A Robotic Heart

[AnimatedC9000]

Chapter 16

When the late spring of 1978 came around, we were back in Kansas on a break. Since we were touring for such a long time, we desperately needed the break time. It was great to kick back and relax in a place that we felt welcome at and were greatly familiar with. After all, a little vacation can be good for you, right?

Well, too much of a good thing is also bad for you.

Right away, we seemed to miss being in the spotlight. Sure, we wanted to relax, but there was a feeling of stillness in the air. Boredom was easy to come since there was nothing much to do in that town, so we all took up different hobbies.

Francine took up the subject of drawing, something that she only rarely did before on scraps of paper. The drawings started out small at first, but soon they began to expand into projects. Alas, almost all of her work was done in vain. As a result, many wastebaskets were filled to the brim with paper basketballs.

Flash, who was by now Francine’s steady boyfriend, had a hobby of fantasizing. Mostly, he pretended that he was Luke Skywalker, saving the galaxy from the evil Imperial Empire. With his light saber in hand, he battled Storm Troopers and knocked over many lamps. (I blame myself for getting him into the franchise, actually. It was my idea to drag them all to see the original movie that came out the previous year.)

Clifford and Leon decided to become more active at night. Instead off donning costumes and fighting crime, they went to nightclubs to get more excitement. With that being said, they were usually tired when they came back at daybreak and hardly wanted to do anything else but eat and sleep.

Beard had decided to pass his talents down to younger generations. He opened up a small business where he gave guitar lessons to younger children for a reasonable price. I had the opportunity to check out a few of his classes, and his students played pretty well.

Lindbergh went back to his steady job as a repairman. Since it was getting close to summertime, a lot of people in town needed their cooling systems to be fixed, so my friend was definitely hard at work. When he wasn’t working, he usually was with me, drawing up plans to build a model of either the Millennium Falcon or the U.S.S. Enterprise. (We never could figure out which to build.)

As for me, I took up the side interest in photography. I had temporarily abandoned the hobby thanks to the accident, but by that time I was eager to take pictures of any interesting subject that caught my eye. It seemed as if I could never be seen without a camera on hand, so I kept one on a neck strap just in case of a perfect picture moment.

On a particularly uneventful day, we were all somewhat busy with our hobbies. Beard was busy teaching his 1 ‘o clock group of child guitarists how to play a few chords. Clifford was channel surfing, while Leon was rummaging through the refrigerator for a quick snack. Meanwhile, Francine was trying to paint when she wasn’t trying to save her easel from the misadventures of the young Jedi Knight Flash Skywalker. As this was going on, Lindbergh and I were discussing what would happen if a Klingon and a Storm Trooper somehow met each other and were involved in a fight.

"I’m telling you, Lindbergh, a Klingon would win the fight," I told my friend. "They’re a brutal extra-terrestrial race that will destroy anyone or anything that gets in their way."

"But the Storm Troopers have those laser guns," the kiwi argued. "Besides, they attack in groups."

"So do Klingons," I argued back.

Before the conversation could become too in depth, the phone started to ring. (Thank goodness it rang when it did or the argument would’ve never been settled.)

"I’ll get it," I called out to the others, picking up the receiver. "Hello, this is Digit, the keyboardist of Solid Foam. May I ask who’s calling?"

"Um, this is Kermit the Frog," the voice on the other end responded, "news reporter for Sesame Street Newsflash and host of The Muppet Show."

My eyes almost lit up in surprise. "Kermit!" I exclaimed. "But… how did you get this number?"

"Well, y’see, Bunsen’s kept a track on all the numbers that you’ve called him from," the frog responded, "and this seemed like a reliable number that we could reach you at the time. How are things, might I ask?"

"Well..." I looked around the room once more at my fellow band members, and thought for a moment on just how we were. It was quite slow to be honest, and we were hoping to have perhaps found some work together, but that seemed far off. "...we’re not doing much right now," I commented to him.

"Try doing nothing of importance," Francine deadpanned to me.

