Chapter 21
"How could you expect a woman of any stature to stay in this guest room? Look at the curtains? They clash with the bedspread! Pink doesn't go with black!"
Mildred Huxtetter, self-appointed interior decorator of the Muppet mansion, was putting the finishing (or perhaps starting) touches on the guest room for Matty's arrival. With many of the Muppets at the airport waiting for Mrs. Eagle (or just looking to hit up the duty-free shops), Mildred was left with quite the feeble crew.
"Shouldn't there be a nest in here, seeing as she's a bird and all? There's a coop for Camilla in her room," stated Skeeter, in between bites from a bag of popcorn.
"She's an upright bird, she needs a mattress and pillows. And quit eating in here, you're getting kernels on the floor." Mildred pointed to something on the floor, which may have been a kernel or a bolt that Beauregard dropped on the floor or even one of Thog's baby teeth.
"Get the Fazoobs or the Kazoos or the Fuzziwigs or whatever that alien is that has the really long nose, they'll just suck it up like a vacuum." Skeeter then did her demonstration of said alien, suggesting that she did not have a career in pantomime.
"If you're not helping, you're hindering! Now I need all the help I can get to finish this before Matty gets here. So help out or show yourself out."
Nigel stuck his head in the doorway. "Looks like Matty and the rest of them have got back from the airport."
Mildred collapsed onto the bed in a heap.
"What's with her?", questioned Nigel as him and Skeeter made their way to the front door as part of the welcoming party.
Down in the driveway, a multitude of Muppets were trying to get Matty's bags out of the trunk of Sam's car, while Matty stood in the driveway, taking in the whole scene with Kermit.
"So is the place like you remember it?"
Matty smiled. "The house isn't on fire like the last time."
Kermit smirked. "We took out the fire pit after that. I still don't know what the Swedish Chef was using to make smores."
"But seriously, the place is beautiful. I can't wait to settle in and catch up with everyone."
Sam, Hillary and Andrew emerged from the trunk with Matty's bags.
"Mom, when we get inside I have to show you what I've been working on for the new show. We're making a replica of a Plinko board since Drew Carey's guesting next week."
"Sounds great, Andrew! I just need to put my bags in my room and then you can show it to me."
The menagerie of Muppets moved inside, where a distraught Mildred was sighing in the foyer.
"Matty, I hope you will forgive me for the state of your room," she said, throwing herself into Matty. "I haven't been able to get to Williams-Sonoma lately."
"I'm sure it's fine," she said while inwardly squirming.
Sam stepped in, shooing Mildred away. "Would you get off my wife? Show a little grace, please. You look like you've been shot."
Mildred slunk away while Sam stared at the group around him.
"All right, let's get your things upstairs."
Sam tried to carry all the bags by himself, and began to struggle up the stairs while Matty frowned.
"Sam, I can take a bag or two."
"Nonsense. I've got it," wheezed Sam as he reached the halfway point of the staircase. Just then Beauregard, who had been vacuuming the upstairs hall, noticed Sam struggling.
"Let me come help!"
"No, Beau, I can handle it."
But it was too late, for Beau had made it down to Sam and grabbed a handle on a suitcase. "Let me get this."
"I've got it!"
"But you've got so many bags!"
The two continued their tug-of-war over the suitcase to the horror and apathy of all the Muppets at the bottom of the stairs. Matty tried to make her way up to the scrum, but then- FLUMP! The suitcase popped open and Matty's belongings came tumbling down the stairs, a sweater landing on her head, a bottle of perfume opening on Zoot, and a balled-up pair of socks nearly knocking over Robin. After the clothes settled, the silence was deafening.
"I like those socks," Fozzie meekly whispered.
"Zoot smell GREAT," yelled Animal. "That LAVENDER?"
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Matty made her way over to her things and began picking them up, haphazardly shoving them into her open suitcase.
"Well, looks like I don't have to bother unpacking when I get upstairs, you've already done that for me, Sam," she said, perhaps with a bit of an eye roll.
