AlittleMayhem's Muppet Drabbles

[bouncingbabyfig]

I'm...not really sure. Ever since The Muppet Show began, British people (myself included) just use it to describe someone stupid.

Life's funny like that.

Ha! I can see why! Lol, but for me, I'd take it as a compliment. Haha,

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Little Frog, All Alone​

The autumn leaves rustled and tumbled as the cool wind carried them across the park. Couples walked hand in hand, dogs ran wild and children jumped in neatly created piles and threw the leaves astray in fits of giggles.

But Robin didn’t want to play in the leaves. He didn’t want to do anything. Instead, he sat on a bench, wearing nothing but a scarf. He shivered as the wind tickled him, but he didn’t care.

He’d had enough. Enough of the unwanted sympathy, the grown-ups always coming into his room asking him if he wanted to talk, all the whispers, how the room always fell silent as soon as he entered. The last straw came today, when Uncle Kermit sat him down and tried to tell him of his own experiences. In a flash, he was out the door and running as fast as his small legs could carry him, ignoring Kermit’s desperate calls.

Robin heard footsteps approach and the other side of the bench suddenly felt heavy. He looked at the ground, not wanting to meet the eyes of the newcomer.

“Please, Uncle Kermit!” he said, his voice cracking. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I don’t care how much you understand or how sick he was or everything’s gonna be okay! Well, it’s not okay! I may be small, but I’m not stupid or weak like you think I am.”

Robin stiffed and his vision blurred. “I know what happened and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. What else is there to say? He’s gone.”

Something inside of him tightened as he realised what he just said. “Gone. And that’s it.”

For a moment, Robin suddenly felt very lonely in the world, as if he was the only living thing left. Then, a hand reached out and touched his shoulder. A hand, not a flipper.

Tears rolled down his face as he glanced up, looking into the sad eyes of Floyd Pepper, not Kermit. For a very brief moment, the two Muppets understood each other perfectly. He buried his head into Floyd’s jacket and let himself sob as the musician rubbed his back. They stayed like this for a long time, until Kermit arrived and carried his nephew home with the uncharacteristically quiet Floyd.

Jerry Nelson 1934-2012

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Guilty Pleasures​

Scooter sat stiffly, his shoulders hunched and stared intently at the screen. He didn’t register the increasing heat on his crossed legs where his laptop rested and forgot that he needed to sort out everyone’s timetable for the upcoming rehearsals. Not even the usual noisy chaos that shook the house on a daily basis affected him in the slightest. All that mattered to him now was the TV show that he was watching with every ounce of his attention.

That was, until there was a knock on the door and Kermit entered without invitation.

“Hey, Scooter?” he asked, walking over to his bed. “How are those time-”

“Shh!” Scooter hushed loudly, putting a finger to his lips with an annoyed expression. Then, just as quickly as it happened, he returned to his former state.

Kermit stopped, taken aback by the sudden interruption. Did he just shush him?! His eyes wandered over to a distantly large pile of untidy papers on his desk. By the looks of it, it hadn’t been undisturbed since he left them there this morning.

Now it was the frog’s turn to be annoyed. “Scooter!” he yelled “What are you playing at?! I asked you to-”

“SHH!”

There! He did it again! What’s gotten into him?

“Don’t you shush me!” he snapped, marching right to his bed and grabbing the back of the laptop. Scooter finally caught on what he was doing and gripped both sides.

“Kermit, wait! I can explain!”

Too late. Kermit yanked the laptop free from Scooter’s grip. The gofer yelped and tumbled off the bed at the frog’s forcefulness.

“When I ask you to do something I expect you to…do…sooo…”

Kermit’s words trailed off as he saw what was on screen. His eyes grew to the size of large saucers.

“Oh.”

***

A few minutes later, Scooter and Kermit sat on the bed with the laptop now resting on Scooter’s desk chair. They watched the episode in silence, until Scooter quietly spoke up.

“She’s a cool character,” he said, pointing to said character.

Kermit nodded, humming in agreement.

There was another knock and Fozzie entered, his fur drenched in egg whites and yolks.

“Hey Kermit! I think I need to change my routine for this week. Camilla and her friends didn’t take my chicken jokes very well,” he said, sheepishly looking down at his current state.

Kermit waved his hand carelessly in his direction, not looking away.

“Yeah, sure Fozzie. Whatever you want,” he mumbled.

Fozzie tilted his head in confusion. Usually he was more helpful than this.

“Um, what are you two doing?” he asked cautiously.

“Just watching some TV.” Scooter said casually. “Wanna watch?”

After a pause, Fozzie shrugged. “Sure! Hey scootch over, will ya?”

The two muppets shuffled to one side as the bear sat down with a loud squelch.
“Huh? Well this is new! I didn’t think you were into this!”

Kermit glanced at Fozzie’s way and reeled back in disgust. “Um, Fozzie?”

“Oh, not that there’s anything wrong with that! I’m not trying to be mean, it’s just unusual that you watch-”

“Actually, Fozzie, I was gonna ask you to take a shower.”