Kermit heard Francine on the line and laughed a little. "So, I take it that you are all in need of a job right about now, am I right?"

"Oh, certainly, Mr. the Frog," I gushed, happy to have heard the mention of a job once more. Sitting around and going on about Star Wars and Star Trek was getting old and fast.

"But, I’m not sure about the other guys. They might not be up to doing anything..." Having said that, everyone looked up at me now, noticing I mentioned them.

"Doing what, Digit?" Clifford asked, looking over his ever-present sunglasses at myself.

Flash put down his light saber, and Francine her paintbrushes; Leon and Clifford came away from the TV and came over towards me, awaiting what I had to say about Kermit’s call.

Kermit "hmm"ed a little, and stated quite simply "I need some extras for the end of our movie, The Muppet Movie."

"The Muppet Movie?" I repeated, a little in disbelief. "You just need some extras?"

"A movie?" Leon piped up, his expression reading a little more into an area which I knew wasn’t appropriate. "Like, are there girls in this movie?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Leon," Francine muttered, rolling her eyes behind her pair of sunglasses.

"Actually, not only am I in need of extras," Kermit continued, "but I also need your help."

"Sure, we can help you," I told him. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well, we’re looking for a group of Muppets that haven’t been seen or heard from in a while," the frog explained, "and we need you to find them and take them to us in California. Have you ever heard of the Land of Gorch?"

I blinked for a split second in confusion. The Land of… what did he say, Gawrsh? I thought to myself. Wait, like Goofy? "… you mean, we’re going to Disneyland?" I asked the frog on the other end.

Kermit went silent for a few moments before speaking up again. "No, you’re going to New York," he clarified.

"But Disneyland isn’t in New York…" My voice trailed off as I tried to think of an explanation for all of this. "Ooh, maybe Goofy and his friends are in New York to fill out paperwork to be in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade," I stated after I thought of a solution. "I’ve always wanted to go to that…"

A moment of awkward silence followed, during which my friends gave me weird looks. Even a faint sound of a flipper hitting a forehead could be heard from the other end of the line.

"Not ‘Gawrsh’," Kermit told me with a hint of annoyance in his voice, "‘Gorch!" He even repeated it: "Gorch! Gorch! G-O-R-C-H! GORCH!"

"Oh, Gorch!" I exclaimed with realization. "That’s right, the Land of Gorch!" I quickly turned to the others. "Guys, what’s the Land of Gorch?" I asked them.

"The Land of Gorch," Leon responded, "is the planet where I own a very expensive mansion. Oh, and there’s these smokin’ hot girls in bikinis, and money. I own a money pool on Gorch."

"I thought it was a Storm Trooper base," Flash stated.

"It is not!" Kermit exclaimed in response to Leon. "True, it is a planet in another galaxy, but the Land of Gorch was a sketch on Saturday Night Live."

"Wait a minute," Clifford interjected, "if that was on Saturday Night Live, how come we weren’t aware of it?"

"Well, it’s because the sketch was cancelled about halfway through the first season," the frog answered.

