Dealing with depression and anxiety

[DramaQueenMokey]

Yesterday, I had a pretty good day. A lot has happened in regards of my emotional health, I let my estranged mother back into my life due to the fact that being angry wasn't helping me at all.

She's not so bad and she realizes that she indeed made very many mistakes in the past and although she can't take them back, she is more than willing to make up for them.

However, lately, my dad has been on edge (due to his fiancee who I can no longer stand because I found out she hates me and he may or may not be leaving her, I don't know), and yesterday, after I had such a nice day he flipped out on me when I got home to my grandmas house and just SCREAMED at me over the phone and when I say screamed I mean SCREAMED and he had no reason to get so angry with me. He then sent me into an anxiety/panic attack, I was shaking and crying and couldn't stop for a while. He claimed that he was jut frustrated because I hadn't given him a time to come and get me, but, he didn't have to FREAK OUT when he knew I was perfectly safe and when I was asking him when would be better for him to come and get me.

I was at my abuela's (grandmother's) house and she was there and so was my mother and they were just trying to help, but, they kept offering to hug me and give me things to eat or drink, but, it wasn't helping. And I'm not the type of person that normally likes to be touched (I just don't like it!) and my mother finally caved and hugged me and that just made it worse, I especially don't like to be touched during an anxiety episode, I get that she just wanted to help and it hurt her to see me like that but it didn't help. After an hour of that I was finally able to calm down and she took me out for some air which was helpful. Then I was able to explain to just leave me be when I have an episode.

I hadn't had any anxiety for a long time until yesterday, I had calmed down and went home, but, it really didn't help that my dad gave me a lecture about having to be nice to his fiancee when she's not nice to me and if I wasn't going to be nice to her, to at least be nice to her bratty kids. I do not talk back to my elders, but, I said no, his fiancee doesn't treat me well so, I have every right to treat her the way she treats me. And her kids are too much of a handful, I am done playing freebie baby-sitter, those kids are nothing to me and I have no obligation to do anything for them. Dad said I had a point and left me alone about it, but, that doesn't change that he's completely ignoring my feelings and the fact that when he yells at me for no reason is upsetting!

I'm doing alright today, my dad is out with his fiancee or something and I might just go out and do something for a while...I hate this and hope it passes soon.

 

[charlietheowl]

Aw, I'm sorry. I hope you are feeling better now.

 

[DramaQueenMokey]

Aw, I'm sorry. I hope you are feeling better now.

Thanks <3 I'm feeling much better now, but, nothing has been solved :/ my dad was busy flipping out

 

[meepmuppaphones]

I've been bullied since kindergarten, and it sorta reached its peak in fourth grade. But I dealt with it quickly and efficiently, using my trump card.

Optimism.

With optimism, ignorance, and annoying happiness, I could run rings over them all. If someone bullied me, I'd act super-happy and annoy them and follow them everywhere until they crack.
Soon, I found my popularity had boosted.
After all, "ignorance is bliss".

I'm also big on panic attacks. I remember in sixth grade, a flame on a candle grew about three inches tall, and I started blubbering like an idiot. Anything that surprises me, you can guarantee I'm gonna go into panic. Even nowadays, when someone uses Dust-Off in my presence, I go into a huge panic attack and go red in the face and start breathing real heavily. I'm scared of SO MANY THINGS IT IS SOOO HARD TO GET ON WITH DAILY LIFE.

 

[Gonzo's Hobbit]

What's dust off? That almost sounds more like an asthma attack.

 

[meepmuppaphones]

It's this compressed gas that cleans dust from the little spaces between the keys in your keyboards.

 

[newsmanfan]

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Sorry to hear of your family troubles, DQM...I wasn't good at adjusting to a blended family either, but thankfully all my stepsiblings are much older and moved out shortly after I and my brother moved in, so it wasn't the sort of issue you're having. If your dad is set on marrying this woman, and her kids will be part of your household, you're unfortunately either going to have to find a way to live neutrally alongside them, or move in with your mother, I suppose. Doesn't sound like a great pair of options... How are you so sure the fiancee doesn't like you? Maybe she just doesn't get you? (Hey, we can hope...)

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[DramaQueenMokey]

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Sorry to hear of your family troubles, DQM...I wasn't good at adjusting to a blended family either, but thankfully all my stepsiblings are much older and moved out shortly after I and my brother moved in, so it wasn't the sort of issue you're having. If your dad is set on marrying this woman, and her kids will be part of your household, you're unfortunately either going to have to find a way to live neutrally alongside them, or move in with your mother, I suppose. Doesn't sound like a great pair of options... How are you so sure the fiancee doesn't like you? Maybe she just doesn't get you? (Hey, we can hope...)

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Thanks for the support Newsie <3 and I'm so sure his fiancee doesn't like me because I brought it up to my dad and he didn't answer me, he made something up along the lines of: "Well, she doesn't not like you..." -_- Also her throwing out my keys I think puts the icing on the cake, why would she do something so bad to a a teenage kid knowing it would set my dad off?

 

[newsmanfan]

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Er...she threw OUT your keys? How old exactly is this woman? Not the most mature way to handle a dispute with a soon-to-be-stepdaughter...owch.

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[DramaQueenMokey]

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Er...she threw OUT your keys? How old exactly is this woman? Not the most mature way to handle a dispute with a soon-to-be-stepdaughter...owch.

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Yeah but my dad won't believe me; and she's 41 years old...And no, she's not mature in the least