"Sorry," mumbled Sam with the slightest hint of blush on his face.
"I've got your suitcase," shouted Beauregard as he made his way down the stairs, gingerly wheeling the open luggage down to the crowd of Muppets, which had moved back to give Matty space.
"Thank you, Beau. It was very kind of you to offer to help Sam out. I just wish he would have take n you up on the offer." Her statement was followed-up by a dagger-worthy stare to Sam, as if he had somehow missed the tone of the statement.
She stuffed her clothes in the suitcase, took what ever toiletries could be salvaged, apologized profusely to Zoot, and then, carrying her own bags, made her way upstairs, with Hillary and Andrew in tow. Most of the assembled crowd of Muppets dispersed, the spilling of the clothes and perfume making the excitement of Matty's arrival evaporate and dissipate. Besides, there was a show to be worked on and Thanksgiving dinner to plan.
Sam was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, feeling a mixture of anger and embarrassment, with Fozzie and Robin.
"Well, I'm glad to see Matty arrived safely. You guys should have a lot of fun this week."
"Plus she's here in time for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday! Uncle Kermit throws the best Thanksgiving dinners!"
"I know, Robin, right? Remember last year when Bunsen tried his Insta-Potato Masher and it ended up mashing a hole in the kitchen counter? You could see right down into the cabinet where Dr. Teeth keeps all his different cereals. Thank goodness the Chinese food place was open or else we'd have to have eaten at 7-11."
"Yeah, the lo mein was awesome! Sam, what did you have that night? I remember you refused to go to the restaurant with us, saying that it wasn't right. Aunt Piggy told me that you ate cold stuffing out of the pan while mumbling about America, but I don't believe her."
"What?" Sam appeared to be temporarily lost in thought.
"Robin and I were talking about Thanksgiving. Are you okay though? You look distracted."
"Are you upset about the luggage falling? Don't be, no one got hurt with the clothes. I ducked out of the way of the socks. And Zoot probably smells better than ever!"
"No, it's not that."
"Then are you worried about something? ," questioned Fozzie.
"Maybe he's worried about the broken dryer," offered Robin.
"Don't worry about that," said Fozzie as he clasped his hand on Sam's back. "Kermit called Beau's cousin Mo to come and fix it, he'll be here tomorrow. Dr. Teeth is going to the cleaners later on if you need something dried right now."
"It's not that either!"
"Then what's bothering you, Sam?" asked Robin.
"Maybe it's Matty," stated Fozzie before Sam cut him down with a glare.
"Nothing is bothering me, thank you!"
Robin and Fozzie looked at each other and shrugged.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Robin."
"Are you sure you're sure?"
"Yes, Fozzie."
The silence filled the air for what seemed like a small eternity before Sam finally broke the silence.
"I've got to be going, must make sure everything's going all right with my kids and their mother." Sam stomped off behind them, out the front door.
"Hey, Fozzie," asked Robin as he hopped onto Fozzie's shoulder, "why did Sam go outside if everyone went upstairs?"
"I don't think Sam's exactly thinking straight right now. By the way, do you want some chinese food? I'm getting hungry."
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Coming up in Chapter 22: It's Thanksgiving, and not everyone is thankful.
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Did u like Sam in the movie? Love that song during interrogation--very Muppety! How much have you written for next chapter?
Wha?
Is that a fic Mupdate?
Yeah, guess so, it's posted by Chahlie and all.
It wasn't easy getting all those guys to guest star in the chapter. At least all it took for my sis to show up was a bag of popcorn. *Beat. And the chance to pester someone else for a change.
Why do I smell all flowery and stuff?
You are all weirdos. Especially the person relating this nonsense. *Stomps off with a scowl on his face.
And I wasn't even in this last chapter. *Shrugs. C'mon Riz, Robin, let's get some Chinese food at that little place down the street. Still have that guy's credit card.