"Okay, Kermit," I said excitedly to the frog, "we'll be right on it." Then I hung up before he could say another word. Immediately after the call ended, I started to pack all the necessary items for the trip to New York. "Why are you all standing around for?" I asked the others. "We’ve got to pack for the trip to New York!"

~~~

By an astounding coincidence, both Clifford and Leon happened to know some of the cast members of Saturday Night Live from their nights at the clubs. The former even had John Belushi’s phone number and called him for directions to the building. When he explained our purpose of going to the Big Apple, the SNL cast member seemed to be very happy about us coming and told us to pick up the Gorch cast members.

After all of us had packed and the directions were written down, we stopped to get a quick bite to eat. Then, it was off to New York for the trip of the year.

"Okay, now take a left at the stoplight and go until you reach Rockefeller Center," Clifford directed to Lindbergh after we reached New York City after several hours. "He said that they should be waiting for us there."

We did eventually reach Rockefeller Center by late afternoon. After the long trip, we expected to see a group of Muppets welcoming us. Instead, all we saw were a two tied-up filing cabinets out by the curb with the garbage.

Lindbergh parked the car and we all filed out to investigate. On one of the cabinets was a note addressed to us. I retrieved the note and handed it to Clifford so he could read it to us.

"‘Dear Clifford and friends,’" the bass player read, "‘Thank you so much for coming here and ridding us of those--’" He paused, double-checking to see what a few words said. "… anyway… ‘They’ve been around here for too long and have worn out their welcome,’" he continued. "‘We’ll thank you guys for this later. From your friend, John Belushi.’"

"Dang," Francine spoke up after the reading was over, "were they that bad?"

"I think that they’re…" I pointed to the filing cabinets. "… I think they’re in there," I whispered to the group nervously.

Sure enough, the cabinets started to rattle and grumbling could be heard from inside. Five file containers (marked "Ploobis", "Petua", "Scred", "Wisss", and "Vazh") were trying to open themselves up, but were held back in place due to the ropes.

"Come on," Lindbergh told us, "let’s untie the ropes." All of us hurried to untie the ropes and to free whatever was in there. After a few minutes of labor, our efforts were rewarded as the ropes fell off of the cabinets.

The shelves suddenly sprang forward, and the creatures that appeared from them nearly scared me half to death.

"Greetings, lowly commoners!" one of the creatures (who was wearing what appeared to be a Viking helmet) exclaimed. "I, King Ploobis, the almighty, the most worthy, the most…"

"The most loud-mouthed, the most ignorant, the biggest tub of lard," another creature, this one female, added.

"Thank you, dear," Ploobis said to the creature who was apparently his wife.

"I'm surprised you could squeeze out of that filing cabinet without breaking it," the queen commented.

One of the creatures whispered something to Leon about something about smoke. From the sound of him, he probably was a hippie.

"We’re free? We’re free!" yet another one of the creatures exclaimed. Then he started to grovel at my feet. "Oh thank you, kind sirs!"

"Uh… you’re welcome?" I replied to him. Suddenly, I felt quite uncomfortable around these people.

"Ooh, the city looks so beautiful," a female creature admired the city. "Let’s go shopping!" she exclaimed and started to wander off.

Clifford put his arms around her to prevent her from leaving. "Just think of the fancy Hollywood threads you could get your lovely little mittens on, baby," he told her.

"Hollywood?" the girl gasped. "That sounds so glamorous!"

"The fame," agreed one of the male creatures.

"The money," Ploobis added.

"The parties, the glamour!" the queen exclaimed.

"And the scandals," the hippie stated, "don't forget about the scandals."

There was a pause between the Gorch group. "What about Hollywood?" Ploobis asked.

"We got ya a gig," Beard said to the group.

"It's time to leave the cheap nightly weekend cesspool of lameness and strike a pose in front of cinema greatness!" Leon exclaimed.

"To heck with all of that!" Ploobis suddenly yelled (paraphrased). "Let’s all go clubhopping!"

The other Gorch members reluctantly agreed with their king. As for myself, I felt a sudden jolt of nervousness, and my face (and myself) became emotionless.