***

Half an hour later, a fresh and clean Fozzie returned to Scooter’s room, tying a new scarf around his neck. He stopped at the threshold, surprised to find that Gonzo, Rowlf and most of the Electric Mayhem had joined Kermit and Scooter on the bed, all of them huddled round the computer screen.

“Y’know, I have to admit,” Rowlf was saying. “this ain’t half bad! Almost like a normal show!”

“Yeah,” Gonzo said, nodding. “I might say it’s kinda cool!”

Everyone murmured in acknowledgement.

“Um, why were we in here again?” Zoot said to Floyd.

“Who cares?” replied Floyd.

Fozzie approached the group and addressed Animal. “Hey, Animal. I was in that spot. Could you just-”

“MY SPOT!” Animal snarled, baring his teeth. Fozzie shrank back, timidly.

“O-okay, I’ll just sit on the floor then…”

***

As soon as Miss Piggy stepped one foot into the porch, she knew something wasn’t right. She got her answer as she opened the door. The place was quiet, desolate, deserted. Still a dump but very much empty.

Sheesh, you go out for one little photo-shoot…

Just then Camilla and her band of hens hurried passed, clucking amongst themselves. Piggy would have stopped them if she knew how to speak chicken, and only the blue weirdo knew how to do that.

“Oh, hi Miss Piggy!”

Piggy turned around to see Janice exit the kitchen with a glass of organic juice. “So, like, how did your photo-shoot go?”

“Where the heck is everyone?!” The diva demanded, sweeping her arm to the bare rooms.

“Hmm? Oh, that! Well, the guys went to talk to Kermit about the songs for this week!”

“Oh, yeah? And, pray tell, when did they do that?”

“Umm, about four hours ago! When I went downstairs, it was like, y’know, this! Not a single man in sight!”

Four hours?! Were the rest of the men in this house gone for that long too? Piggy thought to herself as she made her way to her room. Before she considered calling to police, she heard a noise from Scooter’s door. She paused, listening out for it. There it was again!

Laughter. Group laughter.

Piggy tip-toed over and rested and ear on the door. She could her hushed voices, lots of shushes and what sounded like a TV.

Oh, well! They’re going to be like that, are they?!

Piggy took a step back and breathed in…then screamed as loud as she could.

“HII-YAH!”

The door spilt in two and another kick sent them down with two loud thuds, breaking free from the hinges.

Piggy gasped at the sight before her. Every single man in the house was squeezed into this one room. Kermit, Scooter, Gonzo, Fozzie, Rowlf, the rest of the Electric Mayhem, the Swedish Chef, several monsters, penguins, pigs, everyone! Even Sam and Statler and Waldorf?! They didn’t even live here! They seemed to be scrunched up around a laptop on the ground.

All pairs of eyes stared at the pig in terror, like several rabbits caught in headlights.

“What the heck is going on in here?!” Piggy yelled, breaking the silence. “Do you realise how weird you all- AAHHHH!”

Piggy shrieked in terror as the whole room stampeded out of the room, trampling her along the way.

As soon as the dust settled, and she was sure there were no more feet to come, Piggy groaned and looked up. The laptop as still where they left it. Very reluctantly, she dragged herself over, grabbed it and flipped it over to her view. Now to see what all the fuss was about.

Initially, she didn’t know whether to laugh or freak out. After a long pause of gawking at the screen, she chose the latter.

“MY LITTLE PONY!?!?!?!?”




A/N: Here's a fun fact! I was originally going to do the same story with 50 Shades of Grey. Be grateful I didn't.Also, yeah, I like MLP too.

 

[charlietheowl]

Haha! I liked seeing Fozzie say "not that there's anything wrong with that", as if he expected them to be on the defensive already. Thanks for sharing.

 

[MissMusical12]

HAHAHAHAHA! This was hilarious!!!! You should done one with 50 Shades of Grey. That would be really funny!!!

 

[AlittleMayhem]

Haha! I liked seeing Fozzie say "not that there's anything wrong with that", as if he expected them to be on the defensive already. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you for reading! *tips hat*

HAHAHAHAHA! This was hilarious!!!! You should done one with 50 Shades of Grey. That would be really funny!!!

Thank you! The reason I didn't do 50 Shades was because it didn't feel right for me to write so much innuendo in a Muppet fic. Or at least, I didn't feel I was good enough to do so.

P.S. I know it should say it had been undisturbed. My grammar isn't the best today. :/

 

[MissMusical12]

Thank you! The reason I didn't do 50 Shades was because it didn't feel right for me to write so much innuendo in a Muppet fic. Or at least, I didn't feel I was good enough to do so.

P.S. I know it should say it had been undisturbed. My grammar isn't the best today. :/

I wanted to write a quick fic about Muppet reactions to 50 Shades of Grey, but I think I'm very well aware about how risque and sexual that book is....my mom has all three books from the series.

 

[AlittleMayhem]

I wanted to write a quick fic about Muppet reactions to 50 Shades of Grey, but I think I'm very well aware about how risque and sexual that book is....my mom has all three books from the series.

You know how parents always ban their kids from reading certain books and watching certain TV shows or movies? Well, me and my sister have banned our mum from ever touching anything to do with 50 Shades! That's all I'm saying!

