2007 Muppet Presidential Election begins

[The Count]

Scooter: At this time, we are not at liberty to reveal just which candidate Mr. Kermit will be voting for. So please refrain from asking like questions in the future. That is all.

*Wiping brow, boy I hope he makes the right choice. Would hate to have to scrape him off of one of the theater's walls.

 

[Luke]

Muppet Newsman This is a Muppet Newsflash! Excitement and apprehension is abound in Muppet land with speculation as to which way Kermit The Frog is planning to vote. Being a secret ballot we can't release details from our insider sources as to how he will vote, as we don't actually have any - BUT i can reveal that in a move that will shock many, (especially Kermit once the Pig gets hold of him), the frog himself earlier today filmed a cameo role in the forthcoming and hotly anticipated Dr Bunz Campaign Video. Sources say Dr Bunsen will soon release a transcript of this masterpiece to the media and as usual, we'll have it here last. Other suprise Muppets were also on set filming appearances, including one who had a huge yellow trailer, and two guest stars who had twin trailers. The shoot was directed by Mr Rizzo of Rizzo T Rat Cheapo Productions alongside George Lucas, Produced by Gonzo T Great, Executive Producers are Steven Speilberg, Brian Henson, Lisa Henson and all the other Hensons. The script was written by Bean Bunny alongside co-writers Ozzy Osbourne and Wily Coyote. All monies recieved from the film will be given to Mr Pepe King Prawn of the hot dates for lonley crustuceans charity. More news to follow after these pictures of goldfish!

 

[Beakerfan]

Beaker: That's right GROVER. Kermit doesn't want to say who he's voting for because - secretly - he's voting for ME.

 

[The Count]

Scooter: Get away you trouble makers!!

Sam the Eagle: I have been asked to come here and debunk this load of rot that the Bunsen Honeydew campaign is attempting to pass off as "newsworthy". The Kermit they have reported to be involved in their latest campaign commercial is nothing more than a mere poser, a charletan. They have ceaselessly continued to wage a fierce front against Miss Piggy... All because she is a female pig seeking to be the first woman president,a noble pursuit. And as we know, men of science are always deathly afraid of women in power. So I assure you that Kermit has not voted for Bunsen Honeydew, nor has he voted for Beaker, these were nothing more than a pack of cheap lies disseminated by both members of the former Muppet Labs As it turns out, they have not paid their mortgage loans and the bank defaulted on their property. So the First Bank of Hensonville has sent in people to repossess the apothecary abode and put it up for sale through auction. Now then, if these attacks do not end, we here at the Miss Piggy campaign will be forced to release our secret weapon, which we have resisted from unleashing for quite some time. That is all.. Move along citizens and vote for Miss Piggy.

 

[Erine81981]

Herry: Who's the bald eagle guy?

He's really out dated. He don't like them but he keeps hanging out with them. Don't understand the guy. Come on. Let's you and the others go get something to eat.

Herry: Sounds good to me.

 

[Luke]

Muppet Newsman: This is a Muppet Newsflash. Bananas Split! In other news Sam The Eagle was today revealed as being of Canadian origin. Psychologists say this should have been detected earlier from his guilty stance of promoting the USA, and his shifty eyes which has even led to there being an action figure variant. As immigration officials ruffled his feathers during a lengthy interview he was reported to have gone into a panic and tried to distract peoples attention by making false claims about Kermit The Frogs appearance in the Dr Bunz campaign video (on DVD soon) and about the financial status of Muppet Labs. Police have confirmed that the contract between Kermit The Frog and Dr Bunsen is authentic, watertight, and that there are no financial problems at Muppet Labs. Kermit The Frog had this to say at a hastily arranged press conference while making a special appearance judging a dancing poodle contest :-

Kermit: Jeez guys, whats the big deal. I just filmed a small walk on part in the Dr Bunz campaign video. He's a great guy, he stands up for all green issues and he's even a similar color to me. I don't see the problem.

** Someone holds up sign showing photo of Miss Piggy and points to it **

Kermit: Ummm, Ugh I see the problem. (Runs)

 

[The Count]

Sam: What do you mean "outdated" sir?!? I'll have you know that the proud bald eagle is the national bird, the very symbol of these glorious United States of America. Now go out and do your civic duty by voting.
Sal: For Miss Piggy!

 

[Luke]

** Immigration officials lead Sam The Eagle away, handcuffed and looking dishevelled **

Bunsen: Hey Sal. Free bananas over at the Dr Bunz Campaign Headquarters. Johnny's Ma is even over there making pasta for everyone with "Vote Bunz" written in tomato sauce. Didn't you know? Johnny Fiamma sang the theme to the Dr Bunz Campaign Video.

 

[The Count]

Morty appears out of a column of flames: Unhand my client! He's a natural born citizen.
*The immigration police, scared for their lives of the devil, release Sam and nervously scurry off.

Sal: Free bananas? Here's what I think of your doity underhanded tactics Bun-baby!
*Throws banana cream pi, smacking Bunsen straight in the face smudging his glasses.

Uncle Deadly: One more deed like that Bunsen, and we shall unleash our secret weapon upon you... The likes of which you will regret to your dying day.

 

[Erine81981]

Telly: Why is it that this seem to be getting a little out of hand?

FilFil: Because i think it is.

Telly: Let's get out of here!

Both run off