"Come on, you guys," Clifford told the Gorch group, "we need to get you guys to Hollywood, pronto!"

"And what if we refuse to do it, huh?" Ploobis argued.

I stepped up behind the king, emotionless, and used that opportune moment to give him a Vulcan nerve pinch. Ploobis immediately fell unconscious to the sidewalk. The others stared at me, both amazed (the band) and fearful (the Gorch group).

"Live long and prosper," I said, saluting to them.

"Digit, why did you do that?" Lindbergh asked me, still shocked.

"Jim, Edith Keeler must die," I stated to no one in particular. Then I gazed at the servant girl suspiciously.

The girl blinked. "What did I do?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing, sweet thing," Leon said, putting an arm around her. "Come on, let’s get you to the car…"

With that, everyone started to head back to the car, Lindbergh and the male creature carrying Ploobis to the back pf the vehicle. I followed them, my face still emotionless.

"No one has ever done that to his royal pain before," the creature commented as he and my kiwi friend set the king down in the back. "Maybe he could teach me that…"

"I have tried, Captain," I said to him before assuming my seat in the car.

"Boy, this is gonna be one heck of a road trip," I heard Clifford mutter after everyone had loaded up into the car. He then turned on the ignition and we were off to Hollywood.

 

[theprawncracker]

Very nice! Good to see that they're getting the Gorch gang together--and a road trip? Sweeeeet... I'm excited!

 

[The Count]

So... Which one of those was meant to be Scred and which was Wisss? And hey, you forgot about the Mighty Favog! *Solid Foam's car leaves NYC. Oh dear... Wonder who Kermit will ask to have picked up next. Post more please!

 

[AnimatedC9000]

So... Which one of those was meant to be Scred and which was Wisss? And hey, you forgot about the Mighty Favog! *Solid Foam's car leaves NYC. Oh dear... Wonder who Kermit will ask to have picked up next. Post more please!

The one that I (Digit) described as a hippie is Wisss. The other one is Scred. And no, I didn't forget the Mighty Favog. He just didn't appear in the Rainbow Connection finale in TMM.

... oops.

 

[The Count]

Oh... Thanks for explaining that Cait. Is okay then. *Leaves brownies.

 

[ReneeLouvier]

*bumpity*

Just bumping this fine tale upwards so it dosn't get lost in the fray.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

"Urngh, what hit me?" Ploobis asked groggily as he woke up from the nerve pinch I gave him earlier. As he began to rub his neck, he seemed to start remembering the previous events and became angry. "Scred!" He grabbed his lackey by the throat. "Scred, I coulda been killed!"

"I understand, your grouchiness," the creature now known as Scred managed to choke out.

"I’ll sue them, Scred!" the king ranted on. "I’ll sue them all! Starting with the guy that almost killed me! I’ll get them!" he roared, starting to spring forward after us.

He suddenly collapsed to the floor thanks to the nerve pinch that his wife gave him. "What can I say?" the queen stated after he was unconscious. "I’m a quick study."

As for me, I just raised my (nonexistent) eyebrow as a response while Lindbergh continued to work on me in the car. The Vulcan in me had still not ceased to leave as the car traveled down the road to Hollywood.

It seemed as if all of us were doing our own thing at the moment. Clifford was driving, and Beard was listening to the radio. Flash and the hippie, Wisss, were playing cards, while Francine was comfortably snuggled up against her boyfriend, trying to take a nap. Leon was busy flirting with Vazh, the servant girl. Scred, after gasping for air, was trying to start a sing-along. The queen was trying to read a book, and her husband was still knocked out cold.

As Lindbergh continued to repair me, I felt the need to speak. "Space, the final frontier," I began.

"Oh no, not this again," I heard Clifford mutter.

"These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise," I continued. "Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations…"

"To boldly go where no man has gone before," the others recited with me, most of them half-heartedly.

"We get it!" Francine suddenly exclaimed in exasperation. "You’re a Star Trek fan! You’re also a Star Wars fan, a sci-fi fan, and a geek!" She then lied back down, trying to fall asleep again.

