Guilty Pleasures
Scooter sat stiffly, his shoulders hunched and stared intently at the screen. He didn’t register the increasing heat on his crossed legs where his laptop rested and forgot that he needed to sort out everyone’s timetable for the upcoming rehearsals. Not even the usual noisy chaos that shook the house on a daily basis affected him in the slightest. All that mattered to him now was the TV show that he was watching with every ounce of his attention.
That was, until there was a knock on the door and Kermit entered without invitation.
“Hey, Scooter?” he asked, walking over to his bed. “How are those time-”
“Shh!” Scooter hushed loudly, putting a finger to his lips with an annoyed expression. Then, just as quickly as it happened, he returned to his former state.
Kermit stopped, taken aback by the sudden interruption. Did he just shush him?! His eyes wandered over to a distantly large pile of untidy papers on his desk. By the looks of it, it hadn’t been undisturbed since he left them there this morning.
Now it was the frog’s turn to be annoyed. “Scooter!” he yelled “What are you playing at?! I asked you to-”
“SHH!”
There! He did it again! What’s gotten into him?
“Don’t you shush me!” he snapped, marching right to his bed and grabbing the back of the laptop. Scooter finally caught on what he was doing and gripped both sides.
“Kermit, wait! I can explain!”
Too late. Kermit yanked the laptop free from Scooter’s grip. The gofer yelped and tumbled off the bed at the frog’s forcefulness.
“When I ask you to do something I expect you to…do…sooo…”
Kermit’s words trailed off as he saw what was on screen. His eyes grew to the size of large saucers.
“Oh.”
***
A few minutes later, Scooter and Kermit sat on the bed with the laptop now resting on Scooter’s desk chair. They watched the episode in silence, until Scooter quietly spoke up.
“She’s a cool character,” he said, pointing to said character.
Kermit nodded, humming in agreement.
There was another knock and Fozzie entered, his fur drenched in egg whites and yolks.
“Hey Kermit! I think I need to change my routine for this week. Camilla and her friends didn’t take my chicken jokes very well,” he said, sheepishly looking down at his current state.
Kermit waved his hand carelessly in his direction, not looking away.
“Yeah, sure Fozzie. Whatever you want,” he mumbled.
Fozzie tilted his head in confusion. Usually he was more helpful than this.
“Um, what are you two doing?” he asked cautiously.
“Just watching some TV.” Scooter said casually. “Wanna watch?”
After a pause, Fozzie shrugged. “Sure! Hey scootch over, will ya?”
The two muppets shuffled to one side as the bear sat down with a loud
squelch.
“Huh? Well this is new! I didn’t think you were into this!”
Kermit glanced at Fozzie’s way and reeled back in disgust. “Um, Fozzie?”
“Oh, not that there’s anything wrong with that! I’m not trying to be mean, it’s just unusual that you watch-”
“Actually, Fozzie, I was gonna ask you to take a shower.”
***
Half an hour later, a fresh and clean Fozzie returned to Scooter’s room, tying a new scarf around his neck. He stopped at the threshold, surprised to find that Gonzo, Rowlf and most of the Electric Mayhem had joined Kermit and Scooter on the bed, all of them huddled round the computer screen.
“Y’know, I have to admit,” Rowlf was saying. “this ain’t half bad! Almost like a normal show!”
“Yeah,” Gonzo said, nodding. “I might say it’s kinda cool!”
Everyone murmured in acknowledgement.
“Um, why were we in here again?” Zoot said to Floyd.
“Who cares?” replied Floyd.
Fozzie approached the group and addressed Animal. “Hey, Animal. I was in that spot. Could you just-”
“MY SPOT!” Animal snarled, baring his teeth. Fozzie shrank back, timidly.
“O-okay, I’ll just sit on the floor then…”
***
As soon as Miss Piggy stepped one foot into the porch, she knew something wasn’t right. She got her answer as she opened the door. The place was quiet, desolate, deserted. Still a dump but very much empty.
Sheesh, you go out for one little photo-shoot…
Just then Camilla and her band of hens hurried passed, clucking amongst themselves. Piggy would have stopped them if she knew how to speak chicken, and only the blue weirdo knew how to do that.
“Oh, hi Miss Piggy!”
Piggy turned around to see Janice exit the kitchen with a glass of organic juice. “So, like, how did your photo-shoot go?”
“Where the heck is everyone?!” The diva demanded, sweeping her arm to the bare rooms.
“Hmm? Oh, that! Well, the guys went to talk to Kermit about the songs for this week!”
“Oh, yeah? And, pray tell,
when did they do that?”
“Umm, about four hours ago! When I went downstairs, it was like, y’know,
this! Not a single man in sight!”
Four hours?! Were the rest of the men in this house gone for that long too? Piggy thought to herself as she made her way to her room. Before she considered calling to police, she heard a noise from Scooter’s door. She paused, listening out for it. There it was again!
Laughter. Group laughter.
Piggy tip-toed over and rested and ear on the door. She could her hushed voices, lots of shushes and what sounded like a TV.
Oh, well! They’re going to be like that, are they?!
Piggy took a step back and breathed in…then screamed as loud as she could.
“HII-YAH!”
The door spilt in two and another kick sent them down with two loud
thuds, breaking free from the hinges
.
Piggy gasped at the sight before her. Every single man in the house was squeezed into this one room. Kermit, Scooter, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rowlf, the rest of the Electric Mayhem, the Swedish Chef, several monsters, penguins, pigs, everyone! Even Sam and Statler and Waldorf?! They didn’t even live here! They seemed to be scrunched up around a laptop on the ground.
All pairs of eyes stared at the pig in terror, like several rabbits caught in headlights.
“What the heck is going on in here?!” Piggy yelled, breaking the silence. “Do you realise how weird you all- AAHHHH!”
Piggy shrieked in terror as the whole room stampeded out of the room, trampling her along the way.
As soon as the dust settled, and she was sure there were no more feet to come, Piggy groaned and looked up. The laptop as still where they left it. Very reluctantly, she dragged herself over, grabbed it and flipped it over to her view. Now to see what all the fuss was about.
Initially, she didn’t know whether to laugh or freak out. After a long pause of gawking at the screen, she chose the latter.
“MY LITTLE PONY!?!?!?!?”
A/N: Here's a fun fact! I was originally going to do the same story with 50 Shades of Grey. Be grateful I didn't.Also, yeah, I like MLP too.