskiness, grabbed Floyd and held him close. As they spun around in time to the music, he whispered sweet things in Floyd's ear that made him shiver in ecstasy.

Janice then joined in and the three where dancing in a circle, laughing, holding each other's shoulders and waists as their bare feet kicked up the sand. Dr Teeth and Lips shared a look. They might have shuffled closer together, bodies pressing together as their cheeks glowed a rosy pink.

Hours later, the five of them lay close together on a blanket. There was no sound save for their heartbeats, breathing and the cracking of the dying fire.

Floyd had snuggled up with Janice, one hand on his chest while the other held Dr. Teeth's hand. He stared up at the sky. With no city lights to block them out, the stars shone as brightly as they wanted, billions of them glowing and scattered across a deep blue canvas that not even Van Gogh could capture.

Yet Floyd did not feel so entranced by its beauty.

Floyd knew that for now, this was perfection. Zoot snored on top of Janice, clinging on to her like as of his existence depended on it. Lips lay on Dr. Teeth's other side, his head on his chest with his wild blonde hair likely tickling Doc's nose. Animal stayed separate from the group, splayed out like a dog and kicking in his sleep while grunting. He preferred it like that and that was fine. But Floyd knew that he would wake up in the morning to find Animal curled up at his feet.

And Floyd felt so blessed to be in the middle of them all. So content. So loved by each and every of them.

But he knew that as soon as they were back home, he couldn't be seen pecking Lips on the cheek. No one could know that he flirted shamelessly but quietly with Dr. Teeth all the time. His long and deeply meaningful relationship with Zoot could never be out in the open. As far as the public, friends, but especially a certain company were concerned, his only relationship was with Janice.

He heaved a great sigh. "Man," he said in a horse whisper, "pretending to be monogamous all the time is exhausting."

Janice hummed in sad agreement, adjusting her head so it rested a little on top of Floyd's head. "I know, hon," she said, her own voice hushed. "I know."