"Hey, Digit, good news," Lindbergh told me, "I think I’ve fixed you!" He then flipped a switch. "That oughta do it!"

"I really don't see how that is going to help!" I argued in C-3PO’s voice. "Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances! The Empire may be gracious enough to…"
Lindbergh quickly flipped another switch. "Oops," he said, "maybe not…"

Scred crawled over to the seat to the empty place beside me. "Why not cross that wire with that jack over there?" he advised.

"It wasn't my fault, sir, please don't deactivate me," I apologized. "I told him not to go, but he's faulty, malfunctioning. Kept babbling on about his mission."

"I don't think that'd be a good idea for now," the bird said to the creature with concern.

"Hey guys," Clifford called to the back seats, "we’re taking a pit stop in the town up ahead. If you need to go to the bathroom or buy some snacks for the road, now’s your chance."

"Hey, my darlin’ Petua," King Ploobis said to his wife, waking up again, "what’s happening? You know, I’m not up to speed on this world yet. In fact, I felt like I’ve been hit with a ton of bricks. Maybe we can explore the universe together, huh?"

"We'll never reach an Earth base with him aboard," I told Clifford emotionlessly, referring to the king that just regained consciousness. "You heard the mathematics of it. In a month, he'll have as much in common with us as we'd have with a ship full of white mice."

Queen Petua was apparently amused that she could make her kingly husband say different phrases like I could. So, as a result, she nerve pinched him for the rest of the trip, making a game out of it.

The car then pulled up to a gas station and a convenience store and almost everyone filed out of the car to fill up the gas tank, go to the bathroom, or buy snacks for the road. Pretty soon, all that were left in the car were myself, Lindbergh, Scred, and the unconscious King Ploobis.

"I’m gonna go inside to buy us some snacks," Lindbergh told me, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car. "I’ll see you when I get back!" With that, he left for the convenience store, leaving me alone with Ploobis and Scred.

At that very moment, the king was startled awake. "Don't eat the kitten!" he shouted.

Scred stared at him in confusion. "Your Majesty?"

The king looked over at his lackey in relief. "Oh, Scred," he said, "I had the most awful dream ... we need to talk to the Mighty Favog."

"But, Your Highness, he's not in the car," the creature servant pointed out.

"I KNOW he's not in the car!" Ploobis exclaimed as he strangled Scred. "We need to call him up!"

The Gorch servant started to think. "Cell phones haven't been invented yet…" he muttered. (How Scred knew that statement, I’ll never know.) The creature suddenly got an idea. "However…" He nodded in my general direction. "…this guy is communication central! He can pick up and transmit any signal. I'm sure he can contact the Mighty Favog."

"Don't be stupid, Scred," the king told him. "What we need is some sort of device that transmits sound across a long distance." He suddenly was inspired. "Hey, I bet Digit here can contact the Mighty Favog!"

His servant sighed in exasperation. "You're a genius, Your thick-headedness," he congratulated half-heartedly.

"Of course I am," Ploobis said with a smirk as he bowed.

I should’ve spoke up during the conversation in protest. But, all that came out of my mouth before they advanced on me was, "A force that could hurl us 990.7 light-years away and at that distance still be able to sabotage our main source of energy will not be waiting around to be taken into custody."

"Yeah, yeah, hold still," King Ploobis said to me before he and Scred started to fiddle around with my controls.

After several broadcasting stations (including some in various foreign languages) were relayed to them, a gong sounded and I went through a major voice and personality change. "DIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG," I greeted them in a mystical voice which was very much unlike my own. "WHO DARES TO DISTURB MY SLUMBER?"

Ploobis raised his hand and spoke. "Hey, it's me."

"YOU?" I paused before continuing. "I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU SCHMUCKS A LONG TIME AGO…"

The king of Gorch waved his hand dismissively. "Nah…"

"We were just locked away in filing cabinets for a while, that's all," the other creature spoke up.

My mystical voice from beyond let out a sigh of annoyance. "WHADDAYA WANT?"

"We wanna be rich an' famous," Ploobis plainly stated.