Anyway, I must write a quick fic before this thread goes into randomness again!

 

[AlittleMayhem]

A Very Un-American Crossover Indeed​

A beautiful sunny day and a walk in the park. What an excellent combination of two wonderful American traditions! Sam the Eagle strode proudly on the dirt path, nodding approving to no one in particular with a copy of Eagle Post under his wing.

He kept a keen eye out for a cosy spot to read his paper. He preferred that it had a little shade, a comfortable bench that did not give him splinters and was far away from annoying kids. Particularly like the one who squirted him with a water pistol last month. Oh, so berating the poor bird trying to get some peace and quiet was funny, was it?! A good talking to certainly showed him!

Sam frowned and rubbed a bump on his head at the memory. The child’s mother seemed to disagree as soon as she heard the brat bawling.

Finally, he spotted a bench that not only was empty, but was high enough for a beautiful view of the park and city! And there was shade from a tree, too! No kids, no couples, no weirdos? Could this get any better?

He sat down and noticed something about the tree. What luck! It was a Elm tree! A true American beauty! It almost made him smile.

Sam rustled the pages until he found the page he was at and began to read. He was never going to get another day as suburb as this!

Vwroom!

Sam stiffened. He looked up, searching for the source of the noise. When he found nothing, the eagle shrugged, mumbling about it being the wind.

VWROOM!

He dropped the paper sharply and whirled around. There was no mistaking it this time! That was defiantly not the wind!

VWROOM!

He knew it! There was a motorcycle gang on its way! Here to ruin his perfect day! No way was he going to let that happen!

“Right!” he boomed, hopping off the bench and ready to face his unseen enemy. “Who’s there? What do you think you’re doing?! How dare you interrupt such a peaceful- MRPH?!”

A strong wind came out of nowhere and shoved the paper into his face, rendering him blind for a few seconds. Then the noise and wind died just as quickly as it came.

Livid, Sam snatched the paper away and was ready to blow his head off to the gang. Only to be left speechless.

Instead of a bunch of bikers, there was a giant, blue box. It sat neatly about ten feet away from the eagle, tall and looming with a light bulb on the roof. The words ‘POLICE BOX: PUBLIC CALL’ bordered the top above the windows.

The door opened and small figure in a lab coat about Sam’s size flew out of the box with a yelp, landing in a heap. Sam’s blood turned cold. Oh, no! Please don’t let it be him!

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew stumbled and got up rather pathetically as a human man in a tweed jacket stepped out of the police box. He seemed quite young, tall and skinny with a mop of brown hair that obviously needed a proper comb. He looked even less pleased than Sam.

“Alright, Bunsen! Last stop!” he barked, in a very British accent. He bent over the scientist and pointed to the ground between them. “See this planet here? See it, yes? Stay on this planet and don’t ever, ever leave it! You are way too much of a hazard!”

“Oh, please Doctor!” Bunsen begged, dropping to his knees and grabbing the man’s trouser leg. “I didn’t mean any harm! I thought the residents of Mars would be quite interested in my strawberry generator. And I only wanted to fix your time machine! It just needed a teensy little adjustment, that’s all!”

Sam’s jaw dropped. Time machine?!

The Doctor person . “Fix it?! Okay, number one! Only I can fix the TARDIS! Number two, it didn’t need fixing to begin with! Especially not with a knitting robot and a bit of gum! And number 4- no- 3! Never offer Martians strawberries! Ever! They hate strawberries! Now if it was a Raspberry Generator that would be completely different, but never strawberry!”

“But Beakie didn’t know that! It was only an ickle accident! Be easy on the lad!”

“You two nearly started an all-out war!”

Bunsen tightened his grip. “Please, Doctor! Take me back! There’s so much that we could discover about the universe together! We could be a team!”

The Doctor forced his trouser leg back. “I’m sorry, but you’re just too dangerous! Goodbye, Bunsen. I wish you well.”

With that, the Doctor turned on his heel and strode back to the box, shutting the door behind him.

“Wait!” Bunsen cried, reaching out to the box. “What about Beaker?!”

The door opened again and a screaming Beaker flew out, colliding with Bunsen just as the door closed and the box began to hum.

Wait what?! The box was humming?!

Sam could only gawk with a mixture of horror and disbelief as the blue box gradually began to disappear in thin air, in time to the vwroom noise. He didn’t even register that his favourite paper was snatched away from his wings by the sudden strong wind.

It wasn’t until the two scientists suddenly appeared at his side, somehow giddy with excitement, that he regained his sense. Or what was left of it.

“Mee mee mo mee mee!”

“Sam! You won’t believe what we’ve just been through! It was the most magnificent experience of our lives, wasn’t it Beakie!”

Oh, mee mo mee mee mee mee!”

Sam snapped his head and glared right into Bunsen’s bewildered non-existed eyes.

“I don’t care!” he growled then marched away.

Weirdos! The whole world- No! The whole universe is filled with complete weirdos!

 

[MissMusical12]

Wow! I love the interaction between Sam and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. That's something I barely see. Great job!