A Muppet Horror Movie

[TogetherAgain]

In a word- WOW!
In more than a word- Particularly love the "FMO".

 

[G-MAN]

Thank you all for your praise, it was tough at first, but I knew that I wanted to get a more obscure character out of the way before I start to begin with the more well known. Expect to see some more loss, and hopefully a few surprises when I continue the story tomorrow. Oh, and the FMO was just a fun way of answering, to me anyway whatever happened to various Muppets when they retire, glad you liked that Together

 

[Beauregard]

Yes, it's a great idea. I wonder who else would be living there. George, Wayne, Wanda....

 

[Just J]

Yes, the FMO should certainly not be restricted to this story.

 

[G-MAN]

Chapter 2

Chaos ensued in the Muppet theater, but that of course was normal. Everyone was doing what they did best, The Swedish Chef was cooking, Rizzo and Pepe were trying to steal the food, Johnny Fiama was practicing a song with Rowlf playing the piano and Sal needlessly guarding Johnny. Beaker was hiding, hoping that Bunsen wouldn't be able to find him to test another experiment on, and Clifford was on vacation, leaving Beauregard to change the light. All of a sudden Beaker heard a voice, "Oh Beakie, there you are, I was just trying out Muppet Lab's new Invisibility spray, and wanted to know if you'll help me make some finishing...", but before the invisible voice could continue Beaker ran off to hide someplace else. Up on the balcony, where Bunsen was calling to Beaker from, Bunsen was shocked to find that bot Statler and Waldorf were both willing to try it out. "Anything to help us sneak up on Fozzie to heckle him better." Waldorf said, "Anything to help us hide from having to go to another show." Statler said, "Doh ho ho ho".

Backstage Kermit was going over today's schedule when Beaker nearly ran him over when he was going by, "Sheesh, Beaker, cool it. This isn't The Battle Of The Muppet All-Stars, this is the Muppet theater". Just then Scooter came rushing down the stairs, "Kermit, do you remember our old Wardrobe mistress Hilda", "Yeah", Kermit said, "why?". Scooter, turned the small TV on, "You've got to see this.". The news was on and the Muppet Newsman was there talking about the death at the Retired Muppet Apartment Building, "Now, here to talk to us about violence is one of Hilda's oldest friends, Mildred Huxtetter, PHD, GED, RSVP, IOU, DVD". "Yes, I think it's wonderful that they're thinking of it, there should definately be more violets on television.", Mildred said. "Not violets, violence as in shooting off a gun and what happened to your friend.", exclaimed the Newsman. "Oh, that's very different, never mind", Mildred said, giving a sheepish laugh. "And there, you have it, in other news The Muppet Show Season 1 Box Set has been a smash hit and, WHAT AM I SAYING!!!!", yelled the Newsman as a pile of DVDs fell on top of him.

"I don't believe this", Kermit said as he shut off the TV. "Well, it was a very good series", assured Scooter. "Not that", Kermit said, "I mean Hilda, just yesterday I was down at the FMO visiting a couple of old friends and as a guest speaker, and she seemed just fine then, with no thoughts of death in her future and now...", Kermit lookd down sadly. "When's the funeral?", "Tuesday", Scooter said. "Good", said Kermit, "We'll take the day off thst day and show up, the whole gang, it's what she would have wanted." "Call a group meeting."

 

[TogetherAgain]

I just have to say, the first sentence of that chapter was hilarious. Also love that Kermit goes to visit the FMO, and that EVERYBODY is going to the funeral.

But oh... Hilda... <sigh>. I'll go to the funeral, too.

...that is, assuming the horror aspect doesn't kick in before then...

Oh, just tell me more! Please please please please!

 

[theprawncracker]

AWESOME!!! It's just really good. And funny!

 

[G-MAN]

Ok Lisa, if you insist, lol

Chapter 3

All of the Muppets crowde around the theater at the end of the day everyone wondering just what this meeting was. For a couple of seconds Kermit sat there on the stage deep in thought, allowing his frieds to continue to talk amongst themselves. Then he leaned forward to Scooter and said "Tell them to knock it off.". Scooter turned to look at Fozzie 'Hey Fozzie, knock it off". Fozzie turned to Gonzo and said "Hey Gonzo knock it off". As the famous old "Knock it off" gag played out Kermit scrunched up his face and said "Sheesh".

"All right everybody quiet", Kermit said but no one listened, "Quiet.", but still no one listened. Finally Kermit pulled out a megaphone and yelled into it "QUIET!!!!", everybody then turned to look up at Kermit except for Janice who said "So I like, told him 'Father if I want to start parading myself on the street I'll do...'" then realized that everybody was staring at her. "Ok, Kermit, what's going on?" said Fozzie. "Yes Kermie, what's wrong" said Piggy. Kermit then told them about the news report and about how Hilda was discovered and when the funeral would be.

"How could such a thing happen?", "Who could have done it?", "If Johnny wants to know who did it someone better tell Johnny right now.", "Calm down Sal." "Me-me-me-me-me." were some of the the things the Muppets exclaimed as once again the theater became a mad house. After another yell from the megaphone Kermit assured everyone that it will all be ok, and that after the funeral they will have their own special memorial service to send Hilda off with a bang. "Did somebody say bang?" exclaimed Crazy Harry from within the crowd. "No!!!!!!!!!!!!" the crowd yelled and a bunch of Muppets held Crazy Harry down to keep him from setting off the plunger.

Oh and don't worry Lisa, the next death won't come until after the funeral.

 

[Beauregard]

Finally Kermit pulled out a megaphone and yelled into it "QUIET!!!!

Ha! One of the funniest things in the whole story, but not THE funniest. That was here:

"Now, here to talk to us about violence is one of Hilda's oldest friends, Mildred Huxtetter, PHD, GED, RSVP, IOU, DVD". "Yes, I think it's wonderful that they're thinking of it, there should definately be more violets on television.", Mildred said. "Not violets, violence as in shooting off a gun and what happened to your friend.", exclaimed the Newsman. "Oh, that's very different, never mind", Mildred said, giving a sheepish laugh.

That whole exchange was hilarious!

This fan-fic is working well!

 

[G-MAN]

That bit was a reference to Emily Litella, a character that Gilda Radner once performed on SNL. The classic mistake was originally violins but I figured someone batty like Mildred (no offense Beau) would prefer violets instead.