"Yeah, and to sing and dance and to make people happy," Scred added. After the king gave him a weird look, he continued, "It says so in the script." He then held up a script for The Muppet Movie to show Ploobis and I.

"I KNOW THE ANSWER TO DAT PROBLEM: GO TA HOLLYWOOD," I answered, "AND TAKE ME ALONG WITH YOUS."

"... oh, boy…" The king suddenly became nervous. "Well, you see, erm, tell 'im Scred," he said, pushing his lackey towards me.

"Well... we're already going to Hollywood," the servant stated meekly.

"AND YOU SCHMUCKS DIDN'T INVITE ME ALONG?" I bellowed.

"Hey, you weren’t in the filing cabinets with us!" Scred argued in defense.

"DAT'S BECAUSE NO ONE DISRESPECTS THE MIGHTY FAVOG," I told them.

"Yes, O Mighty Favog," Ploobis meekly stated as Scred hid behind them. "We know, nobody disrespects you, and we’re sorry!"

For some reason, I liked to see them like this. It was new, and I liked it. "ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, YOUS TWO," I finally responded in my other-worldly voice after they had been cowering for a while. "I, DA MIGHTY FAVOG, HAVE DECIDED TO BE GENEROUS AND GRANT YOUR WISH." There was a long pause afterwards, during which I chuckled a few times. "BUT IN RETURN FOR LEAVIN’ ME BEHIND, YOU MUST AGREE TO CERTAIN… CONDITIONS."

"Anything, your mystical bigness," Scred happily replied.

"Yeah, no problem," Ploobis said with a ready nod.

"GET A REAL JOB" was all that I said to them.

There was silence. The two Gorch denizens stared at me in shock, as if they didn’t even know what I had just said. And then their voices nearly shattered my eardrums a few moments later.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The two hurried to try to open the car door to get out with no avail. They tried many things to open the door, including resorting to using Scred as a battering ram. Obviously, that didn’t work.

A gong sounded again, and the spirit that was in my body left me, causing me to have a slip of consciousness. Suddenly, I felt as if I was being picked up. The sound of pattering feet could be heard underneath me. I opened my eyes just in time to see the door open and for me to be suddenly tossed out.

"Help! I think I’m melting!" I yelled in alarm as I fell out of the car. "This is all your fault!" I exclaimed, directing my angry comment towards the two aliens that were still inside the car.

Fortunately for me, I landed on something soft. It was feathery, like a pillow, and it was also a little plump. I propped myself up with my arms to see the form underneath me…

… and I came face-to-face with my best friend.

At first, neither of us spoke. It was such an awkward moment that neither of us found our voices until a little while later.

"Wow," Lindbergh commented, "this is a… weird position…"

"That position, Mr. Scott," I told the kiwi, "would not only be unavailing, but also... undignified."

"Erm, yeah," my friend agreed, trying to get out from underneath me. "This is kinda awkward…"

Both of us looked up to see that most of the others had returned from their errands and were staring at us in confusion/shock/some other weird emotion that I couldn’t figure out. Then there was a period of awkward silence, during which none of us spoke.

"Man, I don’t even wanna know," Wisss stated, breaking the silence.

"You said it," Leon agreed as he put an arm around Vazh. "C’mon, Vazh baby, let’s get in the car."

Everyone then started to climb into the car as if nothing had happened. Lindbergh and I stood up, both red from embarrassment, and took our seats in the car. "We’re going to look back at this years from now and laugh," I whispered to him. (I still don’t find it funny.)

Before Clifford turned on the ignition, a familiar mystical voice from beyond sounded throughout the entire vehicle. "DIS IS DA MIGHTY FAVOG," it announced, "REMINDIN’ YOUS GUYS AND GALS TO BUCKLE UP. THE TRIP TO HOLLYWOOD IS GONNA BE BUMPY."

"Hold up!" Clifford interrupted. "How do you know this? We’re hardly even halfway there."

"YOU DARE QUESTION THE MIGHTY FAVOG?" the voice asked our bass player.

"What is this, anyway?" Clifford looked back at me. "Digit, did you pick up another psychic radio show again?"

I shook my head frantically. "I think you better listen to what he says, though," I told him. "This guy sounds serious."

"DANG RIGHT, I AM," the voice of the Mighty Favog responded (paraphrased). "IF YOUS DON’T SHUT UP," he told Clifford, "I’LL PLACE A CURSE ON YOUS."

"Oh yeah?" Clifford asked. "Like what?"

"YOU WILL BE ON TWO OF THEM NEW MUPPET SHOWS IN THE FUTURE," the mystical voice from beyond predicted. "BOTH OF THEM WILL BE CANCELLED."

"… yeah," our bass player said nonchalantly, "like that will ever--"

"SHUT UP!" the voice interrupted. "THE MIGHTY FAVOG HAS SPOKEN. NOW BUCKLE UP AND TURN THE CAR ON."

All of us obeyed what the voice said (even Clifford) and we all waited as our driver turned on the ignition.

"HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS," the all-mighty booming voice announced, "IT’S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE."

Suddenly, the car drove itself forward into a portal that magically appeared in front of us. Inside the portal, all sorts of colors swirled around the vehicle as it made its high-speed journey through the strange and magical portal.

Everyone was hanging on for their lives, either to each other (in Francine and Flash‘s case, as well as Leon and Vazh’s) or to the seats (basically, the rest of us). In fact, the only one that stayed perfectly calm through all of this was Wisss. When I glanced over at him, the hairy creature was just sitting there with a spaced-out look on his face, just as calm as can be.

Up ahead, the swirling tunnel of the lava lamp colors opened up to a street. "THIS IS YOUR STOP," the voice finally announced. "THANK YOU FOR TRAVELIN’ WITH ME, THE MIGHTY FAVOG. AND, UH, DON’T FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT, YOUS TWO," he added before a gong sounded.

Both Ploobis and Scred gulped. They obviously did not want the results of what was going to happen after the trip.

 

[RedPiggy]

That was hilarious. Great job!

 

[ReneeLouvier]

Awesome chapter, Cait! Can't wait to read more of it honestly, I am loving this story.

 

[AnimatedC9000]

Chapter 18

"That smart-aleck Favog," King Ploobis muttered as we drove out of the portal and onto the street.

"MIGHTY Favog, your angriness," Scred corrected.

"How DARE he suggest that we get jobs," the king pouted, thinking that it was unfair punishment.

"Man, I don’t know who that guy was," Clifford started, "but I ought to give him a piece of my mind. Imagine, me ending up on two cancelled shows… Can you even picture me on two cancelled shows?"

I wasn’t concerned about their worries. All I could think of was how we could leave a good impression on Kermit and the rest of the Muppets. We couldn’t afford to mess up, I knew that much.

"Whoa, those bricks are, like, parallel," Wisss commented, his eyes on an object straight ahead of the car.

"Who cares?" Leon asked, wanting to enjoy his time with Vazh before they had to part.

"No, WALL!" Francine suddenly yelled, pointing straight ahead at what Wisss was looking at.

Sure enough, there in front of us was a wall. It was solid, made out of brick, and we were approaching it quickly.

A lot of things then started to happen at once. First we all started to scream. Then Vazh fainted into Leon’s arms and Clifford hurried to gain control of the steering wheel.

"Aw man, I’m already cancelled!" our driver exclaimed as we approached the wall.

"Vazh baby, wake up!" Leon was desperately trying to get the servant girl awake.

"Flash, I love you!" the drummer shouted before clinging to her boyfriend.

"I love you too, Francine!" Flash spoke back before he closed his eyes and held his girlfriend close to him.

"Well, that’s ONE payment I can avoid!" the king happily exclaimed as we approached certain death.

"Put your hands in the air!" his servant added. "It’s more fun!"

"Oh, I KNEW I should’ve installed bigger bumpers on the car when I had the chance!" Lindbergh regretted.

I suddenly heard music that grew increasingly louder as we approached the wall. It was very melodic and almost angelic. "Someday you’ll find it… the Rainbow Connection…"

Is this really the end? I thought to myself. Am I really going to heaven?

"The lovers…"

"This is it… goodbye, guys," I bid farewell to them, closing my eyes and awaiting my fate.

"The dreamers, and--"

Oddly enough, I didn’t hear the car crash into the wall. What I did hear was the car crashing into something else, accompanied by a multitude of screams.

There was a sudden halt, and I felt myself lean forward abruptly. (I probably would’ve flown out the windshield if it hadn’t been for my seatbelt.) I kept thinking to myself, What happened? Why did we stop?

I opened my eyes and saw that we were all still safe and sound inside the car. As if that wasn’t strange enough, the area outside of the car had become the inside of a movie studio with panicked Muppets running around for cover.

I blinked. Muppets? Movie studio? Had we all arrived at our destination safely?

Or was this really heaven and would Elvis suddenly appear singing one of his greatest hits?

All of us sat there in shock for a while, not speaking a word. It was a miracle that we made it alive, but did we destroy something else in the process?

After moments of letting all of this sink in, Beard finally spoke up. "Hey, I think we should get out of the car and scope the place out," he said with a hint of nervousness, unbuckling his seat belt.
We all followed his lead, seeing as it was our only other option.

Slowly, all of us emerged from the car and stepped onto the solid ground of the studio. I took some relief in that I could at least stand on my own two feet.

At the sound of various mumbles, I turned around. What I saw was the ruined set pieces that the car ran through, as well as various props scattered around. Various Muppets were among them, but none appeared to be in any pain.

"That was great!" exclaimed the unmistakable voice of the Great Gonzo. "Let’s try it once more from the top!"

"GONZO!" the others yelled in exasperation.

"B-but… if we suspend the car from the top," the weirdo explained, "we could REALLY make a killing!"

"That’s what I’m afraid of!" Kermit stated in a worried voice.

"Aw man, what a rip-off!" I heard Scred angrily complain from behind me.

I cautiously approached Kermit and the rest of the group, which by now included some of the cast of Sesame Street. "K-Kermit… I’m awfully sorry about what happened," I apologized for the rest of my group. "We all are…"

The frog looked like he was about to explode. The rest of the Muppets’ eyes widened, waiting for what was to come.

Then, Kermit’s eyes settled on a majority of the kids from Sesame Street that were assembled at the studio. He then observed us with shock. The poor amphibian hadn’t a clue about what to say.

"At least everyone’s okay," a tall, yellow bird calmly spoke up.

"… you’re right, Big Bird," Kermit commented. "Everyone is okay… and that’s all that matters…"

He took a few moments to let it all sink in. When the frog in charge finally did manage to calm down, he managed to put a smirk on his face as he addressed me. "Digit, we had a parking lot out back."

I felt my cheeks redden as I started to rub the back of my head, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah… um… right."

Kermit chuckled for a brief moment before turning to the rest of the band and the crew from Gorch. "Hi-ho," he started to introduce himself, "I’m--"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A--" Petua started to yell at the frog, making him nervous.

"You got any LOW ones?" Ploobis interjected. "We’ve been on a really long drive…"

The frog gulped nervously. "Good grief…"

An awkward silence soon followed. A REALLY awkward silence…

"Um… shouldn’t we continue filming?" Gonzo suggested after a long period of silence.

"But the scene’s ruined," Kermit claimed.

"Ruined?" the blue daredevil repeated. "Why, you should use that footage in the movie! Personally, I believe that it was one of our finest moments…"

Kermit looked around. The others, all good friends of his, shrugged. He did so as well. "Why not?" he asked rhetorically. He jabbed a spindly green finger in Gonzo's torso. "But YOU'RE the scapegoat."

"Whoo-hoo!" Gonzo was more than happy to be a part of all of this. He then walked away from the crowd, spouting off a hundred ideas for incorporating the footage.

Thanks to the combined efforts of ourselves and the rest of the Muppets, the movie ended up looking how it does today. The blue weirdo, suspended by balloons, crashed into the rainbow in the background. The chaos unfolded from there, with the set falling apart and the Muppets falling down. Crazy Harry messing with the switchboard was a combined idea between the dynamite expert, Lindbergh, and myself. We had a lot of fun filming that part.

When the chaos settled down, Lindbergh and I triggered the lighting to illuminate a rainbow into the studio. Kermit turned to the camera and began to sing. "Life’s like a movie, write your own ending…"

"Keep believing, keep pretending," the other Muppets joined in. The camera then pulled back to reveal a huge crowd of Muppets singing along, including a majority of the cast from The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, and even the Gorch crew. "We’ve done just what we’ve set out to do… thanks to the lovers… the dreamers… and you!"